Kids at the supermarket

Kite2016 · 22-09-2016 6:29am #1

Hi,

I am looking for some advice on what other parents do with their kids at the supermarket?

We have a 20 month old boy so he goes in the trolley as it usually is the easiest way to get round but were finding it increasingly difficult to do a shop with no drama.

I know this a problem every parent faces with kids same age and older but wanted to see what is being done out there?

We are considering taking the ipad with us to play some videos which works a treat at home but just scared it will get broken.

Its a shame the supermarkets do not do more in this respect but any advice on ideas or if you also use an ipad/tablet would be very useful!

mfceiling · 22-09-2016 6:43am

Kite2016 wrote: »

Hi,

I am looking for some advice on what other parents do with their kids at the supermarket?

We have a 20 month old boy so he goes in the trolley as it usually is the easiest way to get round but were finding it increasingly difficult to do a shop with no drama.

I know this a problem every parent faces with kids same age and older but wanted to see what is being done out there?

We are considering taking the ipad with us to play some videos which works a treat at home but just scared it will get broken.

Its a shame the supermarkets do not do more in this respect but any advice on ideas or if you also use an ipad/tablet would be very useful!

What do you want the supermarkets to do? A bit unfair on them...next thing we'll want every business to cater to us with kids.
I brought mine at that age and I gave them a "list" and a pencil. They had to put a line through every item we bought. Kept them going most times.

EagererBeaver · 22-09-2016 6:49am

Kite2016 wrote: »

Its a shame the supermarkets do not do more in this respect but any advice on ideas or if you also use an ipad/tablet would be very useful!

Christ almighty. Yes, it's the duty of the supermarket to assist you in raising your child.

Get them actively involved in the shopping - picking things off the shelves etc. Will be time consuming though. Otherwise simply be more strict and disciplined with them - no drama means no drama.

December2012 · 22-09-2016 6:51am

What should the supermarket do?

I do online shopping, or give the kids jobs.

When they were toddlers or babies I would put them in the trolley seat and constantly talk to them during the shopping.

SteM · 22-09-2016 6:52am

mfceiling wrote: »

I brought mine at that age and I gave them a "list" and a pencil. They had to put a line through every item we bought. Kept them going most times.

This is the move. Give them small tasks to do, ask them to point to various things you are looking for like bananas, apples, milk etc. It means your shop will take a bit longer though. OP, please don't become one of those parents pushing their kids around in a trolley with an ipad propped up in front of them, that's so depressing to see imo.

evolving_doors · 22-09-2016 6:53am

Just slow down and get them involved. I always found myself rushing to get out when the kids were there.
They like the responsibility of the list too. Get them to draw a picture of what you need before you go aswell.
Ditch the iPad.

lawred2 · 22-09-2016 6:56am

Kite2016 wrote: »

Hi,

I am looking for some advice on what other parents do with their kids at the supermarket?

We have a 20 month old boy so he goes in the trolley as it usually is the easiest way to get round but were finding it increasingly difficult to do a shop with no drama.

I know this a problem every parent faces with kids same age and older but wanted to see what is being done out there?

We are considering taking the ipad with us to play some videos which works a treat at home but just scared it will get broken.

Its a shame the supermarkets do not do more in this respect but any advice on ideas or if you also use an ipad/tablet would be very useful!

Lol

It's a rite of passage... Every parent has to figure it out.

We have two under three. We try to involve them in some ways. Get them to pick things off the shelf. Or decide what they want to put in the trolley.

Works for a little while but then boredom kicks in and they start running off. Then it's a case of sticking them in the trolley and moving as fast as we can.

My advice, don't worry about it. Most people are well aware what it is to have kids with you in the supermarket.

Kite2016 · 22-09-2016 7:05am

thanks for that fair play doing the shop with 2 must be fun.
were both very interactive with him when we go round playing asking questions etc etc but like you say boredom sets in and when were doing the weekly run keeping him going is hard. i am not bothered on what other shoppers think when the tantrum starts but more on keeping him happy and getting what we need.
interesting to see people against the ipad idea will certainly take note of that!

lawred2 wrote: »

Lol

It's a rite of passage... Every parent has to figure it out.

We have two under three. We try to involve them in some ways. Get them to pick things off the shelf. Or decide what they want to put in the trolley.

Works for a little while but then boredom kicks in and they start running off. Then it's a case of sticking them in the trolley and moving as fast as we can.

