Kids in Cafes

Yeah_Right

goz83 wrote: »

On a personal level, I just wouldn't go to a close family wedding if my kids weren't considered a part of it. But then all my siblings have kids, so it would be strange for them not to part of such a celebration.

Of course. After all your kids are the centre of the universe. Everyone must bend over backwards to accommodate them at all times. Cafes, pubs, restaurants, weddings and the public in general revolve around your kids.

lawred2

Yeah_Right wrote: »

Of course. After all your kids are the centre of the universe. Everyone must bend over backwards to accommodate them at all times. Cafes, pubs, restaurants, weddings and the public in general revolve around your kids.

Is there not a way to communicate that sentiment that wouldn't make you look a right prick?

Spanish Eyes

lawred2 wrote: »

Is there not a way to communicate that sentiment that wouldn't make you look a right prick?

Yeah_Rightis dead right!

zedhead

MeatTwoVeg wrote: »

I agree. There may be cost considerations in limiting invites to the children of cousins.

Funnily enough, I think the last 5 weddings I've been to, the couple themselves have already had children.

Or they may just not want children at there wedding. They don't have the justify their reasons to anyone at all. The wedding is about the couple celebrating their love for each other. Some people choose to have family affair to include everyone and some people choose to get married just them and 2 witness and all other iterations in between.

The attitude that someone who doesnt want kids at their wedding because they are being a 'princess more intestested in a pissup' is ridiculous. Just because its not the type of wedding you would like doesn't mean it doesn't suit the couple perfectly.

Sue Pa Key Pa

Inconsiderate Parents with Misbehaving Kids at Weddings held in Cafes Mega Thread

Keane2baMused

So I had my littlest in a cafe today. We managed to get through an entire cup of coffee without any of the other customers tutting, eye rolling or giving dirty looks at her giggling. In fact people came over to say how cute and good she is!*

Something must be askew with the world.


*no I don't think my, or anyone elses children are little angels or should be let do as they please.

goz83

Yeah_Right wrote: »

Of course. After all your kids are the centre of the universe. Everyone must bend over backwards to accommodate them at all times. Cafes, pubs, restaurants, weddings and the public in general revolve around your kids.

Of course, they are the centre of my universe. Some compromising and give and take helps make the time pass by more pleasantly. Cafes, I take them....pubs, not so much, as they are not at all suited to kids...restaurants, on occasion and at reasonable times, weddings, blah, I won't go out of my way to be a part of what I see as photoshopped day. If I think the bride, or groom are a$$holes, then I won't and shouldn't be a part of their special day. I am just as entitled to politely decline an invitation as the bride and groom are to set the rules of the day, be it no kids allowed, or everyone must wear a condom as a hat.

And lets get real here....they're not the only ones spending a fortune on the day. The afters I recently attended cost me over €150 between petrol, parking a couple of drinks and a gift. Steep enough for an afters we spent an hour at. And many weddings these days are run like a profit making venture, often with the bride and groom choosing a hotel in the middle of nowhere to save a few hundred at the expense of everyone else who now need to pay transport, accommodation and possibly lose 2 days work.

So yes, they can indeed set the rules, but their sense of entitlement is just that. Push too many wrong buttons and people just won't want to be sharing in a special day.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Keane2baMused wrote: »

So I had my littlest in a cafe today. We managed to get through an entire cup of coffee without any of the other customers tutting, eye rolling or giving dirty looks at her giggling. In fact people came over to say how cute and good she is!*

Something must be askew with the world.


*no I don't think my, or anyone elses children are little angels or should be let do as they please.

They were probably amazed at a parent with a well behaved child. I get the train most days and one day I had to sit next to a mother and her little boy. The child was so good the entire journey I couldn't help myself from telling him what a great kid I thought he was. He was delighted and then told me how he was going on his holidays. It made a nice change from the screaming matches most kids are allowed conduct.

Tasden

LexieOnRale wrote: »

They were probably amazed at a parent with a well behaved child. I get the train most days and one day I had to sit next to a mother and her little boy. The child was so good the entire journey I couldn't help myself from telling him what a great kid I thought he was. He was delighted and then told me how he was going on his holidays. It made a nice change from the screaming matches most kids are allowed conduct.

Honestly, I think you're just unlucky with how many misbehaving kids you encounter. Yeah a lot of kids can be little ****s, but well behaved children that sit quietly aren't exactly a rarity either.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

:cool:

Tasden wrote: »

Honestly, I think you're just unlucky with how many misbehaving kids you encounter. Yeah a lot of kids can be little ****s, but well behaved children that sit quietly aren't exactly a rarity either.

