Non-Religious Ceremony

runawaybishop

You can have a non-religious civil ceremony without it being humanist, at ours we had some people say some nice things, some other nice people played music and the registrar did his bit (nicely). Nothing religious, nothing mystical, very enjoyable.

Mrs OBumble

GingerLily wrote: »

Some people are very anti-humanist here, don't let it put you off!
I would suggest looking into humanism a bit more before approaching a humanist solemniser, to be on the safe side!

I'm actually very pro-Humanist.

But I don't see their ceremonies as appropriate for people who know they're not Christian, but why do still believe in the supernatural at some level (eg ring-warming and receiving energy from having rings passed around). Or for people who don't believe in tolerance of others belief systems, or intrinsic respect for all human beings just because they're human.

Courtn2

I was at a Humanist wedding earlier this year and I have to say I was disappointed.

When I heard the couple were going for one initially, I was looking forward to it,
but on the day, the celebrant just went through the motions, one of which was a patronising lecture on what Humanism is - to me the whole thing became a presentation on Humanism rather than a wedding celebration - in practically all church and registry weddings I've been to, the priest/celebrant at least had a touch of humanity and sense of humour.

Don't let this put you off - I believe this is down to a particular condescending celebrant, but what I would advise is not to lose focus on the fact that it's your wedding - suit yourselves and make sure the celebrant is aware that it's not an opportunity for them to advertise for their next gig.

My understanding was that the couple didn't really get an extensive run-through beforehand with the witnesses - no room to tweak or see what they were getting. Essentially it became celebrant's rules/celebrant's timelines.

Best of luck, no matter what option you choose, remember it's your celebration

Atomic Pineapple

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

I'm actually very pro-Humanist.

But I don't see their ceremonies as appropriate for people who know they're not Christian, but why do still believe in the supernatural at some level (eg ring-warming and receiving energy from having rings passed around). Or for people who don't believe in tolerance of others belief systems, or intrinsic respect for all human beings just because they're human.

Just to clarify I am 100% behind the humanist faith and have no belief in the supernatural at all, it was suggested to us by our celebrant to incorporate the ring warming, for us it is nothing more than an interesting way to include people in the ceremony, in fact the ring warming for us is a way of respecting everyone at our ceremony as anyone who is religious can say a prayer with them or a blessing or whatever is personal to them.

Walter H Price

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

I'm actually very pro-Humanist.

But I don't see their ceremonies as appropriate for people who know they're not Christian, but why do still believe in the supernatural at some level (eg ring-warming and receiving energy from having rings passed around). Or for people who don't believe in tolerance of others belief systems, or intrinsic respect for all human beings just because they're human.

i think i allighn fairly well with their priciples , i dont really believe in anything spiritual but i like the unique historic tradition mysticism here , i dont believe or Celtic heritage, legends and ancient customs are given the time or respect they deserve , so would love to incorporate some of these elements into our ceremony, be that through music poetry symbolism or ritual.

I found it hilarious when my Fiances half sisters boyfriend tried to tell us having a non catholic wedding wasn't Irish , Like whats more Irish than some made up middle eastern religion about the life of a Jew living under Roman rule , twisted to fit the feast days of the Roman pagan religion, brought to Ireland by a welsh slave hahahahaha

I want to tie in elements of culture that have been present here for a few thousand years and are relatively uniquely Irish customs and traditions.

Walter H Price

Atomic Pineapple wrote: »

Just to clarify I am 100% behind the humanist faith and have no belief in the supernatural at all, it was suggested to us by our celebrant to incorporate the ring warming, for us it is nothing more than an interesting way to include people in the ceremony, in fact the ring warming for us is a way of respecting everyone at our ceremony as anyone who is religious can say a prayer with them or a blessing or whatever is personal to them.

