Invite conundrum...

TheNibbler

Having a smallish wedding (around 80 guests). Ideally it would be smaller but once we started writing out the list it became clear 80 was about the minimum we could do (once we decided it wasn't going to be just our immediate families).

We decided to limit the plus ones to couples where we have met the girlfriend/boyfriend at least once or twice. Do feel guilt above ut not inviting some partners but we just felt we had to keep the numbers down some how both to keep the day relatively intimate and because of the size of the venue we chose. As a compromise we plan on telling those in relationships that they're welcome to bring their partner to the afters (Dublin wedding, all those in question live in Dublin).

However, recently one such couple got engaged (after a relatively short time together). Have never met her but have been contemplating whether it would be strange not to invite her to the whole thing now.....but don't want to make one rule for one friend and a different one for others!?

Have found the whole wedding planning process fairly stress free with the notable exception of the guest list!

GingerLily

You should invite the fiance, you'll regret it if you don't.

I understand not inviting girlfriends /boyfriends you don't know but fianc 's are different.

readytosnap

If you haven't got the room don't invite her, I'm assuming he is the friend / relative of you both so tell him the situation with the numbers, if he doesn't like it and cannot deal with it, then no harm him not being there either.

Pistachios & cream

I understand you feel you have to cut down the numbers but be aware that you are possibly going to have some hurt and pissed off friends.

I don't know the dynamics of your friendships but in my case it can certainly be possible for friends to be in serious relationships but for me not to have met their partner much if at all.

In any case when it comes to invitations it is always best to have a hard and fast rule as to who is invited and who is not. You have decided not to invite partners who you have not met. In that case in line with your rule you should not invite the fiancé here.

If you invite the fiancé it could make your rule on invitations look like an excuse to not invite people you don't like. People do get peeved if their partner isn't invited to a wedding, if there's a reasonable excuse as to why they are not invited then they can't really complain but if it looks like you picked some partners and not others then it can leave a bad taste for people.

cart man

Find a way to meet the new Fianc over the next week or so, perhaps invite them around for a celebration dinner. Then you can stick to your rules yet invite the couple.

JayRoc

TheNibbler wrote: »

Having a smallish wedding (around 80 guests). Ideally it would be smaller but once we started writing out the list it became clear 80 was about the minimum we could do (once we decided it wasn't going to be just our immediate families).

We decided to limit the plus ones to couples where we have met the girlfriend/boyfriend at least once or twice. Do feel guilt above ut not inviting some partners but we just felt we had to keep the numbers down some how both to keep the day relatively intimate and because of the size of the venue we chose. As a compromise we plan on telling those in relationships that they're welcome to bring their partner to the afters (Dublin wedding, all those in question live in Dublin).

However, recently one such couple got engaged (after a relatively short time together). Have never met her but have been contemplating whether it would be strange not to invite her to the whole thing now.....but don't want to make one rule for one friend and a different one for others!?

Have found the whole wedding planning process fairly stress free with the notable exception of the guest list!

Having the plus-ones come to the afters seems a perfectly reasonable compromise. I'd encourage you to chat to your friends to explain where you're coming from and why you aren't able to invite their guests to the whole thing; a lot of the time people just don't look at these things from the point of view of the B+G and once it's explained, they're always fine with it in my experience.
I had to do the same thing myself with several people, close friends whose partners I barely knew or in some cases had never met. Financially, it was a case of having them there without a guest or not having them there at all.

I've said it before on this subject: if they're your friends they'll understand.

Mrs OBumble

If they really are close friends, then I'm finding it hard to imagine how you've never met their partners.

I could understand if they were in a long distance relationship with someone living overseas - but in that case not inviting the partner is a no-brainer. But apart from that, I'd be questioning how close they really are.

TheNibbler

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

If they really are close friends, then I'm finding it hard to imagine how you've never met their partners.

I could understand if they were in a long distance relationship with someone living overseas - but in that case not inviting the partner is a no-brainer. But apart from that, I'd be questioning how close they really are.

We live abroad and only get back about once a year so have just not been back since they've gotten together/ have just missed seeing them when back last due to short trips.

TheNibbler

JayRoc wrote: »

Having the plus-ones come to the afters seems a perfectly reasonable compromise. I'd encourage you to chat to your friends to explain where you're coming from and why you aren't able to invite their guests to the whole thing; a lot of the time people just don't look at these things from the point of view of the B+G and once it's explained, they're always fine with it in my experience.
I had to do the same thing myself with several people, close friends whose partners I barely knew or in some cases had never met. Financially, it was a case of having them there without a guest or not having them there at all.