I think I have a low tolerance for parents who ignore kids acting up. Most of my friends have kids, and while I would say I'm not an overly child loving person, I am definitely the favourite "fake auntie" to all my close friends kids. I've had enough experience with kids to know they're little feckers when it comes to boundries but they're not bad. They'll play up when they're bored, annoyed or tired.

It's parents ignoring kids being bold I have a problem with. A few years ago, I was in aldi (I think) when this yummy mummy came along with two kids in her trolley. Maybe 6 and 3. I was down by the fruit, and there was this older woman, big lady, clearly didn't take great care of herself appearance wise. The oldest boy started "mommy, that woman's so fat and ugly". :eek: I of course stood around to see what was happening next, the child repeats it a few times, mothers ignoring him, just browsing through what's on display. The lady obviously heard him and turned around, and told him he was a nasty little brat. The mother just started to wheel the trolley away then, never made any eye contact with the lady, didn't apologise, and the child looking shell shocked in the trolley, roaring that he wasn't a nasty little brat.

I work in a salon where women come for treatments, and sometimes the treatment can take up to 2 hours. I'm always amazed at how many parents bring their little kids to a salon and expect us to watch them and keep them amused at reception. Now we've never had a truely disruptive child in the salon, but they do get fed up and bored waiting, and we are not babysitters.

I used to always declare I hated kids, but I've finally figured out I don't hate kids. When I'm around kids, they can wrap me around their tiny little fingers. Ive been confusing bad kids with bad parents for a long time. It's not the kids I dislike. It's how parents handle, or don't handle a situation.

A screaming child is just that. A child. If they're left to scream that's not their fault. It's their parents for not dealing with it or removing a child from a situation.

Elliott S

LexieOnRale wrote: »

It's parents ignoring kids being bold I have a problem with. A few years ago, I was in aldi (I think) when this yummy mummy came along with two kids in her trolley. Maybe 6 and 3. I was down by the fruit, and there was this older woman, big lady, clearly didn't take great care of herself appearance wise. The oldest boy started "mommy, that woman's so fat and ugly". :eek: I of course stood around to see what was happening next, the child repeats it a few times, mothers ignoring him, just browsing through what's on display. The lady obviously heard him and turned around, and told him he was a nasty little brat. The mother just started to wheel the trolley away then, never made any eye contact with the lady, didn't apologise, and the child looking shell shocked in the trolley, roaring that he wasn't a nasty little brat.

This mother is obviously awful and should have scolded her child but you need to judge every situation on its own merits. For example, toddlers are unpredictable and if they have a tantrum in public, if at all possible, the best thing to do is to let them get it out of their system. Giving them attention when they have a tantrum can ultimately lead to even worse behaviour down the line. And you can't keep them away from the public, they need to learn how to interact in the world. Being another member of the public in the vicinity of the tantrum is obviously going to be grating but we would all do well to remember that we were once that tantrum-throwing toddler.

And yes, it IS unacceptable for parents to expect you to mind their children when you likely have a million and one other things actually related to your job to do. You're not a childcare professional but I bet they'd be blaming you if you took your eyes off their kid for a second and something happened to them. I used to sit in the hairdressers sometimes when my mother was getting her hair done. But I was never to take the seat of a paying customer and we were never out of our mother's sight.

MeatTwoVeg

LexieOnRale wrote:

It made a nice change from the screaming matches most kids are allowed conduct.

The reality you live in seems unrecognizable from the reality the rest of us inhabit.

Most kids allowed to conduct screaming matches?
How strange.

kunst nugget

LexieOnRale wrote: »

It made a nice change from the screaming matches most kids are allowed conduct.

Tbh, that's complete nonsense.

TSMGUY

LexieOnRale wrote: »

:cool:
I think I have a low tolerance for parents who ignore kids acting up. Most of my friends have kids, and while I would say I'm not an overly child loving person, I am definitely the favourite "fake auntie" to all my close friends kids. I've had enough experience with kids to know they're little feckers when it comes to boundries but they're not bad. They'll play up when they're bored, annoyed or tired.

It's parents ignoring kids being bold I have a problem with. A few years ago, I was in aldi (I think) when this yummy mummy came along with two kids in her trolley. Maybe 6 and 3. I was down by the fruit, and there was this older woman, big lady, clearly didn't take great care of herself appearance wise. The oldest boy started "mommy, that woman's so fat and ugly". :eek: I of course stood around to see what was happening next, the child repeats it a few times, mothers ignoring him, just browsing through what's on display. The lady obviously heard him and turned around, and told him he was a nasty little brat. The mother just started to wheel the trolley away then, never made any eye contact with the lady, didn't apologise, and the child looking shell shocked in the trolley, roaring that he wasn't a nasty little brat.

