No meal choice on menu

recipesforme

Hi,

I just wanted to know how people feel about not having a choice of starters/mains/dessert at a wedding?
Our budget won't allow for a choice but there will be a silent veggie option. My mam things we should put the veggie option on the menu "so it doesn't look cheap" but the caterer feels that people who aren't veggie might just opt for that, just for a change, which would mean they wouldn't have enough veegie meals to go round.

This wedding is costing us a fortune and we don't want it to look cheap either but we're trying to save where we can.

Has anyone slese been faced with this dilemma? Any thoughts?

Thanks!

pwurple

What's the menu? Is this like an 8 course tasting menu deal, where choice is not expected... Or are we talking soup followed by chicken?

recipesforme

Haha! We are literally talking soup followed by chicken!

Well actually it's more salmon gravalax, followed by stuffed chicken wrapped in parma ham. But still fairly safe, standard wedding fare

Stheno

recipesforme wrote: »

Haha! We are literally talking soup followed by chicken!

Well actually it's more salmon gravalax, followed by stuffed chicken wrapped in parma ham. But still fairly safe, standard wedding fare

And there is no choice other than that?

NinjaTruncs

People will remember two things from your wedding the food and the music.

Is the meal costing you a fortune, and hence you can't afford the option, or is it other things that are using the budget and you are trying to save on the meal.

afatbollix

Ask for dietary requirements on the invite. Only true veggys will reply with there requirements.

Don't forget Vegan / Coeliacs or dairy, Our hotel catered for all. Mainly by taking out what they would of had issue with but offering the same main dish. Same we just asked for dietary requirements.

pwurple

Ok, in that case, I'd up the budget and get a choice in there. You know your guests best, but I know some people who won't touch a raw fish starter (i would love it though!). Anyone pregnant, or people who don't eat fish or are veggie. Can you put a simple vegetable soup on the starter and add the veggie option to the mains? Discuss with venue on pricing and try to negotiate on it.

Can you cut back somewhere else?

uck51js9zml2yt

How many people are attempting? Where in the country is it being held.
Giving people no choice is a dubious idea.
Where is all the money being spent?

athtrasna

NinjaTruncs wrote: »

People will remember two things from your wedding the food and the music.

This! I've been at lots of weddings, generally had a great time but the things I'll always remember is bad food and an empty dance floor.

No choice for a main is poor form and if you're not offering a choice of starter I'd definitely go for a soup or maybe a chicken option, cured fish is not for everyone. People don't expect a choice of dessert.

harr

Definitely change starter to a veg soup as suggested by others...me personally I would offer a choice on the main even if that ment cutting costs elsewhere...I think the meal is definitely one part of the wedding people will remember..
While most people would probably pick chicken it would better to have a fish choice...

Bacchus

athtrasna wrote: »

This! I've been at lots of weddings, generally had a great time but the things I'll always remember is bad food and an empty dance floor.

No choice for a main is poor form and if you're not offering a choice of starter I'd definitely go for a soup or maybe a chicken option, cured fish is not for everyone. People don't expect a choice of dessert.

I agree with this. Whatever about not having choice for starter or desert, you should offer a choice for main. Otherwise you run a high risk that several people won't enjoy the meal, our worse go a bit hungry. At least if they can choose their main, it doesn't matter if they don't want to eat the starter, they'll still fill their belly with a main course.

Hrududu

If the vegetarian option is hidden and not on the menu then how will the vegetarians know that they can order it?

SusanC10

I agree with most of the replies.

If you are not having a choice for Starter then don't have raw/cured Fish. Do have a choice for Mains and also the silent Veggie Option. No need for a choice for Dessert.

People will remember the Food and the Music as has been already said above.

I would cut back on other things to have a decent Wedding Meal tbh.

recipesforme

Thanks for all the replies.
The reason the budget is so tight is because we are contributing to the flights of some family members who are living abroad so there's no real cutting back on that.
We've cut as many corners as possible on our side (cheap rings dress etc.) while trying not to on the guest side but I guess I didn't think people would feel so strongly about it.

I'll ask the caterer if we can get a soup for the starter - you're right - fish probably isn't the biggest crowd pleaser.
And I'll see if the caterer will include the silent veggie option as a full option on the menu. I don't think we can stretch to two meat options

Dial Hard

Hrududu wrote:

If the vegetarian option is hidden and not on the menu then how will the vegetarians know that they can order it?

Because it's a long-established convention of functions that there's a vegetarian option available whether it's listed or not.

kandr10

We had no option for our wedding dinner. We had a soup, starter, main and dessert. I don't remember what the starter was but the main was beef so we figured it was a crowd pleaser. The soup was broccoli and cheese because we like that. Figured not a big deal if people opt out of that since there was a starter. The one thing people always comment on when talking about our wedding was how good the food was. I wouldn't have thought it was a big deal, but then I'm a vegetarian and never have options at these things (and have never minded).

recipesforme

The menu itself is quite pricey because it's really good. It's excellent quality produce and kind of standard with a twist (if that makes any sense).

