age Gaps between kids

Woodbrook80

Hi what are your age gaps between your children I'd a baby in april thinking going again soon as I'm in my late 30's also did ye find it hard adjusting to having 2 kids

pwurple

WHO recommended minimum age gap between children to maximise health of mother and child is 3 years.

There are three years between mine, with a miscarriage in between. I find it good.. Didn't have two in nappies, tantrum age was over etc. They play together and are great buddies now.

There are workplaces where they only pay mat leave if there is gap of a certain time between children.

But sure, people manage with twins and triplets. If you have a support system, do what suits your own circumstances.

Macha

Interesting, I've never heard of the WHO recommendations. Do you have a link?

I asked my gynacologist and she said to wait at least a year. I had a caesarean.

Roesy

I'm 37 and expecting no.3 in a couple of months. If this baby is on time I'll have 3 under three for a week or so. My age gap between no 1 and 2 was 20 months. It'll be 16 months between 2 and 3. We always liked the idea of three kids. Two so close in age is chaotic at the moment so I can only imagine what it'll be like with three. I have a couple of underlying conditions which can affect fertility as well as not having age on my side so we were reluctant to leave it too long before trying again. I was pregnant with no.1 within 4 months of a miscarriage, no.2 took 6 months to conceive so we were expecting a similar if not longer time to get pregnant with no.3 and were surprised that it only took a month or so. Pregnancy wise this one has definitely taken more out of me than the other two.

Woodbrook80

Roesy wrote: »

I'm 37 and expecting no.3 in a couple of months. If this baby is on time I'll have 3 under three for a week or so. My age gap between no 1 and 2 was 20 months. It'll be 16 months between 2 and 3. We always liked the idea of three kids. Two so close in age is chaotic at the moment so I can only imagine what it'll be like with three. I have a couple of underlying conditions which can affect fertility as well as not having age on my side so we were reluctant to leave it too long before trying again. I was pregnant with no.1 within 4 months of a miscarriage, no.2 took 6 months to conceive so we were expecting a similar if not longer time to get pregnant with no.3 and were surprised that it only took a month or so. Pregnancy wise this one has definitely taken more out of me than the other two.

Ul be busy is it hard being pregnant and having little ones

LegacyUser

I have a 25 month old and a four month old.So 21 months between my pair.

Downside....it's bloody nuts.The first few weeks were a big shock.They're both in nappies.I literally need eyes in the back of my head when we're out and I never get to finish a conversation with anybody.The laundry has multiplied (not in proportion to the arrival of just one extra child) and my house is rapidly becoming a disaster area.I don't think my kitchen floor will ever be clean again!I spend all day cleaning/feeding/napping children.It's groundhog day!The pregnancy was tough in the third trimester, I was tired, no.1 had bundles of energy and I just couldn't do it.

Upsides....already they're interacting.Already no.1 will sit and talk to no.2 and give me ten mins peace!No.2 has eyes only for no.1. She's rolling over and sitting up way quicker, all she wants is to be in the toys with no.1. It's the funniest thing to see them together and hear them.If no. 2 is asleep etc, all no.1 wamts to know is where she is.If I go anywhere with just no. 1 she wants to know where no. 2 is. I am so enjoying no.2's baby time.I just love the little cuddles, bringing her into our bed in the morning, all the little bubble blowings and grin and coos, because I really know how quickly it passes.I'm just turned 34 and I have a semi-independent toddler and already am giving solids to no.2 .I see light at the end of the tunnel.I couldn't have coped with getting one out of nappies and independent only to start again with another.We have everything in the house and to hand, changing table, nappies, baby clothes, buggy, the works.It's all there.

My opinion was...let's rip that bandage off quickly!!I want a third and it will be soon.Way I see it, I may start to get my life back a bit in my 40s at this rate.I've accepted these years will be a blur of small kids, so might aswell be two kids, as one.What else would I be doing?!!!But I umderstand everyone feels different about these things, my attitude to life in general is to just get on with it.And I've been lucky so far with regard to miscarriages etc.

Lucyfur

14 years

sullivk

I've got a 13 year old, 11 month old and am expecting no.3 in April.
Terrified of having two smallies, even thinking about it is exhausting me!!

Roesy

Woodbrook80 wrote: »

Ul be busy is it hard being pregnant and having little ones

It's tiring but then again pregnancy is fairly tiring full stop! In one sense it nearly makes the time go faster as you are so busy and have less time to focus on yourself but let's just say bad nappies and morning sickness are no fun!!

cyning

Macha wrote: »

Interesting, I've never heard of the WHO recommendations. Do you have a link?

