Son - very bad experience in Gaeltacht

Hannaho

Hi! Just wondering if there is anything I could or should do about this. Son and daughter went to Gaeltacht - daughter had been several times before. Sons first time - age 12. While he was there two older boys 1ish bullied a younger, and I believe, much smaller boy - made him drink his own pee, and put a lass around his neck and dragged him around, hit him very badly on the back with a particular type of slap - can't remember what the name of it was. My son said they and the other younger boys couldn't call for help as they were afraid. Finally, one of the instructors heard the boy being banged on the back and knocked to the ground, and came in - I think they were sent home. My son found the whole thing a bit disturbing as, I head, did the other younger boys. The older boys also based re having Ecstasy. On top of all this, I found my son's treatment by the staff there bizarre. He didn't much like the food there and whispered to his sister on one occasion, asking her if he could take some of her bread. The staff member didn't believe that he had been asking his sister for some of her bread, and sent him out of the dining hall without food, he also got mention, and wasn't allowed to go to supper that night because he had gotten dentition for whispering to his sister that he wanted some of her bread, so basically he wasn't allowed any food from 4.30 p.m. that day until 8.00 a.m. the next day because he had been caught whispering to his sister that he wanted some of her bread. His older sister who never supports him, rang me really worried about him saying that he was crying and saying he was hungry, and just wanted to be left alone - not like him at all. My daughter said one of the ARd Cineriei (not sure how you spell it) had shouted at hime that he was an idiot. When I contacted the school, they said they would have to investigate, but my son was too afraid of them to say anything - though my daughter spoke up. My son described the principal as intimidating and never smiling, and the one who had ordered him to go to detention and not stay for supper. All seems quite harsh, particularly the food issue, and on top of the bullying my son witnessed, it was a bad Gaelteacht experience. I don't know if there is anything I can do about it, but has anyone else had similar experiences.

ArKl0w

Reading that,I thought it was a 19th century workhouse
It's entirely unacceptable

Katgurl

Oh my god. This is horrendous stuff. I don't know what to advise. How is your son now? You must be distraught.

I don't know what to advise. I'll see what some of my teaching friends suggest. This can't be allowed though.

Turtle_

Would you consider contacting Tusla about what went on? I'd say they'd be very interested in hearing about what went on, including the severity of the bullying witnessed and the way your son was banned from eating. The college sounds like they've completely failed in their duty of care to your son.

I'd also contact your son's school and tell them about his experience and ask them to avoid recommending the college to any other students.

Tell every parent you know what went on, and the name of the college, and that they were complicit in bullying young children.

lazygal

I would approach the school in writing, writing out what you've said here. There should be no need to involve your son, if as it sounds like you know what he's said is true. Adults can't be allowed to get away with facilitating this kind of abusive system. I'd give them maybe a week or two to respond and then I'd take further action. Maybe a report to Tusla or something.

Is there a monitoring body for the gaeltacht schools? Or any inspection system overseeing standards and behaviour of those working with the children to complain to?

Penny Tration

If a child was made to drink his own urine and had a rope around his neck by another child, unsupervised, your son was left without food and was called an idiot by a ceannaire, you need to do two things:

Contact TUSLA. Write everything down (and have your daughter and hopefully son do the same) while it's fresh in your mind and tell them everything.


Write to the school, detailing what happened and stating that you want this investigated and resolved. Send it by registered post, so it has to be signed for.


I'm not sure what else to advise, but I hope your son and daughter are doing okay.

silverharp

sounds awful , it doesnt sound like a normal Irish college where they stay in a house. Start documenting everything and demand that the college investigates this. Leave a strong hint that you will take this to the newspapers or Police even. Ive a son around the same age and I'd be apoplectic if I heard hed been refused a main meal as a punishment.

cazzer22

That is AWFUL. I spent many weeks at the Gaeltacht during my teacher training and I have to say it's an outrage to hear of that going on. I would definitely consider making a formal complaint and contacting the agency responsible. Absolutely horrific.

evolving_doors

Your child was in their care, as a result he's been put through the mill and is still suffering. Document everything and how they acted,.
Did you sign a contract?
Is there anything about their responsibilities on their website etc.?
In a way though, the college acted responsibly by sending the other kids home straightaway no?
The food thing can be a bit tricky to discern, is there a zero tolerence toward speaking English? Did he ask for bread in English?
Leaving aside the incidents with your son, what was your daughter's experience of the college as a whole?

