Toilet Training

sillysocks

Ok so this may be a stupid question! Just starting to try train my boy today, I trained my girl a few years ago and after two accidents the first morning she just 'got it' and never had accidents after that.
With her I used to bring her to the toilet maybe every half an hour to start with and stretched it out a bit as the days went on until I just relied on her to tell me.

So I started off like that with my son this morning and all was going well. Now in the last two/three hours since he started to drink more as the day went on he's having accidents every few minutes. He'll go and put a wee in the toilet when I bring him and then a few minutes later I'll notice his underpants are wet. Now it might not be a huge amount as it's only the pants that are wet rather than 'puddles' but I'm wondering if this is normal or how to encourage him to hold it for the toilet. It's like as if he's just having small wees every so often rather than just letting it all out in one go. Have a star chart and haven't been giving out to him, but I'm wondering if this is how the first day of toilet training should go ?! Think we're onto about pair 9 of underpants in the last 5 or 6 hours

Sligo1

sillysocks wrote: »

Ok so this may be a stupid question! Just starting to try train my boy today, I trained my girl a few years ago and after two accidents the first morning she just 'got it' and never had accidents after that.
With her I used to bring her to the toilet maybe every half an hour to start with and stretched it out a bit as the days went on until I just relied on her to tell me.

So I started off like that with my son this morning and all was going well. Now in the last two/three hours since he started to drink more as the day went on he's having accidents every few minutes. He'll go and put a wee in the toilet when I bring him and then a few minutes later I'll notice his underpants are wet. Now it might not be a huge amount as it's only the pants that are wet rather than 'puddles' but I'm wondering if this is normal or how to encourage him to hold it for the toilet. It's like as if he's just having small wees every so often rather than just letting it all out in one go. Have a star chart and haven't been giving out to him, but I'm wondering if this is how the first day of toilet training should go ?! Think we're onto about pair 9 of underpants in the last 5 or 6 hours

Hi sillysocks, we went through about 20 pairs of undies with my boy the first day of that's any consolation to you. I ended up just taking the pants off and letting him run around in the nip . The second day he had no accidents, the third day he had a couple and from then on he had none. Now the poo... Well that was a different story altogether... My girl on the other hand pretty much trained herself in a day or 2 and is completely dry through the night at 2 years and 3 months (bar waking us to go!).

Every time he wet himself (or the floor) I would just tell him "that's ok T, but the next time we need to do it in the potty". After the first day I pretty much said the same and never told him off, but was just slightly firmer. Saying big boys use the potty etc. And youre a big not aren't you so you can't be wetting your underpants etc.

Sounds like you're having a very very normal first day if I'm honest. It will most likely be better on the second and third day. Good luck

sillysocks

Great! Thanks for the reassurance I just wasn't sure if this was 'normal' or not. I've since discovered that I don't think he was fully emptying his bladder each time, I've brought a book in and when he's on the toilet when I'm reading it he does way more and accidents have been way less since. Will cross my fingers for that gradual improvement every day!

sillysocks

Thanks again for the reassurance Sligo. A much more successful day today, Day 2! Had one accident so compared with I think it was 13 pairs of pants yesterday it was a big success. And we had a number 2 in the toilet as well.

One more question if anyone can help..... I've just been bringing him to the toilet regularly, maybe every 30/40 minutes to see if he needs to go. I'm wondering how long it took before other children would actually ask to go when they needed to?

Sligo1

sillysocks wrote: »

Thanks again for the reassurance Sligo. A much more successful day today, Day 2! Had one accident so compared with I think it was 13 pairs of pants yesterday it was a big success. And we had a number 2 in the toilet as well.

One more question if anyone can help..... I've just been bringing him to the toilet regularly, maybe every 30/40 minutes to see if he needs to go. I'm wondering how long it took before other children would actually ask to go when they needed to?

Delighted things are going better today! I thought they probably would. Well I stayed around the house for the first 3 days and then ventured out. I made sure he went before we left and I'd try him once during the time we were out (if we were out for say 2-3 hours). I think I started asking him every couple of hours after that if he needed to go. Can't remember when he started to tell me.

