Love my job, but my boss' secretary never stops trying to trip me up, bad mouth me et

Hannaho

I love my job, especially the clients I work with. I like to do my best, work my late sometimes to get things done, and take a small amount of my work home to finish it, if I don't get it done in working hours. However, my boss' secretary rules the roost. Letters, particularly that I dictate often never get sent, she will lose files and blame me, bad mouth me, say she can't get through to me on the phone, or she left a message, when no message was received and no missed call on my phone. She has previously told my boss I was organising things over her head, but I wasn't. My boss is nice, but it is her secretary who rules. Other people have also found it difficult to work along side her, and have tried to move department/building. My boss has asked me to meet her and her secretary next week - I feel that I won't get heard in relation to all the stuff that does go wrong, files missing, letters not sent etc, but that it will be all about how she does not like my way of doing things - because of all the apps not sent, letters not sent and files going missing - I have kept lists for every file sent to me and to her, and kept a note of all letters dictated but not received back etc. The meeting is next week, and I've been feeling sick about it all the time I was on my holds. So, how can I get heard, or is it just better to detach and not say anything at all? I certainly don't want to throw accusations that so much stuff, letters, files, appts are never done - that would turn into a complete riot. How would be the best way to cope with this situation longer-term - I like my job otherwise, but the way she acts, the power she is given, and the way she talks to other colleagues, not under my boss, makes me cringe. Would welcome advice re meeting and long-term coping strategies - it's almost a daily thing with her, and is tiring?

Avatar MIA

Hannaho wrote: »

I love my job, especially the clients I work with. I like to do my best, work my late sometimes to get things done, and take a small amount of my work home to finish it, if I don't get it done in working hours. However, my boss' secretary rules the roost. Letters, particularly that I dictate often never get sent, she will lose files and blame me, bad mouth me, say she can't get through to me on the phone, or she left a message, when no message was received and no missed call on my phone. She has previously told my boss I was organising things over her head, but I wasn't. My boss is nice, but it is her secretary who rules. Other people have also found it difficult to work along side her, and have tried to move department/building. My boss has asked me to meet her and her secretary next week - I feel that I won't get heard in relation to all the stuff that does go wrong, files missing, letters not sent etc, but that it will be all about how she does not like my way of doing things - because of all the apps not sent, letters not sent and files going missing - I have kept lists for every file sent to me and to her, and kept a note of all letters dictated but not received back etc. The meeting is next week, and I've been feeling sick about it all the time I was on my holds. So, how can I get heard, or is it just better to detach and not say anything at all? I certainly don't want to throw accusations that so much stuff, letters, files, appts are never done - that would turn into a complete riot. How would be the best way to cope with this situation longer-term - I like my job otherwise, but the way she acts, the power she is given, and the way she talks to other colleagues, not under my boss, makes me cringe. Would welcome advice re meeting and long-term coping strategies - it's almost a daily thing with her, and is tiring?

It's tough if she is deliberately falsifying your interactions.

However, one mistake I think YOU are making is considering her as the Boss's PA. It's clear from what you are saying that she is the assistant GM/CEO. And if you've got that wrong you may have got on her wrong side.

Don't let her official title put you off, you know she's effectively second in command.

Hannaho

Yes, you are right, she is the second in command - but how do I handle her? Some of the stuff that went on - was telling the receptionist not to direct any cals to me, only to her. Telling other colleagues to not put any queries through to me, though I'm the one who could answer their queries, ringing me constantly at other times - up to 10 times in 15 minutes - though she has access to my diary and would know I was with a client, and couldn't pick up. She has done the same thing to others in my job before me - but probably less so as they were internal recruits, and the job and responsibility was expanded when I took the job, as I had specialist training for the job already. It's all so mad!! Want to stay in the job, so don't want to rock the boat. Hoping that if I'm there another year, I might be able to just go part-time - it's impacting a medical condition I have, and I think my Consultant would write a letter on my behalf re part-time work. Going in less days a week, would make it easier in some ways.

Avatar MIA

Well, you could try to play up to her ego. You could go into the meeting and big her up. You would also need to defend yourself as well.

Something along the lines of, 'I really appreciate Ms Xs instruction and think I've learned from her, but I also think I'm doing a good job because x, y and z reasons.'

BTW, not sure what bearing you think the consultant would have on you going part-time. While the company is obliged to aid you while not well, if there's a full time position and you can only meet a few days of that commitment the company could let you go.

A sick cert simply means you cannot attend work. Some people mistake this as a reason to be off work. There's a subtle, but important difference.

Hannaho

Thanks Avatar, that's a good idea, begging her up and then saying that I think I'm doing a good job because of x, y and z. The secretary/pa in question seems to love crises and really gets going when there is a crises, as it builds her ego up if she can be seen to be taking charge then. I know it's about her ego - I need to learn to play more to it - just it's such a busy job, that I don't always have the energy left for that. Re going part-time - I'm hoping it wouldn't be that big a deal for them - the number 2 on the panel was an internal candidate who would grab the job part-time. The only thing is that I had specialist training for this job before i ever got there - and they spent two years trying to recruit someone with similar training - so that might go against me going part-time.

