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Housemates and guests

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  • 26-06-2016 7:36pm
    #1
    danko82
    Registered Users Posts: 222 ✭✭


    Hi all,
    we are in 3 people in the house.
    2 bathroom.
    In the last 2 month one housemate is bringing a guest.
    At beginning was few days for week, not it is almost every day, like 4 days of 7 days of the week is here.
    I don't think it is right for this reasons:
    1 the other 2 people are paying the same of him
    2 i am choose this house and I knew to share with only 2 people, now are 3
    3 the bill, the guess is of course using shower every day, etc
    4 i don't want to share the bathroom with a person more.

    any suggestions?
    Am I right if i going to tell him that it is not right, etc?
    thanks


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    #2
    athtrasna
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,420 ✭✭✭✭athtrasna


    Questions before we can answer:
    • Does the owner live in the property?
    • Do you have a lease for your room or is it a shared lease for the entire property?
    • Who was there first?
    • Is the person having the guest the head/main tenant?
    • Have you discussed it with this housemate yet?
    • What does the other housemate think? Do they have an issue with the housemate having a guest?
    • Does the landlord know about this guest?


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    #3
    danko82
    Registered Users Posts: 222 ✭✭danko82


    athtrasna wrote: »
    Questions before we can answer:
    • Does the owner live in the property?
    • Do you have a lease for your room or is it a shared lease for the entire property?
    • Who was there first?
    • Is the person having the guest the head/main tenant?
    • Have you discussed it with this housemate yet?
    • What does the other housemate think? Do they have an issue with the housemate having a guest?
    • Does the landlord know about this guest?

    1 no, the house is own by a company, I think, I am not sure
    2 myself and the other person have a contract with the other guy that has a contract for all house
    3 i am here since 8 months, it is just 2 months it is happening.
    4 no it is not
    5 we are in three, myself the housetenant and the other person with the guest
    6 no, they don't know.


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    #4
    athtrasna
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,420 ✭✭✭✭athtrasna


    So you and the person with the guest both have contracts with the third tenant? If so you need to talk to that tenant. To be honest I'm surprised they haven't dealt with it by now as it affects them too.


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    #5
    Stealthfins
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,141 ✭✭✭Stealthfins


    Is that guest a girlfriend/boyfriend ?

    Things have changed so much since my renting day's of the 90's.

    Back in my day people sharing houses regularly had partners staying over,nobody gave a toss or questioned it.

    Maybe you may fall in love sometime and appreciate being able to have them over every second night.....


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    #6
    danko82
    Registered Users Posts: 222 ✭✭danko82


    I understand it, but it is not right that:
    1 we are paying the bills for someone other is in the house
    I choose to share the bathroom with another person, not 2..and I am still paying the same.

    In my opinion 1-2 night for week is already enough, not 4,5 for week..

    usually for the room there are different price for a person or two people..right?


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    #7
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 24,714 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Stealthfins wrote: »
    Is that guest a girlfriend/boyfriend ?

    Things have changed so much since my renting day's of the 90's.

    Back in my day people sharing houses regularly had partners staying over,nobody gave a toss or questioned it.

    Maybe you may fall in love sometime and appreciate being able to have them over every second night.....

    Having a partner staying every second night would be unacceptable in the vast majority of houseshares, it's not on at all. 1 or 2 nights a week max.


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    #8
    Ursus Horribilis
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,168 ✭✭✭Ursus Horribilis


    This is an awkward one and I've seen all sorts of variations of it on boards. In some extreme cases, there are people who have sneakily moved their boyfriend/girlfriend in with them full time and not told their housemates. Even if things never get that far, it is an issue that can cause a lot of problems. It's not just the financial aspect that's a problem. What gets to a lot of people is the disruption that having a stranger on their floor brings. Not to mention suddenly finding themselves dealing with a couple rather than an individual. Even if the couple aren't the sort who hog the common living areas and stick to hanging out in the bedroom, it's still a disruption. Walls are thin in most houses...