I work in a salon where women come for treatments, and sometimes the treatment can take up to 2 hours. I'm always amazed at how many parents bring their little kids to a salon and expect us to watch them and keep them amused at reception. Now we've never had a truely disruptive child in the salon, but they do get fed up and bored waiting, and we are not babysitters.

I used to always declare I hated kids, but I've finally figured out I don't hate kids. When I'm around kids, they can wrap me around their tiny little fingers. Ive been confusing bad kids with bad parents for a long time. It's not the kids I dislike. It's how parents handle, or don't handle a situation.

A screaming child is just that. A child. If they're left to scream that's not their fault. It's their parents for not dealing with it or removing a child from a situation.

So, if you've never had a truly disruptive kid at your salon and their only transgression is getting bored at a 2 hour consultation, what's the problem? Kids get bored at dentists, doctors, therapists, hospitals and pretty much every other location that provides a service which involves them waiting. A salon is in the service industry and many of these women can't afford to hire a minder just because someone who used to "hate kids" dislikes them getting bored in the reception. Given salons provide exorbitantly priced services to women, many of whom are low-income, single etc., it's part and parcel with your job to have kids in the reception where, surprise surprise, you're expected to be receptive. If highly qualified doctors/psychologists/dentists are happy to accommodate kids, why shouldn't a salon? Not bringing kids to a wedding - fair enough. Hiring a babysitter every time you go to a salon - insane, idiotic and costly. It seems like you still "hate kids."

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

kunst nugget wrote: »

Tbh, that's complete nonsense.

You'd think so, wouldn't you? Plenty of parents would disagree. Those who just believe in positive reinforcements and those who choose to ignore tantrums while their child screams blue murder

kunst nugget

LexieOnRale wrote: »

You'd think so, wouldn't you? Plenty of parents would disagree. Those who just believe in positive reinforcements and those who choose to ignore tantrums while their child screams blue murder

That is not most parents. Most parents try to make sure their children are well behaved and not disruptive in public. It's a minority that carry on the way you describe.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

TSMGUY wrote: »

So, if you've never had a truly disruptive kid at your salon and their only transgression is getting bored at a 2 hour consultation, what's the problem? Kids get bored at dentists, doctors, therapists, hospitals and pretty much every other location that provides a service which involves them waiting. A salon is in the service industry and many of these women can't afford to hire a minder just because someone who used to "hate kids" dislikes them getting bored in the reception. Given salons provide exorbitantly priced services to women, many of whom are low-income, single etc., it's part and parcel with your job to have them in the reception where, surprise surprise, you're expected to be receptive. If highly qualified doctors/psychologists/dentists are happy to accommodate kids, why shouldn't a salon? Not bringing kids to a wedding - fair enough. Hiring a babysitter every time you go to a salon - insane, idiotic and costly. It seems like you still "hate kids."

I am a manager of a beauty salon. I am not a child minder. I have no qualifications to take care of others children. I am not trained in first aid nor am I garda vetted. They are not paying me for my childminding services, we run a salon and not a crèche and quite frankly, the services we provide include peace and quiet for those ladies who do leave their children with a minder.

It has nothing to do with me disliking children or not, and more to do with me not taking responsibility for a strangers child who would have absolutely no issue in sueing the salon should their child fall down the stairs

TSMGUY

LexieOnRale wrote: »

I am a manager of a beauty salon. I am not a child minder. I have no qualifications to take care of others children. I am not trained in first aid nor am I garda vetted. They are not paying me for my childminding services, we run a salon and not a crèche and quite frankly, the services we provide include peace and quiet for those ladies who do leave their children with a minder.

It has nothing to do with me disliking children or not, and more to do with me not taking responsibility for a strangers child who would have absolutely no issue in sueing the salon should their child fall down the stairs

Jobs are multifaceted. It's analogous to a physicist having to give a presentation and saying "I'm not a people person!" Your primary function is to do people's beauty treatments but there are several tertiary duties involved. Tending to children is one of them as you work in the service industry. If you're such a misanthrope and you only want to interact with certain demographics of the population, switch to another sector or become a nightclub manager, where you'll only have to interact with other adults. Until that day, tending to a diverse range of clients is under your remit.

And that's why public liability insurance exists, by the way.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

No, my job is to ensure the smooth running of the salon. That is, keeping it calm and peaceful for all our clients, making sure our paying clients have somewhere to sit, and to prevent any actions that may cause our business from being sued.

If I want to work with children I'll apply for a job in a crèche.

TSMGUY

LexieOnRale wrote: »

No, my job is to ensure the smooth running of the salon. That is, keeping it calm and peaceful for all our clients, making sure our paying clients have somewhere to sit, and to prevent any actions that may cause our business from being sued.