Tea drinker

Avatar MIA wrote: »

It's tough if she is deliberately falsifying your interactions.

However, one mistake I think YOU are making is considering her as the Boss's PA. It's clear from what you are saying that she is the assistant GM/CEO. And if you've got that wrong you may have got on her wrong side.

Don't let her official title put you off, you know she's effectively second in command.

lollllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll very subtle ;-)
But I have seen this countless times, the women go on power trips. The proportion of poisonous sectaries and admins on an ego trip I've seen is quite scary.

Hannaho

Yes, and in the education and healthcare sector, admin staff on power trips seem to be a hazard of the job!

livedadream

Tea drinker wrote: »

lollllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll very subtle ;-)
But I have seen this countless times, the women go on power trips. The proportion of poisonous sectaries and admins on an ego trip I've seen is quite scary.

and of course its only women that do this.

get real mate.

OP:

see how the meeting goes, or if you want to get the idea in your bosses head, send her an emails saying something like yes im glad you called the meeting there seems to be some miscommunication between x and myself, i would really appreciate the opportunity for us both to address any issues so we can work together more productively going forward.

have the details of the works thats not being done etc, and back up everything with proof, emails you have send asking have letters been sent etc

dont be aggressive or confrontational stick to the facts, dont bring anyone else into it, unless you are 100% they will agree with you (ie the receptionist that was told to not put calls through to you)

i agree with the poster who said be careful about her being second in command, she might be the CEO's right hand but that doesnt make her your boss. if her role involves her doing your dictation and sending out letters and shes not then you need to raise it. shes not doing her job then.

Mrs OBumble

I'm sorry but in what kind of world does anyone dictate letters any more??? The 1990s ended a very long time ago.

Type them yourself, it's faster and you'll know that they were sent.

livedadream

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

I'm sorry but in what kind of world does anyone dictate letters any more??? The 1990s ended a very long time ago.

Type them yourself, it's faster and you'll know that they were sent.

Solicitors...
doctors...

but thanks again for proving my point that you dont actually work in the real world with the rest of us.

BrokenArrows

You have already done a lot of the necessary work by documenting the things that have happened.

One thing to note before you go into that meeting to discuss the situation is do not get into a shouting match. Everything should be calm. Let the secretary start shouting if she is like that, but if you remain calm and professional she will simply look like a fool.

Calmly and clearly explain to your boss what is happening.
Inevitably she is going to deny what you are saying. At this point calmly explain that you have documented everything that you believe has not been done.

At this point your boss should ask to see the documentation and should investigate it by asking the secretary to explain why each of the issues had not been done or to show that it had been done.

It is very unlikely that you will leave the meeting with any satisfaction or admission of guilt but if the secretary now knows that she is under the spotlight then she will probably stop what she is doing.

Continue to document everything, because it is also very possible that the secretary will go into meltdown and try and sabotage your work even further.

Update your boss on her performance a week after the meeting or if she is not doing a lot of her job for you then update your boss immediately.

Hannaho

Hi! All, meeting was terrible - secretary just made up lies and lambasted me for everything and the boss sat there and said nothing. She even said that Reception staff said I was always late for apps - but when I asked them they said they never said anything like this, they knew i was always really busy, and clients were never left waiting more than 5 or ten mins - they were shocked and upset that they were implicated also. Now, I can't contact other departments to do my job or help them, and this may expose me to liability under child protection laws. These departments are not allowed to contact me - every contact they have with me has to go trough the Secretary - and then the secretary emails me - the staff in the other departments are shocked and annoyed as this makes everything very long-winded. Secretary made up things, and then twisted other things - I actually didn't recognise the worker that I thought I was and, I think, all the other people where I work, knew me as. I talked to my line manager after the meeting - actually my ultimate boss - and she was completely shocked and upset to hear that this had been going on for the whole year. Now all my letters are to be double checked for the way I phrase things - I have two masters degrees, so I don't think my phrasing will be too out. My G.P was also shocked and has written me off for Occupational Stress for a week, and urged me to spend a few days of the week, writing down everything that has happened. I love my job and feel really upset. What do you all think is going on here?

Stheno

Is this in the new job you took after having problems in your previous job, or did you stay in the old job?

Avatar MIA

Hannaho wrote: »

Hi! All, meeting was terrible - secretary just made up lies and lambasted me for everything and the boss sat there and said nothing. She even said that Reception staff said I was always late for apps - but when I asked them they said they never said anything like this, they knew i was always really busy, and clients were never left waiting more than 5 or ten mins - they were shocked and upset that they were implicated also. Now, I can't contact other departments to do my job or help them, and this may expose me to liability under child protection laws. These departments are not allowed to contact me - every contact they have with me has to go trough the Secretary - and then the secretary emails me - the staff in the other departments are shocked and annoyed as this makes everything very long-winded. Secretary made up things, and then twisted other things - I actually didn't recognise the worker that I thought I was and, I think, all the other people where I work, knew me as. I talked to my line manager after the meeting - actually my ultimate boss - and she was completely shocked and upset to hear that this had been going on for the whole year. Now all my letters are to be double checked for the way I phrase things - I have two masters degrees, so I don't think my phrasing will be too out. My G.P was also shocked and has written me off for Occupational Stress for a week, and urged me to spend a few days of the week, writing down everything that has happened. I love my job and feel really upset. What do you all think is going on here?

