Humanist - Emergency!

Obstacle1

Hi All,

So I've tried basically all the humanists on the humanist society of Ireland website to no avail. I though I'd left loads of time as I'm not getting married until July of 2017, but they're all booked up!
Does anyone know of anywhere/anyone else where I could find a humanist?
Apologies if this isn't the right section!

Markcheese

Sheesh.. I got to buy a little book of general profound sounding meaningless quotes.... and set my self up for weddings ,funerals and naming ceremonies... as a human ,i'm fully qualified... (-:
Can you rope in a friend ??
Or just use the registrar,the one we had was great...

Best of luck ,and dont panic...

uck51js9zml2yt

There are rumours that Gordon is a human and not a hamster , maybe he could help

magicbastarder

Obstacle1 wrote: »

Does anyone know of anywhere/anyone else where I could find a humanist?

if you want them to perform the legal ceremony too, they have to be licenced solemnisers who are members of the humanist society - which i assume constitutes the list on their site, so i suspect you're out of luck.

Qs

I had this issue and ended up getting a spiritualist. They will do non-religious weddings too.

Typer Monkey

You could use a HSE registrar in your venue if you are getting married Monday to Friday. We did this and it was a lovely ceremony. If you're getting married at the weekend you could get married in the registry office with just 2 witnesses on any day and then hire someone to perform an 'unofficial' ceremony at your venue on your wedding day. There are companies that offer this service now. 'A Beautiful Ceremony' are one you could try. I was at a ceremony officiated by one of their celebrants and it was nice

dori_dormer

New solomisers get added all the time so keep an eye on the list. My sister had terrible trouble getting one for sept 17 and she's been contacting them all for the last 6 months trying to get her name down in case of cancellations etc. they are extremely busy!

recedite

Qs wrote: »

I had this issue and ended up getting a spiritualist. They will do non-religious weddings too.

Out of the frying pan and into the fire
How did that go?
I suppose you can tell them to sign the papers/book and then shut-up afterwards and just take the money and go. But you can do that with a priest as well?

smacl

Markcheese wrote: »

Or just use the registrar,the one we had was great...

Likewise, very down to earth, warm and no-nonsense. The ceremonies at the couple of humanist weddings I've been to have been dull as dishwater. To my mind mimicking a religious tradition without any actual religion is about as appealing as a vegetarian replacing mince-meat with Quorn in a burger. Why???

Markcheese

smacl wrote:

Likewise, very down to earth, warm and no-nonsense. The ceremonies at the couple of humanist weddings I've been to have been dull as dishwater. To my mind mimicking a religious tradition without any actual religion is about as appealing as a vegetarian replacing mince-meat with Quorn in a burger. Why???

I'd forgotton about the monday to friday thing... op do you want to give a rough where and when (and week or weekend ) just in case someones got an idea or contact...
My big sister :-) got married in the registry office in cork , (we thought it was great) and then bused everyone to the reception.. (didnt like dublin office as much...) ,

recedite

smacl wrote: »

Why???

AFAIK The solemniser would go to your chosen location for the ceremony, but with the registrar, you go to their registry office. The self-employed solemniser would also be more flexible about working weekends.

smacl

recedite wrote: »

AFAIK The solemniser would go to your chosen location for the ceremony, but with the registrar, you go to their registry office. The self-employed solemniser would also be more flexible about working weekends.

Fair enough, though AFAIK you have to go to the registry office at some point anyway, and how solemn exactly do you want a wedding to be? FWIW, myself and herself got married after being together for about 18 years on the advice of our solicitor to best protect the inheritance rights of our kids. While it was a great excuse for a party, we both would have preferred not to get married if it hadn't been a necessity. Each to their own, but I certainly wouldn't want any paid-for third party stranger pontificating on the wondrous nature of the relationship myself and my true love enjoy in front of my friends and family. Its nothing we can't say for ourselves.