We thought it might be better to go with great food with less choice but given the reactions maybe keeping it traditional is the best option.

Stheno

recipesforme wrote: »

We thought it might be better to go with great food with less choice but given the reactions maybe keeping it traditional is the best option.

Just one choice is very limited.

I know neither myself or my Oh would eat either the starter or main you've listed and we'd just go without

recipesforme

Even if there was a vegetarian option available to you?

uck51js9zml2yt

We had a choice of 5 starters, 5 mains and 5 deserts.
We booked the hotel restaurant and had the esrly bird menu for 66 people. Mains included steak and a vegi option.
It worked out at 20 a head plus whatever drinks people wanted.

Markcheese

I wouldnt worry about the choice on the main. The simpler the menu the easier it is to cook and serve.. and the better the food should be...
I would wonder about gravalax as the only starter.. its not an everyone dish... in saying that if you and yours like it.. go for it ..

Clampdown

I worked as a wedding server for 3 years and never once was there a menu with no option for the main. It will look strange and tbh people will definitely comment on it. The pricing plans should allow for a choice regardless, as the hotel pay very little for the food which is marked up hugely, most meals other than steak cost less than a few euro.

If you have 200 guests they will get in something like 220 servings of chicken, if you have a choice of chicken or salmon they will get in something like 115 of each. It makes no difference to the hotel's cost so it shouldn't be more expensive.

Also, while we always had a veggie option, it was never listed on the menu. The servers would inform the guests when they went to the table to take the main order. But as you have no choice for the main that's going to be confusing. Anyway, if you put it on the menu you can bet your bottom people who aren't veggie will order it. In our hotel this would create a problem as those meals were made to order while the usual options were made in batches big enough to cover the numbers. If you went into the chef's and said there were 20 veggie meals to make up while they were trying to do the sauce etc on the mains they'd have a conniption!

Do not put the veggie option on the menu. Talk to the venue and insist you are able to include an option for the main. They shouldn't be charging you more for an option, and with all the money they make on drink they should be willing to do this so you can have your big day without having people complain about having no option.

recipesforme

Unfortunately we aren't getting married in a hotel. We're in a venue without catering and are hiring caterers in.
We spoke about choices but in order to come in close to our budget we had to limit it.
I really didn't think it would be this much of a wedding "faux-pas".

recipesforme

recipesforme wrote: »

Unfortunately we aren't getting married in a hotel. We're in a venue without catering and are hiring caterers in.
We spoke about choices but in order to come in close to our budget we had to limit it.
I really didn't think it would be this much of a wedding "faux-pas".

I would still have a second choice. Chicken, no matter how it's done, is cheap and cheerful. At least have a fish option. Any good experienced caterer would know how much of each would be needed without there being too much waste.

Clampdown

Well it's not the end of the world and I'd say very few people who eat meat would turn their nose up at chicken wrapped in Parma. Tbh most people are in fine form at weddings and any comments about the lack of choice will be light hearted enough like 'Well if you don't like chicken you're fooked'. etc

I still would not put the veggie option on the menu as you could end up with a rake of them and the caterer might not have enough. Just have the servers ask each table if anyone requires a veggie meal. You'll probably end up with some chancers asking what the veg option is and ordering it even if they are not vegetarian but not as many as you would if it's listed on the menu.

If the chicken meal is nice and tasty it's not going to be a major issue and if it can't be changed there's no point worrying about it.

Stheno

recipesforme wrote: »

Unfortunately we aren't getting married in a hotel. We're in a venue without catering and are hiring caterers in.
We spoke about choices but in order to come in close to our budget we had to limit it.
I really didn't think it would be this much of a wedding "faux-pas".

Going from the gravadllax to soup should give you some wiggle room in the cost of the catering

If you've the same veg and potatoes for two main courses then it's just the meat/fish
I wonder is this working talking to them about?

jon1981

OP, when I married last year the main thing on my mind was my guests and making sure they least I could do was to make sure they had a meal to remember for good reasons given the expense that goes with being a guest at a wedding.

Just keep that in mind, ppl will comment if it appears the meal was an afterthought.

So if chicken is the only option it better be the best damn chicken ever. But at the end of the day chicken is chicken, never seen it on menu, even as an option.

recipesforme

I'm not sure how I'm coming across but the guests have always been top priority for us. Venue choice, day of the week, access to venue, accommodation, everything. But in taking care of all those details something else has had to give, and that was the 2nd meal choice.
A lot of thought has gone into the menu and for what it's worth, it might just be the best damn chicken ever.

jon1981

recipesforme wrote: »

I'm not sure how I'm coming across but the guests have always been top priority for us. Venue choice, day of the week, access to venue, accommodation, everything. But in taking care of all those details something else has had to give, and that was the 2nd meal choice.
A lot of thought has gone into the menu and for what it's worth, it might just be the best damn chicken ever.

