Is it rude to demand that passengers in a car not talk when your driving?

feloganlisp

I'm 21 and started driving when I was 18. People say I am a pretty focused driver. This is because I don't have the radio on, listen to music, or talk to people ever. I was driving with some of my friends once and they said I was a bit rude for not talking to them throughout the whole journey from Dublin to Galway. But to be honest, I would rather be rude than risk being paralyzed in a car accident.

Off the road though I am a very hyper individual. I have had trouble focusing on many tasks so I would rather prefer when I'm doing something dangerous to put try to focus as best as possible.

Would you agree with me or do you think a might be rude and controlling?

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Nah, whatever. I wouldn't like to be driving with you that length though but that's neither here nor there

eet fuk

No music and no conversation for 2+ hours? Once you let me know in advance that's fine.

It's all well and good staring out the window but the midlands does tend to repeat itself after a few minutes. I would just lie across the backseat and bring a colouring book so that I don't get bored.

Insect Overlord

Dublin to Galway with no music or conversation? Jaysus. I'd have sang all the lyrics to three CDs worth of music on a trip that long!

Terrlock

If your that easily distracted or nervous from driving then I wouldn't want to get into a car at all with you.

The Backwards Man

Are you a focus driver?

armaghlad

If you can't drive and talk at the same time you shouldn't be driving.

yabadabado

Its not rude just ****ing weird .

How are you that easily distracted ?

diomed

I spy with my little eye ...
great fun for three hours.

clickhere

Your not the next James Corden , are you?

Pat Mustard

feloganlisp wrote: »

But to be honest, I would rather be rude than risk being paralyzed in a car accident.

Daddy or chips eh?

PARlance

The Backwards Man wrote: »

Are you a focus driver?

He just likes to Micra manage his passengers.

The Backwards Man

armaghlad wrote: »

If you can't drive and talk at the same time you shouldn't be driving.

Ah, but if you can't drive without talking or blasting out tunes you shouldn't be driving either.;)

Miaireland

Your car, your rules.

Shint0

Did you tell your driving test examiner to quit talking to you aswell?

Tasden

I'm new to driving so can't yet engage in conversation with my passengers yet as it distracts me too much, but I do subject them to a live performance of Beyoncé's new album while I drive, most of them would probably prefer silence :pac:
It's not rude op but it'd be awkward for them i guess.

armaghlad

Sometimes I need a bit of peace when doing a tricky manoeuvre or at a busy roundabout, junction, carpark etc... but general driving, and not feeling comfortable enough to talk... I wouldn't feel safe driving with someone like that.

FunLover18

Much like driving, being able to hold a conversation while maintaining focus takes practise. Surely when you were learning to drive you would have had your instructor talking to you and you would have been even worse at driving than you are now.

JackHeuston

I lower the volume of the radio "to see better" when I'm in tricky intersections with lots of traffic or stuff like that, but it's going to be only for a few seconds. Same if I'm talking to my passengers, I'd just stop talking for a second and wait to complete my manoeuvre.

But 2 hours without talking? It's a bit weird. Maybe you need more practice, as it sounds you're very insecure even after three years of driving.

_Kaiser_

If you can't drive on a motorway (or any road) without being able to talk or have a radio/music on then you shouldn't be driving IMO

I do a lot of driving and always have either the news or music on, or I'll be talking to someone in the car or on the handsfree kit. There's times I'll drift off mid-sentence as something catches my eye on the road (like being able to read the traffic around you so that you can tell that that eejit is about to try and pull out in front of you etc), or I'll go quiet for a minute while at a busy intersection etc.

You need to learn how to multitask, anticipate, and prioritise OP.

stoplooklisten

make sure to put the "breathe in, breathe out" tape on the radio

Icemancometh

The road to Galway is boring enough as it is. I hate driving on motorways; think I'd go mad/fall asleep if I couldn't talk to someone or listen to the radio.

Capt'n Midnight

Do you want to know what rudeness is ?

I used to insist on my passengers not talking. They reported me to the Carriage Office :eek:

Shint0

The only thing that would annoy me when driving is if an empty bottle or some such had fallen down and was rattling around the floor.

OP driving involves constantly checking for hazards and the unexpected, being able to scan the environment around you and react quickly. I think it would be better to try to learn to drive while others are talking and listening to the radio. Believe it or not it would actually make you a safer driver. I couldn't imagine not being able to drive without listening to the radio or with the music up full blast and flooring the accelerator when I get a clear stretch on the motorway.

biko

The title states that no-one can talk in the car but the OP seems to suggest it's fine to talk, just not to the driver.
Either way, when you get more experience and relax more I'm sure this will pass.

