Kids in Cafes

jcd5971

2RockMountain wrote:

Did you think of having a quiet word with the mother, as anyone might do if any child is doing something inappropriate?

And end up in an argument about her precious child being an angel,and her being a crap parent.. No thank you just wanted a quiet lunch.

Alf Veedersane

When we bring our <2-year old to a cafe it's because we want to occasionally feel normal and do something adults do and feel they can do with a child in tow.

I appreciate the annoyance of other people if Littl'un starts making laughing /cooing/making general loud child noises but while I try and minimise it, the fact it happens doesn't mean we're bad parents.

We went to a cafe today and while Littl'un drank her water and read Rapunzel, the horrendous wench next to us was on the phone. We had to endure her conversation.

Tl;dr people should be banned from cafés.

SteM

Ireland, the land of 1000 welcomes my arse. There's an awful lot of ignorant ****ers floating around out there these days. Waaa I want my latte in peace, waaaa why can I hear a kid over the crunch of my biscotti, waaaa. Sit at home and have a coffee if it bothers you that much.

The celtic tiger generation has bred country of ignorant ****bags with no tolerance for anyone else it seems. This country is close to being funked imo.

2RockMountain

jcd5971 wrote: »

And end up in an argument about her precious child being an angel,and her being a crap parent.. No thank you just wanted a quiet lunch.

But you weren't having a quiet lunch - so instead of actually speaking to another adult to fix the problem, you chose to ignore it and seethe instead.

Omackeral

learn_more wrote: »

I like to go out for the occasional coffee either by myself or with friends. Impossible nowadays to find a cafe that doesn't have the atmosphere of a school playground or a creche.

I really think cafe owners should take some responsibility for all this. It's in their interest to come to a better arrangement after all. A one kid per table policy would be reasonable and wouldn't it make financial sense to have more paying adults seated that to have low spending riff raff sullying their establishment who scare off the more desirable clientèle ! I was never taken to cafes when I was a child. And quite right too. It's just a total lack of consideration that parents have these days which is a sign of our times. Sigh.

You should open up your own cafe.



























In China.

SteM

jcd5971 wrote: »

And end up in an argument about her precious child being an angel,and her being a crap parent.. No thank you just wanted a quiet lunch.

So instead of tackling the problem head on at the time you'd rather let it fester for a week and moan about it on an internet forum.

Discodog

Maybe cafes could have a quiet area just like they used to have smoking areas.

mdwexford

Parents aren't going to respond well to negativity about their precious bundle.

It's ridiculous to let your kid over bothering people who want to be left alone, I certainly wouldn't let it happen.

By the same token if my kid was laughing or something and someone came over to complain I'd tell them to go get fcuked quick enough. (Note I don't mean running amok making a ton of noise non stop)

It's an awkward one all round.

Keane2baMused

jcd5971 wrote: »

Non Pc answer here but why should someone trying to enjoy a coffee have to put up with your "flappy special needs kid"

I was having a sandwich last week in a bistro and a kid with special needs walked right up to my table and kept asking me questions, while her mother laughed away with her friend saying how great and funny she is. A horrendously uncomfortable situation that ruined my lunch break.

Tough break for you. I'm sure it was a difficult situation indeed.

Discodog

mdwexford wrote: »

Parents aren't going to respond well to negativity about their precious bundle.

It's ridiculous to let your kid over bothering people who want to be left alone, I certainly wouldn't let it happen.

By the same token if my kid was laughing or something and someone came over to complain I'd tell them to go get fcuked quick enough. (Note I don't mean running amok making a ton of noise non stop)

It's an awkward one all round.

In a cafe, pub etc people should approach the staff & let them deal with it.

ceadaoin.

jcd5971 wrote: »

And end up in an argument about her precious child being an angel,and her being a crap parent.. No thank you just wanted a quiet lunch.

Well if you wanted a quiet lunch then maybe you should have eaten in your home or office? You can't really choose to eat in public and then complain when everyone else doesn't change their behaviour to suit your exact needs. Ever been bothered by loud conversations, people talking on phones, loudly coughing or blowing their nose? I definitely have. That's what happens when you go outside where other people are.

if that was my child I would have told her to stop bothering you and moved her away but you didn't even say anything, maybe the mother thought you didn't mind and was happy to see her child interacting with someone.

jcd5971

SteM wrote:

So instead of tackling the problem head on at the time you'd rather let it fester for a week and moan about it on an internet forum.