My girl is trained this last month and I never have to ask her. She started telling game after day 2. I found if I left my boy for long he would dribble the tiniest bit on his underpants pants before he'd actually ask to go. I think he's just lazy tho! Lol

Cunning Stunt

Am following this thread! Will be doing the toilet training in two weeks time, when we have time off. Am actually excited about it LOL - judging from this thread I bet that will change by the end of day 1!

sillysocks

Well just an update for you so.... 13 accidents day one (!!) Just one on day two and none the last three days. So delighted with him. Really wasn't sure how it'd go after day 1 but he's really taken to it. He uses a normal toilet with no insert etc so even when we go places he'll use the toilet no problem. I wasn't relying on him to tell me when he needs to go-bringing him every hour or hour and a half to try (or whenever I see him holding himself and squirming!) but today had further progress when he came and told me he needed to go.

Good progress all round!! Not that I don't sweat anytime we're out of the house that he's going to let rip all over the floor

Cunning Stunt

Thx for the update! What about in the night? Do you use a nappy?

sillysocks

Cunning Stunt wrote: »

Thx for the update! What about in the night? Do you use a nappy?

Yep! Not even attempting that yet. Kind of hoping it'll just happen by itself. He had a fairly big wee when he got up this morning so must have been holding some in, but the pull up was wet too so not there yet.
Was going to put nappies on when I saw the price of pull ups, and because I'd almost a full pack of nappies left, but decided to suck it up because I didn't want to be confusing him by using any nappies once we started. The pull ups are different for him because the pull on and have a picture so they're not exactly the same as nappies to him. Reckoned cause we would only use one a day the price wasn't too bad. Don't know how people afford to use them full time as a happy substitute!

Sligo1

Cunning Stunt wrote: »

Thx for the update! What about in the night? Do you use a nappy?

We still have to use a pampers baby dry 6+ on our 3.5yo who has been trained a year ago! And it's still completely soaked in the morning (sometimes even wet through!).

Cunning Stunt

Thanks for the info
If we can get him to stay dry / clean during the day, and used pull ups at night, I'd be happy enough with that!

Mink

Fair play Sillysocks!

Re the nighttime, that really just happens by itself for the most part. Many kids I've heard of toilet trained very easily but still need pull up at night for a year or two after.

Then my son was a lot more difficult to toilet train but he was dry at night about a wk or 2 after we trained him for wee's.

Now he woke then every night to go for a wee, sometimes a few times but it trickled down to once. This went on for 5-6 mths. Now he doesn't get up at all in the 11/12hrs, his bladder can handle it. We did nothing to influence it either way, didn't change fluids or times of fluids, he just adjusted himself.

Sligo1 wrote: »

I found if I left my boy for long he would dribble the tiniest bit on his underpants pants before he'd actually ask to go. I think he's just lazy tho! Lol

My lad was the exact same for months after training him. He'd just hold it and hold it and then it would suddenly dawn on him that he was bursting. Still happens the odd odd day but generally he is on top of it.

Cunning Stunt

We will be entering the unfamiliar territory of toilet training tomorrow - god help us!

...On a lighter note, the little boxer shorts I got him are so cute!!:D

sillysocks

Good luck!! Be prepared for a lot of washing day 1 I ended day 1 on a count of 13 underpants in the wash! But since then (two weeks ago tomorrow) there was one accident on day 2 and zero since, so don't get disheartened if it seems a lost cause at first. My little fella is dry most nights as well(although I still use the pull up and hadn't actually tried to night time train him yet).

tickingclock

Cunning Stunt wrote: »

We will be entering the unfamiliar territory of toilet training tomorrow - god help us!

