getting toddler to sleep through the night

celligraphy · 04-09-2016 12:22pm #1

Hi guys ever since I 've started working again my toddler hasn't slept through the night not once , usually wakes up about 3 or 4am and climbs into our bed and falls back to sleep but she hits in her sleep and moves so much . I can't seem to sleep over her doing this and its causing me to be late twice for work already , which I really don't want as I love this job , any tips? She's goes to bed at 9.30

Dtp1979 · 04-09-2016 12:25pm

celligraphy wrote: »

Hi guys ever since I 've started working again my toddler hasn't slept through the night not once , usually wakes up about 3 or 4am and climbs into our bed and falls back to sleep but she hits in her sleep and moves so much . I can't seem to sleep over her doing this and its causing me to be late twice for work already , which I really don't want as I love this job , any tips? She's goes to bed at 9.30

Don't let your kids sleep in your bed would be the biggest tip.

livinsane · 05-09-2016 1:22pm

Everyone has different approaches, mine is not to try to get the toddler to sleep through the night as I think that is something that develops with age, but to re-assess your sleeping arrangements so everyone gets as much sleep as possible.

My little boy is almost three and is sleeping really well with the last year; he was shocking up to then. He might wake in the middle of the night but rather than bringing him into our bed, which isn't comfortable, I'll just go to sleep with him in his own room. He's on a double mattress on the floor so loads of space for the two of us. I find he's much more settled in his own room so doesn't do all the moving around and kicking that he would in our bed. The older he gets, the more nights he sleeps all the way through, and he's in bed at 7/7.30pm. It was a long road to get to that point but they will get there eventually.

evolving_doors · 05-09-2016 5:30pm

Same situation but they grew out of it. Just kept on having to reinforce the idea of 'staying in your own bed' being a big boy like other kids/siblings etc. Reminding them about it all day.
Also give em some stickers for their bed, or some way of personalising their room a bit more.
But ya I remember the punches and kicks in the face and waking up wrecked while snookems is having a big snooze.

celligraphy · 05-09-2016 8:12pm

The to is overdone in stickers , pictures everything , I think she's just really clingy I put her to bed at 8.30 last night so she slept until 4 and then came up stairs , I'm just sleeping at the end of the bed so she doesn't hit or kick me in her sleep , I might just have to try wean her slowly into getting used to bed again

HelgaWard · 06-09-2016 9:19am

When she falls asleep in your bed, can you not just transfer back to her own bed?

celligraphy · 06-09-2016 2:08pm

Have done it few times she wakes up straight away and starts screaming for us

livinsane · 06-09-2016 2:52pm

celligraphy wrote: »

The to is overdone in stickers , pictures everything , I think she's just really clingy I put her to bed at 8.30 last night so she slept until 4 and then came up stairs , I'm just sleeping at the end of the bed so she doesn't hit or kick me in her sleep , I might just have to try wean her slowly into getting used to bed again

I'd be very happy with sleeping from 8.30pm-4am (and then going back to sleep of course). It's a stretch of almost 8 hours which is very good. What kind of bed does she sleep in? Could you move her into something bigger so it's comfortable for you too. It won't last forever, may as well be as comfy as possible while it does. What age is she?

bp · 06-09-2016 5:20pm

Would you carry her back in and lie in her bed until she settles?

LegacyUser · 07-09-2016 5:29pm

celligraphy wrote: »

Hi guys ever since I 've started working again my toddler hasn't slept through the night not once , usually wakes up about 3 or 4am and climbs into our bed and falls back to sleep but she hits in her sleep and moves so much . I can't seem to sleep over her doing this and its causing me to be late twice for work already , which I really don't want as I love this job , any tips? She's goes to bed at 9.30

9:30 is very late for a toddler. If you are working, you may be making the mistake of keeping her up far too late because you haven't seen her all day.

Our 5 year old is asleep by 8, 3 year old by 7:30 latest.

mdwexford · 08-09-2016 12:47am

Steve The Veg wrote: »

9:30 is very late for a toddler. If you are working, you may be making the mistake of keeping her up far too late because you haven't seen her all day.

Our 5 year old is asleep by 8, 3 year old by 7:30 latest.