I drive a lot and always have music or conversation going on.
The only time I turn down the music is when I need to focus on finding my way in a new town or similar.

Wabbit Ears

if I have to concentrate I sometimes tell the OH to be quiet, It never goes down well!!

But really, Ive missed junctions and gone the wrong way when someone is bending my ear and Im forced into autopilot mode.

I also turn off the radio to see better when in carparks or when I'm pretty lost.

Titzon Toast

Three years driving and you can't talk or listen to music whilst doing it?
God help you if you ever have kids!

Tunage

As a driver, I am a control freak. I'm a bad passenger and I often wonder how some of my family and friends have never had an accident. However, saying that, I love a good chin wag in the car and I look forward to having company on journeys and as a musician, I need to have the radio on.

If I was your passenger, I would feel so awkward sitting on with you because of the lack of conversation. Being a focused safe driver doesn't mean that you have to be mute for every journey and expect everyone else to be mute. Why offer anyone a lift then? If you are afraid that they're going to distract you, get a motorbike then you won't have the hassle of passengers.

andekwarhola

One thing that drives me mad is that my wife loves the radio on even if she's in the car with me (or others). I just find it rude.

RobertKK

Play a racing video game with sound on, it might help as you have to concentrate and at least if you crash it is just a video game.

Maybe in the beginning when I started driving I didn't like people talking to me, but as it became a natural thing that one can do without having to put a lot of thought into, then talking was fine and it would be strange to be silent if I had a passenger(s) in the car.

Chickarooney

andekwarhola wrote: »

One thing that drives me mad is that my wife loves the radio on even if she's in the car with me (or others). I just find it rude.

You don't like listening to music with anyone else?

andekwarhola

Chickarooney wrote: »

You don't like listening to music with anyone else?

I know it's strange, I just find it rude. I'd never put it on with others in the car unless it was like, let's all listen to some tunes.

Wait a minute, are you my wife?

_Kaiser_

andekwarhola wrote: »

I know it's strange, I just find it rude. I'd never put it on with others in the car unless it was like, let's all listen to some tunes.

Wait a minute, are you my wife?

It only bugs me when they progress from listening to actively changing the channel/track themselves or adjusting the climate control settings.

Boundaries people!

fatknacker

Maybe you just need a bit more experience behind the wheel. I'm sure you're a good driver, but acquiring driving skills should make it feel like second nature, so you don't have to concentrate the entire time. It must be mentally exhausting for you after each trip.
Maybe try building up confidence by relaxing a little more. Put on some music you really enjoy at low volume to start out with.
And pull your seat back a little. If you're hunched up next to the wheel it will be near impossible to be relaxed and comfortable.

Stealthfins

Buy some Rock ballad CD to drive to and before you know it you'll be singing firestarter like Keith Flint.

failinis

I am only driving 4 years now, and I don't mind the radio on if its not deafening and I can chat to people.
But if I am looking at a junction/round a bout or trying to see which lane/turn to take then I do stop talking.

I am more distracted if a person is jumping all over the place in the car and waving arms about (any drunk friend when I am designated driver). Does my ****ing head in.

hardCopy

I forbid my passengers to sleep. Their job is to engage me in interesting conversation and keep me awake.

I usually listen to talk radio when I'm driving alone. Motorways are boring and dosing off is a very real danger.

Rubberlegs

If I'm driving alone it's more often than not in total silence. It's more to do with the need for a bit of quiet time than anything else. If someone is in the car I'll have the radio on, and chat, but I hate mindless jabbering, or anyone attempting to fidget at CDs etc. Like some other posters have said, I'll go quiet/ turn the music down if negotiating a tricky junction or in a situation where extra attention is needed.

looksee

I like to listen to 'easy' audio books - the kind that if you miss a bit it doesn't really matter - I find I automatically tune out at roundabouts or junctions, whether the story or in a conversation.