...On a lighter note, the little boxer shorts I got him are so cute!!:D

I think I'll do it at the end of August after holidays. I'm dreading it. Hope it goes well for you

Cunning Stunt

Well hes been up since 6am and by noon we only had two accidents, so thought we were flying - but after his nap that has now increased to 5 accidents (including one poop) and only 2 successful goes on the loo! Twice i had him sitting on the loo with no success, only to have him pee or poop himself 5 mins after getting off of it! He doesnt seem to mind wetting himself as much as i imagined he would, so this could take a long time! We used pullups for his nap which he really protested against. He loves his new big boy boxers, which i take as a good sign, so we compromised with pullups on and big boy boxers over them. Will do the same at bedtime!

Cunning Stunt

Can someone explain to me, are we supposed to be just putting him on the loo to see if he will go, or should we be waiting for him to come to us?

Cunning Stunt

Can someone explain to me, are we supposed to be just putting him on the loo to see if he will go, or should we be waiting for him to come to us?

sillysocks

I think there's different schools of thought on it but when I was training my two I brought them to the toilet very regularly (as in every 20/30 mins) on the first day and then gradually reduced how often I brought them as the days went on. After the first day or two my little fella developed a little dance that told me he needed to go
I was worried he didn't seem to care when he got wet the first day (and normally he hates even a spec of dirt on his hands etc!) but he was fine after so don't let that worry you.

Cunning Stunt

Thanks for the response. Yeah, I asked him so often today if he needed to go to the toilet, but the answer was always 'no' - and then he might pee himself two minutes later! So we put him on at random times as well, but that was really hit and miss. We learn as we go, I suppose!
Well he's in bed now, and I just counted - 7 changes of undies in all. Tomorrow might be better.
Never thought I'd be writing about things like this on the internet, LOL! Oh how having babies changes us!!:D

yellow hen

I'm reading this with avid interest as I plan on starting it soon with my little lad. I've purposely left it late as he has a speech delay but I'm still not convinced he's ready. Really hoping he proves me wrong..

sillysocks

Cunning Stunt wrote: »

Thanks for the response. Yeah, I asked him so often today if he needed to go to the toilet, but the answer was always 'no' - and then he might pee himself two minutes later! So we put him on at random times as well, but that was really hit and miss. We learn as we go, I suppose!
Well he's in bed now, and I just counted - 7 changes of undies in all. Tomorrow might be better.
Never thought I'd be writing about things like this on the internet, LOL! Oh how having babies changes us!!:D

Well I can beat that with my 13 changes the first day after 2 I got wise and didn't put trousers on over the pants for the rest of the day!
My fella didn't tell us at all he needed to go for the first week, he'd say no too if I asked so I just brought him whenever I thought he needed to or had drank a lot.
Best of luck tomorrow!

Cunning Stunt

Day 2 and we had 3 accidents and one successful wee so far. Hes gone for a nap with pullups on now. Had him on the loo soo many times and waited a good while each time but he doesnt seem to be able to 'let go' when hes on it. Pee'd himself as soon as he was off it though...
It seems like its going worse than day 1! Am trying not to get disheartened - Hes 2 yrs 7 mnths so he should be ready, i would think. Will just keep soldiering on anyway and see how it goes!

kandr10

Cunning Stunt wrote: »

Day 2 and we had 3 accidents and one successful wee so far. Hes gone for a nap with pullups on now. Had him on the loo soo many times and waited a good while each time but he doesnt seem to be able to 'let go' when hes on it. Pee'd himself as soon as he was off it though...
It seems like its going worse than day 1! Am trying not to get disheartened - Hes 2 yrs 7 mnths so he should be ready, i would think. Will just keep soldiering on anyway and see how it goes!

Hi I think I'm having a similar experience to you. First day I tried getting her on the potty every half hour but it just melted both our heads and we were both cranky and tired by the end of the day. Day two I asked her if she needed to go and more times than not she'd say no and have an accident a few mins later. She did have some wees and a poo in the potty too though. After that I kinda just ask her every so often and she has the odd accident but I'm trying to focus on successes. Being a girl I just put her in a dress with no undies which is handy. I'm finding it hard to keep up the momentum though. I'm wondering when it'll be safe to venture out without putting a pull-up on? It looks like it'll be 3 weeks+ training rather than 3 days lol!

