Kids at the supermarket

ThisRegard

_Brian wrote: »

When I see a child throwing a fit in public the child has either been poorly parented or has a behaviour condition. Now the % that actually have behaviour issues is small so the vast majority have been poorly parented.

However, this is such nonsense.

lawred2

_Brian wrote: »

When I see a child throwing a fit in public the child has either been poorly parented or has a behaviour condition. Now the % that actually have behaviour issues is small so the vast majority have been poorly parented.

:rolleyes:

Kite2016

_Brian wrote: »

This is an example of the generation who expect everyone else to bend over backwards to rear their children for them.

At home it's the tv/tablet.
Shopping aparrently the supermarkets need to take responsibility.
Same people give out schools aren't doing enough.

Here's a novel idea - raise your own damn kids yourself.

Teaching kids that the only time they are quiet is with a screen in their face is a huge mistake as there will always be times that screens can't be used, op has just discovered this.
Also parents need to say no and be firm at home, I'm not say be mean at home but start teaching boundaries and the notion that parents are to be listened to. Far too many parents say "no" for the first time when they are out in public and it never goes well, children need boundaries and control in their lives consistently so when you set a boundary in public it's not the first time.

When I see a child throwing a fit in public the child has either been poorly parented or has a behaviour condition. Now the % that actually have behaviour issues is small so the vast majority have been poorly parented.

good to see someone who is passionate about raising kids properly and i completely agree with you about boundaries.

however to blatently stereotype me for asking for advice on ideas or for using a means to keep a child entertained for a period of time and to suggest it is bad parenting or an example of 'this generation' is extremely narrow minded.

i advocate the use of colouring books lots of outside time something this new generation actually used to do and lots of things which do not include technology. the use of an ipad is now becoming a part of this generartion and being ignorant to that is simply irresponsable as this is the way things are going.

and if you are implying that as a parent you did not experience a tantrum in public then you are full of the proverbial!

lots of people are also defending the supermarket? these same people will complain a restaurant is not child friendly...the supermarkets try at every opportuntiy to maximise ROI on each and every visit...fully accepting this i dont see the harm in making the experience enjoyable for my children whilst i spend my cash.

SteM

Ikea have a childcare facility iirc.

I doubt your local Tescos or Dunnes have the margins to convert part of their store to providing childcare along with the cost involved in staffing the facility, insuring it etc.

Kite2016

SteM wrote: »

Ikea have a childcare facility iirc.

I doubt your local Tescos or Dunnes have the margins to convert part of their store to providing childcare along with the cost involved in staffing the facility, insuring it etc.

again completely agree but what if they could provide packs for kids to take around to get them more involved or as mentioned have things that attach to trolleys not a huge cost to keep customers in store and keep the peace. and my initial quest for ideas was more what i could be doing but dont see why this couldnt be done?

pc7

Kite2016 wrote: »

again completely agree but what if they could provide packs for kids to take around to get them more involved or as mentioned have things that attach to trolleys not a huge cost to keep customers in store and keep the peace. and my initial quest for ideas was more what i could be doing but dont see why this couldnt be done?

Why can't you bring a pack to bring around to get them more involved? Honestly they don't need to do more, its a supermarket.

SteM

Kite2016 wrote: »

again completely agree but what if they could provide packs for kids to take around to get them more involved or as mentioned have things that attach to trolleys not a huge cost to keep customers in store and keep the peace. and my initial quest for ideas was more what i could be doing but dont see why this couldnt be done?

We were in City airport in London last month and there were staff going around with these sorts of packs for kids, they had crayons and stickers etc. They were very proactive in handing them out. I guess the thinking there is you could be waiting in the lounge for quite a while and that would help keep the kids entertained whereas your local shop expects people to be in and out fairly quickly.

Tasden

Kite2016 wrote: »

again completely agree but what if they could provide packs for kids to take around to get them more involved or as mentioned have things that attach to trolleys not a huge cost to keep customers in store and keep the peace. and my initial quest for ideas was more what i could be doing but dont see why this couldnt be done?

