Kids in Cafes

gifted

OldNotWIse wrote: »

Being a dad doesn't give you the right to insult other people and tell them that the fact that they have no kids means nobody wants to be with them.

I never said I had the right...I do have a right to bring my kids into a cafe and watch and listen to them being happy....some cranky miserable person not happy with that can talk to me, no different to any parent, we are there to protect our kids.

OldNotWIse

gifted wrote: »

I love it...watching other people looking over tut tuting...usually the people who don't have kids because they're so miserable that no one wants to be with them.....rock on kids with the noises, it's one of lifes happy sounds...

gifted wrote: »

I never said I had the right...I do have a right to bring my kids into a cafe and watch and listen to them being happy....some cranky miserable person not happy with that can talk to me, no different to any parent, we are there to protect our kids.

You did assert that people who are irritated by kids making noise are miserable because no one wants to be with them. Did it ever cross your self righteous mind that maybe they are not miserable but simply, irritated?

Grayditch

Hate that.

OldNotWIse

Smondie wrote: »

was he wearing shoes or socks?

He'd already thrown the socks at someone who was eating..

Smondie

OldNotWIse wrote: »

Smondie wrote: »

was he wearing shoes or socks?

He'd already thrown the socks at someone who was eating..

And the parent threw the child after the sock

Sue Pa Key Pa

Smondie wrote: »

And the parent threw the child after the sock

FFS, I thought I was in the clear over the sock, now it's back

Fluffy Cat 88

The_Mac wrote: »

From the way it was worded, he said the child was constantly pestering him and the mother just looked on laughing while I assume he looked fair uncomfortable.

Somebody please explain to childfree me;

Do parents actually encourage children to engage with strangers nowadays? Seriously?

Is the "stranger danger" threat gone? I wouldn't like some random kid to saunter up and start a conversation with me in a public place for many reasons.

1. I don't particularly like kids. (Yes that makes me a barren old witch. No I do not care.)

2. I have nothing whatsoever to discuss with strangers.

3. The big one - if I make an effort to converse with your child you might think: -
a. Nice friendly middle-aged woman chatting to the kid awwww so cute...
b. That woman might be Irelands Rose West...

Parents, please remember - the person tutting about your child having a bawling match in the local cafe isn't a threat. It's the ones who are taking an interest in engaging with them who pose a threat to their safety.

Ian Huntley - school caretaker
Jimmy Saville - jim'll fix it
Just think of any paedo who's been in the news and check out their occupation/interests.

Kids - don't talk to strangers!

gifted

OldNotWIse wrote: »

You did assert that people who are irritated by kids making noise are miserable because no one wants to be with them. Did it ever cross your self righteous mind that maybe they are not miserable but simply, irritated?

Well then they are usually miserable irritable people....and I still never said I had the right to insult people,I have the right to have a personal opinion on these people...again though what i do have the right is to bring my kids into a cafe and not to be worried in case some person is irratated and let the kids enjoy their treat in a happy manner, hopefully thats not a self righteous attitude, if it is well then .....

Whispered

Fluffy Cat 88 wrote: »

Somebody please explain to childfree me;

Do parents actually encourage children to engage with strangers nowadays? Seriously?

Is the "stranger danger" threat gone? I wouldn't like some random kid to saunter up and start a conversation with me in a public place for many reasons.

1. I don't particularly like kids. (Yes that makes me a barren old witch. No I do not care.)

2. I have nothing whatsoever to discuss with strangers.

3. The big one - if I make an effort to converse with your child you might think: -
a. Nice friendly middle-aged woman chatting to the kid awwww so cute...
b. That woman might be Irelands Rose West...

Parents, please remember - the person tutting about your child having a bawling match in the local cafe isn't a threat. It's the ones who are taking an interest in engaging with them who pose a threat to their safety.

Ian Huntley - school caretaker
Jimmy Saville - jim'll fix it
Just think of any paedo who's been in the news and check out their occupation/interests.

Kids - don't talk to strangers!

I fully agree that kids shouldn't be allowed to bother strangers. I don't like being bothered on a rare child free coffee. I also don't allow my child randomly annoy people.

However "stranger danger" is massively exaggerated. Children are more likely to come to harm at the hands of someone they know unfortunately. Rather than teach my child to be suspicious of someone because they are a stranger, I'll be trying to teach him to be suspicious of certain behaviours from anybody, friend or stranger. I don't want him to be afraid of the world and the people in it.

