If you were in charge, what rules would you make?

shaunr68

1. Misuse of the possessive apostrophe to be punishable by Viking "blood eagle" execution.

2. Talking on the phone on public transport will result in phone being confiscated, thrown out of the window, and the offender defenestrated.

3. Parking Stasi armed with tape measures and pointy sticks to puncture any tyre which encroaches onto another parking space.

4. Flaying alive of those who park right outside a supermarket door rather than a marked bay on the car park like everybody else.

5. Blocking the aise with a loaded shopping trolley will result in imprisonment in the upturned trolley for one week, or until payment of a fine of one Euro (2 Euros in Aldi).

6. Cat lovers to be minced and fed to their cats.

quickbeam

Enda & Co don't seem so bad after some of the suggestions on here.

branie2

Ban boarding schools for kids aged 13 and under

Dempsey

Anyone that recieves 6 penalty points or more should have to sit their driving test again
Motor Tax should be abolished and replaced with a levy on fuel

Annual Purge where the public are allowed to hunt politicans and high ranking public servants

dark crystal

shaunr68 wrote: »

6. Cat lovers to be minced and fed to their cats.

Why you do dis to me Dimi?

What did the cute kitties ever do to you, eh? EH?

You do realise that if you fed cats whole humans, they'd soon grow to be the size of dinosaurs and take over the world.....

HornyDevil

Deedsie wrote: »

I would shut down the two Dáil bars in Leinster house. National embarrassment for a country with such a terrible reputation of alcohol abuse for our political representatives to be discussing legislation etc while intoxicated.

You really want to improve mental health and suicide statistics. Address the binge drinking culture that has been engineered over the last forty years. It might improve some societal and antisocial behavioural issues too.

Cheers. *hic*

JupiterKid

Close Europe's borders to immigrants and so-called refugees immediately. This flood of immigration is simply destroying Europe.

TeaBagMania

Agreed, withdraw from the EU and ban all muslims

It s too late for Germany, France, and the US but Ireland might still have a chance

Wonzy

Elect Donald Trump - Make Ireland great again.

NegativeCreep

I'd ban cycling for anyone over the age of 10. You shouldn't be allowed use your toy on the roads, especially if you're an idiot.

Also, build a metro under Dublin that would also link up with a tunnel over to the UK. And a proper public transport system country-wide with super fast trains and regular buses.

riclad

People who do a crime like burglary, robbing cars ,robbing phones .
have to pay a fine ,at least 1000 euro to
be given to a childrens charity or their victims .
parking to be free in citys ,towns on sunday, 9am -midnight.
All schools to accept 30 per cent non catholics applicants
if they are non private schools .
50 cent tax on all soft drinks over 500ml.
The seanad to be closed down
its just a talking shop to give ex tds pensions and high wages ,for doing
something meaningless .
It has no power or influence on anyone.
Anyone with 3 people in a car can drive in the bus lane 7am to 7pm.
I see no point to veganism but they are doing no harm to anyone .
Irish to be made an optional subject at secondary school .

Oymyakon

NegativeCreep wrote: »

I'd ban cycling for anyone over the age of 10. You shouldn't be allowed use your toy on the roads, especially if you're an idiot.

An idiot in a car is infinitely more dangerous than an idiot on a bicycle.

rubadub

NegativeCreep wrote: »

I'd ban cycling for anyone over the age of 10. You shouldn't be allowed use your toy on the roads, especially if you're an idiot.

Why would you let under 10's cycle? you realise they are legally obliged to cycle on the road, some think there is a age limit but there is none in this country.

Sam Kade

Dial Hard wrote: »

Great idea, seeing as women are generally expected to shave too.

Anyway, I've a list as long as my arm of rules coming in after I stage my benevolent coup.

1. People who take more than 45 seconds to use an ATM are going in the gulag.

2. Likewise people who take more than a second to move off at a green light.

3. Likewise people who can't use the Walkinstown roundabout properly.

4. Umbrellas will be banned everywhere except the golf course.

5. Opaque black tights will be outlawed between the May bank holiday weekend and October 1st.

6. Statutory "Sunny Day Leave" to be brought in.

I've loads more.

Here's mine:
Impatient phuckers should be banned to the back of the queue every time they complain, they will very quickly realise patience is a virtue

Foxhound38

Double the water charges and extend good friday to the whole weekend - just to watch the world burn

Wossack

Allow motorists to turn left though red lights
Remove motor tax, replace with fuel levy
Any restaurant serving 'cook a steak on a hot stone', will have said stone force fed to the head chef
Bring back chopping hands off for theft
Due to overcrowding in our prison system, a Battle Royale system will be implemented
Incentivise workplace calisthenics

Winterlong

Free ice-cream/gelato for everyone.
(Vote for me)

riclad

Make cannabis legal over the age of 18 and set up cannabis shops ,
as in america its taxed in certain states .
cannabis to be legal at least for medical use ,
its a very effective painkiller with no side effects .

stoplooklisten

I'd ban footpaths and cars, if you don't cycle, you can stay at home!

pragmatic1

Jail would be reserved exclusively for violent crimes. Victims of non-violent crimes would be compensated by the offender monetarily and through additional means.