Qs

recedite wrote: »

Out of the frying pan and into the fire
How did that go?
I suppose you can tell them to sign the papers/book and then shut-up afterwards and just take the money and go. But you can do that with a priest as well?

It was great. The woman who did it met us and we told her we didn't want a religious ceremony and she tailored it to our needs. Combined a naming ceremony for our kid too. She sent us the script and my wife made edits etc. Got all the readings, music, etc we wanted. Very, very flexible.

Speedwell

My husband and I were married by the registrar in Aberdeen while I was there on an extended business trip. We only wanted a small, quiet, personal, thoroughly godless ceremony since we were both in our mid-40s and every single person who would have come, except my boss, would have needed a plane ticket to get there anyway. We were able to order simple flowers to carry to the ceremony room, and the registrar, a good sport, took pictures of us with my phone camera, heh. It was sweet and we were happy with it.

I asked around and people said there were nice facilities at the registrars' here in Ireland, too, depending on where you go. I would definitely try that.

iguana

I'd check with the pagans and spiritualists. For a few years, humanists couldn't legally solemnise a wedding but pagans could and they tended to be very willing to do non-religious ceremonies.

recedite

smacl wrote: »

Fair enough, though AFAIK you have to go to the registry office at some point anyway, and how solemn exactly do you want a wedding to be?

Well "solemniser" is only the name, they could just as easily have called it something else. The info here indicates that somebody has to return the completed civil marriage form afterwards to the registrar, but that is also the case with church weddings.
So the moment this form gets signed is the moment that the marriage is officially made from a civil point of view. Whether that be in a sacristy at the church, or in a registry office, or in your own chosen exotic party location with the solemniser in attendance. If money is no object, then the latter may be best.

smacl

recedite wrote: »

Well "solemniser" is only the name, they could just as easily have called it something else. The info here indicates that somebody has to return the completed civil marriage form afterwards to the registrar, but that is also the case with church weddings.
So the moment this form gets signed is the moment that the marriage is officially made from a civil point of view. Whether that be in a sacristy at the church, or in a registry office, or in your own chosen exotic party location with the solemniser in attendance. If money is no object, then the latter may be best.

I was being slightly tongue-in-cheek. Whether a solemniser / humanist / white witch or even priest adds value to the proceedings depends very much on what the couple want out of the day in terms of formal ceremony. One big advantage of not being religious is you can ditch all that pomp and circumstance if it isn't what you're after. I think the notion that spending more money on this type of thing will make for a better day remains to be seen, and in many ways is little more than kowtowing to social expectation.

D0NNELLY

just pretend and go to a church?
humanist.. priest... no-ones listening anyway

recedite

smacl wrote: »

I think the notion that spending more money on this type of thing will make for a better day remains to be seen, and in many ways is little more than kowtowing to social expectation.

Maybe you're still not getting the point that you would be paying the money to make the the wedding happen when and where you want it to happen. The only proviso is that it must be a public place.

Obviously its a slightly cheaper alternative to go into a registry office, then throw the party later at a different location, and maybe stall that until the preferred time or day too.

But in a way its more genuine if the legal marriage happens at the same time and place as the celebration. But then you have to pay the call-out fee to the solemniser.

Hotblack Desiato

D0NNELLY wrote: »

just pretend and go to a church?
humanist.. priest... no-ones listening anyway

Churches all have their own 'spiritual' or whatever requirements. Most insist that at least one spouse is a paid-up member. Catholic churches insist you undergo their pre-marriage course. Not everyone who is legally free to marry (e.g. divorced) is allowed to marry in most churches.

And why perpetuate the power and social standing of these woo merchants anyway? That goes for the spiritualists too

smacl

recedite wrote: »

But in a way its more genuine if the legal marriage happens at the same time and place as the celebration. But then you have to pay the call-out fee to the solemniser.

