Father should bring young daughter into ladies or gents public toilets?

Bobthefireman

I'd just stand at the door of the ladies. I wouldn't go in. Most women would help out a little girl if she needed it.

stefanovich

Cienciano wrote: »

Mens are usually a bit dirtier, píss on the seats and the floor and she has to sit on the seat obviously.

I've had to clean the women's toilets when I worked in a restaurant as a youth. Do not assume they are any cleaner than the men's. I was shocked at the state of it sometimes. Animals, total animals they were.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Bobthefireman wrote: »

I'd just stand at the door of the ladies. I wouldn't go in. Most women would help out a little girl if she needed it.

Being completely honest, unless it was a child of a very close friend, I wouldn't help a strange child in a bathroom, unless it was maybe lifting them up to wash their hands at the sink.

If they were really struggling I'd go get their dad if he was waiting outside

acon2119

If I were you I would bring her into the disabled toilet if there is one available but that's because it would be cleaner than the ladies toilets and more space for the two of you.

Otherwise I wouldn't hesitate to bring her into the ladies toilet....Your child is your number one priority and anyone who would give you strange looks is not worth worrying about.

I am female and I brought my son into the ladies with me until he was probably 7 or 8. I didn't want him going into the men's toilet on his own....

borderlinemeath

Off topic - just on the posters using Dundrums disabled toilet - I've used them too, but on floor 2M (I think) in middle section where O'Briens sandwich bar is and some shops, there's a fantastic family room section - feeding room and big changing room 4 or 5 changers and toilets, even the sinks are child friendly. Usually no waiting, I don't think a huge amount of people use them because there's not many shops and sometimes waiting for the lift can be a pain. I tend to use the lift in the back of monsoon as it's far handier than the main bank of lifts serving all floors.

OP, I wouldn't bat an eyelid at a man helping his daughter in a ladies toilets but if you're ever stuck, most coffee shops even in shopping centres will have a single or a unisex toilet which might be an easier option for you.

storker

Dial Hard wrote: »

You asked a complete stranger to take your child to the loo???

If someone asked me to do that I'd be gobsmacked. Nothing to do with safety or stranger-danger at all, it's just plain rude, imo.

Ok, fair enough, that particular woman was "happy enough" but I think it's a huge imposition to even ask.

It was an emergency, and if it's a question of meeting the child's immediate needs and risking the poor opinion of a stranger, then the child wins every time. I did ask very politely and apologised for any inconvenience, explaining that I wouldn't have been asking if it wasn't an emergency. If she thought that somehow amounted to rudeness, then tough.

pwurple

Either loo is fine. Whatever suits you best (is cleanest, has shorter queue etc)

Some places have unisex Family or Toddler toilets. My husband usually brings our girls to the ladies if he has them out without me, but I don't think there is any problem with using either.

eviltwin

I have a six yr old son I bring to the ladies with me, so far no one has said anything to me. I would like unisex toilets, my son is autistic and he will probably need assistance for another few years yet so I'm dreading the nasty comments I will inevitably get.

Speedwell

eviltwin wrote: »

I have a six yr old son I bring to the ladies with me, so far no one has said anything to me. I would like unisex toilets, my son is autistic and he will probably need assistance for another few years yet so I'm dreading the nasty comments I will inevitably get.

You may want to print cards saying your son has special needs and must be accompanied. It won't stop nasty, ignorant people from being nasty and ignorant, but it will shut them up and provide evidence that you're not being an unfit parent in some vague way. I'm on the spectrum myself and although I am not (fortunately) disabled by it, you and your son have all my sympathy.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

I would in my Swiss print cards to explain my sons medical condition to ignorant pass remarkables.
As long as the young lads aren't peeing on the floor or on the seats, I personally couldn't give a hoot who's going into the cubicles. I'd be more inclined to ask them if they were planning on coming into the cubicle with him? If not, why are they concerned?

eviltwin

LexieOnRale wrote: »

I would in my Swiss print cards to explain my sons medical condition to ignorant pass remarkables.
As long as the young lads aren't peeing on the floor or on the seats, I personally couldn't give a hoot who's going into the cubicles. I'd be more inclined to ask them if they were planning on coming into the cubicle with him? If not, why are they concerned?