(Again before someone jumps on it, I'm not saying he should be allowed bother people who wish to have a coffee in peace. Just that my reasons for stopping him have nothing to do with any perceived danger from the person he may want to interact with.)

groucho marx

Hopefully the sock made a full recovery

goz83

Smondie wrote: »

You can't talk to more than one child at once? Good parents would understand what I mean.

:rolleyes:

nuff said there

PowerToWait wrote: »

So the wait staff have to know where your kids are while it's ok for you to lapse and look away 'for a few seconds' as you're watching like a hawk?

No, they just need to know where they are not.

Smondie wrote: »

Throwing children round in a place where they serve scalding tea?

I play with my childen in appropriate settings. I'll throw them around the park etc. They know that a cafe is not the place to be thrown around. I made it my buisness to teach them appropriate behaviour in different situations, because I love them and want them to be the best humans they can be.

And now you supposedly have children? Hard to believe to be honest. Your sarcasm and condescension suggests you are just adding to the pile of tripe you've committed to. You've been a member here for less than a month and have racked up quite a post count, so if you have kids, they are all grown up and have (hopefully) moved out. Otherwise, you wouldn't have time to be on here so often.

Smondie

goz83 wrote: »

Smondie wrote: »

You can't talk to more than one child at once? Good parents would understand what I mean.

:rolleyes:

nuff said there

PowerToWait wrote: »

So the wait staff have to know where your kids are while it's ok for you to lapse and look away 'for a few seconds' as you're watching like a hawk?

No, they just need to know where they are not.

Smondie wrote: »

Throwing children round in a place where they serve scalding tea?

I play with my childen in appropriate settings. I'll throw them around the park etc. They know that a cafe is not the place to be thrown around. I made it my buisness to teach them appropriate behaviour in different situations, because I love them and want them to be the best humans they can be.

And now you supposedly have children? Hard to believe to be honest. Your sarcasm and condescension suggests you are just adding to the pile of tripe you've committed to. You've been a member here for less than a month and have racked up quite a post count, so if you have kids, they are all grown up and have (hopefully) moved out. Otherwise, you wouldn't have time to be on here so often.

What's your obsession with how long i've been a member and my post count, in fact your not the only one with this obsession about me, actually I might start a thread on it!

goz83

Smondie wrote: »

What's your obsession with how long i've been a member and my post count, in fact your not the only one with this obsession about me, actually I might start a thread on it!

Too much screen time causes a serious illness called "condescending keyboard warrior syndrome"

Look, I get it. You're bored, you want attention and you're acting up. Kids do this all the time. I suppose it's better that you do it in After Hours, rather than the local cafe. All kinds of socks could be thrown around :pac:

Smondie

goz83 wrote: »

Smondie wrote: »

What's your obsession with how long i've been a member and my post count, in fact your not the only one with this obsession about me, actually I might start a thread on it!

Too much screen time causes a serious illness called "condescending keyboard warrior syndrome"

Look, I get it. You're bored, you want attention and you're acting up. Kids do this all the time. I suppose it's better that you do it in After Hours, rather than the local cafe. All kinds of socks could be thrown around :pac:

I might have a touch of adhd

zedhead

zedhead wrote: »

Just because the child can't learn as easily doesn't mean they should just stop trying. If the child had hit the stranger repeatadly would it be ok to say 'Maybe the parent has told the child 10 times that day to stop hitting people and if the child has something like downs syndrome they can't learn as easily as you or I?'

I suspect a lot of bad behaviour in children with behavioural disorders is lazily dismissed as being caused by a disorder.

Even kids with ADHD can have plain old bad manners (in fact, many kids with ADHD aren't really bold at all). But I've seen a tendency on behalf of some parents to take the approach of helplessness, and blame the disorder for everything bad.

I don't know anybody with Aspergers very well, but I've heard similar complaints in that regard whenever I've mentioned this among friends who have family members with Aspergers.

Maybe your child isn't crying because he's got Aspergers, Madam. Perhaps you are raising a brat.

Pac1Man

Je suis sock.

Utdfan20titles

Put a sock in it

Keane2baMused

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

I suspect a lot of bad behaviour in children with behavioural disorders is lazily dismissed as being caused by a disorder.