Don't agree, two of the best weddings I was at were where the registry office bit was done separately. Why does having a solemniser who really equates to little more than a proxy priest (i.e. woo figure of authority to whom you have no connection) make things more genuine? Give me the civil servant who represents the actual authority of the state any time.

recedite

Its just that the woo figure is licensed to sign the piece of paper which makes the wedding legal.
But I agree, the exact timing of the paperwork is not something to worry too much about.

endacl

Have you checked with the Klingons, OP?

That would be cool.

PhoenixParker

There are a number of groups with ministers under the "religious" umbrella who will perform non-religious ceremonies.
Interfaith being one of them who haven't been mentioned here.
Download the list of solemnisers and start calling anyone you think might be a possibility.

Civil registrars will come to your venue, but only Monday - Friday, so if you're wedding is a weekday that's worth investigating too.

I'd also suggest moving this thread to the weddings and marriages forum as you'll likely get a better response and more ideas there.

listermint

smacl wrote: »

Don't agree, two of the best weddings I was at were where the registry office bit was done separately. Why does having a solemniser who really equates to little more than a proxy priest (i.e. woo figure of authority to whom you have no connection) make things more genuine? Give me the civil servant who represents the actual authority of the state any time.

Meh, ive seen boring civil servants too.

I'm not sure of your point.

Registry offices themselves are boring as f.

anothernight

listermint wrote: »

Meh, ive seen boring civil servants too.

I'm not sure of your point.

Registry offices themselves are boring as f.

I think he means doing the legal bit first, separate from the celebration with guests. That way what guests see isn't bound by anyone's rules and the ceremony can be exactly how the couple wants it to be.

That's what I'm doing. My officiant will be a friend who is a professional comedian, so the legal marriage will be done at a registry office a few days before the wedding. This practice is quite common in some countries.

smacl

listermint wrote: »

Meh, ive seen boring civil servants too.

I'm not sure of your point.

Registry offices themselves are boring as f.

Yep, which is a good reason not to invite civil servants to your wedding celebration or drag your friends and family to the registry office.

Hotblack Desiato

smacl wrote: »

Yep, which is a good reason not to invite civil servants to your wedding celebration or drag your friends and family to the registry office.

FFS, it's far better than dragging them into a church. It wouldn't be acceptable to denigrate people on the basis of their gender or nationality so doing the same on the basis of who their employer happens to be shoudn't be on either. Religious employers excepted

Is it still the done thing for the cultural catholics to invite the priest to the reception and get him to do a little speech and feed him with drink at the couple's expense? (probably better in that order)

smacl

Hotblack Desiato wrote: »

FFS, it's far better than dragging them into a church.

Best wedding I was at we were first dragged to a beach on the Clare coast and then to the adjoining pub for a two day party. No church, priest, registry office, civil servant. Minor bit of woo with an unexpected appearance as the straw boys wandered in around midnight, but all good. Also one of the cheapest weddings with the food being a huge cauldron of stew laid on by the pub who were delighted to have a packed house for two nights.

Is it still the done thing for the cultural catholics to invite the priest to the reception and get him to do a little speech and feed him with drink at the couple's expense? (probably better in that order)

Seems to have been the case at many weddings I've been to, whereas cultural ex-catholics drag along the humanist for a similar spiel. Progress of sorts I guess...

Hotblack Desiato

smacl wrote: »

straw boys

What are they? Any relation to straw men?

Second Toughest in_the Freshers

Alayah Billions Stagecoach wrote: »

There are rumours that Gordon is a human and not a hamster , maybe he could help

Are we human, or are we hamster?

Qs

Hotblack Desiato wrote: »

Churches all have their own 'spiritual' or whatever requirements. Most insist that at least one spouse is a paid-up member. Catholic churches insist you undergo their pre-marriage course. Not everyone who is legally free to marry (e.g. divorced) is allowed to marry in most churches.

