Constipation

RoughSleeper

Nothing like a coffee and cigarette to get your morning mojo on (or out... semantics).

Poor Uncle Tom

irishguitarlad wrote: »

byhookorbycrook wrote: »

Movicol is what you need.

Thats the stuff I'm on, started taking it yesterday morning but nothing. They said to wait three days in a and e and if it doesnt work to come back.

Then you know what to do.

Colser

I'm surprised kfallon isn't all over this thread like a fly on s***...he's our regular(in every meaning of the word )expert in all things toilet related over on the TTTAY thread..shame on him for not coming to the rescue of a fellow boardsie in trouble..

OP as someone who had the unfortunate experience of going through this 2 weeks after giving birth l genuinely empathise with you and hate to say it but it was actually worse than labour..the relief though is better than a lotto win(well it's up there anyway).

zinzan

Esel

Colser wrote: »

I'm surprised kfallon isn't all over this thread like a fly on s***...he's our regular(in every meaning of the word )expert in all things toilet related over on the TTTAY thread..shame on him for not coming to the rescue of a fellow boardsie in trouble..

OP as someone who had the unfortunate experience of going through this 2 weeks after giving birth l genuinely empathise with you and hate to say it but it was actually worse than labour..the relief though is better than a lotto win(well it's up there anyway).

L.Jenkins

Have you taken a dump yet OP? If and when you do, I'm sure it will be something similar to passing jagged tennis balls. Dogs will howl in sympathy.

Spanish Eyes

Cannot believe this is going on for THREE WEEKS!

I'd be doubled over.

OP needs to get his/her **** together (sorry) asap. Something else could be going on here.

What about that stuff they give to people who need a scope up. Demand one and the cleanout stuff might help before the scope.

That clogged feeling must be the pits. But honestly.... three weeks. Something is impacted there for whatever reason, needs to be sorted.

How could you eat or live, or sit or enjoy life with that stuff stuck in your bowel? Jesus.

RobbingBandit

Look up a Vitrectomy op it'll scare the ****e right out of you.

Keane2baMused

OP did you get the lactulose/ duphalac? It's good stuff.

You can take it daily as long as you need to if this is a regular (and ironic) thing. It softens the em...well poo.

Ruby31

Eat a whole bunch of grapes first thing in the morning on an empty stomach. The combination of water, fructose and fibre does the trick. Once things get moving, you should do this regularly.

Once you're getting back to normal, a tablespoon of linseeds soaked in plenty of water overnight, down the hatch again on an empty stomach.

Someone said that chocolate is constipating. That might be the case with milk chocolate, but very dark chocolate, e.g 85% is definately not constipating! Quite the opposite. If you eat a couple of square with a mug of black coffee, that should do the trick!

L.Jenkins

It's all well and good posting dietary requirements for having a good poo, but this is more of medical issue, only qualified medical personnel can deal with.

fussyonion

I agree.
Surely at this stage, the thread should be locked because the OP obviously needs medical advice.
At first this was entertaining but now it's just annoying and what more can we suggest apart from seek medical advice?

mark_jmc

No word from the OP, hope he hasn't turned into a floater

I looked up constipation in a medical book last night, out of curiosity.

It said laxatives are a waste of time and not to bother with them for long bouts of constipation. Then it said something quite disturbing: if all else fails, the faeces should be removed by hand.

Imagine spending all those years in medical school, to have as your reward some fellow grimacing at you on a trolley, as you spoon the shit out of his arse. Christ.

retro:electro

fussyonion wrote: »

I agree.
Surely at this stage, the thread should be locked because the OP obviously needs medical advice.
At first this was entertaining but now it's just annoying and what more can we suggest apart from seek medical advice?

I will be very disappointed if this thread is locked and I never found out if the op pooed or not.

Gael23

I agree this really needs medical intervention but this actually happened to me 2 years ago so I'm speaking from experience. The pain of an impacted bowel is the worst pain I have experienced in my life so far. I should have gone to a&e but I went to an emergency GP?

The solution for me was Movicol and Duphalac together,twice a day. If you really need to you can use a microlax but I don't like them, they are very harsh and can irritate you inside of you overuse them. I don't mean this to be medical advice, it's my own experience of how I dealt with the very same thing and the OP has been prescribed both medicines I suggested.