Even kids with ADHD can have plain old bad manners (in fact, many kids with ADHD aren't really bold at all). But I've seen a tendency on behalf of some parents to take the approach of helplessness, and blame the disorder for everything bad.

I don't know anybody with Aspergers very well, but I've heard similar complaints in that regard whenever I've mentioned this among friends who have family members with Aspergers.

Maybe your child isn't crying because he's got Aspergers, Madam. Perhaps you are raising a brat.

Says someone who knows nothing about Aspergers...

My son with autism can have bad behaviour because he's a child and they ALL behave in ways they shouldn't at some point. He also can have challenging behaviours due to his Autism which can cause sensory overload. He doesn't smash his own head off a wall because he's a brat.

I personally don't blame my sons spectrum disorder on his behaviour. It's a reason, not an excuse. It's generally people who haven't got a clue what they are talking about that throw the bad parenting line about.

I hope you never have to walk the same mile and have someone call you a bad parent, when you know you do everything you possibly can and then some.

Yellow pack crisps

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

zedhead wrote: »

Just because the child can't learn as easily doesn't mean they should just stop trying. If the child had hit the stranger repeatadly would it be ok to say 'Maybe the parent has told the child 10 times that day to stop hitting people and if the child has something like downs syndrome they can't learn as easily as you or I?'

I suspect a lot of bad behaviour in children with behavioural disorders is lazily dismissed as being caused by a disorder.




Even kids with ADHD can have plain old bad manners (in fact, many kids with ADHD aren't really bold at all). But I've seen a tendency on behalf of some parents to take the approach of helplessness, and blame the disorder for everything bad.

I don't know anybody with Aspergers very well, but I've heard similar complaints in that regard whenever I've mentioned this among friends who have family members with Aspergers.

Maybe your child isn't crying because he's got Aspergers, Madam. Perhaps you are raising a brat.

Err yes it can explain a lot actually. Parents with children on the spectrum have a huge amount of difficulties to deal with. What maybe you see in five minutes they have to live with 24/7. Show some humanity and kindness before it's too late for you.

makingmecrazy

OldNotWIse wrote: »

Being a dad doesn't give you the right to insult other people and tell them that the fact that they have no kids means nobody wants to be with them.

Tbf though, there are genuinely a-holes out there who just really hate kids and think they can say or do what they like.
I had an incident on a plane once a few years ago where my then 9 year old was playing on a Nintendo Ds WITH HEADPHONES ON and a woman who looked to be in her 30/40s turned around about 45 minutes into the flight and ROARED at him to "turn the fukcing thing off."
He was doing nothing wrong, hadn't said a single word or wasn't making a sound.
My child nearly jumped out of their skin with the fright.
I can assure the good readers of ah where I told her to go.

makingmecrazy

Cienciano wrote: »

The guy in question didn't mention any social anxiety. And he did say the kid had special needs. Mightn't be as easy to teach a special needs kid to not talk to anyone.

Maybe the parent has told the child 10 times that day to stop talking to people and if the child has something like downs syndrome they can't learn as easily as you or I? Maybe the child had a serious illness and the parent was glad to see them happy?
Also depends on what's deemed socially acceptable. A child asking one question? 2? 3? A child not interacting with anyone in public? Different people have different levels of what's "socially acceptable", this thread is clear evidence of that, some people think hearing a child in public isn't acceptable, so saying a child should behave in a socially acceptable way is pointless.
Personally, I'd rather not be questioned by a child, but part of being out in public is interacting with people, it's impossible to avoid and part of life.

I was on the luas a while ago, sitting there minding my own business. Headphones on at low level. All good with the world, right?
Then I thought I felt the slightest thing. Nah, glossed over it.
Wait, there it is again.
The creep behind me was sniffing my fukcing HAIR.
Sh!t happens in public all the time. Just gotta put your big girl /boy pants on and deals with it.

goz83

makingmecrazy wrote: »

I was on the luas a while ago, sitting there minding my own business. Headphones on at low level. All good with the world, right?
Then I thought I felt the slightest thing. Nah, glossed over it.
Wait, there it is again.
The creep behind me was sniffing my fukcing HAIR.
Sh!t happens in public all the time. Just gotta put your big girl /boy pants on and deals with it.

Sorry, but I love that herbal essences shampoo.















