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Kids in Cafes

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    #812
    anewme
    Registered Users Posts: 11,946 ✭✭✭✭anewme


    Well you learn something new every day. I can't believe that anyone would assume people not named on an invite to anything were just allowed rock up!

    Next people will have to put on their invites, invitee only, non transferable:pac:


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    #813
    lawred2
    Registered Users Posts: 24,375 ✭✭✭✭lawred2


    anewme wrote: »
    Well you learn something new every day. I can't believe that anyone would assume people not named on an invite to anything were just allowed rock up!

    Next people will have to put on their invites, invitee only, non transferable:pac:

    I'm not going to argue with something that was not said.


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    #814
    zedhead
    Registered Users Posts: 602 ✭✭✭zedhead


    lawred2 wrote: »
    Well you see this is where me and you differ...

    I don't see it as extending a specific invitation to a child; I see it as saying to someone whom I would like the presence of at our wedding that whatever it takes for them to be at our wedding is fine by us. If that means, due to their own circumstances that they have to bring their children then so be it. The reality is that most will find a way to attend without their children. But it's not always 100% practicable or realisable.

    You come across as a bit of a misery guts who has little faith in anyone but yourself if you don't mind me saying. No offence or anything.

    This is like saying that if the location didn't suit one of your guests you would move it because 'whatever it takes for them to be at our wedding is fine by us.'

    An invitation is just that, an invitation - and if for any reason you cannot or do not want to go a wedding then you do not need to go. You don't get to put conditions on your presence.


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    #815
    Smondie
    Registered Users Posts: 1,193 ✭✭✭Smondie


    Anyone can go to a wedding cermony, wether invited or not. They have to take place in approved places open to members of the public.

    I could rock up to your wedding ceremony with my 10 childeten and there ain't nothing you can do about it.

    If your offended your children aren't invited, take the cost of the babysitter out of the present money.


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    #816
    anewme
    Registered Users Posts: 11,946 ✭✭✭✭anewme


    lawred2 wrote: »
    I'm not going to argue with something that was not said.

    That's the point. It was not said or put in writing.

    the bizarre logic you implied that by receiving an invite to YOU means (and without it being said) (plus your children if you cant get anyone else to mind them)!

    I'd actually be shocked if anyone took an invite up that way without it being actually said.


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    #817
    namloc1980
    Registered Users Posts: 18,244 ✭✭✭✭namloc1980


    average_runner wrote: »
    Have two kids, 3 and 5 years old.

    A wedding is no place for kids, kids shouldn't be watching people getting drunk and making idiots of themselves.

    Kind of sad really. Don't think this works for family weddings where all the potential babysitters will be at it. Not inviting children in your family to a wedding is poor form. I wouldn't go to a family wedding where my kids were not allowed to be part of the celebration.


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    #818
    Penny Tration
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,687 ✭✭✭✭Penny Tration


    namloc1980 wrote: »
    Kind of sad really. Don't think this works for family weddings where all the potential babysitters will be at it. Not inviting children in your family to a wedding is poor form. I wouldn't go to a family wedding where my kids were not allowed to be part of the celebration.

    Why is it poor form?

    I understand why you wouldn't go if your kids weren't invited, and tbh I totally respect that decision, but I don't understand why not inviting children is a bad thing.

    When you consider that the couple will be paying for seating/meals for all attendees, why would they invite a child when they could use that place to invite a friend?


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    #819
    Winterlong
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,759 ✭✭✭Winterlong


    namloc1980 wrote: »
    Kind of sad really. Don't think this works for family weddings where all the potential babysitters will be at it. Not inviting children in your family to a wedding is poor form. I wouldn't go to a family wedding where my kids were not allowed to be part of the celebration.

    Nephews and nieces - I would agree, but I only have 4 of them. Beyond that any other relations kids would not know me so I would not be inviting them.


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    #820
    average_runner
    Registered Users Posts: 12,851 ✭✭✭✭average_runner


    namloc1980 wrote: »
    Kind of sad really. Don't think this works for family weddings where all the potential babysitters will be at it. Not inviting children in your family to a wedding is poor form. I wouldn't go to a family wedding where my kids were not allowed to be part of the celebration.


    Thats your choice, but you got to respect the bride and groom wishes, as it is their day and not yours.

    But its not fair on a little kid to be up all hours just so you can have a family celebration.
    Our daughter was a flower girl at a wedding, us and her were in bed by 9pm.