My advice, don't worry about it. Most people are well aware what it is to have kids with you in the supermarket.

Kite2016 · 22-09-2016 7:25am

December2012 wrote: »

What should the supermarket do?

I do online shopping, or give the kids jobs.

When they were toddlers or babies I would put them in the trolley seat and constantly talk to them during the shopping.

parents shopping with children are a huge customer base so to suggest they can do more in making the experience more fun for children is not a far fetched request imo

Kite2016 · 22-09-2016 7:27am

EagererBeaver wrote: »

Christ almighty. Yes, it's the duty of the supermarket to assist you in raising your child.

Get them actively involved in the shopping - picking things off the shelves etc. Will be time consuming though. Otherwise simply be more strict and disciplined with them - no drama means no drama.

and in your experience you found saying no drama means no drama worked effectively and your little one sat obediently whilst your perused at your pleasure up and down the isles?

EagererBeaver · 22-09-2016 7:28am

I'm pretty much against shoving a screen in front of kids' faces period. I can't stand it when families come into restaurants and they whip out the iPad as soon as they sit down. It's a quick, easy fix that does no good in the long term.

SteM · 22-09-2016 7:30am

Kite2016 wrote: »

and in your experience you found saying no drama means no drama worked effectively and your little one sat obediently whilst your perused at your pleasure up and down the isles?

Perusing is not in your immediate future. Have a list, make the experience as nice as possible for both of you and get it over with. You can go back to perusing the hummus isle when they're older.

Kite2016 · 22-09-2016 7:37am

EagererBeaver wrote: »

I'm pretty much against shoving a screen in front of kids' faces period. I can't stand it when families come into restaurants and they whip out the iPad as soon as they sit down. It's a quick, easy fix that does no good in the long term.

i agree that ipads should not be used at any given time to just keep kids quiet. however as and when the time calls 15-20 mins watching their favourite show in order to do a needed task is not bad parenting. we all watched cartoons growing up and if this is managed responsibly then imo i dont see the harm really in giving it to them when im shopping?

EagererBeaver · 22-09-2016 7:38am

Kite2016 wrote: »

and in your experience you found saying no drama means no drama worked effectively and your little one sat obediently whilst your perused at your pleasure up and down the isles?

a) I don't peruse at my leisure. I have a shopping list and I stick to it. Maybe something you could try. Shopping with kids is never going to an enjoyable experience. Let it take as long as it takes and then get the hell out of there.

b) I don't recall saying that I speak the words "no drama means no drama". I said to be more strict and disciplined.

c) You're the one who came looking for advice. Don't get snippy. You don't have to take anyone's advice on board but don't come along for it and then moan when you don't like or disagree with it. There is no "right" answer to parenting, despite what many, many of your friends and peers will tell you.

EagererBeaver · 22-09-2016 7:43am

Kite2016 wrote: »

i agree that ipads should not be used at any given time to just keep kids quiet. however as and when the time calls 15-20 mins watching their favourite show in order to do a needed task is not bad parenting. we all watched cartoons growing up and if this is managed responsibly then imo i dont see the harm really in giving it to them when im shopping?

Did you watch cartoons when you were brought shopping?

Yes, of course there's nothing wrong with letting kids watch the odd bit of Peppa and whatever else and I'm in favour of kids getting to grips with technology early but that's not what you're talking about. You're talking about giving them the iPad purely as a distraction to keep them quiet and stop then making a fusswhile you try to do something else. In my opinion, this is a slippery slope.

Kite2016 · 22-09-2016 7:46am

EagererBeaver wrote: »

Did you watch cartoons when you were brought shopping?

Yes, of course there's nothing wrong with letting kids watch the odd bit of Peppa and whatever else and I'm in favour of kids getting to grips with technology early but that's not what you're talking about. You're talking about giving them the iPad purely as a distraction to keep them quiet and stop then making a fusswhile you try to do something else. In my opinion, this is a slippery slope.

may i ask when your children watch peppa say, do you try to get things done whilst they are quiet?

Hrududu · 22-09-2016 7:47am

Do you both need to go shopping? Can one of you stay home with the child and the other go shopping on their own?

EagererBeaver · 22-09-2016 7:48am

Kite2016 wrote: »

may i ask when your children watch peppa say, do you try to get things done whilst they are quiet?

No, you may not. I'm not the one looking advice. Again, I don't understand your snippiness.