I've said it before on this subject: if they're your friends they'll understand.

Thanks, I think that's a good idea about explaining it to our guests. I think a few people might be a little put out but at this point it genuinely is a case of not having anywhere for their partners to sit for dinner if we invited them! Not generally too keen on "afters" invites but if it's in the same city that they live I think it's reasonable enough?

Leaning towards just keeping the same rule for everyone/ including the engaged couple. Seems like it would be me passing judgement on the importance of people's relationships if I started making exceptions for some and not others.

ChewChew

Op, a few years ago I was invited to a wedding on my own. It was a relatives wedding who I'd be close enough to, but she lives in a different country and my oh wasn't invited because she didn't know him. I was quiet hurt over it and it left a sour taste in my mouth and I swore when I was getting married I wouldn't do that to any of my guests so all of our next year are getting a plus +1 with the exception of a few who have already said they're more than happy to not have the hassle of a +1. Maybe you could talk to your friends and explain the situation and that while you'd love to include them all just due to numbers it's not really feasible. I think talking to them prior to the wedding is best because when they get the invite With just their name on it, it could save a lot of confusion and hurt!

Mongfinder General

ChewChew wrote: »

Op, a few years ago I was invited to a wedding on my own. It was a relatives wedding who I'd be close enough to, but she lives in a different country and my oh wasn't invited because she didn't know him. I was quiet hurt over it and it left a sour taste in my mouth and I swore when I was getting married I wouldn't do that to any of my guests so all of our next year are getting a plus +1 with the exception of a few who have already said they're more than happy to not have the hassle of a +1. Maybe you could talk to your friends and explain the situation and that while you'd love to include them all just due to numbers it's not really feasible. I think talking to them prior to the wedding is best because when they get the invite With just their name on it, it could save a lot of confusion and hurt!

I wouldn't worry about it. Invite the plus one's. You'll find some of your friends and your partners friends won't be interested in going because they're not interested in weddings/cheapskates/not bothered/working/something else on. Even on the day you'll get at least one no show

Avatar MIA

You'll need to carefully explain to everyone the reason it isn't being allowed to bring a plus one. It might go some way to mitigating the damage.

The saying is that it's Your Day, but you're inviting people to attend without their own partner/friend. You have your reasons, but some people, more than usual, are going to be "unavoidably busy" that day.

Unless we were very very good friends, I'd have a prior commitment I couldn't get out of.

cactusgal

Avatar MIA wrote: »

You'll need to carefully explain to everyone the reason it isn't being allowed to bring a plus one. It might go some way to mitigating the damage.

The saying is that it's Your Day, but you're inviting people to attend without their own partner/friend. You have your reasons, but some people, more than usual, are going to be "unavoidably busy" that day.

Unless we were very very good friends, I'd have a prior commitment I couldn't get out of.

I agree. I get that you are trying to keep numbers down and that these plus ones aren't important to you (because you don't know them), but they are important to your close friends, who are, of course, important to you.

I'd definitely have a chat to your friends before issuing invites to explain the situation, and if people can't come bc of it, don't take it personally.

Just my opinion!

TheBully

Personally if I was your friend and I didn't get a +1 invitation for your wedding, then I wouldn't go.
I wouldn't think my OH would be interested either!
In my opinion invites to afters are an insult, if you are not good enough to be invited to full day , why go to make up numbers in evening?
I never have and never will accept invites to afters.
That's just my thoughts on the matter though

BabysCoffee

While I have attended weddings on my own (after receiving a plus one, I made an arrangement with my OH to not attend for various reasons) I would not attend a wedding where I received an invite minus a plus one.

IMO, it's just not right to invite people to a wedding without a plus one. Whether you know if they have a girlfriend/boyfriend or not.

GingerLily

Put it this way - how would you feel if this friend didn't invite your wife to his wedding? If you snub his fianc that's a real possibility.

Can you not try meet the fianc or Skype them to congratulate them?

GingerLily

*fiance

TheNibbler

GingerLily wrote: »

Put it this way - how would you feel if this friend didn't invite your wife to his wedding? If you snub his fianc that's a real possibility.

Can you not try meet the fianc or Skype them to congratulate them?