    So if you do bring them, ensure they go to bed early and not left in the room on their own


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    #821
    kunst nugget
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,375 ✭✭✭✭kunst nugget


    lawred2 wrote: »
    Friend of mine is getting married in October. We would have been going without kids because ultimately we like to have the day away. The fiance has explicitly stated that kids are not welcome. Fine. Whatever, that's what she wants. We were going anyway because he's my friend. Doesn't come across too well though. To me that is.

    Obviously some on here would give her the standing ovation.

    It's not about giving them a standing ovation, it's about respecting their wishes on how they want to conduct their wedding day. I find a lot of things about weddings completely contrary to how I would do it but that's their business.

    Can you imagine saying 'Look, thanks for the invite but unless you cut out that wrist-binding shíte, the wedding favours, that stupid fúcking photo booth and that sweet cart I'm not going'. Yet people seem to feel free to do this to couples when it comes to them wanting a child free wedding. 'Thanks for the invite but unless our children are invited, we're not coming'

    In terms of the wedding you are going to. You were happy to head along without the children but now that the bride to be says she doesn't want children, suddenly it's an issue? That's a bit odd to be honest…


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    #822
    qo2cj1dsne8y4k
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23,646 ✭✭✭✭qo2cj1dsne8y4k


    Because the whole world revolves around other people's children.
    That comes across as selfish, wanting a child free wedding, but hey, what can I say! I was over indulged as a child ;)


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    #823
    namloc1980
    Registered Users Posts: 18,244 ✭✭✭✭namloc1980


    Penny Tration wrote: »
    Why is it poor form?

    I understand why you wouldn't go if your kids weren't invited, and tbh I totally respect that decision, but I don't understand why not inviting children is a bad thing.

    When you consider that the couple will be paying for seating/meals for all attendees, why would they invite a child when they could use that place to invite a friend?

    You're putting friends ahead of family in that scenario. And is it not possible to invite your friend and the children in your family? Why is it a one or the other choice.


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    #824
    qo2cj1dsne8y4k
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23,646 ✭✭✭✭qo2cj1dsne8y4k


    Because people aren't haemorrhaging 50 euro notes?


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    #825
    lawred2
    Registered Users Posts: 24,375 ✭✭✭✭lawred2


    kunst nugget wrote: »
    It's not about giving them a standing ovation, it's about respecting their wishes on how they want to conduct their wedding day. I find a lot of things about weddings completely contrary to how I would do it but that's their business.

    Can you imagine saying 'Look, thanks for the invite but unless you cut out that wrist-binding shíte, the wedding favours, that stupid fúcking photo booth and that sweet cart I'm not going'. Yet people seem to feel free to do this to couples when it comes to them wanting a child free wedding. 'Thanks for the invite but unless our children are invited, we're not coming'

    In terms of the wedding you are going to. You were happy to head along without the children but now that the bride to be says she doesn't want children, suddenly it's an issue? That's a bit odd to be honest…

    Wouldn't call it an issue. That would be over egging the pudding by a long way.

    It doesn't come across on the invitation to me as particularly cordial. That's pretty much the extent of what I wrote.


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    #826
    OldNotWIse
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,468 ✭✭✭✭OldNotWIse


    lawred2 wrote: »
    Did I say oblige?

    Nobody is obliged to do anything.

    But I personally wouldn't find a conditional invite as being particularly friendly or cordial...

    What word would you use to describe them feeling like they have to do something they don't want to do in order to appease others?


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    #827
    average_runner
    Registered Users Posts: 12,851 ✭✭✭✭average_runner


    namloc1980 wrote: »
    You're putting friends ahead of family in that scenario. And is it not possible to invite your friend and the children in your family? Why is it a one or the other choice.


    Because the cost of it. Extra people put the cost of a wedding up.
    Also will the child stay quiet during the mass or the ceremony? Probably the most important part


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    #828
    namloc1980
    Registered Users Posts: 18,244 ✭✭✭✭namloc1980


    average_runner wrote: »
    Thats your choice, but you got to respect the bride and groom wishes, as it is their day and not yours.

    It is respecting their wishes in that scenario. They don't want members of their family who are kids at the wedding. Fine but that also means I can't go as Granny or the usual babysitters will also be at the wedding.


