February 2017 Babies Club

catrionanic

Another terrible night over here - he was awake every 45-90 mins on average. I feel like death! Am working sat, sun, mon and will be a danger to the public at this rate!

greenttc

Ah tango I must have missed you saying you wer e back in work, is it awful being back or a small bit of relief, think I will be teary even though I am looking forward to the "freedom" a small bit.

Caotriona, would it be worth considering a sleep consultant at all? I have heard good things about them.

catrionanic

Ooh I hadn’t thought about a sleep consultant! I’m gonna look into that!

greenttc

The only sleep consultant i really know about is lucy woulfe cause i read her book and have heard her on the radio lots, she is in cork though not sure if she travels or if she costs a fortune! I reckon you would pay a million euro for slme good sleep right now though!!!

tangobelle2010

greenttc wrote:

Ah tango I must have missed you saying you wer e back in work, is it awful being back or a small bit of relief, think I will be teary even though I am looking forward to the "freedom" a small bit.

I was more teary with this one more than other two because I've no intention of having any more so its kinda like an end of an era if that makes sense! And I'll be working now until I retire...unless I win the euromillions tonight!

tangobelle2010

greenttc wrote:

Caotriona, would it be worth considering a sleep consultant at all? I have heard good things about them.

That's a great idea...can't do any harm for you and baba anyway. I've heard loads of people had success that way.

greenttc

tangobelle2010 wrote: »

I was more teary with this one more than other two because I've no intention of having any more so its kinda like an end of an era if that makes sense! And I'll be working now until I retire...unless I win the euromillions tonight!

I totAlly get the end of an era thing, i keep thinking, HOPING, that i get one more maternity leave and then like you i will be working till i am 65, thirty years with no break, jeeeeeees!!!! I always had in my head that at some stage thre would be maternity leave to look forward to but once that is gone there is no chance of a break form the drudgery of work! Wish i had a job that i really loved and was looking forward to! Ah well, i am lucky in other ways!

catrionanic

Thankfully we have been able to make the sums work for me to only go back part-time (working weekends and Mondays, and that way we are avoiding expensive childcare bills). I have serious respect for those who go back fulltime and honestly don’t know how they do it - there just aren’t enough hours in the day!

fits

I'm getting to the stage now where I feel I should be thinking about working outside of the home again. But I don't even have time to look for a job! My priorities have definitely changed

smaoifs

catrionanic wrote:

Ooh I hadn’t thought about a sleep consultant! I’m gonna look into that!

On Facebook there's a page called Mum's the Word. There was someone on there last week or the week before looking for names of sleep consultants. Might be worth joining that page, if you're not on Facebook I'll see can I find the question again and copy any recommendations here for you.

catrionanic

Ah fits, so you feel like you’d like to go back to working again, or is it more a case of paying the bills? Personally, I think you’re mental if you actually want to! Getting out of the house in time is always crazy and I’m always running late, nomatter how early I get up! Although maybe if work was less stressful and I was spending my 30 min lunch break eating rather than pumping, I’d be looking forward to it!

How is twin two doing?

Ooh I’ll have a look at that fb group smaoifs, thanks! I posted on my local cuidiú group about it and got a few recommendations, but it would seem that some BF mums don’t think it’s a great idea....

Ironically (and thankfully!), he slept 8-7 last night with just one wake up, and went back down really easily that time. Best night for weeks! But I’m sure tonight will be just as awful again.... he’s keeping us on our toes!

fits

I'm with the other bf mums. I think your little one is getting there on his own and you will have good and terrible nights. But hopefully more good as time goes on. I think nearly all sleep consultants do some version of cio.

Me and twin 2 have colds and had a terrible night. I've a powerful headache today too. Glad my husband is home.

greenttc

Wonder why its bf mums that are against it and not other mums?