Slow down, take a deep breath. There's parts of the above we can't possibly follow because we don't know the detail. Paragraphs may also help.

You've mentioned clients can be kept waiting for 5 or 10 minutes, is this normal in your industry?

The other staff members may not be comfortable saying to your face what they actually believe. Just something to consider.

Hannaho

Moved internally - another job came up and I had the training for it - can't believe this is happening again - but in my line of work, bullying is endemic and I have seen lots of my colleagues getting bullied over the years, and anyone who stood up for them also getting bullied.

Stheno

Hannaho wrote: »

Moved internally - another job came up and I had the training for it - can't believe this is happening again - but in my line of work, bullying is endemic and I have seen lots of my colleagues getting bullied over the years, and anyone who stood up for them also getting bullied.

Well I'd suggest you look at all the advice you got in relation to your previous problem, as it appears to be the same thing happening again
And given your admitting that you never leave patients waiting more than 5-10 minutes it sounds like there is some basis in truth in what the secretary said at least in relation to you being late for appointments.

Why is it that you are late?

Hannaho

Well, I'm actually hardly ever late - sometimes, there is someone to be seen as an urgent case that can just arrive suddenly. Sometimes, also there are no rooms to see people, and I have to wait for someone else to finish using the room - hot desking I think it's called!

Stheno

Hannaho wrote: »

Well, I'm actually hardly ever late - sometimes, there is someone to be seen as an urgent case that can just arrive suddenly. Sometimes, also there are no rooms to see people, and I have to wait for someone else to finish using the room - hot desking I think it's called!

But that's not what you said earlier, you said you don't leave them waiting more than ten minutes usually

I'd genuinely be questioning if you are suited to your line of work given the constant difficulties you have had over the past couple of years as you've posted here and in other threads. Did you follow any of the advice you were given previously about keeping a record of things that happen so you can back up your side of the story?

fret_wimp2

1. While attending the meeting with your boss and secretary, stay calm.
Let her speak first, dont cut across her to defend yourself. Just listen to what she has to say, look interested.

2. For each accusation she has, give a short simple answer of what actually happened/why its not your fault. Do Not Ramble or talk too long. Management don't want to hear a life story or 10 minutes of waffling on who's to blame. 2-3 sentences to counter each accusation she makes. Most people wont take in more than a few sentences on an issue before assuming they have the gist and formulating their own opinion so make sure your entire point is made in those few sentences.

3. Try not to blame anyone else. It is a terrible quality. even if they did screw up, word your explanation so that its not an accusation. you are a team, make it seem like you believe that. Have solutions, not accusations & problems.

IF you can do that, you will appear calm, collected, together with an ability to play on a team and summarize an issue into a short digestible chunk, you have the best chance of looking good at the end of this. Its difficult but if the job is worth it to you, you'll make the effort.

If you lose your cool or ramble on with explanations and accusations you will look disorganized, bitter & selfish, out for yourself and thats not what you want.


On a sidenote, it sounds like you may have some difficulty with scheduling & getting tasks done on time& and its following you from role to role. Its worth examining your workflow, comparing it to others in your team and see if you can improve your habits to actually become a better worker. Its a great quality to be able to see your own flaws & proactively address them.

livedadream

so from reading your posts:

you are public sector,
charity maybe? you have an old post saying its a voluntary hospital, a nursing post? i think.
youve complained of clinications making excessive demands and there being levels of dangerous care due to these issues, if this is true please with all the issues going on in the HSE at the moment please call the whisteblower hotline.

as for the other stuff:
youve posted a few times over the past year or two about moving department because of issues with colleagues,
wanting to file a grievance,
wanting to go part time due to stress,
being off work due to stress,
youve had mediation with a different colleague for potential bullying,
youve been threatened with being moved department due to wanting to complain another colleague or is it the same one?,
the same colleague that gave a personell file to an intern?
another about being excluded at work
then three years ago you posted about getting a new job because you were worried about being bullied in a job before that and were worried about the office politics
4 years ago youve a post about moving jobs and being bullied at work in sligo.

have you been bullied in every role you have had? or is it all the same role with different people? or different departments?

from a HR point of view if you are leaving clients in a hospital waiting for 10 minutes for appointment then id be pulling you up too.
in regards to your point about child safety put at risk because you have to run everything through the secretary you have to report this to the HSE or whatever governing body it is, as this is a very serious accusation.


this is going to make me sound like a total bitch and it does go against everything i do as a HR rep but did you ever think what the common deminator in all this is?

byhookorbycrook

Ten minutes late is still late.

Nody

Mod:
And with that we close this topic once and for all. Hannaho; you've had 20 threads started on the same topic over and over again in 4 years and it stops now. Go back read the previous threads; get legal advice but stop starting the same thread over and over again.