Fox_In_Socks

Sometimes, I like to post on boards.ie when I'm dri

Ah-Watch

When I used drive from North Tipp to college in Waterford I would have had a car full of lads, I did the driving, they could chat or listen to music, I concentrated on the road itself so everyone knew that there'd be little conversation from me but they listened to music among themselves and whatnot. This was before the M9 opened and since. The talking can be a help though because if the car is silent some people nod off, I would imagine music and them talking would kill the boredom and can also keep you alert to an extent too. I would not like to be in a car the whole way Dublin to Galway in silence. Its okay if you want to concentrate but if you can't take noise in the background etc then I'm sitting on the fence whether you should be driving

Maybe you need more practice driving even with the radio on down low and build from there

2RockMountain

To hell with the begrudgers, OP. Yes, it's unusual, but if that's what you need, then take it. Warn the passengers in advance, they can listen to their own music on earphones if they like, or work on their phones or whatever. If they don't fancy that, they can take the train.

Honestly, it is probably a practice / confidence thing, and if you do ever plan on having a family, it might be something that you'd like to work on. In the meantime, post 14 in the thread got it right.

I'd never be a passenger in a car where the drive can't talk. I'd rather a drunk capable driver to be honest.

Samaris

Deleted User wrote: »

I'd never be a passenger in a car where the drive can't talk. I'd rather a drunk capable driver to be honest.

I wouldn't, I'd feel a capable driver is one that knows their limits and is more concerned with getting us all there safely than helping to entertain me. If the driver wants to focus, grand, I'll shut up and entertain myself on my phone or whatever.

DeVore

talking to the driver is proven to be about the same as three pints in terms of reliability of driving. I wouldn't find it rude if you asked me not to talk to you at junctions... when its a dead straight motor way perhaps it might be considered weird but no, town-driving is tricky enough without someone yakking in your ear.

Charles Babbage

The driver should be able to chat a bit, but some passengers just do not know when to stop, demanding answers in seconds when you are going through the Mad Cow. These people are a danger.

meeeeh

hardCopy wrote: »

I usually listen to talk radio when I'm driving alone. Motorways are boring and dosing off is a very real danger.

Yes I could fall asleep on motorway or start speeding without radio. But it also depends in what condition other passengers are. If they are drunk or kids I prefer them to be quiet because sooner or later they manage to rile me up with something.

I can tune out radio fairly well so that stays on all the time when alone in the car.

mickrock

_Kaiser_ wrote: »

If you can't drive on a motorway (or any road) without being able to talk or have a radio/music on then you shouldn't be driving IMO

I do a lot of driving and always have either the news or music on, or I'll be talking to someone in the car or on the handsfree kit.

Equally, if you can't drive on a motorway (or any road) without the need for incessant noise and distraction then you shouldn't be driving IMO.

A bit of peace and quiet is very underrated.

Wibbs

DeVore wrote: »

talking to the driver is proven to be about the same as three pints in terms of reliability of driving.

Really D? :eek: Jaysus I must be some lightweight when it comes to pints then. On three pints behind the wheel I'd be a danger to shipping on the high seas, but you could yammer away to me at your hearts content and I'd be fine. If anything light conversation would keep me alert, particularly on long boring motorway driving. And TBH I'd be pretty defensive a driver, even though I've been at it officially since the mid 80's.

That might be much of it though. I'd probably have close to three quarters of a million miles under my belt now so it's pretty much reflex at this stage, or at least the average driving stuff is(though reflex brings it's own issues, complacency being the danger).

I do remember when I first started driving my concentration levels required fully engaging what passes for my brain. And the Fear was high. A busy crossroads could have me requiring wipe down seats if the radio was on. In the early days my dad directed me to the Walkinstown roundabout in south Dublin to see how I'd deal with it and upon seeing it from behind the wheel for the first time, patricide and walking home were very high on my options list.

One thing that does bork my driving brain is talking on the phone. I don't mean the illegal kind, I mean the bluetooth carphone kind. I tried it when it first came out and nope. For whatever reason and for whatever pathway in my brain it uses, I actually would be "safer" off my head on drink, or LSD. Near complete shutdown of anything but concentrating on the disembodied voice.

*EDIT* even something as normal to most like talking on the phone with either ear throws me. I have to use my right ear to phone. If I use my left ear the other person may as well be speaking in vulgate Latin. I will get the general gist of it, but I have to concentrate really bloody hard and will likely forget the details if present. I'm wired arseways mind you.

I think it's rude to demand it, but not unreasonable to ask it. Passengers can always use earphones to listen to music or radio on long journeys.

I wouldn't be keen on being your passenger if you're so easily distracted though.

jimgoose

I am the man who grabs the sun, while riding to Valhalla! Witness me, Blood-Bag. Witness!!