Problems with my wife

amtc

The other thing I would add is that my friend did these injections...she was like a demon hormone wise. Talk about having to take out your words and inspect them. She picked rows with everyone, even her mother told her to cop on. Coupled with a stressful job, doing a course, and never seeing her husband as they both work opposite shifts her consultant eventually said to her she was wasting money. He sat her down and basically gave her a lesson in birds and bees. That was 2 years ago and they have conceived naturally.

pwurple

I think people suggesting she is mentally unstable are jumping the gun ever so slightly.

It's quite common for someone who is stressed to have a low sex drive, and when you get wrapped up in fertility treatments they pretty much tell you exactly when to have sex. If she is injecting to get follicles to a certain size, that may not have happened... or the window may have come and gone and she couldn't bring herself to initiate sex because she felt "off" from the hormones, or was at work, or whatever. We don't know the situation here at all.

I know myself when we had fertility treatments, there is nothing as unsexy as 'scheduled' sex. She may have been given advice not to tell her husband when the fertile window is, so that he doesn't feel under pressure. Again, all normal.

The problem is communication. And it's a tricky one to solve from one side.

Sounds cheesy, but how about some 'dates' OP. Give yourselves some time to chat. Out for a drink, or for dinner. Away for a weekend?

Big Bag of Chips

pwurple wrote: »

Sounds cheesy, but how about some 'dates' OP. Give yourselves some time to chat. Out for a drink, or for dinner. Away for a weekend?

Sound good in theory, but she has no interest. He's tried. She always has to "study" or "finish projects" that never get done. The woman is very obviously floundering. Maybe she has some sort of underlying mental health issue. Maybe she actually is just overwhelmed and doesn't know where to start. But whatever the problem, OP, can't deal with it himself. He's tried. She's not interested in listening or talking to him. So I think if he wants to make any progress with her and his marriage he needs to look to external help.. her GP, her fertility consultant, a marriage counsellor.

If her treatment is as you say, then she should be able to explain that to her husband, surely. Or at least bring him along to an appointment so that they can be told what's happening together. If he doesn't need to know specific dates, then that's fine. But as the husband he should at least have an understanding of what is happening. They have never tried for a baby. Sex once last year. So she doesn't actually know whether or not she can conceive. She thinks she mightn't be able to, and on that basis alone she is putting herself (and her family, financially) through fertility treatment.

That's not how someone in their full and right mind behaves.

joeguevara

Would it be possible to ask her could you go to the next appointment as you would like to get yourself checked out. I reckon (and could be completely wrong) she isn't going to any appointments. And if you went it would confirm it. Surely the doctor would want to see you anyway if it was real. She may or may not be seeing someone but she doesn't appear to want to be around the op. You need to get to the bottom of this. Don't put yourself through 2 years of perceived hell with the masters. It will kill you emotionally. You are worth more than that.

Teyla Emmagan

Your wife is not trying to get pregnant OP.

And you don't generally need to do any studying for a short course. I've done loads. Read the odd book is about it. She is actively avoiding spending any personal time with you. That's awful.

Best of luck sorting things out, I think they might be pretty bad.

taytobreath

Would writing your feelings down on paper and presenting them to her be a possible way to address your relationship issues.

Sleepy

OP, are you sure she's actually attending these evening courses? Given that she's avoiding having a sexual relationship with you it sounds like a pretty good cover for an affair to me...