Irish women's reactions to non-drinking men?

linpoo

I think people just like people that are the same as them .

In saying that though I always said I'd prefer to be with a fella who didn't drink due to having a father who is fond of the drink!!

Mister Vain

I found this to be a big problem when I was young. A lot of people thought I was a dry shyte, weird, boring etc. I'm in my 30's now and nobody really seems to give a damn. I have the occasional drink but I hated the binge drinking culture as a youngster so I stopped and my social live suffered as a result. I eventually found some other hobbies and interests that allowed me to meet other people.

alchemist33

Tar.Aldarion wrote: »

That was such a crash and burn, that last line man. Should have went along and talked to them there, it'll come up anyway without saying it like that. It comes across as putting them down even. Could have just said something like you don't drink but don't worry you know how to have a good time wink wink or whatever. Just say that you will see them there haha.

Also she was being pretty good with the food/drinks suggestion...going to a film without getting to know them a bit first is just awkward and a terrible date.

Agree with this. There was no need to draw attention to the non-drink issue. You can just drink minerals along with drinkers without having to mention it beforehand. It doesn't require a coming out of the closet moment.

I'm a lifelong non-drinker and don't think that ever put a woman off, not one I'd have had an interest in anyway.

sozbox

Madra98 wrote: »

Me:

Are the drinks an important part for making the movie good, hahah? I'll stick to the 7ups and hope the movie is still good. I actually don't drink at all. But fire away yourself.

Conversation.................. Over!

As countless others have pointed out this is where you lost her.

The first and last sentences were unnecessary and come across a tad condescending.

My glory days of downing 30 pints a week are well gone and I actually say upfront that I'm not a big drinker, either in person or on my dating profiles.

Your non-drinking wasn't the issue it's how you made her feel about her drinking.

Pawwed Rig

I think it is more that people go out and talk shyte while they are drinking in the knowledge that everyone else is talking shyte so no harm done. When the sober person is in the middle of this who will remember all the shyte talk and who said what about whom then peoples insecurities kick in.

Teyla Emmagan

I would also think you might be taken as a recovering alcoholic

It's actually a time of life thing I think. In your 20s a non drinker might be a bit unusual. By your 30s and 40s no one notices though. They're all either doing triathlons or breastfeeding. The ones interested in drinking for the sake of it have really cleared out.

People who do mind though either mind because they feel you're judging them or they just don't want to drink on their own. I had a friend nagging me to have a drink last week. I told her I wasn't in the mood but that I was quite happy to watch her get ****f&ced if she wanted to

Day Lewin

Why mention it at all? If it is such a turn-off?

Why not just wait until you are both sitting happily in some nice premises, let her order what she likes, get yourself a 7-up or whatever, and pass no comment, just keep smiling and showing interest.
If she asks, just say, Oh, I rarely drink alcohol. I like pubs, though.
That should be enough to settle her.

BONUS: Also, you can have far-away dates because you will be safe to drive home. If you need extra ammunition, mention this.
(I appreciate this is annoying if you don't have a car. But you could say, "I'm buying a car soon, getting into the habit for safe driving")


To be honest, if she is a person who can't imagine socialising without alcohol, she is not the girl for you. Her bad luck!

stateofflux

I think there are various reasons this happens all stemming from drink being a huge part of Irish culture .

a few...

fear of Being Judged for drinking
fear of being analysed by sober person when drunk = cant relax
fear of intimacy without mutual drinking
non drinker could be an ex alcoholic = guilt trip
drinkers social life revolves around drinking = outside comfort zone

the more i think about it, a lot of this stems from insecurity

but i think the fact that you said it to her in the first place made it an issue. if you clicked after meeting it would not have mattered that much imo.

utyh2ikcq9z76b

Its probably an Irish thing as well,but as said your viewed as a problem drinker,ex alcoholic or overall nutcase on the beer...hence your off it on one of your many dry spells,mainly monday-thursday ha

bee06

Pygmy Shrew wrote: »

Just my tuppence worth.... I would assume that there is a high probability that non drinkers are either recovering alcoholics or have an illness that means that they can't drink due to their medication. Lots of them can be quite anti drink and critical of how others behave when they've had a few drinks. They can also be quite disdainful of drinkers wasting their money in such a frivolous fashion. Those are all the reasons why I would not enter into a relationship with a non drinker.