One final thing, if you vomit you have to go to hospital.

Avatar MIA

It's better to have pooped and soiled, than to have never pooped at all.

C'mon, OP, do we have Splashdown?

Fecal Vomit would be a great name for a death metal band.

shamrock2004

Hey OP, anything yet?

I remember I went 9 days without pushing brown back when I was in college. I think it was all down to stress.

I remember sitting on the bog at home and the mother banged on the door - "Anything yet?! If you're still not going, then it's over to the doctor". At that point the mere mention of the word 'Doctor' and the flood gates opened and the bowels were moving again like ginger rogers. I have a pathological fear of doctors and the suggestion of going to the doctor literally scared the shi*e out of me. I remember at the time popping senokots like they were sweets and nothing was happening

maudgonner

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

Fecal Vomit would be a great name for a death metal band.

I was thinking 'Manual Disimpaction'.

I have highbrow taste.

Gael23

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

Fecal Vomit would be a great name for a death metal band.

It happens and it's quite serious if it does, i.e you'll be admitted to hospital.

Frigating

OP, when you do get things flowing, you need to measure yourself before and after. We need to know the weight of the baby

sullivlo

Frigating wrote: »

OP, when you do get things flowing, you need to measure yourself before and after. We need to know the weight of the baby

Biggest loss I have had was 3kg. I think that was almost 4 weeks.

Have lost more doing kleenprep but that's dehydration more than anything.

Isolt

All joking aside you should have been given more than just movicol when you went to a&e.
Get to your doctor ASAP and ask for some dulcolax (this is a laxative, movicol is a stool softener and takes time to work) You must be feeling really awful.
Fecal impaction can be rather dangerous too, so I wouldn't be waiting around too long if I were you. It sounds as though you need a laxative right now, rather than a softener! If you can't get to your doctor then get yourself to a pharmacy. At least a pharmacist is qualified to give medical advice and may be able to give you something over the counter.

Isolt

Isolt wrote: »

At least a pharmacist is qualified to give medical advice and may be able to give you something over the counter.

A pharmacist is qualified to give you expert advice on medicines and common treatments for common ailments, both otc and prescription only, not medical advice.

The OP is in a serious situation and needs to get medical help. At this point he's only wasting time and making the situation worse by continuing his present treatment, since it doesn't appear to be working for him.

Apparently heroin addicts get really bunged up, and can go weeks without a poo. It's a side effect of opiate use.

I was leaving work one day and saw a human poo on the pavement. This was 5pm in the evening. Never was sure if was a political protest (it was outside a bank, during the crisis ) or someone had been 'caught short'. Pretty disgusting.

Ally Dick

I was given a laxative to take the day I was due to have a colonoscopy. The world fell out of my ass that morning p.s. it was a hideous lemon flavoured powder that I had to add water to. There were copies amounts to water to drink. Half an hour after I had my drink, the ass fell out of my world

Ally Dick

Ally Dick wrote: »

I was given a laxative to take the day I was due to have a colonoscopy. The world fell out of my ass that morning p.s. it was a hideous lemon flavoured power drink that I had to add water to. There were copies amounts to drink. Have an hour after I had my drink, the ass fell out of my world

Sometimes the bottom falls out of your world, and sometimes the world falls out your bottom.

Esel

Ruby31 wrote: »

Eat a whole bunch of grapes first thing in the morning on an empty stomach. The combination of water, fructose and fibre does the trick. Once things get moving, you should do this regularly.

Once you're getting back to normal, a tablespoon of linseeds soaked in plenty of water overnight, down the hatch again on an empty stomach.

Someone said that chocolate is constipating. That might be the case with milk chocolate, but very dark chocolate, e.g 85% is definately not constipating! Quite the opposite. If you eat a couple of square with a mug of black coffee, that should do the trick!

Pretty sure the OP will have a bunch of grapes when his ordeal is over.

sullivlo

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

Apparently heroin addicts get really bunged up, and can go weeks without a poo. It's a side effect of opiate use.

I was leaving work one day and saw a human poo on the pavement. This was 5pm in the evening. Never was sure if was a political protest (it was outside a bank, during the crisis ) or someone had been 'caught short'. Pretty disgusting.

Yup. One of the hardest things I found when I was admitted those times was dealing with the pain. Plain old paracetamol does nothing for the pain I get. I can't take anti inflammatories either. So it is either agony, or more constipation.

