will I just go?

CeNedra

Looking for a bit of interesting perspective.

I have a really well paying job. Had a great career to date. Regular promotions etc. I lead a team based internationally and spend 1 week a month travelling with work, mainly to USA.
But, I am just so stressed. Hardly see my family. Growing up without me. Find it hard to find happiness in my life at this stage. I can afford to walk away for a while.

Am sitting here at an airport and all I want to do is never ever see this place again.

After a life of constant pursuit of a career, I am about to walk away.
Time to stop and smell the roses or head down and keep going in my awful and unhappy existence?

Gmaximum

Do it

If you can afford not to work there's no problem taking tomek out especially if your stressed.

When you decide to return to work put the gap on your cv and explain it as career break. It makes you human to say in an interview that you took time out to spend with family. Any interviews holding it against you probably aren't worth working for.

Use the time off to consider what you want to do. A lot of the US multinationals do expect long hours and potentially travel but the financial rewards are there. Look at the market closer to home and aim to get the work life balance right.

seamusk84

Don't leave the job if you don't have something else to step into. Keep at it but start putting feelers out there for new jobs.

Being unemployed and rudderless would be worse than now.

JeffKenna

Can you take some holidays to reflect on it? An airport on a friday night after a tough week is not the right time to be making decisions like this. Act in hast repent at leisure.

2RockMountain

Only you know your own sector, but I'd be very cautious about dropping off without having something else lined up. If you are very confident of your ability to find something else, keeping in mind that you might find it tough to get a reference from folks who don't understand why you're dropping out, then go for it. But could you survive without work for a year, or maybe two years?

I switched from private sector to public sector in the boom times for some similar reasons for yourself. I used to say that I ended up doing about 2/3rds of the hours for about 2/3rds of the money. However, the public sector cuts have really hurt quite badly. Every time I'm at home watching the 6 O'Clock news, I'm sure I made the right decision. Then when the Visa bill comes in, I'm kicking myself for making a crazy decision.

garhjw

OP, I was in a similar position to you 4 years ago. Would it be possible to take a leave of absence for 6 months?

I did and it really helped sort my head out. It gave me time to look at what I wanted to do. 18 months later I changed job and am very happy

Good luck

CeNedra

Thanks for the input.
I can't get time off now. This company has just been great to work for but my God do you work!!!! 6 o'clock news..... Never happening!

The replies echo what is in my head, pros V cons etc. I've been tied up with trying to figure it all out for more than 6 months.

My partner is hugely supportive and also has a good job. Financially would be OK. Work is not about money for me, it's about meeting my potential and achieving something. Recognition as well. Not feeling it anymore.

I wish I had done something else, more meaningful. Hard to describe the benefit of what I do besides in $$$$ terms.

Mid life crisis..... Let's be having you!!!

Andrea B.

Hi.
I know the feeling.The fact that you wrote the post is (and it may not seem it) a massive catalyst? Did you feel a little relief in posting?
If at all possible do not leave.....yet.
Start listing careers that you would like.
Start asking yourself what you would like to do and if it is achievable.
Start removing your present job reminders from your personal time (separate laptop / phone / etc). No one is going to die?
It's like a detox and this can reduce the overwhelming cloud that an unhappy job situation can create.
Keep looking at your list and adding to and crossing off.
I am in a similar situation for some time and will find my new niche. The above type exercise is working for me.
From my perspective, I found many self-help books overwhelming and possibly counter productive........three chapters to make one statement.
Best of luck...

Edit. Read your post again. Maybe do not get hung on reaching your potential. Most of us never do.
Consider other targets such as happiness, making a difference, ?

Mrs OBumble

seamusk84 wrote: »

Don't leave the job if you don't have something else to step into. Keep at it but start putting feelers out there for new jobs.

Being unemployed and rudderless would be worse than now.

That's true for some people, not for others. Personally I'd absolutely love it, because I have a whole heap of personal projects that I'd love to have the time to work on.

If you can afford to not work for 6-12 months, then I'd say do it. Give yourself some time to think, and see if you can carvie out a niche for yourself, making enough income and having enough personal life.

Also, your family will only grow up once. If you miss it, you'll miss it forever.

Teyla Emmagan

Yeah. Definitely time for a break. Take a few months off. You will be sick next and it is a lot harder to come back from mental exhaustion then it is to avoid it. If you can afford it go for it.

Avatar MIA

I was in a similar situation a couple of years back, not seeing my family, but held on for another job that didn't require travel. I also remember the lonely feeling at airports.

While stressed out now, going from 60 to 0 can be a bit harsh. It would be difficult to go from a high pressure job, to not having any responsibilities.

Take a holiday, and concentrate on different career options. Even if that means going back to education (night time or full time).

While financially secure (btw, Is your partner's job 100% safe?) it would be short term thinking just to... Stop.

Good luck.

Teyla Emmagan

Just copped your username. Brilliant

livedadream

speak to your family, partner and talk to them, it could just be a bad day and you dont want to make a poorly judged decision.

if its more than that, walk. no job is worth missing stuff like that working in a shop is easier, and youd get to spend more time at home.

Kettleson

Talk to your employers. If they value you as an employee and respect you as a human they could possibly accommodate a change in working conditions/arrangements to suit your personal and family needs.

I think you do naturally get to a point in working life when it is good to reevaluate what you want out of life and work. Which is good. If the job no longer suits you, talk to your employers and keep a look out for other jobs. It's a challenge but it could work out brilliantly for you and your family.

lawred2

CeNedra wrote: »

Looking for a bit of interesting perspective.

I have a really well paying job. Had a great career to date. Regular promotions etc. I lead a team based internationally and spend 1 week a month travelling with work, mainly to USA.
But, I am just so stressed. Hardly see my family. Growing up without me. Find it hard to find happiness in my life at this stage. I can afford to walk away for a while.

Am sitting here at an airport and all I want to do is never ever see this place again.

After a life of constant pursuit of a career, I am about to walk away.
Time to stop and smell the roses or head down and keep going in my awful and unhappy existence?

Walk away. And take a breath.

Or talk to your employers and ask for a career break. That way you can keep security of employment. You can still decide not to go back.

Musketeer4

OP, given what you wrote in your post, I would say you already know in your gut what it is you want to do.


I'll give you my outlook. I love my job as an engineer, its very interesting and rewarding. I make an OK salary and I have a rule that I pack it in at 5.30 and never work saturdays barring there's some genuinely urgent thing happening. Sure I could go work for some american multinational and make much more money - but by god will you work for it. I've no interest in $$$ if it means being stressed stupid, not enough sleep, bad diet, no time for family or interests. Fúck. That. Shyyyte!

And look, no one ever lay on their death bed saying "oh I wish i worked myself to the bone more and was was more stressed all the time".