Disclaimer: i've never been in the luas

Spanish Eyes

Sorry in advance. I do not like children, I am entitled to be like that.

Doesn't matter if they are well behaved or not. Out for me.

I make sure to take my holidays/breaks when they are at school, and to avoid weekends when they will be around me anywhere.

Ankle biters and snappers.

The lot of them, and the parents are worse.

I have a ten year old nephew with ASD. He is very well behaved, his parents made sure he was treated no differently to his non ASD brother from a behavioural point of view. If he ever has a "moment" when they are out, he is rescued from the situation pronto.

I do love him though, and his brother, two exceptions to the "I do not like children" rule.

The rest of the kids can go swing.

mohawk

There appears to be mass hysteria on this thread.

I love a coffee so I sometimes bring the young fella with me as he enjoys a scone and a chat. He is wouldn't normally be too loud but sometimes needs to be reminded to tone it down so not to annoy the other patrons. He gets flappy and jumpy when excited. He leaves his seat to flap and sometimes gets a dirty look. Feck them as long as he isn't being too loud or getting in people's way he is fine.

Icemancometh

Parents on this thread

goz83

Spanish Eyes wrote: »

Sorry in advance. I do not like children, I am entitled to be like that.

Doesn't matter if they are well behaved or not. Out for me.

I make sure to take my holidays/breaks when they are at school, and to avoid weekends when they will be around me anywhere.

Ankle biters and snappers.

The lot of them, and the parents are worse.

I have a ten year old nephew with ASD. He is very well behaved, his parents made sure he was treated no differently to his non ASD brother from a behavioural point of view. If he ever has a "moment" when they are out, he is rescued from the situation pronto.

I do love him though, and his brother, two exceptions to the "I do not like children" rule.

The rest of the kids can go swing.

You know you're an ass when you must apologise in advance of such a shallow, self entitled post. Though i'm sure many on here would agree with you that your nephews are nothing but ankle biters and snappers.

Ave Sodalis

goz83 wrote:

You know you're an ass when you must apologise in advance of such a shallow, self entitled post. Though i'm sure many on here would agree with you that your nephews are nothing but ankle biters and snappers.

But he isn't being an ass. He's saying he doesn't like children, but he goes actively out of his way to avoid them. Not liking children doesn't make you shallow, or self entitled. Some people like children, others don't for a variety of reasons.

Spanish Eyes

sup_dude wrote: »

But he isn't being an ass. He's saying he doesn't like children, but he goes actively out of his way to avoid them. Not liking children doesn't make you shallow, or self entitled. Some people like children, others don't for a variety of reasons.

Well said.

The default option is that everyone should like/love children. No, it is not the case for me and many others, but people are somewhat afraid to say it.

Family is always different, and that's ok. It's when I am expected to goo and gah and indulge stranger's children that gets me. We know our own!

But thanks for the support. Some of us need it!

goz83

sup_dude wrote: »

But he isn't being an ass. He's saying he doesn't like children, but he goes actively out of his way to avoid them. Not liking children doesn't make you shallow, or self entitled. Some people like children, others don't for a variety of reasons.

But he is. And i too am entitled to my opinion and I don't feel the need to apologise in advance either. Not liking children is one thing, but then ranting on and calling all children ankle biters and snappers and that parents are worse. Well, that's sort of like, most of the human population and that's not being an ass? I was being kind when I said self entitled. What I really think would land me a ban.

Spanish Eyes wrote: »

Well said.

The default option is that everyone should like/love children. No, it is not the case for me and many others, but people are somewhat afraid to say it.

Family is always different, and that's ok. It's when I am expected to goo and gah and indulge stranger's children that gets me. We know our own!

But thanks for the support. Some of us need it!

By default, you mean normal, human, biological programming, but sure....default we can use. I have no issue with people not liking children and hell, if you want to avoid children, that's perfectly fine too. Take a stand back from your already cold outlook and you'll see that family really aren't different. Your nephews are just like the majority of "ankle biters and snappers" and their parents are worse.

And I highly doubt anyone expects you to goo and gah over their children. By the sounds of you, they would more likely hit you if you were near their kids.

Ave Sodalis

goz83 wrote:

I was being kind when I said self entitled. What I really think would land me a ban.

Why though? Ankle biters is hardly excessively offensive. Your reaction just seems entirely disproportional to what was said.