I have to say I disagree with saying all consultants use a form of cio. I will eventually stop talking about her but lucy Wolfe uses a method called stay and support, you dont leave your baby alone. I think what they would do though is more assess how much sleep the baby currently gets,when they sleep, the sleep environment and sleep associations etc not just the act of getting them to sleep if you know what I mean. I watch this girl in the uk on you tube who has a baby a few months older than our babies and she seemed to be given a timetable to stick to for a while and different things like saying at least one nap must be in the cot and the baby was given a knotted muslin cloth as a sleep aid... little things like that, she didnt go into much detail but you could see the changes as she went about her day. Her baby seems to ge a great sleeper now. The only thing is they still seem to be very conscious of doing certain things to ensure she sleeps, like they still seem to loosely follow a timetable very consciously but I suppose we all do if we thought about it.

Anyway, caitriona, only you know what your family needs and your instincts would tell you if your baby could do with some assistance or not. You just seem so desperate for a good nights sleep. So glad you got one last night!!!!

greenttc

fits wrote: »

Me and twin 2 have colds and had a terrible night. I've a powerful headache today too. Glad my husband is home.

Nothing worse than having a headache and minding a sick baby!

smaoifs

greenttc wrote:

Anyway, caitriona, only you know what your family needs and your instincts would tell you if your baby could do with some assistance or not. You just seem so desperate for a good nights sleep. So glad you got one last night!!!!

Agreed, this seems to have been going on since before the summer so definitely seems longer than a phase or associated with a leap. Do what's needed for you and your family.

catrionanic

I think there’s a worry that enforcing night weaning before a year is detrimental to both baby’s health and your supply, when baba is breastfed. Although I’m not aiming for night-weaning, just more of a schedule and it being easier to resettle him. Also am not a fan of CIO.

Although when I do that stay and reassure/shush and pat, he roars and roars until I eventually pick him up. If I sit with him crying while I pat him for 10 mins, is that still CIO?

Anne_cordelia

I think BF moms are more likely to practice attachment or gentle parenting hence being against CIO. Usually BF moms believe that night waking is completely normal for babies and not something to be fixed as the baby will get there in their own time.

Lucy Wolfe uses CIO if her gentler methods don’t work. That’s a fact. Sleep consultancy is a completely unregulated market and only there to take money from vulnerable, sleep deprived parents who society are telling that their babies should be sleeping.

fits

"catrionanic wrote:

Although when I do that stay and reassure/shush and pat, he roars and roars until I eventually pick him up. If I sit with him crying while I pat him for 10 mins, is that still CIO?

I think it is although not as severe. I dunno. I always try to imagine myself in babies position where you really need a cuddle and reassurance and your parents refuse to give you what you really need. We don't always know why a baby needs attention in the middle of the night. But I think it's the most natural thing in the world to cuddle and hold them. I can remember not being allowed into my parents room at night ( when I was four ish) and lying in my little box room terrified and upset. I don't want my own children to go through that.

Of course I have left babies to cry a bit in car seats so maybe that's not much different from cio at times.

That's my perspective though. This time last year I wasnt even too hung up about breastfeeding and planned on moving the babies into their own room at six months.

deh983

I’ve been considering cosleeping just to get some much needed sleep.
I know some of ye do this so have a question or two.
Do ye just let the babies lie beside you or do you hold them in your arms? I bring the boss in with me around 6/7 & she sleeps until around 8 but gets uncomfortable in the same position after a while. What about pillows heavier duvets etc!?!

fits

I breastfeed and co sleep. And there are two so when I'm feeding them together they are in my arms propped up by pillows and then I let them down beside me with their heads at breast height. They are dressed in light sleeping bags and I have bed covers coming up to my hips. I wear a long sleeved top.
This link might be useful

http://www.llli.org/docs/00000000000001_BT_PDF/bt-4-2014-25.pdf

catrionanic

I was just gonna link you to safe cosleeping guidelines deh, but I think fits has just done that.

As far as I know, it’s only recommended if BFing (although I know that many non-BF mamas do it too). No bed covers or pillows near the baby, careful control of room temperature, no smoking or alcohol consumption by either parent, and baby on mums side of the bed rather than between mum and dad. There are a few others too.