I don't understand why you assume that the only reason people don't drink is because they are forced not to. I choose not to drink because I got tired of wasting the day after hungover, paying a fortune for a taxi home, struggling to stay awake at the end of the night because drinking makes me sleepy and because if I intermittently decided I didn't want to drink on a night out everyone assumed I was pregnant.

I still go to pubs, go clubbing the odd time (it was infrequent when I was drinking anyway now that I'm in my 30's). And I'm equally distainful of people's stupid behaviour as I was when I was drinking because I have no patience for idiots whether I'm drunk or sober.

CastorTroy

Since she said the movie was late, it doesn't give many options of where to go. At least around here, from 9 on the options are pub, take away or Tesco.
Also pub is a better option anyway since dinner can take longer than expected and sometimes people feel uncomfortable being watched while eating on a first date. And if you're enjoying each other's company it's easier to just sit on in the pub instead of going to the cinema.
Personally, I've never drank, just out of choice.

As for the view of non drinkers being boring, I've met plenty of boring drinkers who are hard to escape from. At least sober people can take hints better. Sometimes.

But as was said, a lot of it is due to the drinking ciulture of Ireland, which can annoy me at times. "It's Easter, lets go drinking" "It's Christmas, let's go drinking" As someone who isn't interested in watching sports either it doesn't help.

Stealthfins

The funny thing is these effing brats who don't find non drinkers attractive are twats.

It's all the cool people in Hollywood and the Music Industry and fashion industry who don't drink.

Check mate

wakka12

Non drinking people are associated with being boring and no fun. Plain and simple. I don't think that, but Ive heard many people say that. Im sure you know that OP, what other reason could there be for it. I cant think of any others

KingBrian2

Well i'm going to get plastered tonight drinking Lucozade that is at home.:pac:

A_Sober_Paddy

Pygmy Shrew wrote: »

Just my tuppence worth.... I would assume that there is a high probability that non drinkers are either recovering alcoholics or have an illness that means that they can't drink due to their medication. Lots of them can be quite anti drink and critical of how others behave when they've had a few drinks. They can also be quite disdainful of drinkers wasting their money in such a frivolous fashion. Those are all the reasons why I would not enter into a relationship with a non drinker.

Think that is absolutely non sense...one of my mates has never drank. But still will go out occasionally to pubs and have a 7up.

When I got home from OZ I didn't drink for about 18 months and don't drink much these days, but still will have a few drinks every now and again

Charizard

KingBrian2 wrote: »

Well i'm going to get plastered tonight drinking Lucozade that is at home.:pac:

I had a hot chocolate with a spoon of sugar, yes I just topped you wild night :cool:

Utah

Teyla Emmagan wrote: »

They're all either doing triathlons or breastfeeding.

Brilliant

H3llR4iser

sup_dude wrote: »

It's absolutely not gender related.
There is a misconception (stemming from the fact that some definitely are) that non drinkers are judging drinkers. ...

Absolutely this. I've gotten if from men and women alike - the moment they realize you do not assume alcohol, most become a bit defensive in the assumption that you think less of them.

It's amazing what people can assume based on the smallest bit of information; I had people learn that I don't drink alcohol nor smoke, and they somehow extended it to everything else - assuming I would be a "health nut"; A thing that should be obviously not true by just taking a passing look at my not-so-trim form

Madra98 wrote: »

...
'I don't drink -- therefore I will not buy you drink' in their heads.