If I want to work with children I'll apply for a job in a crèche.

And many of your clients expect a place for their children.

You're creating a false dichotomy where you either have to work with children all the time or you work with them none of time (as you'd have it.) I'll say it one last time, you're not a nightclub manager. If you want to never work with children, get another job. Never working with children and not working with children all the time are two totally distinct things and it doesn't take a genius to understand that nuance.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

The irony of someone unemployed telling me to get a job.

TSMGUY

LexieOnRale wrote: »

The irony of someone unemployed telling me to get a job.

I suggested you get a "different job", not a job. Once again, your reading comprehension leaves a lot to be desired, assuming that wasn't just a pretext for insulting me.

I'm a 19 year old who finished his Leaving Cert two months ago and is waiting for a place in Cambridge. You're a salon manager, presumably in your late twenties. Believe me when I say you have no grounds for condescending to me.

Icemancometh

TSMGUY wrote: »

I suggested you get a "different job", not a job. Once again, your reading comprehension leaves a lot to be desired, assuming that wasn't just a pretext for insulting me.

I'm a 19 year old who finished his Leaving Cert two months ago and is waiting for a place in Cambridge. You're a salon manager, presumably in your late twenties. Believe me when I say you have no grounds for condescending to me.

I'd just assumed that TSM stood for two subject moderatorship, and you were telling us all that you studied arts in Trinity!

TSMGUY

TSMGUY wrote: »

And many of your clients expect a place for their children.

You're creating a false dichotomy where you either have to work with children all the time or you work with them none of time (as you'd have it.) I'll say it one last time, you're not a nightclub manager. If you want to never work with children, get another job. Never working with children and not working with children all the time are two totally distinct things and it doesn't take a genius to understand that nuance.

Sorry, but you're completely wrong with this.
Most women do not expect random strangers to look after their kids while they are getting beauty treatments.
Trips to the salon are a luxury not necessity, you might have to bring a child to an appointment , you don't have to bring him/ her to a beauty salon.
Leaving a child in the reception is unacceptable & irresponsible.

TSMGUY

Icemancometh wrote: »

I'd just assumed that TSM stood for two subject moderatorship, and you were telling us all that you studied arts in Trinity!

You're observant! I started on boards back in January intending to study Literature/Film at Trinity but I changed my mind!

TSMGUY

bubblypop wrote: »

Sorry, but you're completely wrong with this.
Most women do not expect random strangers to look after their kids while they are getting beauty treatments.
Trips to the salon are a luxury not necessity, you might have to bring a child to an appointment , you don't have to bring him/ her to a beauty salon.
Leaving a child in the reception is unacceptable & irresponsible.

There's just so much dailymail style hyperbole and whining about kids ITT that arguing further seems futile, especially when it results in me being personally insulted. I'm out.

goz83

goz83 wrote: »

The bride didn't want kids at the wedding to "ruin her special day" and so most of the grooms side who were a much larger family boycotted the wedding. The grooms siblings didn't appreciate the bride calling all the shots and banning their kids from the wedding. To say the atmosphere was icy was an understatement. 1 drink later, we were gone. I've seen more joy at funerals tbh...

That's pretty depressing.

I have siblings who had the no kids rule at their weddings. I have siblings who had kids at their wedding. We had 2 afair, the page boy and flower girl. I can't remember one type as being particularly better or worse. But staying away because of the kids thing is making a very strong statement.

Elliott S

TSMGUY wrote: »

I'm a 19 year old who finished his Leaving Cert two months ago and is waiting for a place in Cambridge. You're a salon manager, presumably in your late twenties. Believe me when I say you have no grounds for condescending to me.

Christ on a bike. The operative word here is 'waiting'. They don't give those places out like sweeties and I assume you are still awaiting your LC results. You'll be needing 600 points which I don't think anyone automatically assumes they'll get. And even if you do get the full complement of points, you're still not guaranteed a place. Hold your stallions there, Mister.

Tasden

LexieOnRale wrote: »

No, my job is to ensure the smooth running of the salon. That is, keeping it calm and peaceful for all our clients, making sure our paying clients have somewhere to sit, and to prevent any actions that may cause our business from being sued.

If I want to work with children I'll apply for a job in a crèche.

But it is up to you to communicate this to the client. All it takes is "I'm sorry but due to insurance reasons, you cannot leave children unattended in the waiting room, they need to be adequately supervised by a guardian, which cannot be done while you are undergoing certain treatments". Yeah you may lose customers or whatever but having kids running around the waiting room will lose you other customers.

Winterlong

TSMGUY wrote: »

Believe me when I say you have no grounds for condescending to me.

I beg to differ!