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Kids in Cafes

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    #872
    goz83
    Registered Users Posts: 8,034 ✭✭✭goz83


    Penny Tration wrote: »
    You were at one point childless. It's totally different to deciding never to have children, and sticking to it. As such, if you're going to tell childfree people they can't understand a parent's perspective, similarly you can't understand the perspective of one who is childfree.

    OK. Moving on :rolleyes:


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    #873
    Dubl07
    Registered Users Posts: 1,801 ✭✭✭Dubl07


    The thread is about cafes, not weddings. I've no problem with children in cafes, nor children at weddings.

    As a child, I was at some of my aunts' and uncles' weddings and was excluded from others. I've been to weddings with children at the heart and a very few where children were absent. Nothing on the planet is more fun than dancing with small children.

    I have to confess that in any of the weddings with children, even ones where the marrying couple's offspring were attempting to run riot, a wink or nod in the right direction had the toddler under someone's arm and out the door for a game of hide and seek, or captivated by car-keys, a mirror or if the parents had anticipated a revolt, a go-bag with colouring pencils or the like that had the culprit contentedly and quietly under a seat. Wherever you bring a small, savage person, you need to have a contingency plan and support from people around you.

    That brings us back full circle to cafes. When you walk in the door of a cafe, you are still responsible for the care of your child. The wellbeing, nutrition, discipline of your child. Yes, it helps if there are crayons or colouring pens and paper in the cafe but it helps a lot more if you bring your own along with your child. You alone know that your child will be there on that day at that time and may need distraction. You alone should know if your child is likely to misbehave and need a swift trip outside for a discussion on acceptable behaviour.


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    #874
    qo2cj1dsne8y4k
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23,646 ✭✭✭✭qo2cj1dsne8y4k


    How does unprotected sex make your opinion more valid than everyone else's?


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    #875
    goz83
    Registered Users Posts: 8,034 ✭✭✭goz83


    LexieOnRale wrote: »
    How does unprotected sex make your opinion more valid than everyone else's?

    Your question/comment is a bit distasteful tbh and below the belt. I wrote it off with humour, but then decided that it needed to be challenged. Having a thanks whore high fiving your every comment doesn't excuse it either. So have a bit of cop on and decency in future.

    So to put answer to a question that could have and should have been asked in a better way, my opinion is not more valid than everyone elses. Please show me where I said that.

    However, my opinion, in direct relation to the with child and child free debacle IS more valid than someone without the experience of both being single and being a parent, as I AM a person who is a parent and who WAS free and single. This means that I have experience on both ends. Those CHILD FREE, non parents, are the equivalent of someone who has seen someone drinking wine and someone who has actually drank it. Not the same thing eh?


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    #876
    anewme
    Registered Users Posts: 11,946 ✭✭✭✭anewme


    goz83 wrote: »

    Your opinion is valid if you have children.I don't mean to be condescending or anything. It's just that you can't really understand both sides if you are not a parent and I don't know if you are.


    It is condescending and not acceptable.

    My opinion is valid whether or not I have children. I don't. By choice. That's not the point . The decision whether to invite children or not to a wedding is purely down to the couple in question and their choice should be respected. She who pays the piper and all that.

    I've been to weddings where children were and were not invited and I can't really recall any difference. I've not witnessed any child meltdowns at weddings. But that said, if a couple chose not to invite children that is their choice end of.

    I have witnessed children misbehaving in Restaurants - not going back to socky gate, but I would be annoyed by that, more so the lack of action by the parents. Child should have been corrected for that and an apology given by parent.. Not everyone is going to be enamoured by your child's sock on their table, while they are trying to relax.

    I laughed at the incident where the French waiter gave out to children acting up, the parent reacted perfectly, some people would give out and say, don't tell me how to discipline my child(as was seen by some reactions)

    In our day, if you acted up had to be given out to by "the lady" or "the man" you were really in big trouble. The problem now some parents don't respect others boundaries. I bought my elderly Mum out for lunch at a pub restaurant and we were seated at a booth next to a family. The child maybe 5 stood up in his own booth and stared over the top at us right into our faces for about 10 mins. Eating the business as the saying goes. His parents just let him as he was not disturbing them and they were left to have their dinner in peace, but my Mum was fed up with it after him staring in her face for 10 mins and said "good boy, sit down now and eat your dinner" His Mum glared at us and was not best impressed. She should have dealt with it when he stood up on the seats with mucky feet (no feet on seats?) so it's this type of behaviour, while no one died, is bad manners and does p people off.


