Stuck sitting beside an annoying person, what to do

spongebob89

Im two weeks now stuck beside a guy who I got in with in small doses but now that he's beside me all day on the desk I am finding myself dreading work more than usual. The job is hard enough.

I can work well with him in a team as in help each other and communicate no problem but when sitting beside at a desk 8 hrs he is immature and I think needs attention, He is very sarcastic and not in a funny way and I just personally clash with his personality. I am a reserved introverted person myself but I can communicate greatly when it comes to work. so this is where we clash.

Would it be appropriate to ask my boss to move me to another desk? Im assuming managers don't like to hear employees complain about another colleague so im thinking of using the excuse that I am to close to the canteen which can be noisy and feel I could be more effective at my job in a quieter location?

The boss is a friend of the family an very approachable but also very professional so I not sire how to approach this or even to approach it, but I cann go into a job I absolutely dread.

Tigger

He's probably trying to be friends

05eaftqbrs9jlh

spongebob89 wrote:

I can work well with him in a team as in help each other and communicate no problem but when sitting beside at a desk 8 hrs he is immature and I think needs attention, He is very sarcastic and not in a funny way and I just personally clash with his personality. I am a reserved introverted person myself but I can communicate greatly when it comes to work. so this is where we clash.

Headphones. Avoid eye contact.

Tigger

Kelsey Green Mandolin wrote: »

Headphones. Avoid eye contact.

Introverts shouldn't do headphones and avoid eye contact they should do chatting and learning to socialise

05eaftqbrs9jlh

Tigger wrote:

Introverts shouldn't do headphones and avoid eye contact they should do chatting and learning to socialise

I'm not introverted (quite the opposite, really), I've gradually come to realise most people just aren't worth engaging with. They're so often "too" something; you can always see it almost straight away. That blank look.

_Brian

Just ask to be moved.
This is work, you don't need to put up with this crap, nor do you need to be friends with everyone.

mahamageehad

I sat next to someone that drove me insane for a few months. I did the headphone trick for a few weeks (ideally big bulky ones that you can't miss) and he learned to respect the boundaries. I was chatty with him when I arrived to work and at breaks, but he soon learned not to interrupt me while the headphones were on. The first few times he did I simply said "I hope this is very important as you've just derailed my train of thought" or something along those lines. If you can't work with music playing, have the headphones on anyway!

maximum12

Trust me it's nowhere near as bad as being close to a smelly person.

Mrs OBumble

OP, you're on the right track.

Forget about the person, there's no mileage in mentioning that.

But tell the boss about how very distracting you're finding that canteen traffic, and make a suggestion of where else you could sit. However make sure that the only places you could be moved to only have space for one person - the last thing you need is for them to move both of you together.

Re annoying-guy in the meantime: set about teaching him some boundaries. Be 100% professional at all times, but always turn conversations to work etc. Eventually he will give up.

Tigger wrote: »

Introverts shouldn't do headphones and avoid eye contact they should do chatting and learning to socialise

Rubbish. Introversion is not a personality defect, it's simply a personality characteristic. I can chat and socialise as well as the next bear, but if I'm feeling tired and need to re-charge my emotional batteries, I don't want people around.

livedadream

OP only you can judge if you need to move seats or not.

if you havnt already follow the advise above, start ignoring him, pointing out that he is distracting you etc

if this keeps happening ask to be moved.

be open and honest with your manager and say im sorry hes really distracting im going to have to move.

it pretty simple and doesnt need to be a big drama.

Kings Inns or bust

Just ask me politely to move?

spongebob89

Kings Inns or bust wrote: »

Just ask me politely to move?

Yes I will, I will give it another week to see if I can tolerate it but I was finding myself think About it all weekend an how much I dreaded it so I can't be having that, work is hard enough as it is.

I just don't want to seem as an oddball to my boss or that collegue by being obvious about it, I know I am a good team I just have no time for poor humour an jokes all day long. Which brings me to another part they constantly ask me to go on breaks with them where he gets even more opportunity to annoy me an when I say im gonna do my own thing I get a funny look. So I just don't want to be seen as an anti social oddball. Ah well I suppose once I do my work an be a good team player that should be all that matters and let them two have there petty sarcasm jokes alone

Kings Inns or bust

Silly jokes from me aside, sorry - I'd just approach your Boss in the frame of I need advice Boss - not asking for anything. You'll probably find he feels the same and moves you.