I had surgery last October. I decided that tummy pains would be worth it and opted for the morphine. I have no regrets and I can see why it is a controlled substance.

L.Jenkins

Esel wrote: »

Pretty sure the OP will have a bunch of grapes when his ordeal is over.

He could put them in the freezer for a while, then down his jocks to cool down his hoop.

Gael23

sullivlo wrote: »

Yup. One of the hardest things I found when I was admitted those times was dealing with the pain. Plain old paracetamol does nothing for the pain I get. I can't take anti inflammatories either. So it is either agony, or more constipation.

The pain is incredible. Apart from surgery I have never experienced anything like it. You may as well eat sweets than take paracetamol for it. The description I used at the time was I felt as if there was a belt around my abdomen being pulled tighter and tighter, I felt like I wanted to be sick too, maybe that was because the pain was so bad or because I was so blocked up, I dont know.
Someone said he needs something stronger than movicol. For constipation this bad it can take 24hrs to work but it will work. Therese he'll need a suppository.

Esel

L.Jenkins wrote: »

He could put them in the freezer for a while, then down his jocks to cool down his hoop.

They will be attached to and hanging from his rectum...

KKkitty

All jokes aside, I really hope you're ok OP. It can't be a great thing for you. I know a lot of people are throwing suggestions at you to try alleviate the situation but I hope something beneficial happens soon.

Esel

KKkitty wrote: »

All jokes aside, I really hope you're ok OP. It can't be a great thing for you. I know a lot of people are throwing suggestions suppositories at you to try alleviate the situation but I hope something beneficial happens soon.

FYP

tringle

If it were me (thankfully it isn't), I wouldn't be eating much else at all. There's enough in there as it is adding more can only make it worse IMHO.

Hospital/doctor said give it 3 more days....but ouch.

Fingers crossed all is well.

failinis

sullivlo wrote: »

Yup. One of the hardest things I found when I was admitted those times was dealing with the pain. Plain old paracetamol does nothing for the pain I get. I can't take anti inflammatories either. So it is either agony, or more constipation.

I had surgery last October. I decided that tummy pains would be worth it and opted for the morphine. I have no regrets and I can see why it is a controlled substance.

Glad there is someone else out there unable to have anti-inflammatories (well glad is the wrong word).
I have chronic pain but have not been allowed anything stronger than paracetamol :mad: which is useless and my ulcer means it hurts to even take paracetamol.

OP the Movicol will be slowly working its way down your gut softening stuff, the hardest bit is getting rid of the still hard stuff near your bum at bottom of gut.
Which might mean a small suppository. Also try to not force yourself to go, it might do more damage, just go when its wanting to happen.

I just had 2 weeks of no movement (IBS) and been drinking away at the Movicil which finally worked. So sit tight.

Shiny

Well?

Shiny

Shiny wrote: »

Well?

I don't think he is no.

LeBash

Get your other half to ask can they move in with you. I **** myself after that.

joebloggs32

This thread is reminiscent of the I found a safe thread. I keep checking in for a progress report!

Avatar MIA

joebloggs32 wrote: »

This thread is reminiscent of the I found a safe thread. I keep checking in for a progress report!

With a bit of luck the endings will be the same. Pure Shíte.

BrokenArrows

No word from the OP in two days. Maybe he exploded??

Mech1

BrokenArrows wrote: »

No word from the OP in two days. Maybe he exploded??

Dont worry we will find out, he wont be able to keep this quiet!

shamrock2004

If I were you OP, I'd take everything everyone has suggested in this thread to take, stick it all in a blender, drop some ice in and make a nice smoothie out of it. It's guaranteed to work.

Avatar MIA

shamrock2004 wrote: »

It's guaranteed to work.

... or your money constipation back.

BrokenArrows

I wonder how many Courics it will be.

kylith

I'm surprised that A&E sent the OP home. Even if what they prescribed gets him moving the chances of it fitting out his hoop without doing damage are slim and that is not fun.

Ulysses Gaze

maudgonner wrote: »

I was thinking 'Manual Disimpaction'.

I have highbrow taste.

Progressive/Jazz Death Metal band name.

GLaDOS

OP hasn't updated us in 2 days, hopefully he's ok...