If you don't know what is supposed to be done then how are a supermarket going to know?
If you have an idea of what you'd like in the pack then do that yourself.

In France they provide little kids size trolleys at supermarkets. Maybe buy one of these (they're cheap) and let your little one fill her trolley with light things, have a list for her with pictures on.

Call me Al

Get the child involved in the process. Talk to them about the food, the trolleys, anything and everything... what they think the ingredients in the product are, pictures on the packaging, where to put the product in the trolley. And reinforce all of this when you praise them for the good behaviour as you go around the shop. Kids love praise and smiles from a parent. And I have been known to reward good behaviour with a reward like a small colouring book, or a comic even now when they're 7&9 (things they're going to get anyway I hasten to add). Just make a point of it being because they've been extra good when they have been extra good.

Give him a list of things he needs to get, talk to him about his list and where he thinks he will find the item (make sure to stretch them out over the length of the supermarket) and give him his own bag to put the item in. When my two were very little (I had 2 under two for a while) and fitting in the trolley I was constantly refereeing battles so had to come up with ideas to occupy them otherwise they were killing each other and making my supermarket trip a misery. I just kept interacting with them. Once they had my attention and they were involved in what was going on they had fun. After I got my routine going shopping honestly became a pleasure and over time the biggest problem I had was controlling their enthusiasm as they tried to help me!

Please don't go down the route of technology. It's honestly unnecessary and, considering the value of these things, it's unfair to leave them in the hands of your child.

Neyite

Mod:

Can people cut out the sniping at each other and have a discussion please?

Ta.

pc7

Superquinn used to have a creche on site and it obviously wasn't cost effective and is gone. I bring a toddler shopping and keep them entertained myself 9/10 it works, the other time I just suck it up and continue. I really don't depend on the supermarket to do it. Same in restaurants, on planes or anywhere I think they could meltdown (which being a toddler is everywhere!).

TheQuietFella

EagererBeaver wrote: »

Christ almighty. Yes, it's the duty of the supermarket to assist you in raising your child.

Get them actively involved in the shopping - picking things off the shelves etc. Will be time consuming though. Otherwise simply be more strict and disciplined with them - no drama means no drama.

I know of a supermarket that actually did this but people then started dropping

in their kids and went elsewhere to do the shopping!

Kite2016

Call me Al wrote: »

Get the child involved in the process. Talk to them about the food, the trolleys, anything and everything... what they think the ingredients in the product are, pictures on the packaging, where to put the product in the trolley. And reinforce all of this when you praise them for the good behaviour as you go around the shop. Kids love praise and smiles from a parent. And I have been known to reward good behaviour with a reward like a small colouring book, or a comic even now when they're 7&9 (things they're going to get anyway I hasten to add). Just make a point of it being because they've been extra good when they have been extra good.

Give him a list of things he needs to get, talk to him about his list and where he thinks he will find the item (make sure to stretch them out over the length of the supermarket) and give him his own bag to put the item in. When my two were very little (I had 2 under two for a while) and fitting in the trolley I was constantly refereeing battles so had to come up with ideas to occupy them otherwise they were killing each other and making my supermarket trip a misery. I just kept interacting with them. Once they had my attention and they were involved in what was going on they had fun. After I got my routine going shopping honestly became a pleasure and over time the biggest problem I had was controlling their enthusiasm as they tried to help me!

Please don't go down the route of technology. It's honestly unnecessary and, considering the value of these things, it's unfair to leave them in the hands of your child.

thanks so much for your feedback will certainly take this on board

livinsane

If he's really making the shopping trip a nightmare, I'd do the shopping without him when possible and just take him on quick trips to the shop to get him used to the environment. Definitely don't go down the ipad route. Its just a phase you have to get through. He'll drop it anyway!

20 months is an awkward age because he's probably too young to really be interested in the process. You'll probably notice a big difference six months down the line. There was a stage where doing a big food shop was pretty stressful with my toddler, particularly waiting to pay, but now that he's a bit older it's good fun. I can have a conversation with him now so can keep his interest.

