Suitable Household Chores for a 10 year old.

LegacyUser

I'm a regular Boards.ie poster but I'm way too embarrassed to use my user name as I feel I've let my child down very badly

I'm looking for advice regarding suitable chores I can give my 10 year old daughter. Some background - I came from a family where my siblings and I all had paid jobs from a very young age (12) we did milk rounds, cut lawns, childminding, worked in supermarkets, bars etc... It did us no harm in so far as we all have a very strong work etiquette and by the time we reached our early twenties we all had our own homes.

Looking back we did lose out in someways, I for one didn't concentrate as much I should have on school/college and more importantly on the social side of life. My husband grew up on a busy farm and his experience was pretty similar.

I think subconsciously we've never asked our daughter to do anything around the house because want her to be child and to enjoy that experience. Now I realise that I've done her a massive dis-service, she is going to grow up to be completely helpless if I don't teach her how to do things for herself. I do want her to appreciate money, at the moment she has no appreciation at all.

Sorry for being so long winded, but I'm sure that there are people on here who grew up in the 80s and 90s like me who had similar experiences - I would appreciate some advice on how to achieve the correct balance with my child.

Big Bag of Chips

If you only have 1, or if she's the eldest its easy to let things slip! My eldest is 10, youngest is 7. I've only really started to get them to do stuff now, like empty & load dishwasher (I end up tidying it all up after they've done it anyway, but at least they're doing it). They clean off the table, sweep the floor, tidy their rooms, put their clothes in the wash basket, general tidy up of their stuff, book shelves etc.

They don't do these things everyday, but that is more down to me than them! They get pocket money of €5 every week, dependent on me being happy with the amount of tidying up that has been done all week.

10 is still pretty young, you haven't ruined her just yet!! Still plenty of time to train her in!

Queen-Mise

Basically look at that your child needs to be able to do all the jobs you can around the house. It is your responsibility to teach them, them all. Probably not all in the one day though 

Intersperse the yucky jobs with nicer ones. Break down big jobs into smaller steps. Within reason don't accept badly done jobs (want to avoid that helplessness road also).

For my tuppence worth, I don't believe in the idea of chores. Not everyday would I have energy to oversee jobs done. And not everyday would I need or want help. Same idea as toddler, pick your battles. Get them to help you on days you are blessed with patience of a saint; or especially on the days you wish you had 12 hands.

Jobs could be anything. Kids have lots of energy, so brilliant for sending them up and down stairs for\with stuff . Clothes in from line, emptying dryer/dishwasher, helping clean fridge, washing/drying up, dusting, sweeping floor is difficult for both my kids, using peeler for veg/potatoes, microwaving beans/peas for a dinner (esp ring pull ones), putting stuff in recycling bin, hoovering, setting table, clearing table, grating cheese for a meal, etc. One of the jobs our kids nearly always do is putting away food shopping.

Start them baking. My 10 year old made banana/walnut muffins and chocolate muffins today, only part I did was bowl on water & oven. The instant packages are too simple. They learn so much baking. Start them cooking simple meals, beans on toast, scrambled eggs in microwave.

My goal for this summer is too get my 14 year old boy able to make a fry.

bp

My 3 year old puts the mats on the table for each meal, this is their chore and must bring her bowl to the sink and cup once done. I don't see any harm in giving kids chores - even picking up toys at night, I always make them help.

Maybe start small, clearing the table, or sweeping the kitchen or something.

December2012

My kids are younger than yours but I have found that by praising the things that my 8 year old does (bringing her dishes to the sink), the younger one tends to also follow.

They do some tidying, and are good at putting away their shoes!

We have a cleaner come in, so for an hour beforehand we all do a big tidy up. I'm starting to call doing laundry "fashionista work" so they can learn about the need to take care of clothes, and they love their clothes!

I remind them that they have to respect the work that we do, and not make the cleaners job harder, and that seems to click with them.