Yeah I feel that way too. I don't like the idea of having to advertise my son's condition. I'd quietly say it to someone who challenged me but that's it. I would assume if I saw a woman bringing an older male child into the ladies that one or other needed help but some people are really ignorant and just love to make a fuss.

Speedwell

I completely agree that you should not have to go the extra mile to shut up nasty creepy people, but you cannot reason with nasty creepy people and you can't afford to deal with them being nasty and creepy in a way that harms you. Best to put a stop to it right away.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Speedwell wrote: »

I completely agree that you should not have to go the extra mile to shut up nasty creepy people, but you cannot reason with nasty creepy people and you can't afford to deal with them being nasty and creepy in a way that harms you. Best to put a stop to it right away.

I love people like that. I can outcrazy them in seconds.
Nasty people don't need a reason to be nasty.
I find a "what's it to you?" Goes a long way to people interfering.

Penny Dreadful

stefanovich wrote: »

I've had to clean the women's toilets when I worked in a restaurant as a youth. Do not assume they are any cleaner than the men's. I was shocked at the state of it sometimes. Animals, total animals they were.

Yep, women's toilets are often times totally disgusting. I find at work some women dry their hands with the paper towels and then rather than put the used towels (ones they themselves used) into the bin (a bin that is opened by pressing your foot on the leaver) they throw the used towels into the sink or on top of the bin lid.
Once I asked someoene why they did that and her reply was "sure the cleaner will take care of it".
The reply was awful in and of itself I thought but also it was 09:30 so no cleaner was going to be in until that night and the toilets would be used by many other women during the day and she clearly didn't give a damn about them either.

I was in Liffey Valley on Monday with my husband and my 20 month old daughter and we both needed to use the toilets. My husband took my daughter (in her buggy) into the mens toilets with him expecting that the advertised "family toilet" would be available to both men and women. Needless to say it was only in the women's toilet and the wheelchair toilet door was locked and you were advised to contact a member of staff for access to it.
Thats a pain in the backside for anyone who is in a wheelchair or needs to use that toilet. If you're in an absolute state and really need to use the toilet urgently you have to head off for a member of security to let you in:eek:
Also why is it assumed that only women will have their children with them? My husband often takes our daughter out and about and would require access to facilities where he can use the toilet as well as change her. I don't understand the assumption that only mothers mind their kids.

Penny Tration

Dial Hard wrote: »

You asked a complete stranger to take your child to the loo???

If someone asked me to do that I'd be gobsmacked. Nothing to do with safety or stranger-danger at all, it's just plain rude, imo.

Ok, fair enough, that particular woman was "happy enough" but I think it's a huge imposition to even ask.

when I worked in a shopping centre, I had men ask semi-regularly, if I happened to be queuing for the women's loos. Honestly it didn't occur to me as a big deal, they just didn't feel comfortable going into the women's loos and assumed because I was in a uniform that I could be trusted. No biggie really.

Speedwell

Penny Dreadful wrote: »

Yep, women's toilets are often times totally disgusting. I find at work some women dry their hands with the paper towels and then rather than put the used towels (ones they themselves used) into the bin (a bin that is opened by pressing your foot on the leaver) they throw the used towels into the sink or on top of the bin lid.
Once I asked someoene why they did that and her reply was "sure the cleaner will take care of it".
The reply was awful in and of itself I thought but also it was 09:30 so no cleaner was going to be in until that night and the toilets would be used by many other women during the day and she clearly didn't give a damn about them either.

That's awful, of course. But I often find this: Exit toilet, wash hands, dry hands on paper towel, use paper towel to open main door (since so many people don't wash their hands, ew), hold door open with foot, look for place to throw used paper towel, see open bin, toss, miss. Oh well, I'm not carrying a bathroom-soiled paper towel around with me while I shop.

Into The Blue

We use the mens, put down a layer of paper for her to sit on.. But if your 3yr old has concerns, disabled jax.

duffman3833

i like the toilet setup in Scotch hall in Drogheda. you don't need to touch anything. All automatic. To use the taps, it has sensors and you wave your hanf in from of it and it turns on and then automatic dryers. There is no doors but its designed that no one in corridor can see in as its a curved entrance. So you don't need to touch anything at all, which is the best and most hygienic way

Armchair Andy

Was in a shopping center yesterday where a mother brought her 5-6 year old into the gents, over to the urinals. I didn't give a monkeys, fair play to her for training him into the gents.
I'd never bring my own daughter into the ladies any more, I have done only to be met with looks of disdain and contempt by particularly older generation women.
It's a hard one to call, but I'd be of the thinkung, whatever gender the kid is, let them use that toilet regardless of who's minding them on the day.

masculinist

TheQuietFella wrote: »

I brought my girls into the ladies and I wasn't well received by some of the users!

