My dad Died....

Drumpot

Just over a month ago my dad died. He was 77 and it was very sudden, a massive stroke on the Monday and he was gone by the next afternoon.

In many ways I feel lucky to of spent so much time with him. I was his business partner for nearly 10 years and got more time with him in his final years then most get.

In another way it makes it more difficult. I am now working without him and the loss of a father, a supporter and a friend is really hard to deal with. I miss him so much.

I am told and believe, that over time, that the pain gets less frequent. I find it harder now then it was the first two or so weeks of his death when I suppose shock was the overriding feeling.

I still don't fully believe he is gone.

CaraMay

I'm sorry for your loss op. It must be so hard.

Buona Fortuna

Sorry for your loss Drumpot.

Does it get easier? I think the feelings mellow, for want of a better word.

I still think of my Dad everyday. Somedays more than others. Sometimes something will catch me unawares that brings memories flooding back. Like an old film, that he used to love, will come on the tv - if we watch it, I usually have to blow my nose (quite hard) just after his favourite bits.

Drumpot

Buona Fortuna wrote: »

Sorry for your loss Drumpot.

Does it get easier? I think the feelings mellow, for want of a better word.

I still think of my Dad everyday. Somedays more than others. Sometimes something will catch me unawares that brings memories flooding back. Like an old film, that he used to love, will come on the tv - if we watch it, I usually have to blow my nose (quite hard) just after his favourite bits.

Thanks for that. I felt quite ok today and read this and just cried. I suppose its only been a month so its extremely raw.

As a man, my instinct is to either try and suppress the tears or to make sure nobody is around when I am crying! Its a shame I still do this as I find crying an extremely helpful exercise and is most likely the most healthy way of processing my pain.

Wanderer78

Very painful experience op. I lost my father a few years ago from cancer. A truly dreadful experience. It does get easier over time but the loss will always be there. I wish you and your family the very best.

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Very sorry for your loss Drumpot.
I lost my own dad 2 years ago. I don't think it is something you "get over". But things do get a little better. I think it hurts so much now but in time, all those times you got to spend with him, more than most, you'll be able to take comfort in that. One thing I learned it, my life with my dad was a completely different life to without my dad. I'm probably not wording it very well, it makes sense in my head but probably not written down. I think of it as like a book. The part of your life with your dad was one chapter, but this is a new one. It's ok to start things (anything) afresh without him, rather than trying to keep things the same because that's how things were when he was there. Things will be new and be different but that doesn't mean it won't be good.

Do what you need to do to feel better. Cry if you want to cry. It's been over 2 years for me, and I'm still crying when I think about him or talk about him, but I spent about 1.5 years not being able to cry. No tears at all, so I think tears are good. Don't hold them in.

x