Going away to camp after 4 days in Kindergarten - opinions?

Cunning Stunt

Hi all,

Our little guy is due to start in his new Kindergarten on Thursday next (1st sep). The following Weds the whole kindergarten (60+ kids) are heading off for 3 days/ 2 nites camp at the coast. So he has basically 4 days to get used to his new friends and adults, before this happens. I am very nervous that this is not enough time. There is no alternative childminding plan as the whole kindergarten is shut down for the 3 days. Any of the staff I spoke to do not seem worried and say that he will be fine - that it's more the older kids who get a bit homesick and that they have never had to send a child home from camp for being upset. There will be 5 other new starters in September aswell, so he won't be the only one. But he's never spent a nite away from us.

Am I being too much of an 'Irish mammy' here? What do you guys think?

otwb1

Wow. What age is he? there's no way I'd let a 4/5 year old off to camp for a couple of nights on his own.

(Staying with friends/family no problem. But not where he'd be expected to fend for himself.)

2xj3hplqgsbkym

Wow never heard if anything like this before. What are the sleeping arrangements ? I would be anxious too to be honest.

embraer170

Can't say I would like that either. How are they travelling?

Cunning Stunt

They travel by coach and they are in bunk beds 16 to a dorm. There are two smaller dorms for 6 people each also. Not sure which ones they will use for the new starters.

They are separated into groups with 2 adults per group and the adults sleep in with their respective groups.

@otWB1- He's not even 4/5 - he's 2 years 9 months!

I think there is a cultural difference at play here. We live in Denmark and it seems that they do a lot more of this kind of things with their kids. No one seems to bat an eyelid here at camp for such young kids.

My heart is torn because I am worried for him, but I don't want him to miss out on what could be a nice experience either!

I got an invitation to an information nite for the new starter parents, so I hope I can have my concerns addressed there.

antodeco

Me personally, I wouldn't let my child go. Heck, I was nervous when my daughter was 7, and why away for a night!

Cunning Stunt

The thing that really gets me is that they have no back-up daycare plan for your child if they do not go. This means that a parent needs to take those 3 days off work. The couple of times I have mentioned it, they look at me like I have 3 heads - it's like they have never heard of someone not wanting to send their kid...


EDIT - I should probably clarify that when they call it 'camp' its not actually camping - it's in a big rented facility with dorms / kitchen etc.

dori_dormer

I heard of this when i lived in Germany! Thought it was great but I'd be abxious too for my toddler especially so soon in a new place. But maybe this will be a great bonding experience for him and the other children? Children are very independent in Germany. Dress themselves, walk to school themselves , go to bakery etc from a very young age. All adults in neighbor hood would expect it and look out for a child in their own rather than take advantage.

Tabnabs

he's 2 years 9 months

Not a hope in hell I'd let him away and out of my sight. Step back from the Danish group mentality for a minute and think of what you think is best for your child and act on that.

Cunning Stunt

Thanks all for your input. I will hopefully be more informed and able to make a decision after this 'information nite' thing.

LegacyUser

No, sorry I wouldn't do it. Not at 2 years old.I'd take the days off and let him go another time. He's too soon in the door for my liking, be a bit different if he was there a few months or whatever. Sure how can he know anybody there after 4 days?
If it's that common a thing there'll be other chances for him to do it, and you might be happier at a later stage too.

genie_us

Aaaghh I couldn't let my 2 year old go away for three days with people he doesn't know! Or that I don't particularly know personally for that matter - I'd end up following them and lurking in bushes and stuff watching him!

Re your worries about him feeling left out, will he understand at that age that he's missing anything?

That is kind of annoying they don't provide alternative care though for the three days.

HelgaWard

I wouldn't let me child go at that age. Far too young in my opinion.

sword1

genie_us wrote: »

Aaaghh I couldn't let my 2 year old go away for three days with people he doesn't know! Or that I don't particularly know personally for that matter - I'd end up following them and lurking in bushes and stuff watching him!

Re your worries about him feeling left out, will he understand at that age that he's missing anything?

That is kind of annoying they don't provide alternative care though for the three days.

It is probably good for the child's development, communication skills going forward. Some parents get reliant on their kids depending on them. It is a safety blanket for the parents more than the child but could have longterm affect, these countries have probably studies done

genie_us

sword1 wrote: »

It is probably good for the child's development, communication skills going forward. Some parents get reliant on their kids depending on them. It is a safety blanket for the parents more than the child but could have longterm affect, these countries have probably studies done

Ah yeah I'm sure it's great for them and they'd probably have a ball! It's just at 2 - to me that seems so young but maybe it's because it's not something that happens regularly here as such so it seems more of a strange idea.

