Pregnant after Miscarriage

anndub

Hi All,

I've just found out I'm pregnant again after having a miscarriage in July at 8 weeks.

I know it's normal to be anxious all things considered, but I'm not sure how I'll get through the next 10 weeks analysing every twinge and feeling dread every time I need the loo in case I'll see spotting!

If anyone has an advice on coping mechanisms or tips on what helped them I'd really appreciate it. I'm planning on taking a meditation course in the next few weeks which will hopefully teach me some skills!

Loveinapril

I really feel for you. I miscarried on Thursday, and even when there were no signs to begin with, I was still petrified I would see blood. Can you get early scans due to the previous miscarriage? I hope to get pregnant soon so hope some good advice is offered x

Speedwell

Folks, I have personally never had a miscarriage when a pregnancy was well under way like you have, but I am close to several women who have had successful full-term pregnancies after miscarriages, even after multiple miscarriages. Don't lose hope. Rely on your medical team.

anndub

I'm so sorry to hear that loveinapril. All i can say is it does get better.

I really thought I was going to drown in grief at the time. The only way I could describe it was like i was standing in the middle of a stadium with all my family and friends in the stands but none of them could get to me and I couldn't get to them. It was a lonely place. I didn't think I'd ever feel like me again but time does heal. Give yourself lots of it.

dori_dormer

I've had 4 pregnancies and only have 2 children. Miscarriages are horrible. Just know that you are not alone and 1 in 4 women experience them. They are heartbreaking.
I spoke to my husband a lot. He was just as anxious as I was. I also cried a lot again for my lost babies. Time will pass. Maybe get a private scan as I don't think Irish hospitals give early scams unless you miscarry a number of times in a row

dori_dormer

I've had 4 pregnancies and only have 2 children. Miscarriages are horrible. Just know that you are not alone and 1 in 4 women experience them. They are heartbreaking.
I spoke to my husband a lot. He was just as anxious as I was. I also cried a lot again for my lost babies. Time will pass. Maybe get a private scan as I don't think Irish hospitals give early scams unless you miscarry a number of times in a row

s4uv3

anndub wrote: »

Hi All,

I've just found out I'm pregnant again after having a miscarriage in July at 8 weeks.

I know it's normal to be anxious all things considered, but I'm not sure how I'll get through the next 10 weeks analysing every twinge and feeling dread every time I need the loo in case I'll see spotting!

If anyone has an advice on coping mechanisms or tips on what helped them I'd really appreciate it. I'm planning on taking a meditation course in the next few weeks which will hopefully teach me some skills!

Firstly, congratulations
I'm currently five months pregnant after being in the exact same situation as you, except I lost my first pregnancy a few weeks earlier. When I found out I was pregnant again I was terrified. Almost regretted trying again so quickly incase the same thing happened.
I don't think you'd be human if you weren't anxious, I certainly was, and I have friends with half-reared kids who sa they're still worried about them
I tried to take the attitude that "what will be will be", and kept telling myself that if I was to lose the pregnancy, then it would happen whether I worried or not. And worrying and fretting certainly won't do you any good, it'll only stress you out.
For the next few weeks, try to stay as busy as your tiredness will allow so you have plenty of distractions. Organise nights/evenings out, go down the country to visit someone, buy some theatre tickets, whatever you can do to stop yourself sitting and staring and fretting x

fits

s4uv3 wrote: »

if I was to lose the pregnancy, then it would happen whether I worried or not. And worrying and fretting certainly won't do you any good, it'll only stress you out.
x

I haven't miscarried but I was very concerned about it for this pregnancy. I was told i had no eggs left one month before i got positive test. Funnily enough it was when I was told it was twins that I stopped worrying about it. Life can throw stuff at us but worrying about in advance ain't gonna stop it.

Its very human to worry though. Congratulations and good luck!

brokensoul

anndub wrote: »

Hi All,

I've just found out I'm pregnant again after having a miscarriage in July at 8 weeks.

I know it's normal to be anxious all things considered, but I'm not sure how I'll get through the next 10 weeks analysing every twinge and feeling dread every time I need the loo in case I'll see spotting!

If anyone has an advice on coping mechanisms or tips on what helped them I'd really appreciate it. I'm planning on taking a meditation course in the next few weeks which will hopefully teach me some skills!

I had a mis in July 2015 and found out I was pregnant again in Dec 2015. For me, there was no magic solution to the worry, all I could do was take it week by week and remind myself that statistically you are not at any more risk of losing this baby because of what happened last time.