Also this - most people are utterly surprised when I pay for rounds in the pub, or show up for a barbecue / dinner bringing beer or wine. Because I don't drink, they assume I wouldn't be "encouraging" others to do so...wrong, the fact I don't enjoy something doesn't mean you can't.

Pygmy Shrew wrote: »

Just my tuppence worth.... I would assume that there is a high probability that non drinkers are either recovering alcoholics or have an illness that means that they can't drink due to their medication. Lots of them can be quite anti drink and critical of how others behave when they've had a few drinks. They can also be quite disdainful of drinkers wasting their money in such a frivolous fashion. Those are all the reasons why I would not enter into a relationship with a non drinker.

I do get a bit of the "you must have been an alcoholic!" grief, or at least I did when I lived in Cork. Most people also won't believe I have never been drunk nor come anywhere close to it in my life. It's a very wrong assumption and possibly the worst to make - you're essentially calling the person a liar.

wakka12 wrote: »

Non drinking people are associated with being boring and no fun. Plain and simple. I don't think that, but Ive heard many people say that. Im sure you know that OP, what other reason could there be for it. I cant think of any others

Also seen a bit of this, but not a lot. I find that most people, maybe women especially, take a a positive attitude after the initial surprise when they realize the full picture - that I just don't drink because I don't like it, but won't be standing in your way, not in the least.

In fact, all of my friends drink and (purely by chance) I've never dated a non-drinker; In fact, some of the funniest and most memorable nights out and dates I've been in involved the other person getting tipsy or drunk, it's never been any more than harmless week end fun.

Obviously, if said person could be found slumped on the couch surrounded by empty cans of Dutch Gold any day of the week, that'd be a different story - but that's not what we're talking about, there's a difference between enjoying a drink or three, and having a problem.

Peist2007

finooola wrote: »

No, it's not this. It's simply that if drinking is a big part of your social life, you find it hard to imagine having a partner who wouldn't also be into that.

This. Most Irish women have one activity that they do with any regularity and that is drinking.

professore

I'd be reluctant to date a non drinker myself as a man. So I don't think it's anything to do with gender.

Elliott S

Ya know, OP, when I was 18-21ish it probably would have struck me as odd if a guy I was going out with didn't drink. I'm not even sure why... maybe because I was deep in the college lifestyle at that stage. Immaturity on my part too. Now? I could not care less. In fact, I'd have more respect for a guy not drinking that one who doesn't enjoy drinking but keeps it up due to social mores and societal pressure.

pgj2015

I'll stick to the 7ups



This makes you sound about ten op, I don't know is it because its 7up or what but if I got that message I would think you were dry or a young boy drinking 7up. Also the line about needing drink to enjoy the film was not needed as others have already pointed out.

worded

This republic of telly video has all the drinking answers

https://youtu.be/Hy2AYdBtzBo

LegacyUser

I have to say as a female just about to turn thirty, I have only ever been in relationships with guys who drink. I am sick of it I would actually prefer a guy who doesn't. I've grown to dislike drinking a lot over the years so now I really tend to stay away from guys (or girls) who get absolutely rat arsed. It's unattractive.

KingBrian2

pgj2015 wrote: »

I'll stick to the 7ups



This makes you sound about ten op, I don't know is it because its 7up or what but if I got that message I would think you were dry or a young boy drinking 7up. Also the line about needing drink to enjoy the film was not needed as others have already pointed out.

Read it and weep. Prime example of prejudice towards non drinkers.:mad:

the_syco

sup_dude wrote: »

I mean most nondrinkers, excepting judgeys and those who it just isnt their thing (but you get that with people who do drink too), are happy going to pubs/clubs etc and drink water or lucozade or whatever.

Mostly those who would tell everyone that they were a non-drinker were dry shytes. The people who don't drink, but didn't go around saying it are fairly sound.

A few of the lads I worked with didn't drink alcohol; all were the well built athletic type, and didn't drink as they were in training, but you wouldn't know (that they were non-alcoholic drinkers) as they'd go out to the clubs with the rest of us.