The Princess Bride

My son is at a Gaeltacht as I write and if I thought for one minute he was being made drink urine or had a rope around his neck, it's the gardaí I'd be ringing.
Totally unacceptable, especially with all the guidelines nowadays for garda vetting and child protection policies.

Not good enough.

ahnow

I'd be getting the gardai involved as well, that is shocking!

anewme

Ps! Give the lad a big hug!

Taltos

Mod Note
Moved from PI. Please read the local charter before posting.

Samaris

Awful experience for your son, I hope he's doing okay, and he's not too badly upset by what went on. The kids that did the bullying sound like rotten little brats, and the adults should have been paying more attention to what was going on.

A couple of points to clarify some of the questions raised in here - I live in a Gaeltacht myself, and am neighbours to a housing for Gaeltacht students (the population of this area quadruples in the summer with hordes of students!).

It is quite normal in this Gaeltacht region for Irish-speaking families to house groups of students, so they do live in houses rather than a boarding school environment. The families house and feed the students in groups of 10 or more (either all girls or all boys) for a few weeks if they have the space for them. My neighbours, for instance, have a dormer-type extension with bunks for students and feed them dinner (and I think breakfast), although they get lunch in their school.

Secondly, there is an absolute zero tolerance on English being used. I don't have Irish myself, and I was given a heads up by the neighbour (who is also my landlord) to be cautious speaking English outside when I was having some friends over, because the students shouldn't be hearing any English. I suspect they get warned that their neighbours don't have the Irish as well, so not to strike up conversation with us (which is quite fine by me, it'd be very awkward to have to use pidgin sign-language to indicate I can't speak to them!). They get fined for a first offence and can be sent home on a second, which given it's a costly exercise would be unfortunate. What is -probable- in terms of that is that they suspected he was whispering to her in English and cracked down. I guess when they only have a set of kids for a fortnight/a month, they don't get to know the individual children very well.

Don't get me wrong, by the way, I'm not defending what happened, it was a rotten way to deal with it, but I thought I'd clear up some of the questions regarding what's normal. I doubt the extent of what happened in this case is anything close to normal; the three sets of gangs of lads that have been here this summer (the last lot arrived yesterday) have seemed a happy enough lot.

Best of luck to your son and daughter, and I hope they haven't been totally put off Gaeltachts.

judeboy101

Samaris wrote: »

Awful experience for your son, I hope he's doing okay, and he's not too badly upset by what went on. The kids that did the bullying sound like rotten little brats, and the adults should have been paying more attention to what was going on.

A couple of points to clarify some of the questions raised in here - I live in a Gaeltacht myself, and am neighbours to a housing for Gaeltacht students (the population of this area quadruples in the summer with hordes of students!).

It is quite normal in this Gaeltacht region for Irish-speaking families to house groups of students, so they do live in houses rather than a boarding school environment. The families house and feed the students in groups of 10 or more (either all girls or all boys) for a few weeks if they have the space for them. My neighbours, for instance, have a dormer-type extension with bunks for students and feed them dinner (and I think breakfast), although they get lunch in their school.

Secondly, there is an absolute zero tolerance on English being used. I don't have Irish myself, and I was given a heads up by the neighbour (who is also my landlord) to be cautious speaking English outside when I was having some friends over, because the students shouldn't be hearing any English. I suspect they get warned that their neighbours don't have the Irish as well, so not to strike up conversation with us (which is quite fine by me, it'd be very awkward to have to use pidgin sign-language to indicate I can't speak to them!). They get fined for a first offence and can be sent home on a second, which given it's a costly exercise would be unfortunate. What is -probable- in terms of that is that they suspected he was whispering to her in English and cracked down. I guess when they only have a set of kids for a fortnight/a month, they don't get to know the individual children very well.

Don't get me wrong, by the way, I'm not defending what happened, it was a rotten way to deal with it, but I thought I'd clear up some of the questions regarding what's normal. I doubt the extent of what happened in this case is anything close to normal; the three sets of gangs of lads that have been here this summer (the last lot arrived yesterday) have seemed a happy enough lot.

Best of luck to your son and daughter, and I hope they haven't been totally put off Gaeltachts.

Wait, your landlord warned you not to speak English?? Ffs talk about cultural apartheid.

TonyStark

cazzer22 wrote: »

That is AWFUL. I spent many weeks at the Gaeltacht during my teacher training and I have to say it's an outrage to hear of that going on. I would definitely consider making a formal complaint and contacting the agency responsible. Absolutely horrific.