Wouldn't say I thought about it to be honest, seen thread read thread comment seemed relevant to the discussion.

My point is why should I have to get involved in parenting, if I wanted to do that I'd have my own bloody kids

bertsmom

Tbh I don't think it matters that the child that approached his table had special needs. The mother ignored the situation or else thought the whole world should revolve around the fact that the child wanted to interact with the person who just wanted to have lunch in peace and quiet. It doesn't make the person a bad person to just want to be left alone special needs or not.

SteM

jcd5971 wrote: »

Wouldn't say I thought about it to be honest, seen thread read thread comment seemed relevant to the discussion.

My point is why should I have to get involved in parenting, if I wanted to do that I'd have my own bloody kids

You're not getting involved in parenting, you're trying to make sure you have the quiet time you want. People would rather have a moan than tackle the problem though.

Keane2baMused

bertsmom wrote: »

Tbh I don't think it matters that the child that approached his table had special needs. The mother ignored the situation or else thought the whole world should revolve around the fact that the child wanted to interact with the person who just wanted to have lunch in peace and quiet. It doesn't make the person a bad person to just want to be left alone special needs or not.

No, but the OP mentioned the fact that the child had special needs and also made him very "uncomfortable".

He made the kids special needs relevant.

Omackeral

While I have none myself, I personally love kids and all their wonder and curiosity. I love talking to them and seeing the little cogs in their heads going around and trying to grasp how they see situations. It fascinates me. I also gather that others don't share this viewpoint and would have next to no interest in humoring a kid for any more than 30 seconds and that's totally cool. Their prerogative. However, if you straight up blank an innocent kid when they're realistically just trying to play, special needs or not, you'd wanna be a complete miserable aul b*stard. Just my opinion.

jcd5971

ceadaoin. wrote:

if that was my child I would have told her to stop bothering you and moved her away but you didn't even say anything, maybe the mother thought you didn't mind and was happy to see her child interacting with someone.

It was perfectly obvious that I did mind, the mother was just a fool, and I had no interest in arguing with her ruining everyone else's day.

05eaftqbrs9jlh

bertsmom wrote:

Tbh I don't think it matters that the child that approached his table had special needs. The mother ignored the situation or else thought the whole world should revolve around the fact that the child wanted to interact with the person who just wanted to have lunch in peace and quiet. It doesn't make the person a bad person to just want to be left alone special needs or not.

That attitude is the exact reason people like my parents are too worried to leave the house with my younger brother who has a brain injury. He's a lovely docile fella but they'd be worried he'd try and go somewhere he wasn't supposed to and annoy someone. I take him out all the time (because I have training in special needs education) and he's a pleasure to be around with. They just have to stay at home with him all day, it's lousy.

alchemist33

I haven't read the 8 pages of the usual shyte these threads bring up, but it always seems that some people are exceptionally unlucky. A child has never ruined a meal or even annoyed me in a cafe or restaurant for as long as I can remember. Some people are really unlucky or really sensitive.

Omackeral

alchemist33 wrote: »

I haven't read the 8 pages of the usual shyte these threads bring up, but it always seems that some people are exceptionally unlucky. A child has never ruined a meal or even annoyed me in a cafe or restaurant for as long as I can remember. Some people are really unlucky or really sensitive.

I get the impression some people secretly love it so they can have something to moan about and make themselves feel important.

groucho marx

People annoyed they can't have quiet time in a public place.....shocking
Children are children they make noise

bertsmom

Keane2beamused I understand what you are saying and if I'm honest I have to say I would be uncomfortable in his or her situation also. A forced interaction with ANYONE is unpleasant. If a child approached me and I simply wanted to get on with my own business I would be kind to the child but at the end of the day other people's children are of no interest for me to be entertaining on my lunch break. Just as the child has special needs that may not be obvious many people have things going on in their own lives that may not be obvious.