I didn't care but I could understand the reaction.

Sure - if by 'understand' you basically understand that they are ignorant and small minded.

If an adult male is perceived as a threat to females yet apparently has custody of a small child yet those adult females only care about which bathroom he uses then it just shows how absolutely ridiculous their mindset is. Anyone with an opinion worth acknowledging would be worried about the most innocent i.e the child instead of ruminating on their misandry. Take care of your daughter as a priority. Anytime you have her in your care, you are showing the whole world what a great person you are. And anyone who doesnt want you to do the best for her is showing what terrible people they are. If not terrible then at least very backward displaying some sort of belief that Fathers shouldnt be involved in caring for their kids.

masculinist

Armchair Andy wrote: »

I'd never bring my own daughter into the ladies any more, I have done only to be met with looks of disdain and contempt by particularly older generation women.
It's a hard one to call, but I'd be of the thinkung, whatever gender the kid is, let them use that toilet regardless of who's minding them on the day.

I bring my daughter into the special needs bathrooms usually. Thankfully there are many of those. The question is , whats the legal situation for an adult male entering a signposted female only bathroom ?

irishgirl19

If you are in a shopping centre m&s all have toilets too.

Sapphire

masculinist wrote: »

Anytime you have her in your care, you are showing the whole world what a great person you are.

I've an image of a bloke strutting like a proud peacock down the high street with a kid either side of him and giving smug smirks and nods to the crowd who are gasping with admiration because He Is Minding His Kids and therefore obviously a Great Person.

That's gonna keep me laughing for the day.

2RockMountain

masculinist wrote: »

I bring my daughter into the special needs bathrooms usually. Thankfully there are many of those. The question is , whats the legal situation for an adult male entering a signposted female only bathroom ?

I don't think there is any explicit legislation about bathrooms, so unless somebody was to report a crime under something more general such as breach of the peace or similar?

stefanovich

masculinist wrote: »

I bring my daughter into the special needs bathrooms usually. Thankfully there are many of those. The question is , whats the legal situation for an adult male entering a signposted female only bathroom ?

It is basically assault unless you state that you feel like a woman on the inside. Then you are fine.

Speedwell

stefanovich wrote: »

It is basically assault unless you state that you feel like a woman on the inside. Then you are fine.

It's not assault unless you assault someone. I don't bloody care how you look or feel so long as you leave me the hell alone while you're in the bathroom. This goes for people who look and identify like me all the way up to purple and green aliens from Alpha Centauri. I'm minding my own business, so you should mind yours. Oh, and please wash your hands.

Orion

stefanovich wrote: »

It is basically assault unless you state that you feel like a woman on the inside. Then you are fine.

Sorry what? Walking in to a toilet is assault now? Bet you refuse to shop in Target don't you?

stefanovich

Orion wrote: »

Sorry what? Walking in to a toilet is assault now? Bet you refuse to shop in Target don't you?

Exaggeration and sarcasm.

masculinist

Sapphire wrote: »

I've an image of a bloke strutting like a proud peacock down the high street with a kid either side of him and giving smug smirks and nods to the crowd who are gasping with admiration because He Is Minding His Kids and therefore obviously a Great Person.

That's gonna keep me laughing for the day.

Well thanks for being mature about a serious topic :rolleyes:

The language I used was the exact converse of the type of thinking amongst females in the ladies which would act to oppress dedicated and responsible fathers e.g any male showing his face in the female jacks with a child is obviously some sort of evil malignant person - merely by turning up . Anyway carry on making a joke out of a real life issue which fathers like myself face all the time.

eviltwin

masculinist wrote: »

Well thanks for being mature about a serious topic :rolleyes:

The language I used was the exact converse of the type of thinking amongst females in the ladies which would act to oppress dedicated and responsible fathers e.g any male showing his face in the female jacks with a child is obviously some sort of evil malignant person - merely by turning up . Anyway carry on making a joke out of a real life issue which fathers like myself face all the time.

You need to sort out that massive chip on your shoulder.