Kids in Cafes

Smondie

Yellow pack crisps wrote: »

Smondie wrote: »

reallyMost cafes i've been in where quite small

Everything is a generalisation with you.

Do you want me to name check cafes? Only if you go first...

Jawgap

Most cafes I frequent can easily accommodate a few strollers......

......it's when a yummy mummy and a daddy cool arrive in with their all-terrain land attack, mine resistant infant personnel carrier vehicle that space becomes an issue.

Some of those yokes look like they belong in a Michael Bay Transformers movie

Smondie

Jawgap wrote: »

Most cafes I frequent can easily accommodate a few strollers......

......it's when a yummy mummy and a daddy cool arrive in with their all-terrain land attack, mine resistant infant personnel carrier vehicle that space becomes an issue.

Some of those yokes look like they belong in a Michael Bay Transformers movie

I was listening to liveline a few weeks ago. A mother and baby group arrived in to a hotel with 8-10 strollers (one each). Management wanted them to leave the strollers in a designated room off the cafe as it was lunch time. They were so outraged that they rang Joe Duffy!!

Yellow pack crisps

Smondie wrote: »

Do you want me to name check cafes? Only if you go first...

A small cafe = Under 30 seats

A large cafe = Over 30 seats


I can name a lot of cafes that hit the criteria for large cafe.


Edit: You listen to Liveline. Conversation cancelled.

Of course you will say i am generalising and i am but there is a difference between sometimes generalising and always generalising. Google is great for finding such cafes that will suit your sheltered life expectations.

Smondie

Yellow pack crisps wrote: »

Smondie wrote: »

Do you want me to name check cafes? Only if you go first...

A small cafe = Under 30 seats

A large cafe = Over 30 seats


I can name a lot of cafes that hit the criteria for large cafe.


Edit: You listen to Liveline. Conversation cancelled.

That's a bit of a generalisation , something you accused me of. Can I have the names and addresses of all the cafes please

Yellow pack crisps

mariaalice wrote: »

On the judging parents thing, its very hard not to do, try my best and I would never say it to the parent the worst I would do is maybe debrief to my husband.

This one actuality upset me a bit.

shopping: a parent going round with a child or children and the parent spending the time irritable, sighing, low level annoyance with the child. It is surprising common, I know children can be annoying at times but not all the time.

One Saturday morning recently in the supermarket a middle aged middle class man was doing it with what I presume were his two daughter and one stage he said what's that 'crap' you have picked up, all said in aggressive tone.

There is some asshole people out there. some People seem very aggressive these days.

Yellow pack crisps

Jawgap wrote: »

Most cafes I frequent can easily accommodate a few strollers......

......it's when a yummy mummy and a daddy cool arrive in with their all-terrain land attack, mine resistant infant personnel carrier vehicle that space becomes an issue.

Some of those yokes look like they belong in a Michael Bay Transformers movie

Some of them are ridiculous alright and spending the guts of a grand on one is truly mind boggling.

LexieOnRale

LexieOnRale wrote: »

I have no idea how it feels to be stressed out because there's music playing in a the supermarket or because someone I didn't know patted my head. If they're about to have a meltdown - and the triggers can't be controlled

this probably sounds deliberately provocative... It isn't intended to be. I'm genuinely curious.

Where are all the adults who have 'uncontrolled' meltdowns when there's music playing, when someone touches them, or when they aren't wearing striped socks every time they pass a zebra crossing on the second Thursday of the month?

I've heard so many stories of uncontrolled meltdowns. And not only have my parents' generation never heard of these until the last 10 years, there seems to be almost no adults of their generation, or mine, having 'uncontrolled' sock or musical meltdowns.

mariaalice

mariaalice wrote: »

One Saturday morning recently in the supermarket a middle aged middle class man was doing it with what I presume were his two daughter and one stage he said what's that 'crap' you have picked up, all said in aggressive tone.

Jaysus, if that's the worst thing you ever heard a parent say, you live a sheltered life!

A Tyrant Named Miltiades!

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

this probably sounds deliberately provocative... It isn't intended to be. I'm genuinely curious.

Where are all the adults who have 'uncontrolled' meltdowns when there's music playing, when someone touches them, or when they aren't wearing striped socks every time they pass a zebra crossing on the second Thursday of the month?

I've heard so many stories of uncontrolled meltdowns. And not only have my parents' generation never heard of these until the last 10 years, there seems to be almost no adults of their generation, or mine, having 'uncontrolled' sock or musical meltdowns.