I would think it odd as we have both known him for about 15 years. I guess, more generally,when we're married I would find it a little strange if I wasn't invited to a wedding my OH was invited to. However, I wouldn't be hurt/insulted if I had never met the friend doing the inviting. I also think planning a wedding has given me a new perspective on this. When friends in the past hadn't given people with partners a plus one I had thought it a little mean. Now I know that various circumstances such as budget, seating limitations, wanting to have an intimate day etc make automatic plus ones difficult.

mirrorwall14

I find this a little odd and would be pissed if mI had received an invite with no plus one when I was dating someone. You are essentially implying that you don't think it will last or they aren't worth getting to know if you are inviting the married couples partners or at least that's the way it would be read in my house! Weddings are a chance to actually catch up and meet/get to know people's partners. I felt bad about not giving a plus one to my single friends because we were tight on numbers but would not have considered not inviting partners and boyfriends/girlfriends whether I've met them or not

TheNibbler

mirrorwall14 wrote: »

I find this a little odd and would be pissed if mI had received an invite with no plus one when I was dating someone. You are essentially implying that you don't think it will last or they aren't worth getting to know if you are inviting the married couples partners or at least that's the way it would be read in my house! Weddings are a chance to actually catch up and meet/get to know people's partners. I felt bad about not giving a plus one to my single friends because we were tight on numbers but would not have considered not inviting partners and boyfriends/girlfriends whether I've met them or not

Fair enough. However, I do feel that a blanket rule of not inviting any partner that we haven't met is a way to lessen the chance of it being perceived as a judgement on the the strength of a couple's relationship. That was why I am concerned about changing the rule for the engaged couple. Seems there are challenges to giving a plus one to only those in relationships too...do they have to be together for a certain amount of time? Each to their own with these decisions I guess!

GingerLily

Its up to you OP, but I've been the left out partner and it caused rifts in our friendship for years afterwards.

You might think they as you've a "rule" that everyone will consider it fair, but that's not how it works.

jlm29

TheNibbler wrote: »

Fair enough. However, I do feel that a blanket rule of not inviting any partner that we haven't met is a way to lessen the chance of it being perceived as a judgement on the the strength of a couple's relationship. That was why I am concerned about changing the rule for the engaged couple. Seems there are challenges to giving a plus one to only those in relationships too...do they have to be together for a certain amount of time? Each to their own with these decisions I guess!

If someone had a husband/wife that you had never met, would the spouse make the cut?

TheNibbler

jlm29 wrote: »

TheNibbler wrote: »

Fair enough. However, I do feel that a blanket rule of not inviting any partner that we haven't met is a way to lessen the chance of it being perceived as a judgement on the the strength of a couple's relationship. That was why I am concerned about changing the rule for the engaged couple. Seems there are challenges to giving a plus one to only those in relationships too...do they have to be together for a certain amount of time? Each to their own with these decisions I guess!

If someone had a husband/wife that you had never met, would the spouse make the cut?

Well, that would be pretty unlikely unless they had met and married in the previous year. Thankfully we don't have that situation, not sure what we would do tbh.

Avatar MIA

As long as you'll not be too disappointed if anyone in particular on the list that gets a single only invite "can't make it" then it'll likely not be a big deal.

witchgirl26

OP I've also been the left out partner for a wedding but the circumstances were a bit different. I hadn't been with my OH for a long while & the wedding was abroad with very strict numbers. Bride and groom were lovely about it to me but it wasn't a great feeling. At the end of it I did end up going as they had a few people pull out and I was first asked to take a place.

I think it's one thing to not put a plus one if the couple aren't going out very long (less than 6 months) but if it's a fiance, no matter how long they've been together, it's a different thing. My OH has never met one of my friends OH but if we were getting married, it would be a plus one as they've been together longer than myself and my OH.

I'm not trying to tell you how to plan your wedding and I understand about trying to restrict numbers but I would strongly think about inviting the fiance as it could really affect a friendship if you are seen to "snub" someones future wife.

mcgiggles

mirrorwall14 wrote: »

Weddings are a chance to actually catch up and meet/get to know people's partners.

I don't want to sound snarky but I thought weddings were about celebrating the marriage of two people with their friends and family? I wouldn't particularly want people at my wedding that I have never met.. be that "against the norm".. but thats my opinion

Its your day, you're never going to please everyone, try not to stress too much about it.. As others have said, mention it to your friends before sending out the invites and gauge their reaction? The engaged couple I would tend to invite, but new bf/gf's i would understand.. There will always be a certain number of people unable to attend anyways..

clint_silver

non-attendances for whatever reason tend to run at 10-20% depending where wedding is and what time of week.