Madra98 wrote: »

Me:

Are the drinks an important part for making the movie good, hahah? I'll stick to the 7ups and hope the movie is still good. I actually don't drink at all. But fire away yourself.

I read the bolded part as "do you need alcohol to enjoy yourself"? You say you don't judge, but that's a very judgemental line!

The "hahah", instead of making light of it, would probably be seen as akin to "you alcoholic bitch".

Instead, replace the entire paragraph with "sounds good", and when face to face decline the alcohol.

SemenInMyEyes

Simply put we in Ireland are too fond of the gargle. It is the core of our whole society. I think it is slowly changing but it will take time. More and more people are getting into healthy living.

Other half is a non drinker. To be honest I think it is great. It means I drink less. I enjoy the odd beer. But I am a four pint man maximum every 2-3 weeks. Because she doesn't drink it discourages me from doing so and we end up doing other things as a result.

Sundays are much better when you don't spend half of the day in bed.

Now I imagine that if you are big into drinking you would be off put by having a partner who doesn't drink.

Mince Pie

My tuppence worth why I would be hesitant to go out with a non drinker is the fact that I'm seriously into food and wine and gin. I want to have someone (and currently have although he doesn't like gin) to share that experience with. I want to go and visit vineyards in the Rioja region of Spain and numerous others across the world.
I also like to attend beer tastings and currently working my way through sampling the many many delights of gin.
I'm not a lager or vodka and coke drinker. So it's about passion for me. What would the point of a non drinker be for me who would have no interest in visiting and sampling fine wines and paring with foods?

cantdecide

linpoo wrote: »

I think people just like people that are the same as them .

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

I think it is more that people go out and talk shyte while they are drinking in the knowledge that everyone else is talking shyte so no harm done. When the sober person is in the middle of this who will remember all the shyte talk and who said what about whom then peoples insecurities kick in.

wakka12 wrote: »

Non drinking people are associated with being boring and no fun. Plain and simple.

The above are true of my experience. The human race is frighteningly quick to make lazy assumptions that lead to lazy judgments, both good and bad, about each other based on pretty flimsy criteria.

professore wrote: »

I'd be reluctant to date a non drinker myself as a man. So I don't think it's anything to do with gender.

Would you expand on this?




IMO, what's peculiar about men and drink is that there is more pressure.

From other lads and mates, there's the pressure to be fluent in schyte-ese. I think being mad/ sound/ fun/ craic etc is taken as a sign that you're well adjusted. However, IMO, an artificial performance enhancer is a requirement to level the playing field which to me is a little offputting as a proposition. Drink or no drink, I just like to chat and engage with people and learn about them and their story- that makes me the anti-craic among the Irish.

From women, in a romantic sense, there's particular pressure on men to be gregarious. The real you is of little consequence in the early stages of dating, IME. You have to conform to the step by step process that begins with the bants. IMO, again, if you can project yourself as outgoing, as a performance measure, it's taken as a very good sign about you, which I believe is a lazy assumption. It's also easy to fake. If you can't project a superficial level of confident banter as a bloke, you will struggle.

bucketybuck

I think its very natural for a drinker to be wary of dating a non-drinker.

Maybe the non-drinker doesn't mind going to pubs but at the end of the night one person is going to be drunk and the other sober, and its only natural that the drunk person is going to feel at a disadvantage in that scenario. We've all been sober listening to a drunk person talk rubbish, so what if the drinker starts to worry that they are babbling and that their partner is only humoring them? Can they really relax and let their hair down knowing that as they change and become more outgoing that their partner is staying exactly the same and watching it happen? What about the practical things, like wanting to go in for a kiss but knowing you have six pints in and taste like a brewery while your partner is sober as a judge and will definitely notice?

I'm not a big drinker but I've had some great nights out with a girl just sitting in a pub getting drunk together, talking all the ****e of the day and getting looser and freer with each other as the night goes on. That simply wouldn't happen if she didn't drink.