Millem

I did an attempt on Friday. My guy must of pulled down pants when he started weeing and peed in a big puddle on patio in garden!! Was delighted with himself. The next wee he just did on his pants and told me after! He point blank is refusing to go on potty. He says he will sit on the toilet but won't bend himself to sit!anyway I admitted defeat as I just felt rotten and put nappy back on.
Need to buy the ladder and toilet seat but am not well at the mo. I am hoping to try again at the end of this week!
Time is ticking......monte in September

Judge Trudy

Millem wrote: »

I did an attempt on Friday. My guy must of pulled down pants when he started weeing and peed in a big puddle on patio in garden!! Was delighted with himself. The next wee he just did on his pants and told me after! He point blank is refusing to go on potty. He says he will sit on the toilet but won't bend himself to sit!anyway I admitted defeat as I just felt rotten and put nappy back on.
Need to buy the ladder and toilet seat but am not well at the mo. I am hoping to try again at the end of this week!
Time is ticking......monte in September

I tried toilet training my 2 yr 8 month child at Easter and it was a disaster. It was mostly my fault due to lack of prep and pregnancy exhaustion. Then during the heatwave in May, my daughter just hated having the nappy on and everything just clicked into place with her. She basically self trained. Now she is doing fantastic and barely has any accidents. I kept reading the Princess Polly books in between Easter and May too. I think when they're ready, it'll just click for them.

Sapphire

I did the three day method and it worked with my boy. I never used pullups or nappies, just into pants both day and night and it worked.

Also can highly recommend Pirates in Underpants book along with the others in the Underpants series. Toddlers love them.

Cunning Stunt

Our guy starts playschool in sept aswell, so am trying to get him trained beforehand. These two weeks we have holidays so its perfect for it, if he would just comply LOL!
Day 3 here - wees are being done on toilet more often but poo is a different matter altogether. He will wait and wait until he gets a minute alone, then he will soil himself.
I have to say he still doesnt like being put on the loo, esoecially if he has just woken up - so I hope that will get easier too...

What is the 3 day method?

kknitter

With my 2 and half year old boy, tried this weekend and he didn't want to sit on his potty. After few attempts got him sitting, but for him it was a game and he laughed all 2 mins sitting on it. Tried every 15 mins. After leaving potty, he did number 1 on floors but nothing in potty for whole day. Everytime outside.
Not sure whether he is not ready or he is ready and just doesnt want to use it.

Any suggestions please.

Cunning Stunt

From what i read online (.because i was having the same experience), its a common occurance during potty training for them to pee or poop just after getting off the toiley/potty, because they havnt learned to relax the muscles and 'let go' on the potty yet.

Well day 3 results are in - only 2 accidents all day from 6am to 7pm! Hes great for weeing on the loo now - poos still evading us though!

sillysocks

Great stuff, it's so nice when you start to see progress. I did realise on day 1 that he wasn't leaving all the wee out in one go on the toilet and then two mins later he'd wet himself again with another dribble, never just letting it all out. So I started reading short books while he was sitting on the toilet and then he'd be more relaxed and would let the full wee out which definitely helped with less accidents then!

Cunning Stunt

Day 4 and no accidents! Have been gushing over him all evening to tell him how proud we are!

Have to say though, he has yet to have a poop on the loo. He didn't do any at all today and I think it's a mental block thing, because of the toilet training. If we could only get that working, we'd be laughing.

sillysocks

That's great funny how you can be so proud of a child for using a toilet

My little guy had previously done his 'number 2' on the toilet so it wasn't fully new to him but for the first week he only went around every 3 days. I was a bit worried but he seems to be back to more or less daily now so hopefully it'll sort itself in time for you!

jester77

We kept it relatively simple with our little guy and it worked out great. We put a little potty outside for him and let him run around in the garden without any bottoms on. We just told him what the potty was there for, and that was it. We didn't have him sit on it until something happened. He came running to us with the potty every time he did something and he brought it to the toilet to dump and was excited to get to flush.

