Bedtime help with 6 month old

lola85

Hi everyone,

I really need some advice as it seems night time is getting worse for us! My little girl is six months and has been more or less sleeping through since about 3 months. Getting her to sleep has always been a challenge but it's just getting worse each night and it can take up to 4 hours each night!

She always did and still does only fall asleep with her bottle in her mouth and white noise, specifically hair dryer app playing loud. I want to get out of the habit of feeding to sleep but at moment even this isn't working. I bring her up at 8 when she is getting tired and she'll fall asleep on me having her bottle but once I put her down she'll wake and only the bottle will settle her. I have tried leaving her down sleepy but within a minute or two she is so upset and gets in a right state. She'll end up getting sick if I don't try settle her with her bottle again. It can then take hours of this to get her down. Has anyone any advice? I can't let her cry it out as I can see she gets in too much of a state but not sure what I can try as nothing seems to work!

LegacyUser

Cold turkey, would be my advice, i'm afraid...start a routine of a bath (if you want), bottle, book, bed.Give her a special teddy or comfort-maybe a soother if you're happy to?She's essentially using the bottle as a soother anyway, so it might ease the transition.Then be prepared to sit either in the room or on your landing for a few nights, going into her every five to ten mins and telling her it's sleepy time, or something to that effect, soothing her til she's calmer.If she gets sick, just take her out and clean her up, don't say too much one way or the other,then back into bed.

The trick is actually in your behaviour and how you respond, not in her behaviour.She doesn't know any other way to get to sleep, so you have to gently teach her.She won't change until she realises your behaviour has changed.You have to be consistent and firm in your response to her.Give it a good week or two doing the same thing over and over.Hopefully she'll get he message quicker.

lola85

swooshty8900 wrote: »

Cold turkey, would be my advice, i'm afraid...start a routine of a bath (if you want), bottle, book, bed.Give her a special teddy or comfort-maybe a soother if you're happy to?She's essentially using the bottle as a soother anyway, so it might ease the transition.Then be prepared to sit either in the room or on your landing for a few nights, going into her every five to ten mins and telling her it's sleepy time, or something to that effect, soothing her til she's calmer.If she gets sick, just take her out and clean her up, don't say too much one way or the other,then back into bed.

The trick is actually in your behaviour and how you respond, not in her behaviour.She doesn't know any other way to get to sleep, so you have to gently teach her.She won't change until she realises your behaviour has changed.You have to be consistent and firm in your response to her.Give it a good week or two doing the same thing over and over.Hopefully she'll get he message quicker.

Thanks for the reply, was afraid cold turkey is the only way forward! Looks like we're in for a hard few weeks but hopefully it'll be worth it if it helps her settle easier and get to bed earlier as I know she needs it! Do you think it matters who is going in and settling her? As in does it always need to be Me for consistency or can both parents take turns? Don't want to confuse her more but afraid I'll crack if trying to do it by myself for a few weeks!

January

Both parents can take turns. In fact that will be good in the long run because she'll settle for you both.

Look up the No Cry Sleep Solution. I personally don't believe in crying it out too young but once they got to around 18 months and were still not sleeping through I used it and worked within 3 days on most. (I've one stubborn boy who is two and still not sleeping through but I've long since given up on letting him cry it out)

moving_home

I personally don't believe in letting such a young baby cry it out either. I still hold my 16month old until she falls asleep and then transfer her to cot so feel free to discount what I say. I changed our bedtime routine around 9 months as I wanted to brush teeth after bottle. At 6 months the fighting sleep is developmental and a phase. She will probably start trying to sit up/crawl or whatever the next step is.

My advice is this get a rock solid bedtime routine. No TV for at least an hour before bed even if it appears ages not watching it. Give bottle downstairs and then do bedtime routine whether it be bath, story etc. Have a phrase to signal it's bedtime and let that be the last thing you said. Hopefully she will realise it's sleeping rime after a few days of same routine.

Could she be overtired? It's impossible to settle my little one when overtired. Maybe try putting her down earlier?

lola85

Thanks for the replies, really appreciate it. I'm not really comfortable with letting her cry it out this young either. My problem is the bottle. I've no problem holding her or rocking her to sleep but she freaks out if the bottle isn't in her mouth and won't fall asleep without it. So if I try to change this in any way she will cry big time.

Maybe she is over tired, I'll definitely try bring her bed time forward but anytime I've done that it's just added an hour onto bedtime as she still won't go down for hours. She'll fall asleep drinking the bottle but wake when put down or just after and only the bottle will do! Naps are the same, will only fall asleep with bottle in and I take it out then. She's our first little one and didn't realise what a bad habit we were creating, we were just happy she was sleeping!

dori_dormer

If she likes the bottle in her mouth could the issue be teething? Chewing / sucking would tend to alleviate the pain of teething? They can teethe for ages before they cut. Some teetha gel could help.

Also if you are transferring her from your arms, make sure the cot isn't cold. A hot water bottle removed a few minutes before you put her down could remove the shock of warm body to cold cot.

My sisters boy is 14months now and still the only way she can get him to sleep is pop him in the cot and he drifts off drinking the bottle.

Agree with leaps and development too, they are a killer! Not looking forward to those long nights again!

jlm29

Aee you using blankets or a sleeping bag? I find that it's easier to move my boy once he's asleep since I started putting him into a grobag. He doesn't notice he's being put into his cot because he's being kept at the same temperature.
Unfortunately, he still doesn't sleep during the day, but it's definitely helped us to get more wear out of the cot!

pwurple

Oh cripes, her poor teeth.

Can you start teeth brushing after the bottle, and then give her something else for comfort. Blanket, soother, a soft toy?