Relationships should be about equality, you want to share things with your partner and for all the cheerful claims that non-drinkers are happy to go to pubs the fact is they won't be the same as their partners. They will be sober when their partner is inebriated and that is an unequal situation.

Nothing wrong with not being a drinker but I can totally understand why somebody who likes to hit the town for a night out would prefer their partner to enjoy doing the same. Its no different to a foodie passing on somebody who doesn't like fancy food.

Fridge

OP, I think you mentioned you live in a University town (probs Maynooth). If you're at college, or just in your 20s, most people would be socialising in pubs a lot - so I thought maybe she just worried you wouldn't be able to find middle ground.

But reading the conversation you had, honestly, the phrasing just made it sound like you were going to be awkward like that every time you'd go out. It sounded like you were reluctant to have a chat in a pub on your first date. If you're dragging your heels now, it's probably embarrassing for her to push you into it.

I don't think anyone is suggesting hiding who you are. But bringing it up when it's not really necessary is like when people go on and on about allergies and intolerances (although I know food doesn't inebriate you). I have allergies and I have to stop myself going on about it. At the end of the day, it's a much bigger deal to you than to other people whether you drink. Other people generally don't notice if someone's not drinking unless they are visibly uncomfortable in the situation. I know plenty of non-drinkers who are great craic and they just don't go on about it.

05eaftqbrs9jlh

Madra98 wrote:

One female friend says it translates to: 'I don't drink -- therefore I will not buy you drink' in their heads.

That's ridiculous! Why would it matter. I always go halves on everything with my partner, I'd imagine most couples are like that nowadays.

finooola wrote:

No, it's not this. It's simply that if drinking is a big part of your social life, you find it hard to imagine having a partner who wouldn't also be into that. I know that all throughout my teens and 20s me, my sister and all my female friends said we'd never go out with a non-drinker. It's not that we think there's anything wrong with non-drinkers or that we fear judgment from them. Some of us have possibly loosened up on that rule now that we're a bit older too.

I relate to this. You'd be doing different things socially if heading out for a drink is how you unwind with your friends. It's no fun being the one sober person trying to get your head around drunken sh!te.

Mince Pie wrote:

My tuppence worth why I would be hesitant to go out with a non drinker is the fact that I'm seriously into food and wine and gin. I want to have someone (and currently have although he doesn't like gin) to share that experience with. I want to go and visit vineyards in the Rioja region of Spain and numerous others across the world. I also like to attend beer tastings and currently working my way through sampling the many many delights of gin. I'm not a lager or vodka and coke drinker. So it's about passion for me. What would the point of a non drinker be for me who would have no interest in visiting and sampling fine wines and paring with foods?

Definitely this. If you're just neckin' naggins at the weekend, that's one thing. But craft beer, wine, whiskey... these are the finer things in life. They are complimentary to ones meal and understanding the flavour notes and complexity of combinations becomes a passion. If my partner never consumed any alcohol, I'd feel like I was dining with a child. Fair enough if they have alcoholism and cannot safely consume alcohol, but to never try is crazy to me.

bucketybuck wrote:

I'm not a big drinker but I've had some great nights out with a girl just sitting in a pub getting drunk together, talking all the ****e of the day and getting looser and freer with each other as the night goes on. That simply wouldn't happen if she didn't drink.

Absolutely, and if they don't drink there's no way they'd ever sit down and watch some silly stoner film with you and fog on!

XD

Scamall

I find that it goes both ways! I am an Irish female who does not drink - shock horror!!!

I am also single and dating but find that a lot of times once I mention that I don't drink then I don't get asked out! I like to go out and have fun but in bars if a guy offers me a drink and I ask for a fizzy lemon they either think its a joke or spend ages trying to get me to have a real drink!

cloloco

Don't think it's just women, seems to be general attitude to non-drinkers. Why don't you drink?? Is usually the first question I'm asked when people discover I'm a non-drinker. I think some people who maybe haven't known me that long are waiting for me to say I'm a recovering alcoholic or something (which isn't the case). Why does there always have to be a reason? Attitudes are changing though, but I still get the 'and you don't even drink' line after a fun night out.

