Inviting people to dinner for 40th- who pays?

dinneenp

Hi,
Wife's 40th,im inviting family, uncles, aunts & a few friends for dinner. Pub after for the night. Most are travelling from around the country, book a hotel as staying overnight.

Who pays for the meal, I presumed me but a few people said no. Is there a general rule of thumb?
Thanks,
Patrick

Hollister11

The Host

Baby01032012

Unless it's the Celtic tiger all over again I'd assume everyone pays there own way.

It depends on your circumstances OP and if it's something you wish to do. Wedding would be the only event I'd expect the hosts to pay for.

I've had my own 40th this year with friends invited to a nice restaurant. Everyone paid their own way.

Milly33

I would think the host would pay, as you invited them... If people insist then you could say just stick 20 in a envelope or something and give to you leave it at that..

Osgood

dinneenp wrote: »

Hi,
Wife's 40th,im inviting family, uncles, aunts & a few friends for dinner. Pub after for the night. Most are travelling from around the country, book a hotel as staying overnight.

Who pays for the meal, I presumed me but a few people said no. Is there a general rule of thumb?
Thanks,
Patrick

We've had events like this where you invite people by saying "we're going out for a meal and hope ye could join us. Everyone is paying for themselves". At least then no one is under any illusions when it comes to paying on the night!

2Mad2BeMad

A rule of thumb at least to ones ive been to (not 40ths)
Is the host expects to pay, but most generally offer money towards the meal, its like a domino effect unless a family member is really stingy.

Once the bill comes, you'd get a person straight away normanlly saying "I'll pay for my own" once you go through the awkward back and forward talk "No I'll pay I invited you", with a reply of "don't be silly I'll pay for myself wouldnt expect you to pay for everyone here" etc...

then some other friends and family members will jump in and agree to pay for their own.

Yanooo, the usually ****e :P haha

if no one even offers to pay for their own, I'd question your family/friends who are their to be honest :L even if you insist on paying for it yourself.

Gerry T

If you invite then you pay. If monies tight then why invite people for a meal, you could invite them to go for drinks, then most would buy their own. If it were a 30th maybe you could split the bill but not a 40th

Bergmann

I would expect to pay for myself if I was one of the invitees in this situation

yqtwqxqm

If I invite people to an occasion I pay for them.
Of course everyone will be nice and offer to pay themselves, but I am the one that brought them there and I will pay. If I wasnt going to pay I wouldnt have asked them to come.
tbh I have been at a few events where the invitees tried to pay for themselves, but they found I had already left my card to pay for them in advance. I hate the i'll pay, no we simply cant accept that stuff. They mean well, but its a pain. Just let me pay when I invite you.

Sam Kade

If you"re inviting them you pay, why would anyone invite people out for dinner and expect them to pay? Why not just invite them to the pub instead and they'll but their own drink?

kupus

You are the person doing the inviting. You are the one paying. I dont think it can be any simpler than that.

dinneenp

Sam Kade wrote: »

If you"re inviting them you pay, why would anyone invite people out for dinner and expect them to pay? Why not just invite them to the pub instead and they'll but their own drink?

Because they'll get put out because they weren't invited to the meal.....