Seperation Anxiety

Ms2011

Anyone any experience with seperation anxiety in a one year old. I'm not just talking about when I leave the house, it can be as simple as me leaving the room & she will have a meltdown. If I go upstairs in particular she will absolutely lose it.
She has always been a clingy child, even in hospital after she was born all the other mothers on the ward could sit down to their dinner in peace but I always had to eat with one hand while cradling her with the other.
She became a bit more independent once she learned to scoot around on her bum & would happily play while I worked around her. Then 2 weeks ago I left her with my sister for the day, all seemed fine, she napped, ate, played & seemed in good form when I collected her. I felt relieved as I'm always a bit apprehensive leaving her in case she does frett.
The next day I went upstairs to hover & left her playing as usual but once she realised I was gone she sat at the bottom of the stairs & screamed. I go between thinking they are screams of temper or screams of panic I'm not sure but it's been like that ever since & by the time I come down she's litterally sobbing & in a awful state. Going to the toilet, putting clothes away upstairs, cleaning the bathroom all end up the same way with her having a meltdown & me feeling frustrated.
My son was never like this, I could leave him with anyone & he wouldn't mind.
I'm just at a loss as to how to make things better

dori_dormer

Have you the wonder weeks app? It sort of tracks developmental leaps in babies. Works for so,e and not other babies though! Basically it says that at certain stages babies learn different things, like talking, walking etc. their sleep gets disrupted and they often are extra clingy /difficult. I think there is one around a year old, 14 mths and 18mths. They can be really tough going but pass after a few weeks.
Have you thought of a carrier or sling? Then you could have her close to you on your back and still get jobs done.
My son was in my arms for most of his first year. If you meet their needs now they can become much more confident babies and toddlers when they start walkig etc. not always but that is the hope!

The Diddakoi

My children were only left unattended at that age when they were asleep in their cots.
While they were awake they were with me. If I went upstairs, they came upstairs, they followed me to the bathroom, or out to hang up the washing. I didn't get to do anything on my own for years
It never occurred to me they might be clingy.....I would have thought most 1 year olds would dislike being left alone.

LegacyUser

Ms2011 wrote: »

Anyone any experience with seperation anxiety in a one year old. I'm not just talking about when I leave the house, it can be as simple as me leaving the room & she will have a meltdown. If I go upstairs in particular she will absolutely lose it.
She has always been a clingy child, even in hospital after she was born all the other mothers on the ward could sit down to their dinner in peace but I always had to eat with one hand while cradling her with the other.

Separation Anxiety is just a term for a child feeling scared without their mother. It is perfectly normal.

Your child is an individual person. She wants to be near you, be there for her. The more you are there for her now, the more confident she will be in the future.

Forget "all the other mothers".

theLuggage

Have a look at babywearing - if you can pop her in a sling or carrier, you can go about your bits and pieces and she's with you feeling secure.

http://www.babywearingireland.ie/

There are usually local sling meets you can go to and tons of online groups on facebook that can be helpful.

Don't worry about her being overly clingy, it will lessen when she grows older. It's just she needs the comfort or reassurance of being with you or where she can see you. She's too small to verbalise yet which doesn't help and she doesn't understand where you are going or how long that will be.

My youngest is more clingy than my other two. She will cry when I leave the room. It's a phase they go through, some worse than others. I think if I'm with her as much as possible and try my best not to leave her or leave her for long, that will reassure her and she will get more confident. It's worse when she is tired, hungry or needs her nappy changed. Probably because she wants something and sees me disappearing!

Ms2011

Ironically I only sold my carrier on Sunday because I didn't think I needed it anymore :rolleyes:

I'm guessing I'll just have to ride it out & hope she grows out of it, can just be difficult when you can even go for a walk with her in her buggy without her being inconsolable because she can't see me even though I talk to her to reassure her I'm still there:(

theLuggage

Ms2011 wrote: »

Ironically I only sold my carrier on Sunday because I didn't think I needed it anymore :rolleyes:

I'm guessing I'll just have to ride it out & hope she grows out of it, can just be difficult when you can even go for a walk with her in her buggy without her being inconsolable because she can't see me even though I talk to her to reassure her I'm still there:(

Hilarious! (Although not really I know ) Don't they make fools of us all!! Honestly if I was you I'd buy a cheapie carrier. Might help you ride it out and at least you'll have the option. Wonder if you could improv something with the carseat mirrors for the buggy?

LegacyUser

The next day I went upstairs to hoover & left her playing as usual but once she realised I was gone she sat at the bottom of the stairs & screamed. I go between thinking they are screams of temper or screams of panic I'm not sure but it's been like that ever since & by the time I come down she's literally sobbing & in a awful state. Going to the toilet, putting clothes away upstairs, cleaning the bathroom all end up the same way with her having a meltdown & me feeling frustrated.