D0NNELLY · 22-09-2016 7:48am

Supermarket trolley is a boring place. It wasn't the child's idea to do the shopping so don't get pissed when he's had enough..

I still can't fathom what you expect the supermarkets to do for you with this?

If my wife is busy and i have to bring my two and three yr olds, then they take turns being handed items to throw over their shoulder into the trolley.. not eggs or heavy items obviously.

Kite2016 · 22-09-2016 7:50am

EagererBeaver wrote: »

a) I don't peruse at my leisure. I have a shopping list and I stick to it. Maybe something you could try. Shopping with kids is never going to an enjoyable experience. Let it take as long as it takes and then get the hell out of there.

b) I don't recall saying that I speak the words "no drama means no drama". I said to be more strict and disciplined.

c) You're the one who came looking for advice. Don't get snippy. You don't have to take anyone's advice on board but don't come along for it and then moan when you don't like or disagree with it. There is no "right" answer to parenting, despite what many, many of your friends and peers will tell you.

Quote - Christ almighty. Yes, it's the duty of the supermarket to assist you in raising your child.

Get them actively involved in the shopping - picking things off the shelves etc. Will be time consuming though. Otherwise simply be more strict and disciplined with them - no drama means no drama.

you to be fair didnt start off by offerening friendly advice which i was looking for?? i have no issues in taking on opinions but i didnt ask for my parenting skills to be discussed purely what people do when they go and if they have used an ipad.

Kite2016 · 22-09-2016 7:58am

EagererBeaver wrote: »

No, you may not. I'm not the one looking advice. Again, I don't understand your snippiness.

merely trying to undertand why it is a slippery slope in doing this? if with 99% of parents, chores at home are done when kids are quiet watching cartoons then why is this so different and also deemed wrong? this is not being snipey just challenging the slippery statement u made.

Loveinapril · 22-09-2016 7:59am

If the task is that difficult, why not do it alone, get it delivered or do Click and Collect if it available to you.
Supermarkets do plenty to engage kids, some have the little creche they can stay in while the shopping is done and some have those novelty car trolleys. I agree that it is not up to supermarkets to help you out here!
I used to get a toddler to 'write' their own list by drawing pictures of a few things then they were in charge of shopping for those things. I don't know if your kid is too young for that. Maybe just let them be the 'packer' and they can arrange things as you put things in the trolley.

goldenhoarde · 22-09-2016 8:02am

D0NNELLY wrote: »

If my wife is busy and i have to bring my two and three yr olds, then they take turns being handed items to throw over their shoulder into the trolley.. not eggs or heavy items obviously.

This is how I get mine around the shops. They help put things in and the older ones fetch and give to the youngest to put in Works well for me

EagererBeaver · 22-09-2016 8:07am

Kite2016 wrote: »

Quote - Christ almighty. Yes, it's the duty of the supermarket to assist you in raising your child.

Get them actively involved in the shopping - picking things off the shelves etc. Will be time consuming though. Otherwise simply be more strict and disciplined with them - no drama means no drama.

you to be fair didnt start off by offerening friendly advice which i was looking for?? i have no issues in taking on opinions but i didnt ask for my parenting skills to be discussed purely what people do when they go and if they have used an ipad.

My initial post expressed shock (similarly echoed by others) that you somehow expect the supermarket to assist you in your endeavours. I offered you my advice - get them actively involved. Others have said similar.

Nobody is questioning or querying your parenting skills. Simply expressing an opinion on what they believe to be good practices or what works for them. As I said earlier, there's no "right" answer to parenting.

As for the iPad issue, I think young kids should be allowed a set amount of "audio visual" entertainment time a day - TV, iPad, computer etc. This is part of the natural course of a day and what you do when they're occupied is up to you. This is different from using an iPad at any given moment specifically to shut them up and get them out of your hair, e.g. in a restaurant.

Besides, you're right to worry about the iPad getting broken. A 20 month old sitting in a shopping trolley with an iPad is a disaster waiting to happen.

SteM · 22-09-2016 8:26am

Kite2016 wrote: »

merely trying to undertand why it is a slippery slope in doing this? if with 99% of parents, chores at home are done when kids are quiet watching cartoons then why is this so different and also deemed wrong? this is not being snipey just challenging the slippery statement u made.