That is a really lovely idea

Walter H Price

Thanks so much to all you lovely people on here , cleared up allot for us yesterday

we've decided to book the Humanist Ceremony in the Hotel now , end of the day we're more comfortable with it than with all the God and Jesus lark, and love the ability to customize it to our tastes add in some of the Celtic traditions i'm really passionate about and involve our guests.

lazygal

We had a humanist wedding, before they could also do the legal bit. We're not religious so it wasn't a replacement for a religious ceremony and we ruled out any blessing-type readings entirely. We are members of HAI and align with it's views on many issues so there was no conflict of interest for us at all and no hypocrisy (unlike many, many religious ceremonies self-described atheists have had in our families and circles of friends). The celebrant has done other family events since. Best of luck OP!

kat939

Hey OP - I know you've said you're booking the humanist ceremony (I've been to a couple and they're lovely!) But just wanted to say we had a Celtic traditional ceremony that was a big hit -well, I liked it anyway! can pass on our celebrant's details if you were interested😊

ChewChew

Op, glad to read you both have gone for something to suit you both. We have a humanist ceremony planned for March and I'm very much lookin forward to it. Our celebrant also did a naming ceremony for our child last year and our guests were very surprised at how lovely and intimate the ceremony was (even though there had been a few comments about how could be possibly raise a child that has not been baptised and what about school!!!!) so I am super excited about the wedding. the humanist values are simplistic and 'normal' which is what I love about it.

Walter H Price

kat939 wrote: »

Hey OP - I know you've said you're booking the humanist ceremony (I've been to a couple and they're lovely!) But just wanted to say we had a Celtic traditional ceremony that was a big hit -well, I liked it anyway! can pass on our celebrant's details if you were interested😊

I would love a Traditional Celtic wedding but my Faience isn't overly keen unfortunately , the humanist ceremony with the few celtic bits tied in (Music, Poetry , Hand Fastening) was kind of a happy compromise for us

ChewChew wrote: »

Op, glad to read you both have gone for something to suit you both. We have a humanist ceremony planned for March and I'm very much lookin forward to it. Our celebrant also did a naming ceremony for our child last year and our guests were very surprised at how lovely and intimate the ceremony was (even though there had been a few comments about how could be possibly raise a child that has not been baptised and what about school!!!!) so I am super excited about the wedding. the humanist values are simplistic and 'normal' which is what I love about it.

Thank's Chew Chew , hope you guys have a great day in March , would love to know a bit more about the naming ceremony because we are planning on having kids as soon after our wedding as we can and do not intend on getting them baptize , i no my OH sister is very put out about this i think mostly because she expect's to be Godmother is there an equivalent with the Naming Ceremony ?

Shybride2016

Walter H Price wrote: »

I would love a Traditional Celtic wedding but my Faience isn't overly keen unfortunately , the humanist ceremony with the few celtic bits tied in (Music, Poetry , Hand Fastening) was kind of a happy compromise for us



Thank's Chew Chew , hope you guys have a great day in March , would love to know a bit more about the naming ceremony because we are planning on having kids as soon after our wedding as we can and do not intend on getting them baptize , i no my OH sister is very put out about this i think mostly because she expect's to be Godmother is there an equivalent with the Naming Ceremony ?

Jesus, when will people stop with the unwanted opinions?! It never fails to annoy me when I hear stories like yours.

Anyway, we had a naming ceremony for our first child in the Unitarian Church so not exactly non-religious but had none of the original sin stuff thankfully. We nominated two people as "godparents" but they were called "soul friends" during the ceremony.

As far as I'm aware godparent is only a title anyway it doesn't confer any responsibilities on to godparents apart from keeping up the religious ethos of the family does it?

baby and crumble

Shybride2016 wrote: »

As far as I'm aware godparent is only a title anyway it doesn't confer any responsibilities on to godparents apart from keeping up the religious ethos of the family does it?

I think it used to be assumed that if something happened the parents, one of the Godparents would take responsibility for the children to ensure they didn't go into care and such. I might be wrong though.

Walter H Price

Shybride2016 wrote: »

Jesus, when will people stop with the unwanted opinions?! It never fails to annoy me when I hear stories like yours.

Anyway, we had a naming ceremony for our first child in the Unitarian Church so not exactly non-religious but had none of the original sin stuff thankfully. We nominated two people as "godparents" but they were called "soul friends" during the ceremony.

As far as I'm aware godparent is only a title anyway it doesn't confer any responsibilities on to godparents apart from keeping up the religious ethos of the family does it?

Yeh it was kinda funny and jokey for a little while but patience starting to wear thin now with all the old cultural catholics giving us their tuppence hapenny worth on this stuff like . most of them dont see a church from one christmas to the next but are totally shocked were not getting married in one and have no intrest in baptizing kids.

baby and crumble wrote: »

I think it used to be assumed that if something happened the parents, one of the Godparents would take responsibility for the children to ensure they didn't go into care and such. I might be wrong though.