Whilst yes, the wedding is all about couple getting married, the reality is far different no matter what anyone says as it will affect relationships forever. A gf/bf/fiance/ see their partner as an extension of them, a gf/bf of under a year is debatable, but a fiance has to be an invite for me.

Whichever you choose, definitely call before sending the invites, explain its a really difficult decision but due to finances/space you can only have 80 with closest friends family which means some dont get a plus one, as a life long friend we'd love you to come but understand if you don't. Hope you can understand. Send the invite then.

If I got that call, I would completely understand, and if it was financial Id ask would they mind if I brought partner and would pay myself and top up any envelope with amount.
Thats for them to offer though, not for you to ask as an option.

SarahMollie

I've been the partner who wasn't invited before and I was not impressed.

I didnt know the B&G well by any stretch but we had met on a few occasions. Like yourself OP, they live out of the country so opportunities to get to know them were limited.

The bride was friends with my OH and his group since their school days, and while they'd all catch up at their local at christmas, and maybe see each other at peoples birthdays etc, they wouldnt exactly be close these days. She invited the lads but none of the girlfriends (3 of us).

We were together maybe a bit over 18months and living together at this point. One of the other girlfriends had been with her OH for 4 years, but the other relationship was newer, maybe 9-10months ish. She did text him and say that I could come to afters and the day after, but given that the wedding was 2 hours away, I was hardly going to do that.

Ultimately (after a few RSVP no's I'd say) she changed her tune and suddenly all 3x girlfriends were invited. I'd already booked a weekend in France with my friends so declined but the other 2 went. I was relieved not to have to go TBH, wouldn't have wanted to be there as a tier 2 guest to make up the numbers.

I'd honestly never do this to any of my guests when the time comes. Attending a wedding is a big ask (time and money) so to ask someone to do so without their partner is not on IMO. It might be your special day but its not that special to everyone else, so I think you need to show consideration for your guests.

lainey316

In my opinion if it's a relationship (which a fianc e is) it's not a plus one, it's a named partner (which is not three dates but I would count a few months). We did no plus ones at all, but named every partner we knew of. We had one problem where a friend of OH said he wasn't coming that he was off on holidays, turns out it was actually because his gf wasn't invited and she said he couldn't go. the only reason she was not invited is because we never knew she existed (because why would he mention her :ermm: - I'd even asked OH if he'd mentioned anyone on the scene before we sent invites!) so we were able to fix it thankfully for my OH as he was sad his friend wasn't coming.

However we had space and you don't. I'd try to find the time to explain to every affected couple individually what the scenario is so they don't get offended.

Don't rely on the drop out rates with a small wedding - we had 3 refusals out of over 90 guests and none on the day. Very few of my friends had more than that with similar size weddings.

GingerLily

Yes good point, small weddings have smaller refusal rates, especially if the location is convenient!

Starokan

You will never please everyone on this issue op, as one of the earlier posters said make a rule on it for yourselves and stick to it with no exceptions.

I am not with my girlfriend long but recently she was invited to a full wedding and myself to the afters, it honestly did not bother me in the slightest , two of the other lads were the same, we met up beforehand and went to the afters - no biggie at all, the girls enjoyed the day and we all enjoyed the night. One couple in particular were delighted with it as they only needed someone for the night part to mind their kids.

I think do whatever you need to do for yourselves, I honestly do not get the whole "my partner must be invited" thing - yet I have seen people get really really offended so it is clearly a big deal for some people and I respect that. My take on that is that if people are offended by your decision then they choose not to go which is completely fine also. I think you will find that most will facilitate you as people understand the budgets, numbers scenarios etc that arise.

clint_silver

GingerLily wrote: »

Yes good point, small weddings have smaller refusal rates, especially if the location is convenient!

Sorry, that was point I was making depending on location and day of week. A dublin couple having 90 people down to cork on a thursday will see refusal rates high, a taxi ride home on a saturday may see drop out rates very low. Milage may vary.

intheclouds

I have gone to weddings on my own but dont think Ive ever been invited on my own.

I wouldnt bother going if I didnt receive a plus one and I was in a relationship.

And Id never go to just the afters of a wedding. Afters invites are the height of tack.

witchgirl26

intheclouds wrote: »

And Id never go to just the afters of a wedding. Afters invites are the height of tack.

