Separating Father

Vortex15

Hi all,
Thank you for taking the time to read this in advance, I finally came to the decision to separate from my wife last November we have three boys a 10, 8, 6. Mainly due to how she was mis treating the children, mainly the eldest. Cutting a long story short we separated and I moved into my home place with the three children who stay with me six nights of the week, my ex put the long term tenants out of our mortgaged house and moved in (due to struggling with mortgage repayments we rented this house for the last six years) She had been offered a cheaper house very close to where we live to rent.We had been doing mediation and this was very stressful as she was being very difficult to talk to. Work for me has been very unstable since Christmas ( to date I couldn't pay myself for 10 weeks) when I had an income I had been paying her 150 per week, when I had no income I couldn't pay anything, ultimately she brought me to the district court for a maintenance order, she lied about some of her expenses, claiming she was paying for even though I had receipts to prove I paid them. She has herself in a lot of personnel debt and her past has shown she is very bad with money. I had always paid toward the Kids, I paid fully for rugby, swimming, birthdays, Christmas etc (we haven't gone on holidays) and we shared clothing shoes etc. Nothing I said seemed to matter in court, in fact when i said i had the proof with me the judge didn't even raise his eyes from the bench.
Anyway the judge awarded 200.00 weekly to the ex,( she had a barrister) none of this will the children benefit from, as she is spending money on new furniture and talking of buying a new car etc (the house is already furnished) and since the court date she has worked overtime on the only night she has the children. The kids don't like going into her because of how she treats them a lot of the time and i won't force them. I do all the dropping and collecting. My problem is that the mortgage is on a moratorium, (100.00 per month) the bank want to sign a split mortgage which will bring the repayments to 650.00 per month and she was still in deficit due to her personnel debt on the 100 moratorium with the 200.00 weekly payments. She is taking home around 750.00 weekly between her wage, children allowance and maintenance. My take home is 600.00 weekly minus the 200.00 maintenance (net 400.00)
I don't know what to do, I know she is going to come back after me again for more money my solicitor is telling me an appeal will cost up to 15K which i can't afford, she is not someone you can sit down and talk amicably. Im sorry its long I'm trying to give a brief description but any advise or anyone in similar situations i would be very glad to hear from you, again thank you for taking the time to read

Conall Cernach

I know that it can be difficult for a father to get child benefit but surely that is something you should look at for starters.

from Citizens Information http://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/social_welfare/social_welfare_payments/social_welfare_payments_to_families_and_children/child_benefit.html

You must notify the Department of Social Protection (DSP) in writing of any changes in circumstances which may affect your Child Benefit claim. Changes which may affect your claim include:
•Change of address
•Child is no longer with you or in your care

Stheno

If the children are with you six out of seven days then have you applied for child maintenance?

You've essentially two options, go back to mediation or appeal.

Vortex15

No I haven't applied for child maintenance, the ex has them for 2.5 hours of each day before I collect them on the way home from work and the judge deemed that she is providing for them more

Dial Hard

Did you have a solicitor with you in court or were you representing yourself?

Vortex15

No I had a solicitor, I feel I wasn't represented very well as I had a lot of back up documentation but my ex had a barrister and a good one at that.

Stheno

Vortex15 wrote: »

No I had a solicitor, I feel I wasn't represented very well as I had a lot of back up documentation but my ex had a barrister and a good one at that.

Are you in the district/circuit court?

I'd be inclined to look for another solicitor if I were you

Vortex15

The case was heard in the district court but to appeal it will be in the circuit, I am in the process of getting another solicitor but I'm very wary of the expense of going to the circuit court with a very real possibility of coming out in a worse position, even though I explained my position and offered my backup documentation the judge didn't seem interested to know about it, she went into court with an statement of means and one payslip and it was all taken as gospel.

LegacyUser

Your solicitor is doing you no favours. yes you should have an entitlement to the Child Benefit and should appeal that to the DSP first and then through the court. Have you got the Single Person Child Carer Tax Credit? Or does she have that too? and you have an entitlement to Family Income Supplement aswell if she's not claiming it.
Fact is your solicitor should have told you all this and if the children are staying with you 6 nights a week it's baffling at how youre paying maintenence to that extent if she earns more. Apply for legal aid - you'll qualify with that income and let her take you to court to enforce full maintenance Pay what you can to show compliance. You might get grounds to have maintenance reduced if you have someone half decent representing you.

Vortex15

Hi Kate,
I'm very sorry iv only seen this post now, very much appreciate your advice, thankyou