I asked my gynacologist and she said to wait at least a year. I had a caesarean.

http://www.who.int/maternal_child_adolescent/documents/birth_spacing.pdf

I have a gap of 20 months. It was a bit hectic but they really are great friends when they aren't murdering each other (well the youngest killing the eldest). There's no such thing as perfect spacing between kids but I really enjoy having them close in age.

It is a big jump from 1-2 but so is from 0-1! I found certain things hard like both of them wanting to be picked up at the same time, but you manage and time really does fly.

Ms2011

I don't think there is a one fits all answer & very much a personal preference.
There is 3 years ( & 2 days) between my 2 & for me that is perfect, I personally couldn't have dealt with 2 babies at the same time or have 2 in nappies.
Then again I have friends with less than 18 months between babies & they said they couldn't have left the baby stage & then have to go back & do night feeds, nappies etc again, they rather just get all that out of the way in one go with all their kids.
Then there are finances, work commitments, age, health etc to think of.
You can get a million opinions on this but only you will know your personal circumstances & what will best suit your family.

Betsie_xr3i

My age gap between 1 and 2 is 22 months and between 2 and 3 is 23 months eldest is 4 youngest is 2 months it's tough but I wouldn't change it fit the world x

Kaylami

Between dd1 and dd2 is 34 months. Dd2 and dd3 us 22 months. Dd3 and dd4 is 13 months and 2 days.

It's tiring but I much preferred having them closer together!

pastry2010

I have to be honest I struggle to cope with one 23 month old, dear lord you are all amazing, I cannot see myself having another before he starts school (4-5) i think I'll need at least that to get my head around two. I think it just depends on the individual, if you feel you are physically and mentally capable then you could just keep going one after the other!😂 I don't worry about an 'age gap' I'm thinking what's best for me and my family right now and I don't think we are ready for another.

Balmed Out

Ours are 21 months. Personally think its apples and oranges. Do you prefer to gently take a plaster off nice and slowly or rip it quickly.
Closer together is harder in the short term but I think it will be easier later on.

ShaShaBear

It definitely is personal preference. There is a 16 month gap between my two girls (yes, you read that right!) and I haven't found it that tough!
I had an easy pregnancy and labour with my first girl with no PND and a massive support network - it was very easy for me to decide that two wouldn't be so bad :pac: Now, there are tough days where I wonder what I was thinking. My youngest is teething so I might get a solid 3 hours a night if I am lucky and my 2-year old can be a riot on some days and a demonspawn on others but 80% of the time it's watching them share a bag of Chickatees, listening to my youngest cry with the laughter because my eldest has realised that she reacts far better to Peekaboo than silly grown-ups do

Pregnancy-wise it was not that difficult (based on another textbook pregnancy) and I actually found the busy schedule with my eldest help get me over a few slumps and keep me occupied - it really flew in! I can say, hand-on-heart, that I'm really looking forward to going for number 3 and the only obstacle is that our rented accomodation could not support a third baby, so we will have to move to a bigger house before that decision is made.

Vel

I have 16 months between my first and second and 2 years 2 months between my second and third. I love it although there were times when I questioned my sanity at having them so close together! Personally big age gaps aren't for me. I'm not a massive fan of the early baby stage so just wanted to get all that out of the way.

That said, I work part time outside the home and always have done. I don't think I would have been cut out for staying home with them all fulltime with such closeness in age, but that's just me. I'm sure some parents would love that.

fro9etb8j5qsl2

There's 12 months between my 2. That was hectic but tbh I didn't really have time to adjust to having 1 when number 2 arrived so I adjusted fairly well. They get on brilliantly and luckily they've always slept fairly ok.

It wasn't too bad for the first few months when the newborn slept all the time, then it got difficult for a while when she was starting to get more active and then got easier again when she got to the age where they both played together and kept each other entertained.

The key for me was routine. Strict military style routine. Sounds boring but it works. Also getting out everyday for a walk saved my sanity. The neighbours always comment that I'm great for bringing the kids out but it's more for my own sake than anyone else's.

ShaShaBear

Ahmad White Superman wrote: »

The key for me was routine. Strict military style routine. Sounds boring but it works. Also getting out everyday for a walk saved my sanity. The neighbours always comment that I'm great for bringing the kids out but it's more for my own sake than anyone else's.

Not just me then! :pac:
I'm sure the neighbours have seen me with the double buggy out thinking "Oh jaysis, there she goes again taking the kids out for a walk, isn't she good" and I'm outside using the bloody thing to hold me upright and hoping gravity and the wheels will drag me most of the way :P

Maid Upname

22 months and as they are both boys, they are now best friends.