And why perpetuate the power and social standing of these woo merchants anyway? That goes for the spiritualists too

As soon as the Spiritualists start stopping kids getting into schools and trying to push their agenda into public policy I'll start worrying about perpetuating their "power and social standing". Right now they haven't much of either.

Hotblack Desiato

Best nip it in the bud, same as that horoscope and crystals crap.

fannymagee

dori_dormer wrote: »

New solomisers get added all the time so keep an eye on the list. My sister had terrible trouble getting one for sept 17 and she's been contacting them all for the last 6 months trying to get her name down in case of cancellations etc. they are extremely busy!

I am one of these. Happy to help if I can :-)

recedite

Are you just touting for business here, or have you something to say?

Giacomo McGubbin

How's does one qualify as one of these "solemnisers" ? Sounds like a great number.

fannymagee

recedite wrote: »

Are you just touting for business here, or have you something to say?

I don't think there's anything I could possibly say that's more relevant to this thread...

Hotblack Desiato

I keep reading a certain word on this thread as 'sodomisers'.

I blame the catholic church

recedite

Giacomo McGubbin wrote: »

How's does one qualify as one of these "solemnisers" ? Sounds like a great number.

The main thing is to convince the authorities that you are not just doing it for the money. Because that would disqualify you.

Giacomo McGubbin

recedite wrote: »

The main thing is to convince the authorities that you are not just doing it for the money. Because that would disqualify you.

What's the requirements ?

Peregrinus

Giacomo McGubbin wrote: »

What's the requirements ?

You have to get nominated by a religious or secular body.

If you're nominated by a religious body, the only legal requirements are that you are a member of the religion concerned, and you are over 18. Of course, the religious body may have its own additional rules about who it will nominate. Typically they only nominate their own ministers or clergy.

If you're nominated by a secular body, there are a few additional requirements. Again, you have to be over 18, and a member of the body concerned. And the body has to certify that you are "a fit and proper person to celebrate weddings", and that you were selected trained and accredited to celebrate weddings under procedures that the body has previously agreed with the Registrar General.

So far as I know the Humanist Association of Ireland is the only secular body that has agreed selection, training and accreditation procedures with the Registrar General, so at present they're the only secular body than can nominate solemnisers.

smacl

Hotblack Desiato wrote: »

I keep reading a certain word on this thread as 'sodomisers'.

I blame the catholic church

Dry cleaning bill on its way to you for cup of coffee just spilt down my shirt

recedite

Peregrinus wrote: »

If you're nominated by a religious body, the only legal requirements are that you are a member of the religion concerned, and you are over 18. Of course, the religious body may have its own additional rules about who it will nominate. Typically they only nominate their own ministers or clergy.

What if you are the only member of the religion concerned?
Suppose you were the Head Spiritualist of the Giacoma McGubbin Coven of Celtic Witchslappers, then could you nominate yourself, or would you have to get accreditation from the other spiritualists.

robindch

Hotblack Desiato wrote: »

I keep reading a certain word on this thread as 'sodomisers'.

I'm sure Freud would have had something to say about that.

Peregrinus

recedite wrote: »

What if you are the only member of the religion concerned?
Suppose you were the Head Spiritualist of the Giacoma McGubbin Coven of Celtic Witchslappers, then could you nominate yourself, or would you have to get accreditation from the other spiritualists.

Well, I say "religion". What the Act actually requires is nomination by a "religious body", which it defines as "an organised group of people, members of which meet regularly for common religious worship". So, if you're the only member of the religion, you don't have a "religious body" that will nominate you.

But, yeah, a very small religious body can nominate solemnisers. Many do.

Hotblack Desiato

robindch wrote: »

I'm sure Freud would have had something to say about that.

He might; alas, due to his death, intercourse with him is impossible

fannymagee

Hotblack Desiato wrote: »

I keep reading a certain word on this thread as 'sodomisers'.

I blame the catholic church

It's some craic when someone asks me "What do you do?" in a noisy pub. Tends to always go quiet just as I answer ;-)