CreepingDeath

In one of my jobs many years ago, I got stuck beside a really annoying guy on my first day.
Turned out he was honourably discharged from the British army as a sociopath. I thought that would be a bonus, not a disability as a solider.

Depending on your line of work, certain professions, like programming, engineering, science and estate agents will attract that sort of personality.
Not everyone in those professions express that trait, but the reverse can be true, that people with those traits gravitate to specialist areas.

He'd read out the news on the hour to me as if I was interested in Chinese politics or whatever was the news of the day.
At the time, I'd have to explicitly say I wasn't interested in those topics, but did employ the headphones tactic too.

If you want to grow as a person, and aim to lead a team in the future then you will have to learn to deal with these people.
Sometimes they just need it politely spelt out that you aren't interested in specific topics, or if you're more socially adept steer the conversation to more common topics you both can appreciate.

Sometimes, you just need to give them some "air time" and let them talk about things they love. In a diverse team, they can have a place where their specialization comes into play. But like a bad movie you need to use all the oddballs in your team to win the game.

If you can't work with all people in a company, it can reflect just as badly on you. Just depends on the company and if the annoying person does have some worth.

So I'd try at least setting some common topics, setting some boundaries if you're working hard and trying to concentrate, but you may also need to give them some of your time. You never know, you might be the only person they talk to that day.

But boards is a left-wing infested and enforced forum, and the same is true of modern businesses afraid of punitive laws against discrimination.
So by punishment of law, your employer must make you tolerate everyone your employer employs.

2RockMountain

Am I way off the mark in thinking that two adults should be able to sort out an issue like this between them?

The headphones solution might work, or just a simple conversation like 'I find it hard to do my job when you keep chatting / singing / joking' or whatever might do it?

Mrs OBumble

CreepingDeath wrote: »

But boards is a left-wing infested and enforced forum, and the same is true of modern businesses afraid of punitive laws against discrimination.
So by punishment of law, your employer must make you tolerate everyone your employer employs.

Indeed.

Most companies have at least one someone who is difficult to get along with. Maybe it's due to a disability. Maybe they're just a bollox. Maybe they just have strong political opinions (left or right) that don't fit with others in the company. Maybe they're just 20 years older or younger than everyone else. Maybe it's you (given that you're reading boards rather than working right now!). Maybe it's me.

Whoever it is, someone needs to sit beside them. Someone needs to go to tea breaks with them. Someone even needs to have lunch with them occasionally. Because if no-one does, that's Bullying (ie exclusion) and shure we can't be having that.

Which is why IMHO the OP should not be honest with their manager. Their only professional hope of relief is either a new job, or a non-personal reason to move.

I once had someone refuse to take a certain desk, because of "family reasons" to do with someone sitting next to it. Because they'd given such a bland reason, I had to find a solution. But if they'd told me what I suspected the truth to be ("because NNN is lesbian"), I would have had to read them the riot-act about the government commitment to ending discrimination, and how I could not allow them to not take the desk.

2RockMountain

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

Most companies have at least one someone who is difficult to get along with. Maybe it's due to a disability.

What kind of disability makes a person difficult to get along with?

I'm not suggesting that everyone with a disability is all sweetness and light. Some people with disabilities are dicks, just like some other people are dicks. But I'm finding it difficult to see how a person with disability in the workplace would be 'difficult to get along with' because of their disability?

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

Most companies have at least one someone who is difficult to get along with.

I once had someone refuse to take a certain desk, because of "family reasons" to do with someone sitting next to it. Because they'd given such a bland reason, I had to find a solution. But if they'd told me what I suspected the truth to be ("because NNN is lesbian"), I would have had to read them the riot-act about the government commitment to ending discrimination, and how I could not allow them to not take the desk.

No, you wouldn't 'have to read them the riot-act about the government commitment to ending discrimination. You could just say something like: Don't be silly. A person's sexual preference has nothing to do with their work.

Would that have been too hard for you?

goz83

You're all way off the mark.

OP, start talking about Coronation Street every time he tries to talk to you. That'll fix it real quick.

Mrs OBumble

2RockMountain wrote: »

What kind of disability makes a person difficult to get along with?