A formal complaint... ?my first reaction to reading this is to make a statement to the guards. Your son witnessed an assault. Let the cops involve whoever they need to then.

This is outrageous and sounds like a prison.

Sam Kade

The part I find confusing is how they made the boy drink his own pee, how did they manage to collect it? Did they make him pee into a glass?

RossieMan

It sounds a little far-fetched to me to be honest. I'm sure some of it is true, but some of it just seems too far gone to have actually occurred.

Samaris

judeboy101 wrote: »

Wait, your landlord warned you not to speak English?? Ffs talk about cultural apartheid.

No, I took it as quite reasonable in this case. It's bad for the students to be hearing someone talking English outside the window (our house is in the grounds of theirs, and it's very audible if I was chatting outside the door to the kids inside). It is an Irish-speaking region and it only affects me for a few months in the year. All I need to do is move around to the side of the house and chat there out of hearing of the students.

Bearing in mind that the kids will be fined or sent home if they speak English, it's more keeping temptation out of the way really :P

Turtle_

Samaris wrote: »

Awful experience for your son, I hope he's doing okay, and he's not too badly upset by what went on. The kids that did the bullying sound like rotten little brats, and the adults should have been paying more attention to what was going on.

A couple of points to clarify some of the questions raised in here - I live in a Gaeltacht myself, and am neighbours to a housing for Gaeltacht students (the population of this area quadruples in the summer with hordes of students!).

It is quite normal in this Gaeltacht region for Irish-speaking families to house groups of students, so they do live in houses rather than a boarding school environment. The families house and feed the students in groups of 10 or more (either all girls or all boys) for a few weeks if they have the space for them. My neighbours, for instance, have a dormer-type extension with bunks for students and feed them dinner (and I think breakfast), although they get lunch in their school.

Secondly, there is an absolute zero tolerance on English being used. I don't have Irish myself, and I was given a heads up by the neighbour (who is also my landlord) to be cautious speaking English outside when I was having some friends over, because the students shouldn't be hearing any English. I suspect they get warned that their neighbours don't have the Irish as well, so not to strike up conversation with us (which is quite fine by me, it'd be very awkward to have to use pidgin sign-language to indicate I can't speak to them!). They get fined for a first offence and can be sent home on a second, which given it's a costly exercise would be unfortunate. What is -probable- in terms of that is that they suspected he was whispering to her in English and cracked down. I guess when they only have a set of kids for a fortnight/a month, they don't get to know the individual children very well.

Don't get me wrong, by the way, I'm not defending what happened, it was a rotten way to deal with it, but I thought I'd clear up some of the questions regarding what's normal. I doubt the extent of what happened in this case is anything close to normal; the three sets of gangs of lads that have been here this summer (the last lot arrived yesterday) have seemed a happy enough lot.

Best of luck to your son and daughter, and I hope they haven't been totally put off Gaeltachts.

...whereas others have boarding colleges as well as / instead of houses.

I think everyone knows that it may have been interpreted as speaking English, and maybe it was - but the point is that a kid was punished by being refused food. What sadistic arse "cracks down" on a 12 year old by denying them food?

It actually doesn't matter what the adults involved thought, they had no right to refuse him food. None, zero, zilch. Nothing you've said mitigates anything that happened and, whilst I'm sure you didn't intend it to, reads a bit like excuse making. I've been to the Gaeltacht myself and I wager so have quite a few respondents here, so people do know what the score is at them but thankfully I don't see anyone else fobbing off draconian illegal treatment of children as just a misunderstanding.

Sam Kade

RossieMan wrote: »

It sounds a little far-fetched to me to be honest. I'm sure some of it is true, but some of it just seems too far gone to have actually occurred.

My first thoughts as well while reading it.

Milly33

Oh dear that sounds horrible... I hope if all is as you say that your son is ok.. I would most defiantly be reporting them to the guards and asking for some action to be taken.. This should not have happened to your son, I would also look into maybe having someone talk to you son to make sure he knows it wasn't his fault... really horrible how people can be to one another

holla

Sam/Rossie - To think some of this carry on doesn't happen is naive. If the teachers in the Gaeltacht had the same reaction as you then no wonder that people are too afraid to speak up.

OP - There are well laid out escalation paths for these situations that should be followed.
> Contact Tusla immediately - this is a child protection issue with potential criminal activity. They will refer the case to the guards if necessary.
> Make a complaint to the school he is staying. They have a right to be heard as well and a solution may be found at a local level.
> Depending on how your complaint to the school goes it might require you bring a case to the Ombudsman for Children's Office.