I didn't find adjusting to 2 too hard, I thought adjusting to the first one was harder. It was tough going at first, double buggy, 2 in nappies etc, but then once they were over all that, it was grand.

fro9etb8j5qsl2

ShaShaBear wrote: »

I'm outside using the bloody thing to hold me upright and hoping gravity and the wheels will drag me most of the way :P

Yes this is me too!! :pac: We have number 3 on the way now so it'll be interesting to see if I cope as well with a (just turned) 3 year old, 2 year old and newborn :eek:

LegacyUser

Ahmad White Superman wrote: »

There's 12 months between my 2. That was hectic but tbh I didn't really have time to adjust to having 1 when number 2 arrived so I adjusted fairly well. They get on brilliantly and luckily they've always slept fairly ok.

It wasn't too bad for the first few months when the newborn slept all the time, then it got difficult for a while when she was starting to get more active and then got easier again when she got to the age where they both played together and kept each other entertained.

The key for me was routine. Strict military style routine. Sounds boring but it works. Also getting out everyday for a walk saved my sanity. The neighbours always comment that I'm great for bringing the kids out but it's more for my own sake than anyone else's.

It's ALL in the routine.That's the key.You may get bored, but it makes parenting easier.And it's not forever, only a couple years.Routine and fresh air.And many many snacks for the toddler :-)

livinsane

I'm still pregnant so can only comment on how the age gap has affected being pregnant with another child. My eldest will turn 3 a few weeks before I'm due.

For me, it has been a dream so far. No.1 didn't started sleeping well at night until around aged 2 so I had a few months of decent sleep before getting pregnant. This was worth so much to me. I was back to feeling like myself. I'm having such a wonderful pregnancy. I'm even getting away on my own for a night every now and then, something I found hard to do when no.1 was under 2.

No.1's emotional intelligence has come on so much in the last few months that I can finally envision having two children without a feeling of dread!

Pregnancy reduces your milk supply too so I wouldn't want an age gap that affects the older child's feeds too much. I wouldn't have considered getting pregnant before the eldest turned 2 for that reason alone.

I've seen the 3 year gap working very well multiple times in my immediate family, both in the early days and as time goes on.

Work wise, I've been using parental and annual leave to work shorter weeks. I'll have just about run out of days at the time my maternity leave starts so I've just bridged the gap, without having to go officially part time, which means I'll still get full mat leave pay this time.

cbyrd

I have 5, they're 17, 14, 6 almost 5 and a 21 month old.
It's great fun. The boys (6 and 4)are 21 month apart and great friends. Then there's 3 years and a month between number 4 and 5.
There's 3 and a half years between the 2 older girls and they're good buddies now. 7 years between number 2 and 3.
Built-in babysitters

Moonbeam

I always wanted 4 close in age ,big age gaps would be a nightmare for me .
I have January 09,11 and 13 and April 14 .
The only bits that are hard is trying to shop with all 4 in a super market and the occasional night that they all wake up at different times !

HS3

I wanted to close together. But nature had a different idea so there are 2.5 years between my two. In some ways it was perfect. Eldest was very independent by the time the second one came along. They're quite good friends but now as the eldest is sliding towards 8 and the youngest towards 5 they're interests and life stages seem very far apart. One is only starting school while the other is getting ready for his final year in the junior school. Tis a good gap in all other respects though.

genie_us

I'm pregnant with no.2 and my son will turn 2 two weeks before this baby is due.
We have to do fertility treatment for each baby so that pretty much determined things. IVF produced 7 embryos for us, first transfer worked and my son was born, 2nd transfer failed, 3rd transfer is due in November.

While in many ways our hands were tied with age gap options, I'm glad ( I THINK!!) that they will be fairly close in age. He's still in nappies and stuff and I'm hoping things won't be as shocking now that I have an idea of what is ahead of us! We are so blessed to be in our situation and to have our 2nd baby due, so I'll take whatever comes

Cunning Stunt

We have 2 with 22 mnth age gap. It was very hard at first - big bro was not impressed at all with the little stranger and he had also just entered tantrum territory! Hes grand with her now but it took months for him to adjust. In hindsight I would say it would have been nice to wait until he was a bit older before landing a new sibling on him maybe 2.5 or 3 yrs.... But its always hard to predict because some toddlers are fine with new siblings from an early age. As regards having two in nappies, we didnt really feel that change at all, other than the bin filling up quicker..but i will secondwhat another poster said about laundry multiplying! Nowadays I never see the bottom of that bloody laundry basket!

January

I've 14 months between the first two, 20 months between two and three, and 2 and a half years between three and four. It wasn't very hard. Tough if they all don't go asleep all night but sure nothing that can't be caught up on.