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    #877
    goz83
    Registered Users Posts: 8,034 ✭✭✭goz83


    anewme wrote: »
    It is condescending and not acceptable.

    My opinion is valid whether or not I have children. I don't. By choice. That's not the point . The decision whether to invite children or not to a wedding is purely down to the couple in question and their choice should be respected. She who pays the piper and all that.

    As I said, condescension was not my intention and I believe I made that crystal clear. Perhaps what is murky about my comment, is that I said your opinion is invalid. So firstly, I apologise. It was a slip. What I really meant, was that your opinion is less informed than someone who is a parent. You see, by choice, or design, if you are not a parent, you can't really see both sides, because you have only experienced one side....being child free. So, your lack of "judgement" for want of a better word, is lacking in experience and/or the benefit of having a true understanding from both sides.

    My point was aside from the wishes of the bride/groom and was not a challenge to their wishes. I covered that earlier in the thread.

    I hope that is clearer.


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    #878
    zedhead
    Registered Users Posts: 602 ✭✭✭zedhead


    goz83 wrote: »
    As I said, condescension was not my intention and I believe I made that crystal clear. Perhaps what is murky about my comment, is that I said your opinion is invalid. So firstly, I apologise. It was a slip. What I really meant, was that your opinion is less informed than someone who is a parent. You see, by choice, or design, if you are not a parent, you can't really see both sides, because you have only experienced one side....being child free. So, your lack of "judgement" for want of a better word, is lacking in experience and/or the benefit of having a true understanding from both sides.

    My point was aside from the wishes of the bride/groom and was not a challenge to their wishes. I covered that earlier in the thread.

    I hope that is clearer.

    But as a parent you haven't experienced both sides. You have not experienced what it is like to choose to never have children. It is different from someone who wants children but not yet, someone who wants them but can't have them and even someone who is undecided.


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    #879
    goz83
    Registered Users Posts: 8,034 ✭✭✭goz83


    zedhead wrote: »
    But as a parent you haven't experienced both sides. You have not experienced what it is like to choose to never have children. It is different from someone who wants children but not yet, someone who wants them but can't have them and even someone who is undecided.

    More hair splitting. Plus, it's an assumption. People can choose things and then change their mind at a later stage. It's quite frankly ridiculous to say I have not experienced both.

    I have experience and views from when I was not a parent.

    I have experience and views from being a parent.

    Going off topic here anyway, but I find the continued suggestion that I haven't experienced both sides (whether, or not I planned to have, or expected to have children).

    You've travelled, yes? WOuld you say you can have the experience of being in Australia by watching the TV program Neighbours? Or would you say that you would actually have to have been there to experience it? Would travelling to Australia invalidate your opinions of your home home country (presumably Ireland), or would the whole experience give you a broader view? Lets say you didn't want to travel, bet hey, the family were going to Italy and you had no choice but to go. Does not wanting to go change the fact that you were in Italy, eating their food? (ps...I don't know if you were in Italy, or not, but I think you get the gist).


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    #880
    zedhead
    Registered Users Posts: 602 ✭✭✭zedhead


    goz83 wrote: »
    More hair splitting. Plus, it's an assumption. People can choose things and then change their mind at a later stage. It's quite frankly ridiculous to say I have not experienced both.

    I have experience and views from when I was not a parent.

    I have experience and views from being a parent.

    Going off topic here anyway, but I find the continued suggestion that I haven't experienced both sides (whether, or not I planned to have, or expected to have children).

    You've travelled, yes? WOuld you say you can have the experience of being in Australia by watching the TV program Neighbours? Or would you say that you would actually have to have been there to experience it? Would travelling to Australia invalidate your opinions of your home home country (presumably Ireland), or would the whole experience give you a broader view? Lets say you didn't want to travel, bet hey, the family were going to Italy and you had no choice but to go. Does not wanting to go change the fact that you were in Italy, eating their food? (ps...I don't know if you were in Italy, or not, but I think you get the gist).


    People experience things in different ways - so no you don't understand everyones perspective and experience.