It can be used as a time to interact with your kid, they can learn discipline and also learn about the real world around them and actually learn some useful information. Eggs are delicate, this is what certain fruit smells or feels like, bags of sugar are heavy etc. That's why tablets shouldn't be used while shopping imo, it distracts them from the world around them that they can be actively learning from.

Edit: I would take the opposite view of a 2 hour plane journey by the way. Once the initial thrill of being on a plane has worn off they get bored and that's when I break out the TV shows for a while.

pc7 · 22-09-2016 8:30am

This popped on my feed this morning after reading this thread lol
http://www.toddlebox.ie/surviving-the-supermarket/

22-09-2016 8:35am

Kite2016 wrote: »

merely trying to undertand why it is a slippery slope in doing this? if with 99% of parents, chores at home are done when kids are quiet watching cartoons then why is this so different and also deemed wrong? this is not being snipey just challenging the slippery statement u made.

So you have them watching cartoons when you do your chores, you now are thinking of having them watch cartoons when you do the shopping........ when else are the cartoons wheeled out? 99% of parents don't imo.

You don't car about other shopper's reaction to the tantrums and you're worry about the cartoons while shopping is damage to the hardware....... and you reckon shops should do more for you as you have kids.

Best advice given to you was
- involve them in the shop
- discipline
- leave kids at home with one parent, other does the shopping
- get shopping delivered

December2012 · 22-09-2016 8:35am

Kite2016 wrote: »

December2012 wrote: »

What should the supermarket do?

I do online shopping, or give the kids jobs.

When they were toddlers or babies I would put them in the trolley seat and constantly talk to them during the shopping.

parents shopping with children are a huge customer base so to suggest they can do more in making the experience more fun for children is not a far fetched request imo

If you really don't want to go shopping with their kids:
1- leave them with somebody
2- online shopping
3 - go when the children are asleep
4- plenty of places have late night and early morning options
5 - shop during work lunch hour

Every parent here has given you ideas.

If you want to use the iPad, use the iPad. I don't find it helpful in my experience.

You say that it's not a far fetched request for a supermarket to make the experience more fun for children (which if you're worried about it, is for you to do).

So, if it's that easy, what do you suggest they do?

_Brian · 22-09-2016 8:39am

This is an example of the generation who expect everyone else to bend over backwards to rear their children for them.

At home it's the tv/tablet.
Shopping aparrently the supermarkets need to take responsibility.
Same people give out schools aren't doing enough.

Here's a novel idea - raise your own damn kids yourself.

Teaching kids that the only time they are quiet is with a screen in their face is a huge mistake as there will always be times that screens can't be used, op has just discovered this.
Also parents need to say no and be firm at home, I'm not say be mean at home but start teaching boundaries and the notion that parents are to be listened to. Far too many parents say "no" for the first time when they are out in public and it never goes well, children need boundaries and control in their lives consistently so when you set a boundary in public it's not the first time.

When I see a child throwing a fit in public the child has either been poorly parented or has a behaviour condition. Now the % that actually have behaviour issues is small so the vast majority have been poorly parented.

ThisRegard · 22-09-2016 8:40am

Kite2016 wrote: »

Its a shame the supermarkets do not do more in this respect but any advice on ideas or if you also use an ipad/tablet would be very useful!

They're not entertainment centres. Anyway, there's plenty of visual stimulant in a supermarket to keep a kid distracted, just shove them in the trolley and ask them to put stuff you hand them into it, or to keep an eye out for things for you.

SteM · 22-09-2016 8:43am

_Brian wrote: »

This is an example of the generation who expect everyone else to bend over backwards to rear their children for them.

At home it's the tv/tablet.
Shopping aparrently the supermarkets need to take responsibility.
Same people give out schools aren't doing enough.

Here's a novel idea - raise your own damn kids yourself.

Teaching kids that the only time they are quiet is with a screen in their face is a huge mistake as there will always be times that screens can't be used, op has just discovered this.
Also parents need to say no and be firm at home, I'm not say be mean at home but start teaching boundaries and the notion that parents are to be listened to. Far too many parents say "no" for the first time when they are out in public and it never goes well, children need boundaries and control in their lives consistently so when you set a boundary in public it's not the first time.

When I see a child throwing a fit in public the child has either been poorly parented or has a behaviour condition. Now the % that actually have behaviour issues is small so the vast majority have been poorly parented.

I agree with you apart from this. It's just not the case. Sometimes kids are tired or hungry and have a strop, it's not caused by poor parenting.

Kids at the supermarket

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