2RockMountain

jcd5971 wrote: »

Non Pc answer here but why should someone trying to enjoy a coffee have to put up with your "flappy special needs kid"

Because seeing a children enjoying themselves is a thing of beauty, if you watch it through the right lens;

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/slow-motion-video-packs-a-powerful-message-about-autism_us_5710f94fe4b0060ccda2fc94

Omackeral

bertsmom wrote: »

Keane2beamused I understand what you are saying and if I'm honest I have to say I would be uncomfortable in his or her situation also. A forced interaction with ANYONE is unpleasant. If a child approached me and I simply wanted to get on with my own business I would be kind to the child but at the end of the day other people's children are of no interest for me to be entertaining on my lunch break. Just as the child has special needs that may not be obvious many people have things going on in their own lives that may not be obvious.

That's the best compromise there is. I respect that line of thought so much.

Keane2baMused

bertsmom wrote: »

Keane2beamused I understand what you are saying and if I'm honest I have to say I would be uncomfortable in his or her situation also. A forced interaction with ANYONE is unpleasant. If a child approached me and I simply wanted to get on with my own business I would be kind to the child but at the end of the day other people's children are of no interest for me to be entertaining on my lunch break. Just as the child has special needs that may not be obvious many people have things going on in their own lives that may not be obvious.

I never said otherwise.

The OP made a point of saying the child had special needs and the interaction made him uncomfortable. Not that an interaction with a noisy child ruined his lunch. Slight difference there.

You'd be surprised how mean people can be. Blanking a child that simply says hello and waves to them happens all the time.When you have a 7 year old saying "mum did they hear me?" What do you do? Be honest and say yes except they ignored you or lie and say no honey they must not have heard you?

You'd be amazed how thin it wears seeing people feel uncomfortable around your child who is only trying to be accepted into the world and not feel like a complete outcast.

groucho marx

I've had other people's children approach me telling me such random stuff twice,I just say oh wow really that's great,doesn't impact my life,the child's delighted they told the story and the parents relieved it was a story fit for public consumption.

iguana

Ruu wrote: »

My Jonny is an angle! :mad::mad:

My guess is that when it comes to Jonny you are Obtuse. You think he so Acute but really he's just kind of all Right.

bertsmom

Keane2beamused I get what you are saying that must be so hard for you on a regular basis. I would never be rude to a child and if I thought for a moment I was making life difficult for a parent I would be highly embarrassed however I have found myself in the unfortunate position more than once that because in the first few instances of the child approaching my table and I am not unfriendly I seem to be left to watch and interact with a complete strangers child while they enjoy a leisurely lunch. This I find annoying while they are happy once they can see the child. I've resorted once to leading the child back over to their table and a quick "I'm sure you don't want him/her chatting to strangers"

makingmecrazy

During the fine weather there recently, I was in a restaurant /cafe type place with an outdoor seating area. There was a family of about ten or so including kids nearby. The youngest child there was about 2/3. He was having a bad day. He was literally sobbing crying in the high chair.
I could see the whole family getting really uncomfortable as they tried everything to placate him. Nothing worked. I could see the mother and father getting more and more stressed by the minute as everyone glared.
They couldn't just leave as they had already ordered food.

He was two ffs. Anyone who has ever been in close proximity to a two year old knows that it's like hearding cats. An almost impossible feat at the best of times. They were clearly trying their best to quiet him, when the waitress said to me " bloody crying baby ". I said, "you don't have kids, do you? ". She said " no "

I couldn't help myself smiling at the mother on my way out. We all know the pain of judgey mcjudgersons.

_Brian

TBH I think there's wrong on both sides here.

Some parents definitely have no interest in keeping control on kids and don't realise when they are crossing the line between having fun and wrecking everyone's head.

Equally people need to relax a bit. Families have to get out and about too and occasionally eat or have a cuppa. Yea kids can be a bit noisy and leave crumbs on the table, but they're kids.

Far too many threads with extreme views and positions - all kids are noisy brats- all this - all the other. Life is a series of degrees of everything including noisy kids and busybodies in the corner drinking their skinny mokas shaking their heads in disbelief.

Relax people, life's easier.