If ye have to go together, don't be too worried about him making a racket in the shop or what others are thinking. Do the best you can, sing nursery rhymes or whatever. Oh giving him something to eat while you walk around can help too!

Stone Deaf 4evr

Can one of you not go do the shopping on your own?

If I go with the family, it takes about an hour, between slow sauntering aroudn the shop, 10 minute chats with people we know, wrangling the kids away from stuff. and we end up with more stuff than we need.

If I go on my own, its list in hand, headphones in, tunes up, in and out in about 15 minutes tops. And thats not a few items to tide us over either, it'd be a full on shop to last the best part of a fortnight.

Sounds to me like you are using the iPad as a distraction tool which isn't very healthy.
If I had to bring an iPad to the shopping centre so my child would behave, I would start from scratch on my parenting habits.

cowboyBuilder

As said allready, keep them amused but I tend to avoid screens, best is to let them "help" with the shopping either putting items in the trolley or crossing the items off the list - or sometimes I play a game with him, I spy or something similar ..

Call me Al

By the way, you will still have moments where he won't be happy and will have a tantrum. There is no magic wand for every scenario. He is a toddler and it goes with the territory sometimes.

On those days you'd be well advised to put in the earplugs and finish up as quickly as possible.

There's a reason they're called the terrible two's lol!!!

endacl

Kite2016 wrote: »

parents shopping with children are a huge customer base so to suggest they can do more in making the experience more fun for children is not a far fetched request imo

Sure you'd have to do the shopping anyway. What're you planning? A protest hunger strike till the kid's old enough to send down the shop on his bike?

pwurple

I'm not a fan of supermarket shopping myself... all that hunting around and being bombarded with crap I don't want. I find it very time consuming and not at all enjoyable. I've no interest in doing it, so I don't.

Here's what we do instead.

Weekend: go to the butchers, the fishmonger, the greengrocer etc early in the morning. I like this, being able to talk to people, see the stuff out of its packaging, get it cut how I like and get recommendations or whatever. The children participate, count the money, carry the fish, name the things they can see etc.

Mid-week: grocery delivery from either tesco or supervalu. Online shopping. I do a quick shop at night, in my jammies. There's a list of 'usuals' which speeds it up. Milk, yoghurts, pasta, crackers, raisins etc. Delivery guy arrives and puts the stuff on my kitchen table. Ah, it's great.

No plastic bags. No trolleys or car parks or rummaging for trolley euros, or pulling last persons rubbish out of the trolley. No bleep bleep bleep. No conveyor belts or getting annoyed at the speed things are happening. No halogen lit hellhole.

xabi

When I was tasked with doing the shopping with my child I used to go straight to the book section, pickup a book he liked and he read that while I did the rest. Normally he was finished the book by the time shopping was done so I put it back or bought it if he was still reading.

Dravokivich

Whenever my son is in the shops, we just tell him to help us look for the stuff we are going to get.

_Brian

SteM wrote: »

I agree with you apart from this. It's just not the case. Sometimes kids are tired or hungry and have a strop, it's not caused by poor parenting.

bromging kids out to a supermarket while hungry or tired is a recipe for a strop, that isn't the child's fault that's the parents inability to understand how their child is and how to get ready for An easy trip to the shops. I hate shopping myself when I'm hungry or tired, bringing a child along like that would be madness.

I agree with the whole keep them busy with the list etc, and again that should start at home involving them in making the list up, that will give them some involvement in the list before its produced in the shop.

Teaching children that they need a screen to be quiet is setting the child up for problems and it's not the child's fault.

Kite2016

endacl wrote: »

Sure you'd have to do the shopping anyway. What're you planning? A protest hunger strike till the kid's old enough to send down the shop on his bike?

how did you know?

?Cee?view

Kite2016 wrote: »

Hi,

We are considering taking the ipad with us to play some videos which works a treat at home but just scared it will get broken.

I'll probably get shot down for writing this, but there's your problem.

I'd be scared of the effect of the ipad on your child and your child's development. Wouldn't be at all scared that it might be broken.