I'm sure you have, but it's not to be underestimated how fickle people can be when it comes to wedding food. The fact you chose a Sat over a Thursday , or the venue has a wheelchair ramp or is within 30 mins of all guests will kinda be lost on most folk. Food, Music and Craic is what will be remembered.

munster87

Unfortunately food is always one of the most memorable things at a wedding for the majority of people, so it is not an area that you want to be cutting corners.

Stheno

recipesforme wrote: »

I'm not sure how I'm coming across but the guests have always been top priority for us. Venue choice, day of the week, access to venue, accommodation, everything. But in taking care of all those details something else has had to give, and that was the 2nd meal choice.
A lot of thought has gone into the menu and for what it's worth, it might just be the best damn chicken ever.

How many are going to the wedding?

Frogscotch

We asked people in advance whether they wanted fish or veggie so the caterer had the right numbers. Could you do that?

recipesforme

Unfortunately we can't do that because the invites have already gone out.
There's just under 100 coming.
I'm going to arrange a meeting with the caterer for next week to see what can be done if anything

Stheno

recipesforme wrote: »

Unfortunately we can't do that because the invites have already gone out.
There's just under 100 coming.
I'm going to arrange a meeting with the caterer for next week to see what can be done if anything

Good luck with it

I remember three things from the last wedding I was at. 1. There was no music , two one of the waters spilled a bottle of red wine all over the top table and 3. The beef that was served as a main course choice was so horrid that everyone who had it was envious of those who chose something else.

It really is true that it's the food and music that make a weddinf

Birdsong

What is the age profile of the guests is another factor. I know that my parents would not eat that starter for sure, and chicken wrapped in parma ham would be picked at I'd say. And my parents aren't picky!

If you are tight on budget go for a vegetable soup which is easy cheaper to make, liked by almost all. You will then be able to afford a second choice.

sullivk

The menu we chose had a choice of Seabass or Beef or Vegetarian meal (can't remember what it was). They gave us these choices at no extra charge, provided we ask guests prior to the wedding so we could give them rough numbers.

We just sent out a little menu choice card with the invites and then they could jot down any special dietary requirements also as we had some diabetics and coeliacs attending too.

pc7

How much extra are you talking? €5 a head? €10? Talk to the caterer, soup should bring it down a bit too to help.

dubrov

I think if you ask on a wedding forum you'll generally get answers biased towards going all out on a wedding.
Some people tend to agonise over details when the reality is that the people that attend are by far the most important factor in making a good wedding.

Most people won't care at all about a choice. Very few people won't eat chicken.
You could always ask for a silent fish course to be kept in reserve for say 5% of the people attending.

I am surprised the venue won't offer a free starter alternative. Something like soup or melon is pretty cheap to make and offer.

Also, veggies will definitely know to ask for the veggie option.

kandr10

I think the problem is most people are basing their opinions on attending/ hosting a wedding in a hotel. When you go outside hotel packages it's not the same thing.
I appreciate that gravalax may not be a crowd pleaser but vegetable soup is so boring! I can't believe people are suggesting it as an alternative.
If you can't offer a choice, try to pick whatever is the tastiest option with the widest appeal. As a previous poster said, if the food is delicious, people will comment on that rather than the lack of choice.
I think you've clearly shown a lot of consideration towards your guests. If they're mean enough to pass remark on the lack of choice then let them!

jcd5971

Do guests know their is no choice?

I have been to 6 weddings this year and have 3 more to go before Xmas.

For the cost of attending a wedding I'd at least expect better than manky fish starter and chicken while fine for me won't be a hit with everyone.

Personally if I arrived to that standard of meal you'd see a substantialy lighter amount in the congrats card, and i know from asking friends how much they pit in their cards that a crap meal makes a difference with more than just myself.

ash2008

Ah Jesus I think some of these replies are way harsh. As OP stated, the reason they cannot afford the second option is because they are helping pay the travel costs of some family members. That is more important to them, esp considering they've spent cheaply on other things such as rings, dress etc...

As someone who's had their fair share of crap meals at weddings (veggie who never gets a second option), I don't remember thinking badly of the couple, leaving a "lighter amount in the congrats card" (thats beyond a f*cking joke to be honest), or thinking the whole day was a disaster. Yes, people want a good time at weddings, but the main reason is to be there for the couple on their big day.

OP, there's enough to stress about planning a wedding, you will never keep everyone happy. Talk to the caterer about your concerns and see if there's anything you can do, but I think your family and friends will understand and hopefully appreciate the sacrifice you've made to have your family with you on your special day.