I think that's a bit harsh. I've had great fun at weddings where I've only been invited to the afters. Sometimes it's due to budget constraints on the couple, sometimes it's just been a way to invite work friends to help celebrate. I'd never think it's tack - you're still getting invited to share their celebration.

GingerLily

There's a big difference between an afters invite for a group of people, usually work or sports team, and an afters invite when your partners received a full invite, the second type is an insult IMO

intheclouds

witchgirl26 wrote: »

I think that's a bit harsh. I've had great fun at weddings where I've only been invited to the afters. Sometimes it's due to budget constraints on the couple, sometimes it's just been a way to invite work friends to help celebrate. I'd never think it's tack - you're still getting invited to share their celebration.

Each to their own, I think its tacky and usually a bit scabby.

Its a way of making up numbers for the evening dancing without paying for a meal for someone. The invitee will still have all of the expense of an outfit, travel, hotel room etc.

If you want someone to help celebrate your wedding then invite them invite them to the wedding and not just to the afters. The term "plate lickers invite" is apt.

SarahMollie

GingerLily wrote: »

There's a big difference between an afters invite for a group of people, usually work or sports team, and an afters invite when your partners received a full invite, the second type is an insult IMO

Yeah I think this is the line really. If its a group of work colleagues then what harm, especially if its local. But to ask a couple to both travel and spend a night in a hotel with only one invited to the actual wedding is beyond rude IMO.

witchgirl26

GingerLily wrote: »

There's a big difference between an afters invite for a group of people, usually work or sports team, and an afters invite when your partners received a full invite, the second type is an insult IMO

Oh yeah I completely agree with that.

intheclouds wrote: »

Each to their own, I think its tacky and usually a bit scabby.

Its a way of making up numbers for the evening dancing without paying for a meal for someone. The invitee will still have all of the expense of an outfit, travel, hotel room etc.

If you want someone to help celebrate your wedding then invite them invite them to the wedding and not just to the afters. The term "plate lickers invite" is apt.

I'd never see it as a way of "making up numbers". Usually if I'm invited to an afters, I don't stay and wear something I've worn before so never a massive expense to me.

I would prefer people didn't spend massive amounts on weddings and get themselves into debt rather than think they have to issue a full invite to absolutely everyone for the full thing. I have a large extended family and if I was getting married there is no way that I'd be able to afford to have them all there for the meal, I would like them there though at some point if they could so would see an afters invite as a good compromise on that. I know that's what my sister is doing. I would hate to think people are thinking she's "scabby" but she has a budget and is sticking to it.

intheclouds

GingerLily wrote: »

There's a big difference between an afters invite for a group of people, usually work or sports team, and an afters invite when your partners received a full invite, the second type is an insult IMO

Oh yes, I was speaking about the individual afters invite.

SarahMollie

intheclouds wrote: »

Each to their own, I think its tacky and usually a bit scabby.

Its a way of making up numbers for the evening dancing without paying for a meal for someone. The invitee will still have all of the expense of an outfit, travel, hotel room etc.

If you want someone to help celebrate your wedding then invite them invite them to the wedding and not just to the afters. The term "plate lickers invite" is apt.

I have to say, I would only go to an afters if it was easy for me to get to, ie a €20-30 taxi ride at most. I would never pay for a hotel on the basis of an afters invite, or make the same effort in terms of my appearance. I'd probably recycle a previous wedding outfit and just do my own hair and make up.

If it can be treated like a night out then its not big deal, but I certainly wouldnt think of putting in the same amount of effort. I think for colleagues or a sports club or whatever, then this is fine.

If it didnt suit me, I just wouldnt go. If I was only getting an afters invite I'd be of the mind that my presence there is non essential anyway.

intheclouds

SarahMollie wrote: »

I would never pay for a hotel on the basis of an afters invite, or make the same effort in terms of my appearance. I'd probably recycle a previous wedding outfit and just do my own hair and make up.

But if your partner had a full invite and you only had an afters one you probably would be staying over plus you might dress up a bit more because he or she would be fully dressed up.

SarahMollie

intheclouds wrote: »

But if your partner had a full invite and you only had an afters one you probably would be staying over plus you might dress up a bit more because he or she would be fully dressed up.

Actually in that case I wouldnt go - as I said, I'd only do it if convenient to me.

As I mentioned earlier on in this thread, that actually happened to me and I was pretty upset by it, and was in no way going to hang around until it was ok for me to join the party.