Less restrictive laws on abortion, legalise euthanasia and all drugs.

School curriculum would include modules on problem solving, critical thinking, creativity and debating.

Irish taught in schools would be focused almost entirely on students ability to actually speak their native tongues.

Tax incentives for companies to hire new graduates.

Financial support by the state to encourage entrepreneurship and a safety net for people starting their own business.

Encouragement for building high rises in our cities.

4 day working week.

Wanderer78

riclad wrote:

Make cannabis legal over the age of 18 and set up cannabis shops , as in america its taxed in certain states . cannabis to be legal at least for medical use , its a very effective painkiller with no side effects .

Just legalise everything and be done with it. Waste of time and money fighting drugs

Liamario

uch wrote: »

Mine would be Smoking Everywhere

How about- only U16s are allowed to smoke and they are required to smoke daily. Anyone smoking after that age is executed.

NegativeCreep

rubadub wrote: »

Why would you let under 10's cycle? you realise they are legally obliged to cycle on the road, some think there is a age limit but there is none in this country.

Because bikes are toys and children should be allowed play with them in green areas and the like. I'd ban bikes as a mode of transport.

maudgonner

I'd reclassify tomatoes as vegetables.

I don't care where the seeds grow, or what botanists say, tomatoes are vegetables. They just are.

Oymyakon

NegativeCreep wrote: »

I'd ban bikes as a mode of transport.

I'd like to know why, it's an extremely more efficient mode of transport than a car.

NegativeCreep

Oymyakon wrote: »

I'd like to know why, it's an extremely more efficient mode of transport than a car.

Because they're annoying and dangerous. Especially in Dublin. Weaving in and out of traffic, going through red lights and moving from path to road when it suits them. I've nearly been mown down by cyclists more times than I can count at this stage!

Edit: but anyway this thread isn't about cyclists so that's the last I'll say on the issue

rawn

pragmatic1 wrote:

Jail would be reserved exclusively for violent crimes. Victims of non-violent crimes would be compensated by the offender monetarily and through additional means.

Cool, so rich people never have to go to jail.

rawn

NegativeCreep wrote:

Because they're annoying and dangerous. Especially in Dublin. Weaving in and out of traffic, going through red lights and moving from path to road when it suits them. I've nearly been mown down by cyclists more times than I can count at this stage!

You're talking about bad cyclists. It would be more pertinent to introduce a cycling license.

Oymyakon

NegativeCreep wrote: »

Because they're annoying and dangerous. Especially in Dublin. Weaving in and out of traffic, going through red lights and moving from path to road when it suits them. I've nearly been mown down by cyclists more times than I can count at this stage!

Edit: but anyway this thread isn't about cyclists so that's the last I'll say on the issue

Related to what another person said, you are painting them all with the same brush. Far more people are killed by idiot drivers, but surely cars shouldn't be banned?

I'd also agree with having some sort of license, as cyclists who put pedestrians at risk should not be allowed use the road.

NegativeCreep

Oymyakon wrote: »

Related to what another person said, you are painting them all with the same brush. Far more people are killed by idiot drivers, but surely cars shouldn't be banned?

I'd also agree with having some sort of license, as cyclists who put pedestrians at risk should not be allowed use the road.

Well luckily I'll be in charge so I can do whatever I want :pac:
ALL cyclists to be thrown into the gulag (whatever that is) and the key thrown away, so there! :P

pragmatic1

rawn wrote: »

Cool, so rich people never have to go to jail.

They'd still be punished just not with a jail term.

ibFoxer

Winterlong wrote: »

You have to pass an IQ test to vote.

You have to pass an IQ test to breed.

Wanderer78

Deedsie wrote: »

I think I would increase the legal age for alcoholic consumption to 20 and decrease the voting age to 17.

The problem of harmful consumption really has never been dealt with in any meaningful way in Ireland.

Increasing the price won't impact at all unfortunately. More severe punishments for people who participate in anti social behaviour while intoxicated.

what do you mean by more severe punishment?

rawn

pragmatic1 wrote:

They'd still be punished just not with a jail term.

Such as?

pragmatic1

rawn wrote: »

Such as?

They would get hit hard where it hurts them most, in the pockets. I'd also have them make very public apologies. Bankers won't see a day of jail as it is anyway. And if by some miracle they do, it'll be a cushy little term in a minimum security holiday camp. A financial penalty would be a much better punishment imo.

Wanderer78

pragmatic1 wrote: »

They would get hit hard where it hurts them most, in the pockets. I'd also have them make very public apologies. Bankers won't see a day of jail as it is anyway. And if by some miracle they do, it'll be a cushy little term in a minimum security holiday camp. A financial penalty would be a much better punishment imo.

jail terms work for fraudulent activities in the financial sector, according to bill black anyway. im not convinced that financial penalties alone work for the financial sector.

joe swanson

Internet access only for those intelligent enough to use it properly. For example on Facebook lately I have seen a number of nutjobs who seem to believe homeopathy and crystals cures cancer . Sure didnt it say so online .