Scamall

cloloco wrote: »

Don't think it's just women, seems to be general attitude to non-drinkers. Why don't you drink?? Is usually the first question I'm asked when people discover I'm a non-drinker. I think some people who maybe haven't known me that long are waiting for me to say I'm a recovering alcoholic or something (which isn't the case). Why does there always have to be a reason? Attitudes are changing though, but I still get the 'and you don't even drink' line after a fun night out.

I get this now! When I was younger and didn't drink people thought I may be pregnant or working early... now that I am approaching 40 they think I may be an alcoholic or something. I can't drink for health reasons. I have nothing against drinking though!

mzungu

bucketybuck wrote: »

I think its very natural for a drinker to be wary of dating a non-drinker.

Maybe the non-drinker doesn't mind going to pubs but at the end of the night one person is going to be drunk and the other sober, and its only natural that the drunk person is going to feel at a disadvantage in that scenario. We've all been sober listening to a drunk person talk rubbish, so what if the drinker starts to worry that they are babbling and that their partner is only humoring them? Can they really relax and let their hair down knowing that as they change and become more outgoing that their partner is staying exactly the same and watching it happen? What about the practical things, like wanting to go in for a kiss but knowing you have six pints in and taste like a brewery while your partner is sober as a judge and will definitely notice?

I'm not a big drinker but I've had some great nights out with a girl just sitting in a pub getting drunk together, talking all the ****e of the day and getting looser and freer with each other as the night goes on. That simply wouldn't happen if she didn't drink.

Relationships should be about equality, you want to share things with your partner and for all the cheerful claims that non-drinkers are happy to go to pubs the fact is they won't be the same as their partners. They will be sober when their partner is inebriated and that is an unequal situation.

I don't think that things need to be like the above at all. You are describing a situation where the alcohol is the determinant factor in whether the relationship takes off, or not. I would say that any union that needs alcohol to that extent, is doomed to failure from the offset.

bucketybuck

mzungu wrote: »

I don't think that things need to be like the above at all. You are describing a situation where the alcohol is the determinant factor in whether the relationship takes off, or not. I would say that any union that needs alcohol to that extent, is doomed to failure from the offset.

Its nothing to do with one person "needing" alcohol to any extent, and its far too simplistic on your part to use terms like that.

Ave Sodalis

bucketybuck wrote:

Relationships should be about equality, you want to share things with your partner and for all the cheerful claims that non-drinkers are happy to go to pubs the fact is they won't be the same as their partners. They will be sober when their partner is inebriated and that is an unequal situation.

I think you are coming very much from a drinkers perspective, than a nondrinkers perspective. This really isn't the way I've ever thought about going to the pub. If anything, going out with drinkers allows me to be more free because they are drunk. I'm not more free because I'm too drunk. I'm more free because drunk people aren't going to judge me for being me so I can choose how to act.
I once had a friend decide she was going to go out sober. I decided from that day on, I'd never let her go out sober again. She was miserable and boring and just acted like she thought a sober person should act... and wouldn't allow me to act any other way either.

worded

Went out with a non drinker for years. Most boring partner ever. She is now with a non drinker.
He is back on the road now that his drink driving ban is over. Non drinker classic.

You never hear anyone saying ..... We had the most amazing salad and then the night was just amazing

Call me old fashioned, but give me some vodka and class "A"s and I'm there

stefanovich

When I hear non drinker I think alcoholic.

