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Anybody been through the same thing??

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  • 19-07-2016 12:52pm
    #1
    Lucyboo56
    Registered Users Posts: 2 ✭


    Recently my brother who was adopted as a baby has came into our lives.We are so happy about this and things have been really great so far (2months).Everything has been as we dreamed it would be apart from my brothers partner she fully supported him in everything to find us weve welcomed her as a sister also but lately she isnt happy with the way things have been going,She thinks things are happening too quickly doesnt like him coming to visit us on his own which im finding really strange apparently she feels our relationship is inappropiate.He shares his feelings etc with me which i dont think shes comfortable with.She has told him she isnt supporting him anymore as she isnt happy with this.Now im stuck as to what to do?Do i give him space to sort this out himself as it is his relationship,both my sister and i have tried to sort things with her but quiet impossible!Any thoughts on this would be really great!


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    #2
    kathy finn
    Registered Users Posts: 324 ✭✭kathy finn


    Hi,
    I would let them sort it themselfs and stay out of it. 2 months is not alot of time to form a bond with your brother, you are strangers really.
    Tell him to talk to his partner about this and keep contact with your brother but don't rush it.
    Your still in the Honeymoon phase but things will settle down i promise


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    #3
    Lucyboo56
    Registered Users Posts: 2 ✭Lucyboo56


    Thank you for replying to me!i have stepped back i feel really bad but am hoping it will work out eventually!


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    #4
    Ghekko
    Closed Accounts Posts: 942 ✭✭✭Ghekko


    Aw that's a shame. I fully supported dh in his search for his bm and was thrilled when she was happy he found her. He has 2 brothers and 2 sisters and they have been amazing. It's been nearly a year now and i would fully support Dh in forming his relationship with his 'new' family. To be honest I'd move in with them myself, they are that welcoming and nice to us! It's great your brother can talk to you and feel comfortable in all your company. His partner needs to step back and let you all get to know each other at a pace that suits your brother and you, his new family. Dh's reunion was full on and we were at his sisters wedding a few short months after meeting her. There he met lots of relatives who have been great. So while a slow pace suits some, ours moved very fast and we have stayed at bm's house and her at ours. It's working well so far. If your brother is willing to speak to his partner and he wants to continue his relationship with you all as he has been, then surely she needs to understand this. She may be jealous that he is focussing his attention on you all but he can't help that - it's a hugely exciting time for you all. Hard to know what to do but try not to let the relationship go stale because of her carry on. Ask him what he wants to do going forward if she is adamant that she won't support him. To be honest he won't thank her in the long run for putting up this ridiculous obstacle in your new found relationship.


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