The bullies have been sent home and dealt with, making a complaint and letting them know it damages the reputation will hopefully be enough that they will, in future, be better at combating bullies. Remember they can't watch the kids 24/7.

Also remember a bad experience could be just because he hasnt made friends and wants to go home. This is likely his first time away from home so the slightest things would set him off.

Turtle_

holla wrote: »

Also remember a bad experience could be just because he hasnt made friends and wants to go home. This is likely his first time away from home so the slightest things would set him off.

Actually it's funny, I was just thinking about this. I worked in a similar setup to gaeltacts for a while and one of the things that we were specifically trained on was food. If a kid isn't eating or doesn't like the food - they can have something else. Don't have a battle about it. There are always options and where I worked provided alternatives to the main meal for kids who weren't eating. But it was always emphasized that ensuring all the kids were eating enough was of utmost importance. They can eat well and healthily the rest of the year, but it was just so important to make sure they got enough food during the day. Battles over food were an absolute no-go.

Some kids are picky eaters all of the time, some go off their food when they're stressed, some get more picky when they're away from home and the very last thing you do is let them go hungry because that will upset them on such a fundamental level. Hierarchy of needs - it's right up there. Food and water come even above shelter. It's a pity Irish colleges don't understand this. They're supposed to care for the kids - young teenagers can't look after themselves.

So I agree with you - it is easy for "small things" to set a kid off and become a bad experience when they're not used to being away from home.. But not being provided with food is not a small thing; it's neglect. No adult caring for a child should ever, ever refuse to provide food for the child. Maybe he was disproportionately upset, but considering the atmosphere of bullying among the kids, intimidation from the staff, being falsely accused of wrongdoing and then left to go hungry..? I don't think it's a disproportionate reaction, I think it's perfectly reasonable to be very upset in those circumstances.

And the point is that any adult left in charge of a child should understand that and should never treat someone the way the OP's child was treated.

Smondie

You have 2 different issues here.

1. The bullying your son witnessed. Totally unacceptable, although like another poster said the logistics of collecting someone's urine is questionable. Report it to Tulsa. Teach your son not to be afraid to call out for help.


2. Your son don didn't like the food and broke the rules by whispering to his sister, then is complaining he was refused food. Do you expect every student who doesn't like the food to get individual meals cooked for them? He was punished for breaking the rules, should be be excepted from following the rules? One set if rules for him and one set for everyone else?

Turtle_

Smondie wrote: »

You have 2 different issues here.

1. The bullying your son witnessed. Totally unacceptable, although like another poster said the logistics of collecting someone's urine is questionable. Report it to Tulsa. Teach your son not to be afraid to call out for help.


2. Your son don didn't like the food and broke the rules by whispering to his sister, then is complaining he was refused food. Do you expect every student who doesn't like the food to get individual meals cooked for them? He was punished for breaking the rules, should be be excepted from following the rules? One set if rules for him and one set for everyone else?

You think it's okay to deny food to a child?

Smondie

Turtle_ wrote: »

Smondie wrote: »

You have 2 different issues here.

1. The bullying your son witnessed. Totally unacceptable, although like another poster said the logistics of collecting someone's urine is questionable. Report it to Tulsa. Teach your son not to be afraid to call out for help.


2. Your son don didn't like the food and broke the rules by whispering to his sister, then is complaining he was refused food. Do you expect every student who doesn't like the food to get individual meals cooked for them? He was punished for breaking the rules, should be be excepted from following the rules? One set if rules for him and one set for everyone else?

You think it's okay to deny food to a child?

If he was so hungry, he would have eaten what he was given in the first place.

Turtle_

Smondie wrote: »

If he was so hungry, he would hace eaten what he was given in the first place.

Think we've found the culprit...

another36

Contact the guards re the older boys making him drink his own pee.

12 is very young the school and houses shouldn't have treated him so harshly!

Hope he is ok now. I'm sure your very angry make sure that the school are held accountable.

Satriale

Jesus, is it any wonder most of this country hates their own language.

I'd contact the Gardai, but even if you dont, find out from the school if the parents of the bullies were informed that their sons had a rope around a child neck and made him drink urine.
If they were mine, i'd certainly want to know what they get up to when i wasnt around.

cazzer22

TonyStark wrote: »

A formal complaint... ?my first reaction to reading this is to make a statement to the guards. Your son witnessed an assault. Let the cops involve whoever they need to then.

This is outrageous and sounds like a prison.

I meant a formal complaint to the guards or whoever the OP wishes.