Two year old only wants her daddy!

ncmc

Hi all, my two year old for the last few weeks only wants daddy to do things for her, or daddy to comfort her when she’s sick or tired. She’s find with me when it’s just me and her, but if daddy is at home, then she will literally not let me do anything for her or will shoo me off the couch if I’m sitting beside her to let daddy sit down. Even when she’s sick, or under the weather, she will almost jump out of my arms to get to him. My husband doesn’t do anything to encourage this behaviour and tried to get her to go to me. I would be the primary care giver in that I spend 3 full days a week with her, whereas some weeks he would only spend one with her. I know it’s childish of me, but I am finding it really hurtful and nearly finding myself resentful of her and him. Has anyone else experienced this and hopefully come out the other side?

endagibson

Your child is two and will go through many phases over the next few years. Some will last longer than others. I have a niece who until recently wanted to dress like daddy, wouldn't wear dresses, etc. She's starting to come out of that now and I'm not sure that I like it.

Could be that because you're around more often, daddy is seen as a novelty.

Just wait until the child finds out what winds you up and how to press your buttons...

Sapphire

It's normal Try to enjoy the peace while you can before its your turn to be flavour of the month - because it will come around where only you will do and they wont want dad near them.

livinsane

Try not to let it upset you, it's so normal and not all indicative that she prefers one of you over the other. Like someone said, daddy might be more of a novelty. It could swing the other way quickly. My almost 3 year old could ask for daddy 50 times while he's at work, might ask a few times for me while I'm at work. I went away for a weekend for the first time ever and he asked for me once! Conversely, only I can put him to sleep at night (unless I'm out of the house) and daddy gets pushed away (literally on the forehead while saying "push!").

I feel sometimes that parenting is like a couple being in love with the same person and all the jealousy and competition that would come with that! We're expecting number 2 in October and I really feel that it will take away some of that intensity...and replace it with chaos

ectoraige

It is completely normal, and is a part of how young children learn about relationships. Allow your husband to enjoy the time with her, he shouldn't be in the situation that he's trying to direct her back to you.

All of ours have had favourites over the years at different times, at the moment I'll get a hug from my eldest when I get home, while the youngest literally greets me with "Can I go on your phone?", and when I tell him NO, he wanders back to what he was do (or whines a little first)

threescompany

I know it's hurtful. My eldest was the same when I was pregnant for 2 months or so. I was so upset as up until then she was so affectionate towards me. I even went online wondering if it was normal and asking very same question as you. As the others said, it is normal and will pass - most certainly!!! My advice is just to try not show you are upset about it and let her have her time with her daddy. It's great they are so close. In a few weeks, normality will resume :-)

Lady is a tramp

livinsane wrote: »

I feel sometimes that parenting is like a couple being in love with the same person and all the jealousy and competition that would come with that!

That's a great way of describing it!

I'm not with my son's father anymore and he's the primary caregiver, so it's hard to know if my son has a preference between us as we're very rarely both with him at the same time. He definitely shows a marked preference for me rather than e.g. my parents etc when we're all around. He doesn't tend to ever look for or ask for his dad when he's with me, but is always delighted to see him when I drop him back to him.

I've a tonne of younger siblings, and have often seen them go through phases like what you describe over the years. I don't know if it's maybe partly a gender thing, but in my own experience it often seems a case of mammy's boys and daddy's girls? I totally see how it's frustrating for you to do the bulk of the childcare and for her to run for daddy, but it probably is just the novelty factor of seeing him less than she sees you. Totally normal though!

Tawaret

Totally normal as others have said. I completely get you about feeling hurt, and I did too for a while, but tbh I relish it when she goes through those periods now, it gives me time to myself

ncmc

Thanks so much for the replies folks, it's reassuring to know that it's not abnormal and that she doesn't hate me!

I feel sometimes that I'm the one to do the unpleasant things, whereas daddy is associated with the good things. Due to our working hours, I'm the one that has to wake her early to get her out in the morning, I'm the one that 'abandons' her at the childminder or creche, whereas my husband is the one that picks her up in the evening and she's always delighted to see him. I'm probably overthinking it though!

bp

Completely normal! Boys do usually favour mammy and visa versa. The other night my 1 year old, who screams if I go more than 2 feet away, only wanted daddy. I happily went back to bed and hubby was up from 4am

LegacyUser

I've a 2 year old girl, she's all about daddy. "Where's daddy" is a constant refrain during the day. She is thrilled to see him come home. And yes, I'm the boring one, the discipline one, the wipe-the-face, put-your-clothes-on, get-off-that-chair one.
They go through phases.It's life, we'll come out the other side.

mirrorwall14

Our 17 month old has gone through several periods of this already. Last month it was all about Daddy. Now its all about me. Or food. Hard to tell whether he just wants me because I have food.... lol

John Mason

my 2 year old has gone through a dada only, then a mama only, back to dada.

we are currently in a mama only phase and i really wish he would hurry and go back to a dada phase. he didnt go asleep until 4am this morning and i was up at 7am for work.

Pawwed Rig

John Mason wrote: »

my 2 year old has gone through a dada only, then a mama only, back to dada..

Normally my little fellah calls for Daddy when he wakes up but sometimes he just wants Mama and noone else will do. It is not hurtful it is just a 2 year old being a 2 year old.

cbyrd

It will happen all her life.

My eldest is 17, last year she took a strop and moved in with her dad ( 9 doors up the street!). She was having a few issues over her sexuality and decided she hated me. With good counselling (self harm issues and attempted suicide all thrown in there ) we got back on track. We're now best friends. She still lives with her dad but spends every day here, when things get too noisy she has a place to retreat too.

Sometimes, it's a little rebellion, that they know just how to get you, especially if they see you react! They're clever like that! and sometimes it's just a preference for that person that day..

You have to learn not to take it personally, it's something they do and taking it personally will hurt not only your feelings but breed a bit of resentment towards the other parent..
It's a hard lesson learned but much less stressful when you do