Grown up daughter living at home..paying her way?

Realt Dearg Sec

Emme wrote: »

Why wouldn't you have excellent savings when you didn't have to dip into your pocket once when you were living with your parents?



Why is it mean? An adult child living in their parents's house costs them money. Electricity, food, heat, telephone, internet and water all have to be paid for along with the mortgage if they have one. Houses need upkeep and that costs money. It isn't fair for an adult child to expect all this for nothing. If they had their own home they would have to pay for it.

The odds of them ever having their own home go up if they aren't forking over money in the meantime though. If you want them out and in a good situation, if it's something you can afford, it's a great chance to help them save. I don't see what the problem is.

BnB

Sapphire wrote: »

The problem with letting your grown up children free-load while doing all their laundry, dinners and paying for their share of the bills and letting them keep 100% of their income is that when they end up flat-sharing they become THAT flatmate.......

I would agree with your post.

BUT the geralisation that people are making, is that just because grown up kids live at home, they are automatically having all their laundry done, dinners cooked, etc and are going to turn out screwed up people with no idea how to function in the real world.

The OP asked a question about a girl who is only finished college a wet week. He never said she was walking on them or anything like that. But yet loads of posters are just straight up assuming that she is.

Do posters think that kicking kids out of the house or demanding rent when they are finished college is the only way to teach them how to live ? Hell No... If they have to wait untill they move out untill they learn how to stick on a wash or boil a pot of spuds, then you've let them down. All kids, as young as possible should be pulling their weight around the house. From a young age with just tidying up their own toys, emptying the dishwasher etc

If I had grown up kids who were treating the house as a free B&B / Laundry Service / Canteen..... then I would certainly be having a chat with them about a few realities.

But, if when they grow up,my kids are treating the house and their mother with respect then, I'd be delighted to have them around.

mahamageehad

+1 to all the posters that said this is completely normal. In fact, I think it has become less likely in recent years to hand up keep. I'm 26 and in my parents generation every one of them handed up money when they got a paying job, it was the only way of keeping the household running. I think a lot of posters here are getting fixated on the word rent. It's not about charging your kid rent, it's about asking them to contribute to the household in some way. Even if it's only 20 quid a week towards the ESB. Now, in saying that, if you can survive OP I would say to her the kid the summer to get on her feet. Talk with your ex first and agree a nominal fee. I think it needs to be the same in both homes, so she's not tempted to stay in the "cheaper" one. Once you've a plan made, talk with your daughter. Tell her your expectations ( eg from September you need to give me and your dad 15 a week). She's an adult, she may tell you that she only plans to be there for the summer then look while she saves for a deposit for a flat, you never know!

eviltwin

Avery Dirty Mine wrote: »

This new thing of charging children to live at home is pure madness. Why would you do that to your daughter. Ask her to get the shopping in now and again and take on a bill like internet or tv etc but don't charge her rent and let her build up her savings and get her a good head start on route to a mortgage while still enjoying her 20's as she will be able to save and enjoy life if she isn't paying rent.

My parents would laugh if someone suggested one of us pay rent while living at home they wouldn't even entertain the idea same for friends of mine many who lived at home until they were 30 while in good jobs. The idea of paying rent to live at home is bizarre.

Does mammy wash and iron your underwear too?

Spanish Eyes

In our house, once us kids started earning, we paid up every week/month. It was not unusual at all, and we took it as normal.

I was the eldest, and although my parents were not RICH or anything, when I mooched about buying a house after a few years, the parents produced a Credit Union account where they had put all my hand up money and gave it to me as a gift. Well I have a few tears even thinking about it now!

Dad laughingly said, if I hadn't gone by 30 they were keeping it!.

Same applied to the two younger than me, but I had to keep my gift a secret until it came to their turn. One got married and the other travelled.

Parents, aren't they the very BESTEST!!

eviltwin

eviltwin wrote: »

Does mammy wash and iron your underwear too?

Wash yes, iron underwear no who does that? Iron t-shirts, shirts etc yes.

eviltwin

eviltwin wrote: »

Does mammy wash and iron your underwear too?

Avery Dirty Mine wrote: »

Wash yes, iron underwear no who does that? Iron t-shirts, shirts etc yes.

Let's stop there please

Zipppy

Thanks all for your input...Lots to consider..

Admin / mods...you might put this thread to bed now please...