We co-sleep occasionally, with husband in the spare room, and it’s usually when I’m really desperate!!! It can be handy with BF as sometimes mum can doze off too during a feed. I don’t really like it though because I find that I’m so conscious of him in the bed that I can’t really sleep anyway. And I don’t think he sleeps any better either.

We do have the occasional co-sleep nap together.

tangobelle2010

I coslept with my oldest from when he was about a year. He was a terrible sleeper, day and night, and this was only way for both of us to get some sleep. I honestly loved it and I do believe it really bonded our relationship. Only problem was, he was 10 before he would finally sleep on his own! I tried crying it out with him as a baby but he got so upset the first night that he ended up getting sick in his cot so I didn't try it any more. However, I know some people for whom it worked positively. And others who used sleep consultants and that did the trick for their unsettled babies.

deh983

I was only thinking of other options as like catrionaic I don’t sleep very well when she’s in with me. Touch wood the last few nights have been grand and I’ve left her a bit longer each morning before taking her in. I’m trying to get things sorted for when I’m back to work even though I know it’s probably pointless!!
Still trying to get out a bit more with not much success. The fear of a whingy overtired baby for the whole evening if she doesn’t have a solid afternoon nap is what stops me.
I think I overthink things way too much

fits

catrionanic wrote: »

As far as I know, it’s only recommended if BFing (although I know that many non-BF mamas do it too).
.

That's only up to four months Catrionanic. After that they say it's safe enough for any responsible adult to co sleep.

It's funny. The only sleep I got for my five nights in hospital was when I took them out of the bassinets and inwith me. I was never able to fully relax when they weren't close. Once we got home they slept in cribs in our living room for the first ten weeks or so. Then we tried to move them to cot in our bedroom and it was an abject failure. Then babies moved in to my bed and husband moved out and then I started getting some sleep. I have preferred having them with me from the start and just wish I'd followed my instincts sooner. I like being able to check on them throughout the night. Everything got much easier when we started co sleeping. Husband gets great sleep.

greenttc

I had a co sleeper cot thing and baby slept beside me in that till he moved into his own room. When I was bfing it was brilliant and like others said sometimes I fell asleep feeding him(of course I had moved him into the bed beside me for that). But I always had my arm sticking out so that his head was practically in my armpit if you can picture that, I was happy that I couldn't roll onto him if I really slept deeply. I just found it uncomfortable to go whole nights I was too scared of squashing him! Sometimes I still wake up hugging my duvet thinking it is him and I panic wondering where he is and is he okay!!

I am sure it would be easier to co sleep now than it was when they were tiny but they are so wiggly now I would be scared of them rolling under me or something! Wonder would a sleepyhead be useful to prevent that or are all the recennt bad news stories about them too scary to try?

greenttc

Is anyone trying for another baby? We have started, tis not easy!

tangobelle2010

greenttc wrote:

Is anyone trying for another baby? We have started, tis not easy!

Wow! Good luck! My babies are 22 months apart and though it can be tough and very busy at times, its just lovely to see them interact and hopefully start playing with each other in the coming months.

greenttc

tangobelle2010 wrote: »

Wow! Good luck! My babies are 22 months apart and though it can be tough and very busy at times, its just lovely to see them interact and hopefully start playing with each other in the coming months.

Well if I get pregnant somewhere in the next four months i will be the same as you then! Would love to have two close in age!

Took a while to get pregnant before though so worried about this time. I was recording my temperature before and that worked well before but it is impossible to do now!!! I am a bit lost and feel like we are winging it, ugh!

catrionanic

Omg green, you’re trying again?? Good luck! Personally I think you’re totally mental, but good luck to ya!

I can think of nothing worse than another pregnancy right now. I really struggled with my first pregnancy, and I’m too damn tired to go through that again! I haven’t got my periods back yet anyway, and we only have sex when Jupiter aligns with Venus and the cow jumps over the moon, so no worries on that front.

deh983

greenttc wrote: »

Is anyone trying for another baby? We have started, tis not easy!

Hell to the no. Not a chance. Never again.

Fair play to you & best of luck with it all