Cunning Stunt

Bloody hell you guys make it sound so easy - what am i doing wrong?!
Day 5 ( or is it 6, ive lost count) and wees are still no problem, but poop has yet to find its way into the toilet. 3 accidents yesterday, all poops. One poop accident today. I actually went and bought some small toys, wrapped them up, laid them out on the bathroom shelf and explained to him that they were for doing poops in the loo. He was definitely more enthusiastic about the whole thing after that, but still he went in his pants. I am starting to despair!

Millem

So proper day 1 was today and I have cabin fever from being indoors all day. I am also wrecked. No idea how many accidents but maybe 5?? And did 3 or 4 pees on loo no poo yet. I put a nappy on for naps. Got him ladder seat....he went hysterical so is using potty.
I feel like giving up!!!!!!!!! The thoughts of staying at home all day tomorrow

Cunning Stunt

I feel your pain Millem! We are getting out somewhere tomorrow, fully trained or not! Will just need to make sure its somewhere with loo facilities and bring provisions for cleaning him up if he has an accident. I cant take another day at home with two small kids!

Millem

I swear I was so tempted to put a nappy on him and even just go to tesco!!!!!!!! I am not feeling great myself he just did another pee out in the garden

Judge Trudy

Millem wrote: »

I swear I was so tempted to put a nappy on him and even just go to tesco!!!!!!!! I am not feeling great myself he just did another pee out in the garden

I know the feeling, I gave up the first time around. One thing that helped my daughter was to see other children using the potty. My friend brought her two wee ones around one day and when my daughter saw them use her potty, I think it was the catalyst to get her going. Is there anyone you could ask around and go on and on about how great and big they are using the potty.

Millem

The little girl at his minders who is a week younger than him is toilet trained. He told me a few months ago she was using the potty. Loads of his friends are toilet trained but he doesn't bat an eyelid in fact they have to leave game to pee whereas he keeps playing because in nappy! Tbh I feel rotten that it's probably not the best time for at the mo but I have to keep going. He needs to be toilet trained by sept we are on hols for first two weeks in august so only 2 weeks before Montessori.
May I just say dogs are amazing they get toilet trained so young and in no time I am shocked that they didn't get peed on today!!!!!

Immy

Millem wrote: »

I swear I was so tempted to put a nappy on him and even just go to tesco!!!!!!!! I am not feeling great myself he just did another pee out in the garden

The garden doesn't count.

I'm on week 2 and he's doing well. But if he is out playing the the garden he will just wee in the bushes or poo himself, he won't come in. He also doesn't like going for babysitter but much better for me. But in the house he's good and out and about he's good.

Millem

I don't know if he is even getting it he doesn't like getting wet. He just comes in takes shoes and socks out and either tells me he needs a tissue or he needs a shower!

moving_home

Millem wrote: »

I don't know if he is even getting it he doesn't like getting wet. He just comes in takes shoes and socks out and either tells me he needs a tissue or he needs a shower!

He sounds like he's not ready. I wouldn't push it. I know you are on a timeline for September but could you talk to them? It's really not fair on him pushing it if he's not ready. He could end up with issues with constipation etc. A couple of months can make a big difference. I honestly believe they can train in a few days if they are truly ready so I would take a break. Go back to nappies but keep the potty out and maybe encourage him to sit on it while you and your other half are on the toilet. I'd 'check' his nappy really often while he's playing so he's getting his play interrupted as often as he would if he was using the toilet to use that as a deterrent.

yellow hen

I'm starting next weekend but my guy is 3 and 4months. We have a 3.5month old so we decided to delay it but he also has a speech delay and I wasn't sure he was ready. He's beginning to tell me wverytime he's doing a poo though and I've been talking about the toilet for ages. The nappy fairy is even going to visit to take his nappies and give him a present. I've a stash of sweeties or wees and a lucky dip of dinkies and other little toys for poos. I also have a cartload of underpants. I'm praying he gets it!! What are the other essentials needed?