That's ridiculously early in my opinion.

celligraphy · 08-09-2016 8:00am

I have been lying in her bed until she sleeps the last two nights now and she's slept through the night I sneak out after an hour and I leave my robe behind , so fingers crossed , I let her stay up until then because she gets excited to see me after work

bp · 08-09-2016 10:50am

It is hard when they get excited to see you but try bringing bed time back a little each night. It is understandable you want to spend time together but children need a lot of sleep and sleep begets sleep. Maybe go to her room earlier and read in bed together - 20 minutes of complete undivided attention may help.

Hopefully she keeps sleeping for you

evolving_doors · 08-09-2016 6:00pm

mdwexford wrote: »

That's ridiculously early in my opinion.

Nope! Ours are same 7:30 and 8..
Although I can appreciate if parent time with a child is limited with work hours...As long as they are not groggy or grumpy in the mornings
During the summertime anything goes

mdwexford · 08-09-2016 6:12pm

Gebgbegb wrote: »

Nope! Ours are same 7:30 and 8..
Although I can appreciate if parent time with a child is limited with work hours...As long as they are not groggy or grumpy in the mornings
During the summertime anything goes

In my opinion whatever works for each family is the way to go. People preaching hard and fast times and rules for bedtime is silly.

My two year old goes to bed about 8.30 usually and sleeps until 9am ish. He's not over tired or grumpy and it suits us all so happy days.

Dtp1979 · 08-09-2016 6:15pm

mdwexford wrote: »

In my opinion whatever works for each family is the way to go. People preaching hard and fast times and rules for bedtime is silly.

My two year old goes to bed about 8.30 usually and sleeps until 9am ish. He's not over tired or grumpy and it suits us all so happy days.

Mine too. And he's usually go for a nap during the day too

mdwexford · 08-09-2016 6:23pm

Dtp1979 wrote: »

Mine too. And he's usually go for a nap during the day too

Ours too, nap about 2 till 3.30 usually.

LegacyUser · 09-09-2016 4:12pm

mdwexford wrote: »

That's ridiculously early in my opinion.

That's a bedtime of their own design. They are very active and their bedtime has evolved, it is not one I decided and stuck too. It doesn't work like that.

By 7:30 - 8pm they are listless and ready for bed. I can recall two occasions when one was up until 9:30pm, when they had the norovirus.

The OPs problem of 3am or 4am wakings is classic overtired kids. They are simply going to bed too late.

evolving_doors · 09-09-2016 7:40pm

Steve The Veg wrote: »

That's a bedtime of their own design. They are very active and their bedtime has evolved, it is not one I decided and stuck too. It doesn't work like that.

By 7:30 - 8pm they are listless and ready for bed. I can recall two occasions when one was up until 9:30pm, when they had the norovirus.

The OPs problem of 3am or 4am wakings is classic overtired kids. They are simply going to bed too late.

Maybe try a little snack before bed too (half a weetabix kind of thing).

Pawwed Rig · 09-09-2016 7:54pm

I too think 9:30 is too late. Isn't the recomendation 14 hours a day sleep for a toddler?

LegacyUser · 09-09-2016 9:31pm

7:30 for our pair, 26 months and 5 months old. They are tired at that stage.

OP, around 4am is actually the natural time the brain enters a light stage of sleep - you do it yourself, only you've learned to stay in bed/put yourself back to sleep etc. Totally normal for babies/toddlers to wake at that stage, the key is your response. You say toddler - how old is the child? I ask because our first started waking round 4:30 am at about 14 months (never mind what went before that!!) and honestly, it took til about 17/18 months to push her to 6am. Nowadays at just over 2, she's generally 6:30 - 7am, although she can stir and partially wake any time between 4 and 6am.

We implemented a GroClock at about 20 months I think, when I couldn't take the 5am wake ups anymore, but if she's a young toddler, she simply won't understand the GroClock concept. I've read that anything before 6am should be treated as a night waking, so if she woke at 2am, what would you do? Would you bring her into your bed? If you would (and you're not happy with doing that at 4am) then you need to look at your response on this, not hers. A few nights of going in and out to her, but (very important) making sure she stays in her bed, and that she understands that, is the key to change this.Fundamentally, she won't change her habits til you change yours, because this is the only way she knows to get back to sleep at that time.

I'd review bedtime too, but that bit is up to yourself really. I don't think I could handle a toddler until 9:30pm every night......

getting toddler to sleep through the night

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