    You have three choices as far as I can see
    1. Move
    2. Do nothing and put up with it
    3. Have a house meeting and tell this housemate that having loverboy/lovergirl over 4 nights a week is unacceptable.

    Have you spoken to your other housemate? Having him or her on board would help your case should you decide to speak to this person. It's not a pleasant conversation to be having but it has to be done. There is probably nothing in the lease about how often house guests can stay over and different people will have different ideas about what is acceptable. If four nights is too much, then where does that leave three? Or two? You've got to be polite but firm here. You didn't sign up for a four person house share. Be careful about the money aspect - if this other housemate tries to pay extra money, it'll be harder to stop all those sleepovers.


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    #9
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 24,714 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Odus fell down wrote: »
    Be careful about the money aspect - if this other housemate tries to pay extra money, it'll be harder to stop all those sleepovers.

    +1 on this.

    Don't go asking for extra money or anything like that as this will give the additional person more legitimacy in the house. You need to let the house mate know that things as they currently are are unacceptable, you signed up and pay a portion of rent to live with 2 other people and you do not want to live with 3 others or couple. You then need to suggest what you feel is an acceptable number of days for them to have a person over (you can't say none either by the way, there has to be a bit of give and take).


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    #10
    Maireadio
    Closed Accounts Posts: 662 ✭✭✭Maireadio


    athtrasna wrote: »
    • Who was there first?

    Who was there first is totally irrelevant, they are all paying the same rent and even if they weren't, it wouldn't matter. Being there first doesn't confer extra benefits like being allowed to have houseguests over excessively.


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    #11
    athtrasna
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,420 ✭✭✭✭athtrasna


    Maireadio wrote: »
    Who was there first is totally irrelevant, they are all paying the same rent and even if they weren't, it wouldn't matter. Being there first doesn't confer extra benefits like being allowed to have houseguests over excessively.

    What I meant was, if that housemate was there before the OP and used to have guests that often then the OP really couldn't do anything about it. When I asked the question we didn't know how long the OP was there...the question was asked in a block of others. No need to single it out!


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    #12
    Maireadio
    Closed Accounts Posts: 662 ✭✭✭Maireadio


    athtrasna wrote: »
    What I meant was, if that housemate was there before the OP and used to have guests that often then the OP really couldn't do anything about it. When I asked the question we didn't know how long the OP was there...the question was asked in a block of others. No need to single it out!

    Even so, when new housemates move in, new ground rules must be laid down as there is a changing of the guard. It doesn't matter if that's what happened before and it certainly doesn't mean the new housemates can't object just because it did. It would not be a valid argument, as the new housemates are not the old ones. With every housemate change, rules can change.


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    #13
    athtrasna
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,420 ✭✭✭✭athtrasna


    Maireadio wrote: »
    Even so, when new housemates move in, new ground rules must be laid down as there is a changing of the guard. It doesn't matter if that's what happened before and it certainly doesn't mean the new housemates can't object just because it did. It would not be a valid argument, as the new housemates are not the old ones. With every housemate change, rules can change.

    It's a moot point now that we have the answers but if the other tenant was there first and had an agreement with the head tenant before the OP moved in then there would have been little the OP could do. That's why I asked the question - now that we have more info the question is irrelevant as it's a recent change of behaviour.


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    #14
    danko82
    Registered Users Posts: 222 ✭✭danko82


    they didn't have any agreement.
    We had a discussion, I said that for me it is unacceptable 4 night in a week.
    the ridiculous thing is that he asked me what is my concern if he decided to bring someone every single day...
    I was kind of mad at that question.
    btw the headtenant for this time said he didn't want to put number of night on paper, but just to use the common sense..
    I hope the other will use common sense, but i am not sure at all.


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    #15
    moc moc a moc
    Registered Users Posts: 1,299 ✭✭✭moc moc a moc


    athtrasna wrote: »
    What I meant was, if that housemate was there before the OP and used to have guests that often then the OP really couldn't do anything about it.