LizzyBennet

I would of thought that no drinking would be considered a good quality , it would be for me. I would never date someone who drinks to much or gets messy drunk on a regular basis. Ive never met a guy that doesn't drink but if i did it would be a turn on not a turn off

KingBrian2

Not getting much love for the non drinker. I wonder if you replaced Irish Water charges with Irish alcohol charges would the revenue roll on in.:D

bucketybuck

sup_dude wrote: »

I think you are coming very much from a drinkers perspective, than a nondrinkers perspective.

Of course I am, because its the drinker who is at the disadvantage. Any paranoia about the inequality is all on the drinkers side, so you might be happy to be in the pub sober all night but he/she has to judge whether he/she wants to be the drunk person looking silly in front of their partner.

And lets be real, thats what it is. Drunk people talk rubbish and act silly and if they are the only ones doing it they are going to feel embarrassed after the fact. So two people on a date, one drunk and the other sober? They aren't equal and its the drunk one with most to lose.

Ave Sodalis

bucketybuck wrote:

And lets be real, thats what it is. Drunk people talk rubbish and act silly and if they are the only ones doing it they are going to feel embarrassed after the fact. So two people on a date, one drunk and the other sober? They aren't equal and its the drunk one with most to lose.

But there's so many times in life you aren't going to be equal. In fact, when do you ever really be equal? One of you will most likely have more sexual partners, one might have had more relationships, one might have travelled more, one might be a better cook...

mzungu

bucketybuck wrote: »

Its nothing to do with one person "needing" alcohol to any extent, and its far too simplistic on your part to use terms like that.

The situation you described was entirely dependent on alcohol for bonding with somebody and having fun.

I'm not a big drinker but I've had some great nights out with a girl just sitting in a pub getting drunk together, talking all the ****e of the day and getting looser and freer with each other as the night goes on. That simply wouldn't happen if she didn't drink.

Could this not be done without a few drinks?

Any paranoia about the inequality is all on the drinkers side, so you might be happy to be in the pub sober all night but he/she has to judge whether he/she wants to be the drunk person looking silly in front of their partner.

Paranoia about inequality from drinking? If that is the mindset then neither side is ready for a relationship.

So two people on a date, one drunk and the other sober?

Why not leave it for a time when both are well acquainted with one another?

Scamall

I have no problem going on a date and my date having a couple of drinks (even one or two before hand for dutch courage) but I hate if a date gets drunk and can't walk straight.

I love going out with friends and have no problem with them getting drunk. My one rule as a non drinker is that I won't give drunk people lifts home! All my friends know they will be in a taxi even if I have the car!

The Bishop Basher

worded wrote: »

Went out with a non drinker for years. Most boring partner ever. She is now with a non drinker.
Call me old fashioned, but give me some vodka and class "A"s and I'm there

I really enjoy being in the company of drinkers but as soon as the class a's come out I'm gone.

There are few things in life, in my experience, that can achieve the same levels of boredom as can be experienced by having someone off their face on a yip yammering nonsense incessantly in your ear for hours on end.. It's slow mental torture...

But each to their own I suppose...

Mister Vain

I don't think I could enjoy a night out sober if everyone else is getting pissed. I find pubs to be boring after a few hours, and that's even with a few drinks.

bucketybuck

mzungu wrote: »

The situation you described was entirely dependent on alcohol for bonding with somebody and having fun.
Could this not be done without a few drinks?

Of course it could, but this conversation is about a drinker and a non-drinker on a night out.

Paranoia about inequality from drinking? If that is the mindset then neither side is ready for a relationship.

How very simple.

Why not leave it for a time when both are well acquainted with one another?

Why not prefer people with the same interests.

worded

LizzyBennet wrote: »

I would of thought that no drinking would be considered a good quality , it would be for me. I would never date someone who drinks to much or gets messy drunk on a regular basis. Ive never met a guy that doesn't drink but if i did it would be a turn on not a turn off

And poss a sign someone has a drink problem.
If a person has a few and doesn't get messy that's a turn on for me.
A non drinker has my alarm bells ringing ... Alert ... Alert ... Poss danger

That's from experience