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    #829
    average_runner
    Registered Users Posts: 12,851 ✭✭✭✭average_runner


    namloc1980 wrote: »
    It is respecting their wishes in that scenario. They don't want members of their family who are kids at the wedding. Fine but that also means I can't go as Granny or the usual babysitters will also be at the wedding.


    What about the inlaws? Can they not mine them? No baby sitter?

    Get a baby sitter for 3-4 hours and head back home at 8pm to your kid.


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    #830
    anewme
    Registered Users Posts: 11,946 ✭✭✭✭anewme


    kunst nugget wrote: »
    that stupid fúcking photo booth and that sweet cart I'm not going'.

    Off topic I know but I'm glad I'm not the only one who hates the Sweet, sorry Candy Cart!!!!!


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    #831
    kunst nugget
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,375 ✭✭✭✭kunst nugget


    namloc1980 wrote: »
    It is respecting their wishes in that scenario. They don't want members of their family who are kids at the wedding. Fine but that also means I can't go as Granny or the usual babysitters will also be at the wedding.

    Generally families don't do incest so there will usually be another ser of grannies, uncles and aunties you can call on so that you can attend the wedding. We've used both sides of the family depending on the wedding we were attending.


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    #832
    Dolbert
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,154 ✭✭✭Dolbert


    I'd want to have a very good reason to bring my child to a wedding tbh


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    #833
    namloc1980
    Registered Users Posts: 18,244 ✭✭✭✭namloc1980


    average_runner wrote: »
    Because the cost of it. Extra people put the cost of a wedding up.
    Also will the child stay quiet during the mass or the ceremony? Probably the most important part

    Presumably you would invite the friend in the expectation you'll get a cash gift to offset the cost. Quite miserly really.


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    #834
    kunst nugget
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,375 ✭✭✭✭kunst nugget


    namloc1980 wrote: »
    Presumably you would invite the friend in the expectation you'll get a cash gift to offset the cost. Quite miserly really.

    Presumably they'll invite the friend because they're, like, em, friends… Plus the 6 year old niece is shít when it comes to doing slammers.


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    #835
    average_runner
    Registered Users Posts: 12,851 ✭✭✭✭average_runner


    namloc1980 wrote: »
    Presumably you would invite the friend in the expectation you'll get a cash gift to offset the cost. Quite miserly really.


    Nice of you to pick one part of my point but not the other parts.

    PS They invite the friend because they are friends with them, probably for a long time and more than likely closer to that friend than they are to you.


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    #836
    namloc1980
    Registered Users Posts: 18,244 ✭✭✭✭namloc1980


    kunst nugget wrote: »
    Generally families don't do incest so there will usually be another ser of grannies, uncles and aunties you can call on so that you can attend the wedding. We've used both sides of the family depending on the wedding we were attending.

    Not interested when it's a family wedding. My brother / sister doesn't want their niece or nephew at the wedding. Fine but don't expect me to attend either.


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    #837
    average_runner
    Registered Users Posts: 12,851 ✭✭✭✭average_runner


    namloc1980 wrote: »
    Not interested when it's a family wedding. My brother / sister doesn't want their niece or nephew at the wedding. Fine but don't expect me to attend either.


    Nice brother/sister you are. Dictating what you want at their big day.

    Got news for you, ITS NOT ABOUT YOU.


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    #838
    namloc1980
    Registered Users Posts: 18,244 ✭✭✭✭namloc1980


    average_runner wrote: »
    Nice of you to pick one part of my point but not the other parts.

    PS They invite the friend because they are friends with them, probably for a long time and more than likely closer to that friend than they are to you.

    You cited cost as the reason, not because they're good friends.


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    #839
    namloc1980
    Registered Users Posts: 18,244 ✭✭✭✭namloc1980


    average_runner wrote: »
    Nice brother/sister you are. Dictating what you want at their big day.

    Got news for you, ITS NOT ABOUT YOU.

    I'm not dictating. I'm going with their wish for no kids at the wedding.


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    #840
    average_runner
    Registered Users Posts: 12,851 ✭✭✭✭average_runner


    namloc1980 wrote: »
    You cited cost as the reason, not because they're good friends.


    I also cited the ceremony part in the same post


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    #841
    average_runner
    Registered Users Posts: 12,851 ✭✭✭✭average_runner


    namloc1980 wrote: »
    I'm not dictating. I'm going with their wish for no kids at the wedding.


    You said the opposite above, that you won't attend


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