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Encouraging child to enjoy sports

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  • 03-08-2016 5:17pm
    #1
    gargargar
    Registered Users Posts: 249 ✭✭


    Looking for some ideas on how to encourage my son to engage in sport. He seems to be very self conscious when it come to playing and thinks he is rubbish. As a result he doesn't really want to play and when he does he doesn't really engage in the game. So the other kids don't really pass to him. When we play at home with his younger brothers he is hyper competitive and gets very upset if he doesn't win (he get aggressive with brothers). This is never evident when out with the local team.

    We bring him to the local soccer team. He doesn't hate it, he just seems to see it as something to get through. So he will just go for the hour but never really engage in it. If he gets the ball he will instantly kick it away etc.

    Should I stop bringing him? I think engaging in team sports is good for a child, but I don't want him to be miserable. He doesn't seem miserable, but I couldn't say he enjoys it. I would imagine if I said that he could choose to not go he would say yes.

    I wonder do other parents have any advice on this?


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    #2
    ptyloch
    Registered Users Posts: 218 ✭✭ptyloch


    gargargar wrote: »
    Looking for some ideas on how to encourage my son to engage in sport. He seems to be very self conscious when it come to playing and thinks he is rubbish. As a result he doesn't really want to play and when he does he doesn't really engage in the game. So the other kids don't really pass to him. When we play at home with his younger brothers he is hyper competitive and gets very upset if he doesn't win (he get aggressive with brothers). This is never evident when out with the local team.

    We bring him to the local soccer team. He doesn't hate it, he just seems to see it as something to get through. So he will just go for the hour but never really engage in it. If he gets the ball he will instantly kick it away etc.

    Should I stop bringing him? I think engaging in team sports is good for a child, but I don't want him to be miserable. He doesn't seem miserable, but I couldn't say he enjoys it. I would imagine if I said that he could choose to not go he would say yes.

    I wonder do other parents have any advice on this?


    Maybe try some individual sports, martial arts maybe? Not everyone is doing great in team sports, I never liked them but I was being forced into them. This resulted in me not liking sport at all for a very long time. Only after i've grown up was I able to start doing some sports.
    Talk to him and see what he likes, maybe take him to one or two classes of other disciplines and see if he likes it there.
    It would be a shame to see him loose interest in sport full stop.


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    #3
    Foo King Ell
    Registered Users Posts: 43 ✭Foo King Ell


    I have three kids. Two boys eldest girl. She is hyper competitive, but she likes solo sports rather than "true team". Eg football is many v many, tennis is one v one in most cases. Might be the same, part of the swimming team, but almost all individual events when you race. That's what she's into. The boys love the team. All are equally as good.


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    #4
    gargargar
    Registered Users Posts: 249 ✭✭gargargar


    Thanks for the information. I am thinking of letting him try non team sports as suggested.


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    #5
    synhea
    Registered Users Posts: 13 ✭synhea


    As a child I was the exact same, super competitive brothers dented my confidence when playing team sports such as GAA, Soccer and rugby. I went but I never enjoyed them. My mother enrolled me for swimming lessons when I was 8. From that I started swimming competitively and did wonders for my confidence as I was a naturally good swimmer. Tennis might be a good option too.


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    #6
    Sunny Dayz
    Registered Users Posts: 5,382 ✭✭✭Sunny Dayz


    It's great that you want your child to ENJOY his sport rather than competing in it. It is a case though of finding the sport that suits him.


    What age is he? He may be of an age where he can say for himself what he would like to do or what he is interested in trying. What kind of games doe he like playing with his brother - that might give you an idea of what might interest him sports-wise.


    My son was similar - not really interested in team sports, my father though it was sacrilege that I didn't sign him up to the local GAA team. He plays football for the school team, kicks a ball around with the local kids while chatting but wouldn't play it at lunch time or off his own steam or watches matches. Tried to get him to join the local rugby team, not interested. Got him to join a kiddies athletics group which was really just a bit of fun and games while the mammies did couch to 5k and he really enjoyed that and eventually got into running.


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    #7
    pwurple
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,449 ✭✭✭✭pwurple


    As the others said, try a different one. I dragged mine to GAA for a while, but she just hated it. Tennis and swimming she loves.


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    #8
    Orion
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,807 ✭✭✭✭Orion


    gargargar wrote: »
    I think engaging in team sports is good for a child

    Only if the child enjoys it. If he doesn't then it's not good for him.