GingerLily

How awkward to pay for a hotel on an afters invite - if my partner was going and had a room I'd say have a nice day but I won't be joining. What are you meant to do - arrive in seperate cars? Or arrive together and you hide out in the room and get room service for your dinner? Lol

SarahMollie

GingerLily wrote: »

How awkward to pay for a hotel on an afters invite - if my partner was going and had a room I'd say have a nice day but I won't be joining. What are you meant to do - arrive in seperate cars? Or arrive together and you hide out in the room and get room service for your dinner? Lol

Exactly - its just so ridiculous. Whatever about where its local but if theres an overnight stay involved then its just ridiculous.

Myself and the OH had quite the number of rows about this at the time. He thought I was just having a strop but I was so insulted. Like we were living together, I wasn't just some girl he'd just met.

His POV was that weddings are boring anyway so why would I even want to be invited, and couldnt myself and the other uninvited girlfriends just amuse ourselves during the day, and come later. My POV was that I wouldnt be treated like a second class citizen or waste my weekend hanging around from crumbs from the masters table, so if he wanted to go, he could go alone.

By the time my invite got "upgraded" I was really glad I'd made other plans and couldn't go anyway.

R.D. aka MR.D

Would it not be a possibility to have a small intimate wedding for family only and then have a massive after party and invite everyone?

That way, you don't have to leave any one out.

SarahMollie

R.D. aka MR.D wrote: »

Would it not be a possibility to have a small intimate wedding for family only and then have a massive after party and invite everyone?

That way, you don't have to leave any one out.

Yeah I see no problem with this TBH. I think its just inviting one half of a couple that causes problems.

That said, I've heard stories of people who you'd thing would be fairly peripheral (ie neighbours, distant cousins etc) getting seriously bent out of shape when people go down the more intimate route.

witchgirl26

SarahMollie wrote: »

Exactly - its just so ridiculous. Whatever about where its local but if theres an overnight stay involved then its just ridiculous.

Myself and the OH had quite the number of rows about this at the time. He thought I was just having a strop but I was so insulted. Like we were living together, I wasn't just some girl he'd just met.

His POV was that weddings are boring anyway so why would I even want to be invited, and couldnt myself and the other uninvited girlfriends just amuse ourselves during the day, and come later. My POV was that I wouldnt be treated like a second class citizen or waste my weekend hanging around from crumbs from the masters table, so if he wanted to go, he could go alone.

By the time my invite got "upgraded" I was really glad I'd made other plans and couldn't go anyway.

I completely agree with you. I think if you know the name of the OH or they've been together a reasonable length of time then they should also get a full invite.

I know my situation of not getting the full invite was that when they were sorting numbers (foreign wedding) and sending the invites, I was only with my OH for about 3 months.

I think if they're a proper couple and together then they both get a full invite, or both get an afters. Not a mix.

intheclouds

GingerLily wrote: »

How awkward to pay for a hotel on an afters invite - if my partner was going and had a room I'd say have a nice day but I won't be joining. What are you meant to do - arrive in seperate cars? Or arrive together and you hide out in the room and get room service for your dinner? Lol

Jaysus I never even thought of that!! Maybe you could go on your bike to the afters?

GingerLily

Yes, full invite or afters for both rule especially if they're engaged!!

Imagine, you've just got engaged, you open a card in the mail thinking it's a congratulations card, and it turns out it's a wedding invite and you've been snubbed

SarahMollie

GingerLily wrote: »

Yes, full invite or afters for both rule especially if they're engaged!!

Imagine, you've just got engaged, you open a card in the mail thinking it's a congratulations card, and it turns out it's a wedding invite and you've been snubbed

Ha, thats pretty much what happened (minus the engagement). My OH had been talking about it for a while before the invite came, like won't in be nice to go to be in that part of the country for a weekend during the summer, maybe we'll go and do XYZ while we're down there etc. He knew he was invited and had just assumed that I was too.

I went down one morning to collect the post and brought it back up. The wedding invite was addressed to him but he told me to open it as I was going through all the post and then when I saw just his name on the invite itself, it was a bit of a smack in the face.

To add insult to injury the stupid invite was basically a glitter bomb and I then had to sweep up the mess it had made all over the kitchen floor!

intheclouds

SarahMollie wrote: »

To add insult to injury the stupid invite was basically a glitter bomb and I then had to sweep up the mess it had made all over the kitchen floor!

This is such a funny story now!! Before I was like "well thats not very nice", now Im like "omg - lets make a scene in a tv show about this!!".