Yeh think you can name legal gaurdians for that now , Godparent is just to do with religion as far as i know. like i was hoping we could name gaurdians or something at a naming ceremony just to keep a few people sweet

baby and crumble

Walter H Price wrote: »

Yeh think you can name legal gaurdians for that now , Godparent is just to do with religion as far as i know. like i was hoping we could name gaurdians or something at a naming ceremony just to keep a few people sweet

You could come up with anything in fairness. I've heard "Earth Mother" used instead of Godmother but it does sound a bit hippy-dippy for my taste!

I like the idea of my kids (if I ever have any!) having adult "mentors" drawn from my friends. You know, just someone they can look up to and get advice from outside of their parents. I think that's important.

eviltwin

We use the term guide parent or in the case of myself I'm "auntie" even though I'm not related to the child in question.

Walter H Price

baby and crumble wrote: »

You could come up with anything in fairness. I've heard "Earth Mother" used instead of Godmother but it does sound a bit hippy-dippy for my taste!

I like the idea of my kids (if I ever have any!) having adult "mentors" drawn from my friends. You know, just someone they can look up to and get advice from outside of their parents. I think that's important.

eviltwin wrote: »

We use the term guide parent or in the case of myself I'm "auntie" even though I'm not related to the child in question.

I totaly agree also i think its nice for someone among your close friends and family to have that special additional connection to your child , definitly like the life guide thing , Earth Mother is a bit to woodstock for me :P

we always called our godfather , Uncle even though they weren't actually lood , just friends of my dads so i can definitely get on board with that one. it seems to matter more outside Dublin anyway from my experience like

Mrs OBumble

baby and crumble wrote: »

I think it used to be assumed that if something happened the parents, one of the Godparents would take responsibility for the children to ensure they didn't go into care and such. I might be wrong though.

Ya - that approach clearly worked well in Ireland's history!


Anyways, today godparents have no legal role, it's only a church/social one. Wise parents update their will when a child is born, and also talk to their solicitor about how to set up guardianship or whatever it's called here.

And you can have pretty much whatever ceremony you make up for these folks, provided you do the legal paperwork in the right way. Most people I know prefered to keep the legal paperwork and the public ceremony separate.

Walter H Price

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

Ya - that approach clearly worked well in Ireland's history!


Anyways, today godparents have no legal role, it's only a church/social one. Wise parents update their will when a child is born, and also talk to their solicitor about how to set up guardianship or whatever it's called here.

And you can have pretty much whatever ceremony you make up for these folks, provided you do the legal paperwork in the right way. Most people I know prefered to keep the legal paperwork and the public ceremony separate.

Imagine that's what will do alright.

ChewChew

Walter H Price wrote: »

I would love a Traditional Celtic wedding but my Faience isn't overly keen unfortunately , the humanist ceremony with the few celtic bits tied in (Music, Poetry , Hand Fastening) was kind of a happy compromise for us



Thank's Chew Chew , hope you guys have a great day in March , would love to know a bit more about the naming ceremony because we are planning on having kids as soon after our wedding as we can and do not intend on getting them baptize , i no my OH sister is very put out about this i think mostly because she expect's to be Godmother is there an equivalent with the Naming Ceremony ?

Our naming ceremony was beautiful. We had a few chins wagging and the mere thought of not baptising our baby, let alone follow through with it but after the ceremony a lot of opinions changed! It really was lovely and simplistic. Our celebrate said a few nice words, I had two nieces and my best friend ready tiny poems that's if written so there was zero religion in it. We planted a tree for her on the day and it is supposed to be a long life shrub called Christmas box so she will grow up with that being her tree and as for god parents, well yes we did have them, but they are known as her 'Odd Parents' instead

Walter H Price

ChewChew wrote: »

Our naming ceremony was beautiful. We had a few chins wagging and the mere thought of not baptising our baby, let alone follow through with it but after the ceremony a lot of opinions changed! It really was lovely and simplistic. Our celebrate said a few nice words, I had two nieces and my best friend ready tiny poems that's if written so there was zero religion in it. We planted a tree for her on the day and it is supposed to be a long life shrub called Christmas box so she will grow up with that being her tree and as for god parents, well yes we did have them, but they are known as her 'Odd Parents' instead

that's class , yeh we are dead set against the baptism thing whatever about any of the rest of the ills of the church the abuse and cover up against children globally over decades would beyond put me off having my kids anywhere near the RCC.

That sounds like a really nice cermony tbh and something will definitly look at when the time comes.