    My two kids have no interest in sport - we tried a few different ones. They are now both in scouts and learning different instruments in music too. One absolutely loves scouts and the other is passionate about her piano playing. One of them is passionate about photography too and both are in their school's photography club. A friend has a son about 10 and tried different sports too - no interest. But then he discovered singing and is bloody brilliant.

    So maybe try other activities rather than team sports? Scouts, music, art, cycling, photography, fishing, coder dojo, dancing, drama ... the list is pretty endless. You'll find something that he has an interest in - then go with that.


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    #9
    gargargar
    Registered Users Posts: 249 ✭✭gargargar


    You may be right. We are looking at continuing with football for another 6 months but introduce him to music. He is in the beavers which he seems to love.


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    #10
    rainbowtrout
    Registered Users Posts: 15,382 ✭✭✭✭rainbowtrout


    Not every child likes team sports or the physical contact it requires, e.g. tackling for the ball. Tennis, athletics, martial arts, cycling are all options he could consider. Now might be a good time to engage with your son, and just ask him what Olympic sports he liked watching (if he has been watching) over the last two weeks and maybe suggest going along to one of those and seeing what it is like, if it's available in your area of course. No point pushing football if he is not happy doing it and there could be something else he's interested in. Who is more interested in your son being on the football team, you or him?


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    #11
    gargargar
    Registered Users Posts: 249 ✭✭gargargar


    rainbowtrout wrote: »
    Who is more interested in your son being on the football team, you or him?

    Yes it would be me. I am conscious that I may be pushing him into something he doesn't want.

    Great idea on the Olympics. He has been in bed for most of it but if I had of thought of it I could have recorded it and watched with him. Still a good idea for future.


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    #12
    rainbowtrout
    Registered Users Posts: 15,382 ✭✭✭✭rainbowtrout


    There's still 5 days left of the competition. Watch some of the evening highlight programmes with him or record some of it and watch it later on this week.


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    #13
    BeardySi
    Registered Users Posts: 1,707 ✭✭✭BeardySi


    gargargar wrote: »
    You may be right. We are looking at continuing with football for another 6 months but introduce him to music. He is in the beavers which he seems to love.

    There are other ways to build teamwork than team sports. If he continues in scouting (and continues to enjoy it) he should get plenty there!

    As for the physical side of sport - he may well prefer something like swimming or martial arts where he's not competing with his brother either directly or indirectly.

    Also, if he's in beavers, he's still quite young - there'll be plenty of time to build a sporting interest later. As long as he's healthy, happy and active I'd be happy.


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    #14
    peckdunn
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 35 ✭peckdunn


    My own son is the same.

    As a kids GAA coach I can see that they all develop at different stages. You don't say how old your son is but in Beavers so under 9 I'm guessing.

    Some children at that age don't really get too involved. However, it is an important stage for learning skills. If he does not hate it, I would keep going as well as balancing his activities with other interests.

    Eventually, it will click.


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    #15
    mordeith
    Registered Users Posts: 5,278 ✭✭✭mordeith


    peckdunn wrote: »

    Eventually, it will click.

    What will click? His wanting to engage in team sports?


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    #16
    VonRyan.Budo
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3 ✭VonRyan.Budo


    Team sports are great, however children who are not pushy can get left behind in team sports unless they get personal one-to-one attention from the coach which is not always possible. Someone on this thread suggested martial arts, which I found to be a great activity (Tomiki Aikido) for my girls and which, while reluctant at the start, has engendered good self-confidence, improved their focus, is very social and has an element of team also. If you are in anyway concerned about the "martial" aspect, it is generally very light in children's classes, the emphasis is generally on fun and respect.


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    #17
    mordeith
    Registered Users Posts: 5,278 ✭✭✭mordeith


    I played team sports a lot as a child and teenager and while I enjoyed the actual sport (GAA) I don't think I got much out of the team aspect apart from realising that nepotism is alive and well and the 'good' players are only in it to further their own glorious name.


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    #18
    Fatswaldo
    Registered Users Posts: 251 ✭✭Fatswaldo


    I was/am a sportaholic. Played everything I could (because I absolutely loved every second of it, not because of fame or fortune). Ive three lads. Two youngest are similar, sports mad. Eldest however was different. Although we signed him up and he played, he didn't really get the buzz that I or his siblings do. However, around 11 or 12, he discovered martial arts by chance and loved it. It brought him confidence, focus and respect.

    In recent years, hes now 21, he told me he played ball to please me! I never saw it - Not Good! So don't worry, they will find their thing just don't push too hard!


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