Please take a step into your daughters shoes for a moment.
The mammy she idolises was there and then when she looks around not only are you gone, but there's a horribly loud noise coming from upstairs and she can't find you for her to be consoled.
She's a baby, not a child who perhaps should know better.
Seriously, the toilet can wait to be cleaned, or else bring her with you when you do the chores.

My son was never like this

Your son is not your daughter and vice versa.
The sooner you stop comparing them the better for them both and for you also.

theLuggage

anon replying wrote: »

Please take a step into your daughters shoes for a moment.
The mammy she idolises was there and then when she looks around not only are you gone, but there's a horribly loud noise coming from upstairs and she can't find you for her to be consoled.
She's a baby, not a child who perhaps should know better.
Seriously, the toilet can wait to be cleaned, or else bring her with you when you do the chores.

Your son is not your daughter and vice versa.
The sooner you stop comparing them the better for them both and for you also.

Wow!! Judgemental much!

If you don't agree with someone or their actions there are nicer and more productive ways of saying things rather than this judgemental crap.

Maybe take your own advice and put yourself in the poster's shoes who is seeking help on a situation she is struggling with and finding difficult. She is looking for advice, help or tips. Keep the judgement out of it.

This is why I stopped posting on here so much, the "community" here can be so judgemental instead of supportive.

cyning

Op I went through this with my first... Literally couldn't pee without her holding my leg (bar the day she did crawled under a bed bringing a blanket with her and hid behind it silently for 5 minutes...). Things gradually improved: I started playing peekaboo, then behind a blanket, then literally standing at the door of the hall... As she got a bit older and started grasping the concept of playing that helped too.

Her sister was born when she was 20 months and we were in and out of hosp with her and it went backwards then for awhile, but she's almost 4 now and I wouldn't see her for a week and she would be ok... She runs around and does her own thing. So it does get better.

LegacyUser

theLuggage wrote: »

Wow!! Judgemental much!

If you don't agree with someone or their actions there are nicer and more productive ways of saying things rather than this judgemental crap.

Maybe take your own advice and put yourself in the poster's shoes who is seeking help on a situation she is struggling with and finding difficult. She is looking for advice, help or tips. Keep the judgement out of it.

This is why I stopped posting on here so much, the "community" here can be so judgemental instead of supportive.

How was the post "judgemental crap". It is good advice.

Your post, on the other hand, offers no advice, just insults.

Neyite

Mod:

Luggage, Doc McStuffins, Anon, calm down and stop fighting among yourselves. Contribute in a civil and respectful way to the thread please.

Any anon posting that falls short of this standard simply wont be approved by mods. Anon posting hides your identity from other posters, but not from Admins or Boards staff. Worth keeping in mind...;)

Ms2011

anon replying wrote: »

Please take a step into your daughters shoes for a moment.
The mammy she idolises was there and then when she looks around not only are you gone, but there's a horribly loud noise coming from upstairs and she can't find you for her to be consoled.
She's a baby, not a child who perhaps should know better.
Seriously, the toilet can wait to be cleaned, or else bring her with you when you do the chores.

Your son is not your daughter and vice versa.
The sooner you stop comparing them the better for them both and for you also.

Firstly my daughter is 13 months old, the hover is not a new experience to her, she's heard it almost everyday of her life & has never had a bad reaction to it, the opposite in fact. Besides which the hoover is not the issue it's the fact that I'm upstairs & she can't get see or be in physical contact with me & how she reacts to that.
Of course chores can be put off to a point but they HAVE to be done at some stage. When it comes to the likes of cleaning the bathroom not only do I not like to have her near the chemicals but also our bathroom isn't very big so there just isn't the room.

Also I am well aware that my daughter is not my son, the mention of my son was just to show how inexperienced I was with daughter's behaviour.

Ms2011

Thank you for the replies, I think the poster who mentioned it being a development leap could have hit the nail on the head. I'm seeing a bit of an improvement in her over the weekend. She is still very attached but to be honest I think that's just her personality, it was the sudden over the top reactions to situations that would never normally have bothered her that worried me.

ETA just hoover upstairs, whimpered slightly when she realised I was upstairs but then went back to playing

theLuggage

Neyite wrote: »

Mod:

Luggage, Doc McStuffins, Anon, calm down and stop fighting among yourselves. Contribute in a civil and respectful way to the thread please.

Any anon posting that falls short of this standard simply wont be approved by mods. Anon posting hides your identity from other posters, but not from Admins or Boards staff. Worth keeping in mind...;)

Yes Neyite, sorry! I should've taken my own advice and phrased my answer better. I just got too wound up there. I do prefer a supportive stance in these forums and negative comments just get my goat at times. Sorry