    This is irrelevant either way. The comfort of OP, a rent-paying tenant, comes before any guests, regardless of any previous arrangement.
    danko82 wrote: »
    myself and the other person have a contract with the other guy that has a contract for all house

    This sounds dangerously like subletting rather than renting - do you have contact details for the actual landlord or letting company? You have fewer rights as a licensee (subletting) than you have as a tenant (renting).


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    #16
    Pawwed Rig
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Home & Garden Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators Posts: 22,384 CMod ✭✭✭✭Pawwed Rig


    Stealthfins wrote: »
    Is that guest a girlfriend/boyfriend ?

    Things have changed so much since my renting day's of the 90's.

    Back in my day people sharing houses regularly had partners staying over,nobody gave a toss or questioned it.

    Maybe you may fall in love sometime and appreciate being able to have them over every second night.....

    I rented for a good portion of the 90's and the same issue arose regularly.


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    #17
    Gone Drinking
    Registered Users Posts: 2,809 ✭✭✭Gone Drinking


    I was that "guest" for a period back when I first met my girlfriend but bar taking a piss if I stayed over, I didn't use the shower or bathroom in the morning.. I'd always head back to my own house for that side of things. I wouldn't expect to use the facilities if I wasn't a paying tenant. I was also there max 3 nights a week.

    Saying that, did you say the guy with the guest is sub letting the rooms to you and he actually rents the whole house? In which case you don't really have much say to be honest.

    Vote with your feet, I guess.


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    #18
    Maireadio
    Closed Accounts Posts: 662 ✭✭✭Maireadio


    Gone Drinking wrote: »
    Saying that, did you say the guy with the guest is sub letting the rooms to you and he actually rents the whole house? In which case you don't really have much say to be honest.

    Vote with your feet, I guess.

    No, I think the OP and the guy with the guest are subletting from the third housemate. Maybe the OP will clarify.


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    #19
    danko82
    Registered Users Posts: 222 ✭✭danko82


    moc moc a moc wrote: »
    This sounds dangerously like subletting rather than renting - do you have contact details for the actual landlord or letting company? You have fewer rights as a licensee (subletting) than you have as a tenant (renting).

    for what I know the guy head tenant has a contract with a company or whatever and the other 2 people (other person that bring the guest and myself) have a contract with him.
    btw the property is informed about how many people are living here as they have our documents, etc.

    is there something i can do?

    The horrible thing is that he said to me why I care if he bring a person every day....
    Are you ****ing kidding me? I answered...


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    #20
    danko82
    Registered Users Posts: 222 ✭✭danko82


    Gone Drinking wrote: »
    Saying that, did you say the guy with the guest is sub letting the rooms to you and he actually rents the whole house? In which case you don't really have much say to be honest.

    Vote with your feet, I guess.

    the guy is renting the whole house is not the one is bringing person every day.it is the other one.


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    #21
    shaymoose
    Registered Users Posts: 40 ✭shaymoose


    I went through this umpteen times and its always a dogs dinner. Do yourself a favour and get your own place. Find a landlord who doesnt mind subletting and rent the rooms out, lay down some groundrules and enforce them.

    I sympathise with you but this is normal in shared accomodation and will go on for ever.


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    #22
    danko82
    Registered Users Posts: 222 ✭✭danko82


    shaymoose wrote: »
    I sympathise with you but this is normal in shared accomodation and will go on for ever.

    so for you is normal to bring people.
    well in this case I can bring my own guest everyday and ask him half of my rent..
    this doesn't make sense.


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    #23
    shaymoose
    Registered Users Posts: 40 ✭shaymoose


    danko82 wrote: »
    shaymoose wrote: »
    I sympathise with you but this is normal in shared accomodation and will go on for ever.

    so for you is normal to bring people.
    well in this case I can bring my own guest everyday and ask him half of my rent..
    this doesn't make sense.
    Whats norrmal in a shared house is that you cannot controll the situation.


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