LegacyUser

Kite2016 wrote: »

again completely agree but what if they could provide packs for kids to take around to get them more involved or as mentioned have things that attach to trolleys not a huge cost to keep customers in store and keep the peace. and my initial quest for ideas was more what i could be doing but dont see why this couldnt be done?

My local tesco has a basket with small pieces of fruit at the door and sign saying they are free for parents to give their kids going round the store, nice gesture but I think going above and beyond. I don't think they should have to provide packs or put things on trollys. Most offer on line shopping now so if it's really such a massive chore to do the shop use that option. Parenting requires lots of planning, you don't do things on a whim. So either plan and shop online well in advance or run the shop like a military operation - list in hand, get in and get out as quick as possible or else shop local and go to smaller local stores

My dad made weekly shops into a game naming items etc and as we got a little older we'd get questions about countries the fruit came from for example (had so many capital cities memorized at a young age lol) and then when even bigger we'd be given mini lists of stuff to go find and bring back.

Sunny Dayz

Unfortunately the "doing a shop with a toddler" is a rite of passage for all parents and I doubt there's a parent who has commented on this thread who hasn't had to deal with a melt down at some stage. It's something we all have encountered and come out the other side!


All I can do is echo what other posters have suggested: involve your child, chat to them, ask them to point out the stuff on the shelves, help put things in the trolley, let them out for a bit to walk and pick things off the shelf, the trolley seats look to be quite uncomfortable.
Make sure he has been fed, watered and changed before you go into the supermarket. I've had to abandon a half full shopping trolley more than once because himself filled the nappy and the store didn't have toilets.


Probably not advisable but worked for my fella when he was older was plain old fashioned bribery. If you are good in town you can have an ice cream when we are leaving. He was good most of the time but there were occasions when he wasn't and he didn't get an ice cream.


I would not recommend the ipad - not just because of screen time but because he will most likely drop it. Or what if someone whips it out of his hand when you're not looking. If you want to amuse him, a few little books or a small toy.

jester77

9 times out of 10 it is not so bad, the other 1 time can be a nightmare. I've had plenty of episodes where there was chaos. A winter display of egg nog that was stacked on top of one another went flying one day, there was 10-15 smashed bottles on the floor, that was the worst one. In a country where I didn't speak the language and bottles of bolognese were smashed, that was awkward.

But most of the time it is fine. Tell them what you are going to buy beforehand, let them help you put it in the trolley, ask them if there is something you forgot... we seem to always forget chocolate, biscuits or cake

Sligo1

I remember having this difficulty with my son. He was a nightmare to bring to the supermarket. My girl Just sat in silence at this age in the supermarket (A delight! Lol). But my son was a different kettle of fish. And can I just say this has absolutely NOTHING to do with parenting techniques. A tantrum being blamed on bad parenting.... Seriously WTF!!??

Anyway OP, at such a young age I wouldn't have had my fella walking around the shop as he would pull all and sundry off the shelf and I remember just getting so stressed when the wailing at the check out began! The list is a good idea and get him involved. Another thing was a bag of apple slices and carrot sticks. My boy was all about the food so this went down a treat and gave me 15-20min grace and he loved the fact it was all prepared at home in a tiny little bag for him. Also, a small petit pain or baguette. He loved chewing it and it took him forever!

P.s. OP I have 2 kids with only a year between them and supermarket shopping was always the bane of my life. Give him a year... It does get better I promise 😊

HeidiHeidi

Tasden wrote: »

In France they provide little kids size trolleys at supermarkets. Maybe buy one of these (they're cheap) and let your little one fill her trolley with light things, have a list for her with pictures on.

I saw this backfire spectacularly in a Superquin/Supervalu once..... don't know if the mini-trolley was the parent's own or supplied by the shop - they got to the till with both trollies fairly full, and despite the fact that she saw the mother emptying the trolley at the till, the kid had an absolute SHÍT-FIT at the suggestion that she had to empty hers.

Cue the biggest tantrum I think I've ever seen in public, ever :eek:

To be fair to her, the mother just looked (exhaustedly) philosophical about it, and laughed ruefully in a "well, what can you do?" way. I was ahead of her so don't know how it all ended.

Didn't envy her though!