Because they are grown ups, and have learned to live with it or don't do things that cause them stress.
Like the rest of us really

Yellow pack crisps

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

this probably sounds deliberately provocative... It isn't intended to be. I'm genuinely curious.

Where are all the adults who have 'uncontrolled' meltdowns when there's music playing, when someone touches them, or when they aren't wearing striped socks every time they pass a zebra crossing on the second Thursday of the month?

I've heard so many stories of uncontrolled meltdowns. And not only have my parents' generation never heard of these until the last 10 years, there seems to be almost no adults of their generation, or mine, having 'uncontrolled' sock or musical meltdowns.

I am not an expert or dismissing what you're saying but isnt the modern world not brighter and noisier than generations past? I am not autistic but jesus Ikea lighting and noise and layout defiantly affects me in some way and i cannot spend very long there. The large shopping centres now are not the same as when i was growing up in the 80's or 90's even and plus the fact that a lot of Autistic children would have been hospitalised before as opposed to now.

Keane2baMused

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

this probably sounds deliberately provocative... It isn't intended to be. I'm genuinely curious.

Where are all the adults who have 'uncontrolled' meltdowns when there's music playing, when someone touches them, or when they aren't wearing striped socks every time they pass a zebra crossing on the second Thursday of the month?

I've heard so many stories of uncontrolled meltdowns. And not only have my parents' generation never heard of these until the last 10 years, there seems to be almost no adults of their generation, or mine, having 'uncontrolled' sock or musical meltdowns.

30 years ago in Ireland autism wasn't even really diagnosed.

Instead the children were labelled as oddballs, eccentric or even mentally unstable. Many were put into institutions along with children with down syndrome!

In France they treat children and individuals with autism as lunatics and often institutionalise them.

Your ignorance, generalisations and lack of empathy is astounding.

Whispered

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

this probably sounds deliberately provocative... It isn't intended to be. I'm genuinely curious.

Where are all the adults who have 'uncontrolled' meltdowns when there's music playing, when someone touches them, or when they aren't wearing striped socks every time they pass a zebra crossing on the second Thursday of the month?

I've heard so many stories of uncontrolled meltdowns. And not only have my parents' generation never heard of these until the last 10 years, there seems to be almost no adults of their generation, or mine, having 'uncontrolled' sock or musical meltdowns.

I live near a sheltered living place with a large amount of older people there, and recently had a really interesting conversation with the public health nurse who goes there. She basically said that many of the older people there would be autistic to different degrees. She said that if they were kids now, chances are they would have gone on to have a pretty normal life but back when they were kids they were put into homes.

OldNotWIse

I was on the luas a while ago and there was a kid sitting beside me on those pull down seats. He kept standing up and letting the seat slam back up, pull it down, sit for ten seconds, jump up and let it slam up again. I looked at the mother who was standing across from us a few times to see if her son's behavior had even registered but she paid no notice to him. Then I started thinking in relation to this thread, was I being unreasonable in being irritated by the seat beside me being slammed up and down constantly (some posters here would think I was), or would anyone else feel the same? Curious.

Snugglebunnies

OldNotWIse wrote:

I was on the luas a while ago and there was a kid sitting beside me on those pull down seats. He kept standing up and letting the seat slam back up, pull it down, sit for ten seconds, jump up and let it slam up again. I looked at the mother who was standing across from us a few times to see if her son's behavior had even registered but she paid no notice to him. Then I started thinking in relation to this thread, was I being unreasonable in being irritated by the seat beside me being slammed up and down constantly (some posters here would think I was), or would anyone else feel the same? Curious.

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest but then again maybe im totally desensitized from living with a child 24/7

Whispered

OldNotWIse wrote: »

I was on the luas a while ago and there was a kid sitting beside me on those pull down seats. He kept standing up and letting the seat slam back up, pull it down, sit for ten seconds, jump up and let it slam up again. I looked at the mother who was standing across from us a few times to see if her son's behavior had even registered but she paid no notice to him. Then I started thinking in relation to this thread, was I being unreasonable in being irritated by the seat beside me being slammed up and down constantly (some posters here would think I was), or would anyone else feel the same? Curious.

I'd be irritated. Not hugely so, I'd rather he didn't do it though. I hate cinema seats for the same reason.

OldNotWIse

Snugglebunnies wrote: »

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest but then again maybe im totally desensitized from living with a child 24/7

Maybe that's the solution, we need to borrow other people's kids for 24 hours to get some perspective!

andekwarhola

mariaalice wrote: »

shopping: a parent going round with a child or children and the parent spending the time irritable, sighing, low level annoyance with the child. It is surprising common, I know children can be annoying at times but not all the time.