OldNotWIse

Imagine :P

I'd have special prisons of hell for anyone who abused an animal.

If the temperature goes above 22 its an automatic national holiday. Down tools and out to enjoy the sunshine.

Everyone would get the day off for their birthday.

Public transport would be free for workers.

Irish would no longer be mandatory for school children.

Free travel at weekends for students who have to move in order to go to college.

Travel fares for people who were forced to emigrate because there was no work here would be paid for out of Enda's expenses, and he can take the bus.

No smoking at bus stops or doorways.

All workplaces would have subsidized crèches and kennels.

rawn

pragmatic1 wrote:

They would get hit hard where it hurts them most, in the pockets. I'd also have them make very public apologies. Bankers won't see a day of jail as it is anyway. And if by some miracle they do, it'll be a cushy little term in a minimum security holiday camp. A financial penalty would be a much better punishment imo.

So they would essentially pay a fine, issue a phony apology and be done with it? God, the bankers and the elite will love you!! Those too poor to pay will i assume be jailed unless they "find" the money somewhere?

OldNotWIse

joe swanson wrote: »

Internet access only for those intelligent enough to use it properly. For example on Facebook lately I have seen a number of nutjobs who seem to believe homeopathy and crystals cures cancer . Sure didnt it say so online .

The same tools who post meaningless RIP messages and hope that the deceased is resting with the angles.

Maximus Alexander

Winterlong wrote: »

You have to pass an IQ test to vote.

You can't fail an IQ test...

ToddyDoody

'Shut up', would be one.

Winterlong

Maximus Alexander wrote: »

You can't fail an IQ test...

Good point. But lets not tell anyone. Examiners discretion.

Wossack

Maximus Alexander wrote: »

You can't fail an IQ test...

that was actually another test to spot the apologists - to the gulag with ya

silvervixen84

Anyone convicted of white-collar/non-violent crime has to do community service for as long as befits what they did (as well as any fines given to them).

As for those convicted of violent crime, no suspended sentences. You do the crime, you do the time.

Government-subsidised days off for public and private sector workers who want to do volunteer work in their community (1/2 days per annum)

Help with childcare costs (vouchers) & upskilling for parents who want to go back to work.

Annual performance reviews of TDs by their constituents. Anyone who falls below a certain level is subject to a by-election and have to earn back their seat.

More money provided for non-team sports.

Tax incentives to sole traders or companies that contract/partner up with local and national firms rather than outsourcing from abroad.

Text speak would be banned.

And for purely selfish reasons as I live in London - one free return flight a year for expats who want to come home and visit their friends and family (for more than a three day visit)

edbrez

All cat owners must buy a licence.

Renegade Mechanic

I'd like to get a hold of the road people..

Flat state insurance charge. Everyone pays a grand. Seeing as how everyone is paying into a central one anyway, private companies are going bust and leaving the central Irish one to pay their debt by loading onto everyone else......... :mad:

Get rid of the qualified driver passenger CRAP. People drive generally because they're going to work.
New and Qualified drivers usually have different jobs...

Mandatory lessons can stay though..

Boot the points system. If someone gets their 12 point fill, they're just going to drive without a licence, insurance, tax or NCT unless they're literally jailed which they generally aren't...
Instead, make the fines MUCH bigger and make the fines work for the state.


Lower old system road tax a little, scrap emissions based tax - it's a lie and once everyone is on the emissions based tax, it's going to have to be as high as the old system anyway....
But actually put that money onto the bloody roads...

Lower the big engine taxes substantially. The amount of people driving them will generate more tax revenue in the fuel they'll be buying. Bit sneaky but what have you..

Boot the VRT. It's killing the car sales industry and the tax isn't going anywhere useful.

Introduce a "trailer NCT". Twenty quid a year for a cert you can put with your license/in your glovebox or something. And stamp the number on the cert, onto the frame of the trailer if it's not numbered, after it's first test. Only necessary to show if trailer is being towed. But this trailer road tax they're discussing can get stuffed... It's safety, not profit.
No cert to show, but the trailer looks ok? 50 euro fine.
No cert and the trailer is crap? No lights, bald tyres, etc? Stick another zero on the fine and if the trailer is bad enough, crush it.
Trailers are gone to absolute pot. I'm sick of seeing rolling sheds, leaving bits of themselves on the roads...

Just off the top of me noggin anyway.

titan18

Prima Nocta

Basically this:

Rule no. 1:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cuej22Iy-GU

And all other rules will be taught to you at training:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3j3_iPskjxk

Only thing is no one will ever graduate. All of you are worthless maggots. Now sit the f*ck down, shut the f*ck up and SWEAR TO MEEE!!

pragmatic1

rawn wrote: »

So they would essentially pay a fine, issue a phony apology and be done with it? God, the bankers and the elite will love you!! Those too poor to pay will i assume be jailed unless they "find" the money somewhere?

No not pay just a fine, pay back whatever they gained via fraudulent activity, plus extra for an distress caused and a very public apology.

If that means they lose everything then so be it.