Markcheese

recipesforme wrote:

Unfortunately we aren't getting married in a hotel. We're in a venue without catering and are hiring caterers in. We spoke about choices but in order to come in close to our budget we had to limit it. I really didn't think it would be this much of a wedding "faux-pas".

It isnt a major "faux pas"
We had pork as the main ,no choice,
No complaints ,in fact we had loads of compliments.... (we did outside catering too)
Its your day.. do what you like... obviously any special dietary requirments are usualy informed in advance so you can tell the caterer..
Dont worry about it, just enjoy.. and usually the simpler the better...

Toots

To be honest, if you're not having a choice of main then chicken is a good safe option to go for. Most people will eat it (they might pick off the parma ham but that's not the end of the world) I would rethink the starters though, because that definitely wouldn't be to everyone's taste.

I've been to a few weddings where there wasn't a choice of mains and it didn't bother me. In all cases they had chicken as the main and it was nicely cooked, people didn't rave about it but at the same time I didn't hear anyone complaining about it, most people said it was nice.

BabysCoffee

I don't think this is a big issue OP. Have a great day!

Lainey15

It's not a big deal at all. People won't comment on it. We are having one choice for our wedding meal - and just choosing options most people will eat. I've been at weddings with a choice and weddings without and that one factor did not determine whether we enjoyed the day or not. Try not to stress about your decision and don't take into account so many opinions. Do what you can afford and what works for your wedding.

HeidiHeidi

BabysCoffee wrote: »

I don't think this is a big issue OP. Have angriest day!

:eek:

intheclouds

I only remember the food when it is fantastically bad or fantastically good. Or when theres not enough of it.

I personally wouldnt be able to eat the salmon because ive some kind of intolerance to salmon and it upsets my stomach. So straight off the bat Id be worried about being hungry because I couldnt eat the starter.

Id definitely eat the chicken dish - chicken is safe.

I wouldnt be put off by no choice but I wouldnt like that starter at all.

mcgiggles

ash2008 wrote: »

Ah Jesus I think some of these replies are way harsh. As OP stated, the reason they cannot afford the second option is because they are helping pay the travel costs of some family members. That is more important to them, esp considering they've spent cheaply on other things such as rings, dress etc...

As someone who's had their fair share of crap meals at weddings (veggie who never gets a second option), I don't remember thinking badly of the couple, leaving a "lighter amount in the congrats card" (thats beyond a f*cking joke to be honest), or thinking the whole day was a disaster. Yes, people want a good time at weddings, but the main reason is to be there for the couple on their big day.

OP, there's enough to stress about planning a wedding, you will never keep everyone happy. Talk to the caterer about your concerns and see if there's anything you can do, but I think your family and friends will understand and hopefully appreciate the sacrifice you've made to have your family with you on your special day.

I was just thinking the same, people are being so harsh. I wouldn't give two flying f*cks if there was no choice at a wedding meal! Don't stress yourself out OP! Whether you have no choice or 5 of everything (have never seen that EVER and have been to a LOT of weddings the last 3 years) people will always find something to complain about!
And I agree "leaving a "lighter amount in the congrats card" " that's just plain rude.

racso1975

Op its your day!!! If people are there to judge your day on food and or music fuk'em you dont need friends like that. The same goes for people who alter their gift based on the food. FFS!!!

Dont fret. Go with your soup and chicken/parma selection. You have already made loads of sacrifices for the guests dont go putting extra financial or emotional stress on yourself over this!!!

Have a beautiful day and more importantly a beautiful marriage.

witchgirl26

OP I agree that the chicken main is a good one if there is no choice but I would have a word with the caterer about how they might handle any dietary requirements. I'm lactose intolerant and there have been a couple of weddings where I've gone hungry because every option or course had either milk, cream or butter involved. And just let your veggie guests know about the silent option for them.

I agree that the starter might not be everyone's taste but I don't think you need to go to a fairly boring veg soup - maybe just something a little less hit and miss. Although that said, you know your guests and maybe they'd love that. I know my family would!

Hope you have a great day.

GingerLily

jcd5971 wrote: »

Do guests know their is no choice?

I have been to 6 weddings this year and have 3 more to go before Xmas.

For the cost of attending a wedding I'd at least expect better than manky fish starter and chicken while fine for me won't be a hit with everyone.

Personally if I arrived to that standard of meal you'd see a substantialy lighter amount in the congrats card, and i know from asking friends how much they pit in their cards that a crap meal makes a difference with more than just myself.

You would take money out of the wedding gift because the couple getting married couldn't afford the luxury of an option?

If the couples family pay for the wedding and that allows them to provide a fillet steak and lobster options do you slip more money into the envelope?