Millem

moving_home wrote: »

He sounds like he's not ready. I wouldn't push it. I know you are on a timeline for September but could you talk to them? It's really not fair on him pushing it if he's not ready. He could end up with issues with constipation etc. A couple of months can make a big difference. I honestly believe they can train in a few days if they are truly ready so I would take a break. Go back to nappies but keep the potty out and maybe encourage him to sit on it while you and your other half are on the toilet. I'd 'check' his nappy really often while he's playing so he's getting his play interrupted as often as he would if he was using the toilet to use that as a deterrent.

I will not push him. Gosh I thought he was ready considering some people would say they had loads more accidents but still persevered? Sure all you need to do is read this thread! I was going to see how tomorrow goes. He has been telling me when he has wet or dirty nappies since December! If not fully toilet trained monte said he can still go but tbh I will keep him with minder. I am not feeling well myself so am probably being over negative. He was delighted when he peed in potty and didn't want to wear nappy to bed. I agree a few months is huge

Millem

Update on day 2 had 2 accidents this morning (had undies on) .....was ready to give up! Then went on potty by himself and peed straight away (no undies on)
Then put undies on and he had accident put another pair of undies on and he walked out to garden pulled his "equipment" out of leg of undies and peed on grass lol
Long morning he is up since 7!!!!!!
He can't pull down undies by himself should I leave them off? He likes wearing them

livinsane

Lol at pulling it out of the leg of undies, he's got the right idea anyway! No advice sorry, haven't even started the process myself.

Has anyone started toilet training at the point where your child will not sit on a potty or toilet seat?
I'm going to try training my 2yrs 10mths boy shortly. He is very clued in to the whole process. Wants his dirty nappies changed straight away and makes a big deal about putting the poo down the toilet and flushing it away. He will not however sit on the potty (unless he is fully clothed) or the toilet (with seat insert).
I'm going to give it a go anyway. He has a two day place in preschool in Sept which he would adore and I'm due No 2 in October so Id really benefit from it. I don't mind him being in nappies at all so not the end of the world if it doesn't happen but I'm hoping I'll be pleasantly surprised.

Cunning Stunt

Went to zoo today, half hour drive there and back and 1.5 hrs walking round it. Brought him to the loo there twice. Was fully expecting a struggle but he was happy enough to do his wee. He got an awful fright at the hand drier though !
Hasnt poo'd yet today but I have laid off on mentioning anything about poo to him aswell, to see if maybe less focus on it will actually help him get it out on the loo. Think maybe I have been making too big a deal out of it for him. Lets see....
Anyway, was great to get out and about finally!

Millem

My guy was looking a bit shifty in hall and wouldn't let anyone in so I shoved his potty out. (Thought he was going to do a number 2!) anyway he wouldn't even let dogs into hall. He did a wee in potty then poured it in loo

Cunning that is great about your guy I messaged monte teacher and she said if toilet training isn't working don't worry and we can try again after he settles in monte. Tbh I was going to delay him starting if not trained.

Livingsane my guy won't sit on potty or loo. We went to tesco and bought two special trucks which were for him as he was a big boy and was going to use potty. He sits on potty now but not toilet!

Cunning Stunt

Well if he would only do the number 2 on the loo, we'd be flyin it!
...Am on poop watch now the past hour. I know hes waiting to do one as soon as he's on his own! He literally only needs a half a minute window to do it, lol.
Lets see if he can slip one past us again this evening....

Millem

Cunning Stunt wrote: »

Well if he would only do the number 2 on the loo, we'd be flyin it!
...Am on poop watch now the past hour. I know hes waiting to do one as soon as he's on his own! He literally only needs a half a minute window to do it, lol.
Lets see if he can slip one past us again this evening....

My guy just did number 2 in potty 1 potty is now in hall. He wants privacy

Cunning can't remember are you using potty....could you put it somewhere to give him privacy?
My guy will only 2 number 2s by himself. He used to go into his playhouse close all shutters and doors and do it in nappy