One Saturday morning recently in the supermarket a middle aged middle class man was doing it with what I presume were his two daughter and one stage he said what's that 'crap' you have picked up, all said in aggressive tone.

Later in life, the kids will probably just about overcome the trauma with appropriate counselling, one would imagine.

mariaalice

andekwarhola wrote: »

Later in life, the kids will probably just about overcome the trauma with appropriate counselling, one would imagine.

To be honest I suspect the parent(s) and child are so use to the way they carry on they are not aware of it at all, and would be shocked if they were videoed and were then shown the video. The man in the supermarket is a different situation because of the underline aggressiveness of the way he was speaking to what I presume were his children.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

I work in a salon, where ladies come in for services. Sometimes the service will take up to 2 hours. It always surprises me when they'll bring their small children with them. Happily go into the treatment room and leave unsupervised children sitting in reception for the duration of the treatment. No consideration to any other people who may be in the salon to relax, and no worries that the child is on their own for so long. The iPad acts as a great babysitter

goz83

Yeah_Right wrote: »

Correct me if I'm wrong (I'm working from memory and not doing any research) but wasn't there a restaurant in Dublin that didn't allow kids in at lunchtime due to the fact that they were targeting the business crowd and some self-entitled mum got in a hump about it? She had to take her toddler to the Four Seasons or something instead.

Lots of people got upset by that but I think it's perfectly reasonable.

Yes, that's right. And both sides are understandable. The owner manager were creating a business environment during certain times, which were free of children. The woman was clearly embarrassed/angered that she was asked to leave.

Smondie wrote: »

In Denmark they leave the baby in the pram outside the door.

Are you from Denmark? Were you left outside in subzero temperatures while your mother sipped on hot coffee in the warm cafe? It may be common over there, but I wouldn't fancy adopting the scandinavian approach on that front. My sister in law is a scandinavian and she is one of the worst parents I know. I have witnessed her being in large supermarkets while the kids were left to do their own thing. Anyway, I won't get into that here. Has resulted in kids who are difficult to manage. They obey me quicker than their parents, which is a sad way to your kids. I had them in a cafe a couple of months ago. Well behaved. Insert one of their parents....they become a challenge. :rolleyes:

OldNotWIse wrote: »

Maybe that's the solution, we need to borrow other people's kids for 24 hours to get some perspective!

Grand. PM me your address and I will get the babys gear ready for you. I want to go to one of those cafes Spanish Eyes frequents

andekwarhola

LexieOnRale wrote: »

I work in a salon, where ladies come in for services. Sometimes the service will take up to 2 hours. It always surprises me when they'll bring their small children with them. Happily go into the treatment room and leave unsupervised children sitting in reception for the duration of the treatment. No consideration to any other people who may be in the salon to relax, and no worries that the child is on their own for so long. The iPad acts as a great babysitter

Your life just sounds like a litany of terror at the hands of parents and their kids.

goz83

LexieOnRale wrote: »

I work in a salon, where ladies come in for services. Sometimes the service will take up to 2 hours. It always surprises me when they'll bring their small children with them. Happily go into the treatment room and leave unsupervised children sitting in reception for the duration of the treatment. No consideration to any other people who may be in the salon to relax, and no worries that the child is on their own for so long. The iPad acts as a great babysitter

Totally agree there. And it's different from a cafe. The bast majority of salons don't cater to small children. Those that do, should be set on fire for early exploitation of our youth via their parents.

I work as a therapist. There are a few counsellors and psychotherapists in the building and some hypnosis too. It's not a child friendly place, but sometimes parents bring their kids in, who are then keft to entertain themselves for an hour, or more. One woman brought kids in of 4,2 and infant (guessing age). She went into get her botox injection and facial treatment, leaving her kids in reception. The older kids were running amok and my secretary had to intervene a few times to stop the 2 year climbing a spiral staircase. She tried to keep them entertained with paper and pens to draw. I was in the middle of a session when this was going on and I heard one of the counsellors let a roar at them. The height of disrespect. Oh and one of our posters will love this.....the mother was French :P

zedhead

OldNotWIse wrote: »

I was on the luas a while ago and there was a kid sitting beside me on those pull down seats. He kept standing up and letting the seat slam back up, pull it down, sit for ten seconds, jump up and let it slam up again. I looked at the mother who was standing across from us a few times to see if her son's behavior had even registered but she paid no notice to him. Then I started thinking in relation to this thread, was I being unreasonable in being irritated by the seat beside me being slammed up and down constantly (some posters here would think I was), or would anyone else feel the same? Curious.