I think remove the bottle alright, and stick it out for a few nights without it. She may take longer to go to sleep, but she is not going to stay awake forever.

Don't do cry it out, it's cruel. Comfort her, but just with something else.

ShiddyArze

Our 18 month old has to be rocked to sleep every night, everyone said it was a bad idea and a bad habit but it makes life much easier, we were like yourself, 3 or 4 hours every night, now its 3 or 4 minutes..

Keane2baMused

ShiddyArze wrote: »

Our 18 month old has to be rocked to sleep every night, everyone said it was a bad idea and a bad habit but it makes life much easier, we were like yourself, 3 or 4 hours every night, now its 3 or 4 minutes..

Does your little one stay asleep?

Our 11 month old will go off asleep but wakes every hour or so crying.

I curse soothers now while they were great before hand

SmoothyG

Hi, Just wandering if you use a soother? This seems the obvious answer to me. We used a soother on our (now) 17 month old and have successfully taken it off her now except for when its bedtime. Consistency and routine has been our moto.

Regarding the room layouts also: We only moved our lil one from the bedroom to her room at 6 months. We had to spend many nights sitting beside the cot until she got used to it. Again, unwavering adherence to timing and routine made it work. We would only pick her up out of the cot if she was really upset and even then only for a few mins until the stress subsided. the focus being on getting her used to being in the cot but not allowing her to feel alone.

Tis hard work Mummy, hang in there the next phase is coming...:eek:

lola85

Thanks for all the suggestions everyone. She doesn't have any teeth yet but is definitely teething so maybe more gel before bed will help. Also want to get rid of the bottle reliance before her teeth come so can get good routine of brushing teeth after the last bottle.

She sleeps in a sleeping bag in her own room. She won't take a soother at all, I've tried lots of brands, she was given one in neo natal when she was born but once she came home hated the thing. She has a comforter which she sleeps with but again only happy rubbing this against her face while drinking her bottle.

So I didn't start trying to take it off her last night as still building myself up to it.last night she fell asleep to white noise drinking her bottle in her pram at 8pm. Once she closed her eyes i took the bottle away obviously. I carried her up at ten and put her straight into her sleeping bag in her cot while she was starting to get upset and gave her bottle for about 30 seconds and she was back in a deep sleep and slept till 8 this morning. I've tried bottles of water instead and she'll drink it but Will wake right up. So I think cold turkey from the bottle and just trying to comfort her till she falls asleep will the only way. I reckon she'll put up a proper fight as she has done anytime I've attempted it so far!

jlm29

lola85 wrote: »

Thanks for all the suggestions everyone. She doesn't have any teeth yet but is definitely teething so maybe more gel before bed will help. Also want to get rid of the bottle reliance before her teeth come so can get good routine of brushing teeth after the last bottle.

She sleeps in a sleeping bag in her own room. She won't take a soother at all, I've tried lots of brands, she was given one in neo natal when she was born but once she came home hated the thing. She has a comforter which she sleeps with but again only happy rubbing this against her face while drinking her bottle.

So I didn't start trying to take it off her last night as still building myself up to it.last night she fell asleep to white noise drinking her bottle in her pram at 8pm. Once she closed her eyes i took the bottle away obviously. I carried her up at ten and put her straight into her sleeping bag in her cot while she was starting to get upset and gave her bottle for about 30 seconds and she was back in a deep sleep and slept till 8 this morning. I've tried bottles of water instead and she'll drink it but Will wake right up. So I think cold turkey from the bottle and just trying to comfort her till she falls asleep will the only way. I reckon she'll put up a proper fight as she has done anytime I've attempted it so far!

Would you try putting her In the sleeping bag before the bottle?

Dobbit

We did controlled crying with our son and it worked a treat for us. We put him down wide awake and he plays for a bit before drifting off on his own. I would have found cold turkey very hard so it was a happy medium for us, it took maybe a week but he does have a dummy so we'll have to cross that bridge at some point.

seamus

You will find what works for you. We found a routine whereby we sat in a chair in the room, gave her a bottle and read her a story, then night-night, rocked her off to sleep in our arms, let her get properly settled then transferred her to her own bed.

Sounds like a lot of effort, but in reality the bottle and the story took five minutes and then you take your own book out and read it while she's falling asleep and the other parent makes dinner. Then you come out, dinner is made and you've had 30 minutes to read your book. Absolute bliss now thinking back on it.

In terms of the crying stuff, from around 11 months we had the five minute rule. Once we knew she wasn't hungry or in need of a nappy change, then she was likely calling out just for attention. Set a timer for five minutes. If she's still making noise after five minutes, something is actually wrong and you need to go in - could be teething, or whatever. 99% of the time, she'd be gone quiet after 2 minutes.

This rule still works for us now and she's 3.5.

As others say, consistency and routine is key. Do the same thing every night. Kids are great in that they only take 3/4 days to start settling into a routine. Those couple of days can be hell.

Jen44

i know you said you tried a lot of soothers but was wondering if you tried the cherry bottom soothers they are a very similar teat to a bottle

genie_us

I'm with Seamus I actually enjoy the few minutes of waiting for him to fall asleep in my arms before we do the transfer!

We had issues with him settling to sleep on his own from the start which I put down to colic when he was born. Naps were always on me and even now he still naps in my arms - he's 18 months. At the childminder he might nap in the cot for 20 min or so but it's on and off. The routine at night now is bringing to his room about 10 to 7, getting him dressed for bed, little snuggle and a drink of water, rock him to sleep, then transfer.

Anyway the best thing I did at 6 months when we hit a bump in the sleeping road was move his bedtime back an hour. It was 8pm and I moved him back to 7pm. Worked a treat. Turns out he was overtired.

Best of luck!