I'm more thinking of him waking up at night and stuff which still happens, or even getting settled for bed and stuff.

HelgaWard

My 6 year old boy started beavers last year. One week later they had a sleep over in the Hall and he was mad keen to go, so we let him, he really enjoyed it. They did another sleep over in the hall at the start at the summer, he enjoyed this too, but found it hard to get to sleep. Later in the summer they went for a 1 night camp. He was moderately traumatised after this, it really effected his ability to get himself to sleep for about a week afterwards. He told us he was scared because we were not there, and he needed to go to the toilet during the night but they were told not to leave the tent. Took a lot of talking and consoling to reassure him afterwards, and to be honest if he objects to going on the next camp, I won't push him to go. I just think a child of under 3, will not understand why he is away from you for several nights, won't understand that he'll be getting to go back home again. It's so close to him started Kindergarten, he might think this is what Kindergarten is, and not understand that in a few days he'll get to go home to you.

Millem

Sorry cunning but I think it is just bonkers! My son is 2 years and 7 months. They must have a very low ratio of adults to kids? When we take teenagers away the ratio is 1:10 whereas in the class it could be 1:30. I wouldn't even let my son sleep on top bunk but regardless of that I really think it is so bizarre! Sure my son thinks everyone in a play centre is his friend even though he wouldn't know them.....no need for nights away bonding at that age!

pwurple

2 years old and 9 months seems young even for danish kindy does it? I thought that it was more 3 1/2 years old the kindergartens started there. I know they do forest schools etc, and are really into the outdoors and building survival skills at a young age, but for toddlers?

Some children would't even be out of nappies by that age, or a cot, and some still are breastfeeding. Bunk beds and 3 days away from home seems like a really big ask to me.

2xj3hplqgsbkym

I agree , especially with Helga ward, how will he know that Kindergarten isn't normally sleeping away from Mammy and a Daddy?
3 year olds don't need to go on a trip to 'bond' , they meet someone on the bus or the street and they are best friends !
I would not send my child.

iguana

sword1 wrote: »

It is probably good for the child's development, communication skills going forward. Some parents get reliant on their kids depending on them. It is a safety blanket for the parents more than the child but could have longterm affect, these countries have probably studies done

Nope. All the studies would say the opposite. There is no benefit to peer bonding at that age and there is a potentially detrimental effect of forced separation from their primary care-giver. What a child at that age needs is secure attachment. That means that they are given plenty of opportunity to do things independently within their comfort-zone (which will vary by child). If you attempt to push a child out of their comfort-zone into a situation they may not be emotionally ready for, you risk making them less secure in their attachment and more clingy in the long run.

Common sense will tell you that sending a toddler away with a group of people he has only known for a few days, is potentially very upsetting for him. And while some children might find it fun, I doubt he'd have any more fun on that trip than he would having a few days doing nice things with a parent. So OP, if you can book the days off work, I would. You can spend some of the time having your own great adventures with him if you are worried about him missing out on a great experience. But tbh, at that age, just chilling out at home, doing a bit of art/baking would be every bit as beneficial, if not more so, than a trip away at that age.

galah

Now as a german i probably wouldn't bat too much of an eye lid either - but for a slightly older kid. Not yet three is very young to be gone without the parents for two nights, especially with a group he doesnt know yet. My son is exactly the same age, i dont think it would go well if he was left on his own.

Could you shorten it maybe, so that he goes away for just the day part even? Pick him up each night or so?

In Germany you start kindergarten at three, and you must be fully toilet trained etc to start - and they would have sleep overs (as far as i remember) - but we were defo older than three for those.

tinkerbell

A toddler going on an overnight school trip with people they don't even know?! A toddler?! I just cannot get my head around that. That's just not right, at all. That goes against every possible normal protective instinct of a parent! I thought you were going to say a child of at least 5 and even that I would not even consider as its way too young but an under 3?! Holy crap, that's just crazy. Take the days off work.

beechwood55

Not in a million years would I have let my child go on that trip at that age.

embraer170

What did you decide in the end?

Cunning Stunt

Hi all,
thanks for all your responses. I can see that the general consensus of this forum is that I should not send him.
But I have not made up my mind yet.
He starts in the kindergarden tomorrow and the deciding factor for me will be how he gets on there. If he loves it, I will consider letting him go.
Someone asked about the ratio of adults to kids. They have 9 adults to 60 kids.
Someone else asked if it's a yearly thing - yeah, it's apparently in its 19th yr

@ Galah, yeah I am toying with the idea of daily drop-off and pick up.

Thanks anyway everyone for your input.

January

Thread closed at the request of the OP.