LegacyUser

for what it's worth the above posts are spot on on what we do in this house too,

op you haven't let your child down badly, the fact you are here asking shows the opposite imo,

i would advise op try and tailor the chores to your particular children and their own ability, e.g. my 7 year old is well able to dry the dishes after they are washed but i don't let her do the breakables as she would literally drop over 50% of them, so instead she does the plastic dishes/cutlery...etc

she is hopeless at folding clothes so instead i have her collect all the dirty ones and put them into the wash basket, or i have her pair up socks while i fold them, they love joining in with what you are doing most of the time no matter what their age. especially at 10 if she feels like she is the only one doing the work she'll be less motivated into doing it, (just like you or i would)


like the poster above with mine every chore counts towards her "weekly chores" which gets her €5 in pocket money on a friday (it means she has money for the weekend and also works well during school term as an end of week treat), she saves this to buy all the toys/magazines/treats she wants, we only buy her extra's if she does something extra nice/well behaved or her birthday and christmas (they are 6 months apart so that helps), so it can take her 6 weeks of saving to buy a €30 toy, it's really helped her math skills too which for a 10 year old can be so handy.

Coopaloop

I think it's great for her to do a few bits for you, and earn some pocket money for it too. When I was younger I used to come up with a list of stuff that I could do for my mam (in exchange for money) ironing, dusting, dishes, cleaning my room. I was delighted with the money and my mam was grateful for the help.
My own two and a half year old takes it upon himself to 'help' me all the time, when I empty the dishwasher, he has to hand me all the knives, forks and spoons, actually got really angry when I did it without him the other day, ha. He also helps me hanging out the washing, by handing me the clothes from the basket, and of course he love's the sweeping brush and hoover. We also do 'tidy up time' before bed and he picks up all his toys. Long may it last eh

Staph

My younger sister and I were home first after primary school and had to get dinner cooked as one of our tasks. They might like doing certain jobs over others, but that's the reality of all household chores! I suppose it's important to mix them up and acknowledge some are worse than others. There are many tasks that you can get your child to do.
-Preparing/peeling veg for dinner and maybe getting them to help with checking if they're cooked, so they learn the whole process of meal preparation.
-Hoovering and dusting
-Hanging out washing, emptying tumble dryer, dashing out to the line when it starts to rain!
-Small gardening tasks, like weeding or raking grass, leaves
-Washing saucepans
-Maybe they could learn how to change their bed linen
-Recycling and emptying the bin

heldel00

If parents don't teach their children a bit of responsibility then they are doing them a real disservice.
I'm the oldest child, both parents were working so it was a case of all hands on deck. We all had jobs - peeling spuds, clearing off table after dinner, loading and emptying dishwasher, setting out breakfast things for next morning, leaving school shoes by the door (these could never be found in the mornings), feeding dog, looking after the goldfish etc...
One memory that really sticks with me is mam having a big basket of odd socks, dumping them out in the middle of the floor and all children sitting matching them up. One less job for her I suppose.

Bit off topic but when I moved to college I was sharing a room with a girl from school. I couldn't believe how helpless she was, left everything lying around after her, used the same towel unwashed towel the whole year, never changed bedclothes.
Her side of the room was like a bomb site, never even attempted to make a dinner just ate takeaways or scabbed off me but the breaking point for me was when .... I walked into the room one Sunday evening after being home for weekend and there in the middle of the floor was a pair of her knickers with a soiled sanitary towel still stuck into the pants!!! Just clatty. No other word to describe it. I went off the head but things didn't improve.
Needless to say we didn't share again the following year.

When mine were about 7, it was up to them to make their own beds and place all laundry in laundry basket in bathroom. By 10 they were to keep their own rooms tidy. (I did sneak in once a week to do it myself, but not while they were in the house!) They also laid the table from when they were tall enough to reach it and brought their used dishes to the sink afterwards. From about age 10, they helped with the cooking, baking and other kitchen chores. Not every day, but at least once a week and weren't forced to, just asked to help with preparing a fun dish, like a stirfry or french toast.

For me, all the above wasn't about getting work out of them, it was about teaching them how to look after themselves.

Never make it a condition that in order to receive pocket money that they HAVE to do chores. And never lose the head if the chores are not done every day!

uck51js9zml2yt

My 5 year old takes stuff to the sink and bin, tidies his room, puts clothes in the washing basket and gets things for us from different rooms when needed.
It's part of being in a family. He gets a thank you when done.
I'm surprised seeing people make such a big thing of it.

Chores for 10

Chores for 10 wrote: »

I'm looking for advice regarding suitable chores I can give my 10 year old daughter.

Children respond initially to chores the more involved you are with them - I have found. So with my children from a young age I did not just throw a chore at them but started off by involving them in _me_ doing the chore. Whether it be some kind of cleaning - or cooking.

That way they are having time with you - which kids crave and enjoy anyway - they are learning the basics of the chores - and you get to supervise initially too without making them _feel_ watched and supervised.