Well to give a few examples:

Someone with Trimethylaminuria - it's a rare metabolic disorder, makes the person with it smell of fish. Nothing to do with their cleanliness. And nothing they can do about it. But challenging for colleagues.

Some (not all) people with autism: I worked next to a lad once who wanted the items on my desk arranged with military precision. It was bad enough the he spent time lining up his own stuff - but wanting me to do the same more than crossed the line. And a different lad who turned every single work-assignment back to his own particular interest: if it wasn't task X, he wasn't doing it. Caused enormous issues with cross-skilling in the team.

2RockMountain wrote: »

No, you wouldn't 'have to read them the riot-act about the government commitment to ending discrimination. You could just say something like: Don't be silly. A person's sexual preference has nothing to do with their work.

Would that have been too hard for you?

You weren't there, you don't know who we were working for. In the context, yes I would have had to.

TheDoc

Worth remembering team dynamics can be important too for management. The team I work in, having that good dynamic is really important. It's important that we get on well, so that we can also be blunt about issues and problems and not pussy foot around.

We've another team close to us, that arn't the best socially, and there is constant friction and issues and political movement due to that poor rapport.

I've seen some people who were really pretty good at their role not make it through probation because of their perceived lack of integration. Happened in my current place last year. Good guy, good skills, but just wasn't clicking and management decided to move him on with a good ref.

I'm pretty comfortable in my own head, but I'd say if I sat where I do, for 8hrs, with no chat/craic or laughter I'd be gone from this job ASAP.

Sounds like he is not inappropriate to you or anything other then just being chatty and its freaking you out. Could try every now and then initiative a convo with him, change the narrative a bit. If your introverted as you say, he might be just trying to figure out how you operate, and overcompensating. As in he might just be trying to be friendly and welcoming considering your new to your desk, but he's just over doing it.

2RockMountain

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

Well to give a few examples:

Someone with Trimethylaminuria - it's a rare metabolic disorder, makes the person with it smell of fish. Nothing to do with their cleanliness. And nothing they can do about it. But challenging for colleagues.

Ah the old Trimethylaminuria - how could that have slipped my mind? Sure we dealt with three of those lads last week.

Come on, really - how often do issues with trimethylaminuria come up in the workplace?

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

Some (not all) people with autism: I worked next to a lad once who wanted the items on my desk arranged with military precision. It was bad enough the he spent time lining up his own stuff - but wanting me to do the same more than crossed the line. And a different lad who turned every single work-assignment back to his own particular interest: if it wasn't task X, he wasn't doing it. Caused enormous issues with cross-skilling in the team.

These are fairly basic performance management issues, with little or nothing to do with a disability. People with disabilities need to be performance managed, just like anyone else.

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

You weren't there, you don't know who we were working for. In the context, yes I would have had to.

It really doesn't matter who you were working for. If somebody has issues about the sexual orientation of a colleague, it is up to any decent manager to do the decent thing.

Phantasos

Kelsey Green Mandolin wrote: »

I'm not introverted (quite the opposite, really), I've gradually come to realise most people just aren't worth engaging with. They're so often "too" something; you can always see it almost straight away. That blank look.

You might find your colleague overbearing, but I can tell you that your attitude will cause your 'problem' to occur at another desk as well.

You have that 'spot the negatives' mindset where you're immediately lining up the issues/problems with people and writing them off before you even give them a chance. Maybe reserve judgement a little, and try to find a little common ground with your colleagues?

Otherwise, it's really a case of growing some balls and telling your colleague you need a bit more quiet time to focus on your work. It's much better to solve your own problems than to go running to your boss trying to avoid the issue.

Pkiernan

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

Well to give a few examples:

Someone with Trimethylaminuria - it's a rare metabolic disorder, makes the person with it smell of fish. Nothing to do with their cleanliness. And nothing they can do about it. But challenging for colleagues.

I didn't realise that you suffered from this condition. My comiserations.

MayoSalmon

_Brian wrote:

Just ask to be moved. This is work, you don't need to put up with this crap, nor do you need to be friends with everyone.

You must be delightful to be around.

Jimmy Apples

Hi,

Report the issue to your manager to be resolved.

TallGlass

goz83 wrote: »

You're all way off the mark.

OP, start talking about Coronation Street every time he tries to talk to you. That'll fix it real quick.

Fair City even quicker