    Yes I've travelled and I've been to australia. I absolutely hated Sydney, thought it was the worst place on the plant and I do not understand how anyone could like it there. Some people do, some people love it. Different experiences and perspecitves of the same thing. So you spending a portion of your life without children is not the same thing as someone choosing to have children. Just how your experience of being a parent is not the same as someone elses.

    You can't be all high and mighty and think only your opinion is more valid because you have children. People who are childfree by choice have their own opinions and outlook on the world, and it all still as valid as anyone elses.


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    #881
    Samaris
    Registered Users Posts: 6,544 ✭✭✭Samaris


    goz83 wrote: »
    Your question/comment is a bit distasteful tbh and below the belt. I wrote it off with humour, but then decided that it needed to be challenged. Having a thanks whore high fiving your every comment doesn't excuse it either. So have a bit of cop on and decency in future.

    Mod: Way out of line. Don't post in this thread again. And report offensive posts rather than going in all guns blazing.

    Update Mod: Reversing the permanent thread-ban to time served following PM conversation.


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    #882
    goz83
    Registered Users Posts: 8,034 ✭✭✭goz83


    Samaris wrote: »
    Mod: Way out of line. Don't post in this thread again. And report offensive posts rather than going in all guns blazing.

    Sent pm


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    #883
    looksee
    Registered Users Posts: 28,437 ✭✭✭✭looksee


    A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »
    I went into a local public library on my lunchbreak to track down a specific book. I was sitting there studying it, quite intently, when some surly Mama arrived with two small children.

    With an air of autocratic indifference, she whizzed her huge buggy merrily between the stacks, while her baby cried, and the fat toddler screeched nonsensical things at an alarming decibel.

    It was bad enough to be sitting there amid the old folks, with the unmistakeable scent of of urine and B.O. wafting through the air, but this woman's conduct was especially odious. At least the elderly lot know they stink and keep a clear distance. But no, not this woman, zipping and bashing around the small library, deaf to the cries of her spawnings, blind to the daggers of my scowling. No social awareness at all.
    A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »
    It's a pretty uneventful anecdote involving a rude woman walking around Rathmines Public Library with a loud toddler and crying child.

    Not only did it happen, it's not remotely unusual in any public space. If I were going to invent an anecdote, I'd at least have the Mama in pyjamas.

    Spend a lunchtime in Rathmines public library someday. It's full of incontinent old folks & surly children.

    I suppose since this thread is about children you may be excused for feeling you can describe them as 'fat' 'loud' 'surly' and 'spawnings'. I suppose you also can be allowed to feel you are being cool, witty, edgy or whatever you think you are projecting.

    Elderly people are not relevant to the discussion however, and your emphasis on their incontinence and smelliness - and indeed their inconsiderate refusal to die and remove the inconvenience of their aged and rotting carcasses from your presence - is at the very least ill-mannered. If your granny knew what you were at you would get a clatter.


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    #884
    kunst nugget
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,375 ✭✭✭✭kunst nugget


    goz83 wrote: »
    Was it a clothing optional wedding? :pac:

    The meal was on a barge which had restricted seating and was moving up and down the canal. The afters was in a room upstairs in the Odeon. Neither venue was suitable for small children imo.


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    #885
    Dolbert
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,154 ✭✭✭Dolbert


    kunst nugget wrote: »
    The meal was on a barge which had restricted seating and was moving up and down the canal. The afters was in a room upstairs in the Odeon. Neither venue was suitable for small children imo.

    I was at that reception :cool: (unless we're talking about a reeeeally similar wedding)


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    #886
    kunst nugget
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,375 ✭✭✭✭kunst nugget


    Dolbert wrote: »
    I was at that reception :cool: (unless we're talking about a reeeeally similar wedding)

    Are we talking about a lot of Northern Soul?


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    #887
    Dolbert
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,154 ✭✭✭Dolbert


    kunst nugget wrote: »
    Are we talking about a lot of Northern Soul?

    Ha yeah, defo the same wedding!


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    #888
    kunst nugget
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,375 ✭✭✭✭kunst nugget


    Dolbert wrote: »
    Ha yeah, defo the same wedding!

    Ah excellent, great day/night had by all!


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    #889
    Dubl07
    Registered Users Posts: 1,801 ✭✭✭Dubl07


    kunst nugget wrote: »
    Ah excellent, great day/night had by all!