As for what chores are suitable - well with that initial level of supervision there are few chores that would not be. I would probably leave anything involving strong chemicals until last such as oven cleaning and the like though

But the majority of what you do around the house you can likely involve them in. Want to hover and then mop the laminate floors? Get them to do a sweep up first to get the big stuff that the hoover and the mop would be better off without. Cooking? Deligate some chopping, whisking, mixing and stuff like that. Cleaning the bathroom? Get an old toothbrush and get them to scrub into the corners and between tiles and under toilet rims where the main cleaning will miss. The list goes on.

And certainly a minimum standard of cleanliness and daily routing around their own bedroom - study - and play spaces is a must. Even if that means putting up a list on the walls of said rooms detailing the points 1-5 that must be done daily and 1-3 that must be done weekly in those locations - for example.

And even more serious chores that are beyond their age can at least be done in their presence and with their involvement. My daughter is turning 6 and - although I would never send her off to do it alone or at all - she is certainly _capable_ of changing the fuse in a toaster or television plug - to give just one example.

And if there are 4 screws involved I make sure she does one. If there is an old fuse to pull out I get her to do it. Easier with her little fingers anyway. And if there is a new one to push in - I push in one end and she does the other. And she holds the wires in place when changing a plug while I screw down the bits that hold them. She has even helped strip the outside of a wire with a wire stripper.

So yes - start by being inclusive and involved - and over time you will see yourself which chores and activities the child is capable of being sent off to do alone - or to be allocated on a regular basis.

Chores for 10 wrote: »

I think subconsciously we've never asked our daughter to do anything around the house because want her to be child and to enjoy that experience.

The great thing about introducing them to chores in an inclusive and involved way - rather than just dumping it on them - is that they _do_ enjoy the experience. It is time shared with their parent - which kids love - and time where you are being upbeat, proud of them, heaping on praise and pride and guidance - and they love that too.

And it makes them feel part of the family - involved - and valued - which has no end of value too. Especially when you make sure to keep dropping praise comments into everything such as "We got it all done - what a great team we are" and "when we all work together we get much more done than when we work alone" and so on and so on.

Chores for 10 wrote: »

Sorry for being so long winded

You reap what you sow :-p. I was long winded in reply.

olaola

One piece of advice I did hear (the fellow from the Sean Moncrief show) and it did stick with me. Your kids shouldn't get paid to do chores, whey are members of the family and they must contribute to the daily running of the home. But you can use the pocket money as ransom if they don't step up to their 'responsibilities'. Which I think is fair enough!

uck51js9zml2yt

olaola wrote: »

One piece of advice I did hear (the fellow from the Sean Moncrief show) and it did stick with me. Your kids shouldn't get paid to do chores, whey are members of the family and they must contribute to the daily running of the home. But you can use the pocket money as ransom if they don't step up to their 'responsibilities'. Which I think is fair enough!

I heard him on this as well. He talks a lot of sense. None of this "previous little snowflake" rubbish:)

olaola

Jamison Bumpy Quarterback wrote: »

I heard him on this as well. He talks a lot of sense. None of this "previous little snowflake" rubbish:)

Doesn't he! And it all just seems like good solid common sense, kinda wish he lived next door...

Roesy

My eldest will be 3 in November. She puts her clothes in the washing basket and dirty dishes in the sink. We had a one in one out rule with toys where she had to help put whatever she was playing with back before taking out the next you. This has fallen a bit by the wayside now that my one year old is able to pull out toys! She likes putting away cutlery when we're emptying the dishwasher(obviously I do the sharps!). She also likes to help wash vegetables for dinner and stir stuff. We involve her in household stuff as much as possible and she enjoys helping at the moment. We don't make a big deal of it. She obviously gets praise and thanks for helping. We're hoping that because she is used to doing little jobs from an early age that it will just become second nature.

uck51js9zml2yt

olaola wrote: »

Doesn't he! And it all just seems like good solid common sense, kinda wish he lived next door...

Says a lot about parents who are afraid to do their job and be parents that we need to be told what to do. We suddenly find out it's just the exercising of common sense and are amazed !

LegacyUser

Have you checked out the Montessori list of chores for kids? Just google something "montessori kids chores" and you should get it. It will give you some good ideas. Amazing how we underestimate them tbh.
My 2 year old helps empty the dishwasher but I admit I'm guilty of just doing stuff myself to get it done quickly. I need to try harder.