It would annoy me, but I would be more annoyed by the parents decision to sit back and not even attempt to stop it. But I get annoyed by lots of stuff on public transport and adults can be just as annoying if not more so - music so loud you can here it through their headphones on the other side of the luas as if you were wearing headphones yourself. Spreading over seats when the luas is packed making the person next to you uncomfortable. Trying to take up seats with bags when there are clearly lots of people standing. I can't help but think that these people are the ones who's parents sat back and let them misbehave when they were kids without stopping it.

Just to add I think those type of parents are in the minorty. For the most part when a child starts to act up, a parent will react and attempt to calm the situation. They shouldn't have to get up and run away with their for fear of disturbing other people, but there should be some attempt to resolve the situation. It may not always work but this is life.

Utdfan20titles

Ban them all

conorhal

zedhead wrote: »

It would annoy me, but I would be more annoyed by the parents decision to sit back and not even attempt to stop it. But I get annoyed by lots of stuff on public transport and adults can be just as annoying if not more so - music so loud you can here it through their headphones on the other side of the luas as if you were wearing headphones yourself. Spreading over seats when the luas is packed making the person next to you uncomfortable. Trying to take up seats with bags when there are clearly lots of people standing. I can't help but think that these people are the ones who's parents sat back and let them misbehave when they were kids without stopping it.

Just to add I think those type of parents are in the minorty. For the most part when a child starts to act up, a parent will react and attempt to calm the situation. They shouldn't have to get up and run away with their for fear of disturbing other people, but there should be some attempt to resolve the situation. It may not always work but this is life.

Me too. There are days I wish that Viola would give me licence (and a batton) to be the Charles Bronson of Luas security for a day, but most days I'm just happy to know that headphones muppet will be deaf in a couple of years and that disruptive kids mum has to put up with the little $h1t 24 hours a day, wich is punishment enough really.

Sue Pa Key Pa

OldNotWIse wrote: »

I was on the luas a while ago and there was a kid sitting beside me on those pull down seats. He kept standing up and letting the seat slam back up, pull it down, sit for ten seconds, jump up and let it slam up again. I looked at the mother who was standing across from us a few times to see if her son's behavior had even registered but she paid no notice to him. Then I started thinking in relation to this thread, was I being unreasonable in being irritated by the seat beside me being slammed up and down constantly (some posters here would think I was), or would anyone else feel the same? Curious.

I'd be highly annoyed, but consoled at the same time that the parents have to deal with the little shlt 24/7 and I'd be hopping off the Luas in a few minutes

Keane2baMused

OldNotWIse wrote: »

I was on the luas a while ago and there was a kid sitting beside me on those pull down seats. He kept standing up and letting the seat slam back up, pull it down, sit for ten seconds, jump up and let it slam up again. I looked at the mother who was standing across from us a few times to see if her son's behavior had even registered but she paid no notice to him. Then I started thinking in relation to this thread, was I being unreasonable in being irritated by the seat beside me being slammed up and down constantly (some posters here would think I was), or would anyone else feel the same? Curious.

If it was my child he would be told to stop after the first time he did it. If he continued to do it I would probably take him off the luas.

I don't allow my children to behave whatever way they want, I consider other people's sanity, and my own!

Sue Pa Key Pa

Keane2baMused wrote: »

If it was my child he would be told to stop after the first time he did it. If he continued to do it I would probably take him off the luas.

I don't allow my children to behave whatever way they want, I consider other people's sanity, and my own!

But in an earlier post you said

"What I won't do is apologise for something beyond his or my control. I learned to stop doing that some time ago"

I asked for an example of such an event and I don't think you've provided one

Keane2baMused

Sue Pa Key Pa wrote: »

But in an earlier post you said

"What I won't do is apologise for something beyond his or my control. I learned to stop doing that some time ago"

I asked for an example of such an event and I don't think you've provided one

I spoke about that already. If my child goes into a meltdown from sensory overload is the example. I won't apologise for behaviour he cannot help, but I will and there will be repercussions if it's behaviour he can help and knows he shouldn't be doing.

Theres a very real difference between a child having a tantrum and a child having a meltdown from SO.

Sensory processing disorder means everything is a million times brighter and more uncomfortable and processing all of that can cause havoc with their nervous system.