    Except the poor little children who were left languishing in their lonely homes.


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    #890
    kunst nugget
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,375 ✭✭✭✭kunst nugget


    Dubl07 wrote: »
    Except the poor little children who were left languishing in their lonely homes.

    It's okay. They thought they were playing hide and seek with us so they felt like champions when we told them that we were giving up because we couldn't find them the next day. Saved us a fortune on babysitters.


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    #891
    Dubl07
    Registered Users Posts: 1,801 ✭✭✭Dubl07


    kunst nugget wrote: »
    It's okay. They thought they were playing hide and seek with us so they felt like champions when we told them that we were giving up because we couldn't find them the next day. Saved us a fortune on babysitters.

    :D


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    #892
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 13,712 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    looksee wrote: »
    I suppose since this thread is about children you may be excused for feeling you can describe them as 'fat' 'loud' 'surly' and 'spawnings'. I suppose you also can be allowed to feel you are being cool, witty, edgy or whatever you think you are projecting.

    Elderly people are not relevant to the discussion however, and your emphasis on their incontinence and smelliness - and indeed their inconsiderate refusal to die and remove the inconvenience of their aged and rotting carcasses from your presence - is at the very least ill-mannered. If your granny knew what you were at you would get a clatter.
    Since this was written late in the night, I assume it wasn't a sober post? Otherwise, jesus, lighten up. It's A.H.

    I don't need to be 'excused' by you, thanks.
    ,


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    #893
    looksee
    Registered Users Posts: 28,437 ✭✭✭✭looksee


    A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »
    Since this was written late in the night, I assume it wasn't a sober post? Otherwise, jesus, lighten up. It's A.H.

    I don't need to be 'excused' by you, thanks.
    ,

    It was an entirely sober post. Do you wish to offer any reasoning as to why you feel entitled to describe an entire section of society as smelly and offensive? Would you have gratuitously introduced black people or disabled people, or indeed any other group into a discussion just so you could describe them as offensive?


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    #894
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 13,712 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    looksee wrote: »
    It was an entirely sober post. Do you wish to offer any reasoning as to why you feel entitled to describe an entire section of society as smelly and offensive?

    Nope. Get over yourself mate.


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    #895
    learn_more
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,520 ✭✭✭learn_more


    This thread has become remarkably quiet all of a sudden.

    Has someone put the kids to bed?

    Think I'll fix myself a nice latte , put my feat up and enjoy all this lovely peace and quiet.


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    #896
    Smondie
    Registered Users Posts: 1,193 ✭✭✭Smondie


    New Expedia survey topping the list

    72% named 'inattentive parents' as the most infuriating hotel guest

    https://viewfinder.expedia.com/features/channel-surfing-todays-consumers-shop-travel/


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    #897
    goz83
    Registered Users Posts: 8,034 ✭✭✭goz83


    Smondie wrote: »
    New Expedia survey topping the list

    72% named 'inattentive parents' as the most infuriating hotel guest

    https://viewfinder.expedia.com/features/channel-surfing-todays-consumers-shop-travel/

    :pac:

    Could you not have found the usual wikipedia link to back it up?

    Personally I find the most infuriating type of hotel guest, is the loud, drunk wedding attendee. Only experienced it once, could hear them two floors below.


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    #898
    lawred2
    Registered Users Posts: 24,375 ✭✭✭✭lawred2


    404 not found

    For me the 3AM drunk is far more annoying


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    #899
    rafatoni
    Registered Users Posts: 469 ✭✭rafatoni


    learn_more wrote: »
    This thread has become remarkably quiet all of a sudden.

    Has someone put the kids to bed?

    They are all running around Lexis salon ;)


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    #900
    qo2cj1dsne8y4k
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23,646 ✭✭✭✭qo2cj1dsne8y4k


    rafatoni wrote: »
    They are all running around Lexis salon ;)

    If you've jinxed me today!!!! :mad: :)


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    #901
    Pac1Man
    Registered Users Posts: 4,394 ✭✭✭Pac1Man


    learn_more wrote: »
    Think I'll fix myself a nice latte , put my feat up and enjoy all this lovely peace and quiet.

    Be sure to keep your socks on.

    #sockgate #tower7 #chemtrails


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