No doubt it causes anxiety, but I did find that it got easier over time.

Good luck with it. x

pwurple

anndub wrote: »

Hi All,

I've just found out I'm pregnant again after having a miscarriage in July at 8 weeks.

I know it's normal to be anxious all things considered, but I'm not sure how I'll get through the next 10 weeks analysing every twinge and feeling dread every time I need the loo in case I'll see spotting!

If anyone has an advice on coping mechanisms or tips on what helped them I'd really appreciate it. I'm planning on taking a meditation course in the next few weeks which will hopefully teach me some skills!

Been there. It's awful.

Ask your GP for an early scan referral, to the EPU, maybe around 7/8 week mark.

The relief from seeing that little heartbeat and seeing everything measuring normal made a huge difference for me.

If your GP is a heartless gob****e who won't refer you to the local early pregnancy unit, then there is the option of a private scan.

I had my son almost a year to the day after miscarrying at 11 weeks. My GP was a marvellous support. Speak to him/her. An early scan will help put your mind at ease. Good Luck.

Liam McPoyle

anndub wrote: »

Hi All,

I've just found out I'm pregnant again after having a miscarriage in July at 8 weeks.

I know it's normal to be anxious all things considered, but I'm not sure how I'll get through the next 10 weeks analysing every twinge and feeling dread every time I need the loo in case I'll see spotting!

If anyone has an advice on coping mechanisms or tips on what helped them I'd really appreciate it. I'm planning on taking a meditation course in the next few weeks which will hopefully teach me some skills!

Bloke here but you sound exactly like my wife, we have had two misses.

I will tell you what her consultant has said to her.

Your body is going to change.

Twinges, cramps, back pain, nausea will come and go.

No two pregnancies are the same so you may experience different symptoms this time around, that's normal too.

Don't think you are being dramatic if you feel the need to go into hospital for a scan or that you need to talk to a midwife or doctor for reassurance, that's what they are they for.

All the best.

Gatica

We'd the same problem, miscarried at week 7 on first, now almost to term on second. I was amazed to find out that first time pregnancy miscarriage seems incredibly common, so if it was your first, know that for most the second is successful.

It was stressful at the start of the second pregnancy, every feeling of wetness (sorry for the TMI) and I'd rush to the bathroom to check it wasn't spotting again. No magic cure unfortunately, as it's tough getting through those first few weeks on your second pregnancy, but once we were past the first trimester it got easier and less worrying. Just keep yourself busy to help the time fly by, as hard as it is, try not to worry, as you really cannot do anything about it with worrying.

I don't think maternity services would offer an early scan unless you'd repeat miscarriages indicating a potential problem. However, you can always book in a private scan yourself, it's very reassuring when you hear a heartbeat. Try to stay positive and good luck!

Dardania

My wife and I had an ectopic first time, and for our second pregnancy (who is now a larger than life 13 month old) I recall that Holles Street (fully public) wanted a couple of extra scans to be on the safe side. Helped us with reassurance for sure! I never understood though why they did audio only at first, and then the visual - our little one was usually quite silent on the audio one so it was heart stop moment for us, until they did the visual and we could see her heart beating.

We were both quite shook after the ectopic (I'll never forget the feeling of emptiness of us walking down Mount Street that evening, sun fading, and how cold & numb I felt)

It's important to grieve for the lost little one. Our families were great support - both of our parents had lost pregnancies too -both quite late term as it happens. It was enlightening to hear their experiences (for the first time properly), and reassuring to see that life continued for them - and they never forgot the lost little ones.
ANd I remember at a stag do for a friend, a third chap & I were chatting, and he and his wife had 3 miscarriages in the space of a few years. Now they have 2 little ones keeping them awake. But I distinctly remember that recalling the memories of the lost ones helped both he and I. Talking helps.

As a woman, all you can do is your best for the little one. Nature has to do it's part then...and it usually will!

anndub

Thanks for all the replies. It helps to hear the stories of others.

I haven't been to my GP yet, I guess I wanted to let the news sink in a bit before getting the show on the road. I definitely find myself a lot more emotionally detached from the pregnancy this time.

The doctor who did my follow up scan (I was only threatening miscarriage when I presented to the Rotunda so had to return to the EPU the following week) suggested on the QT that we call up and say we were told to come back on our next pregnancy and see could we wangle an early scan. I might take her advice if the GP isn't helpful.

It was our first baby Gatica. I've also heard that it's very common on firsts.

PhoenixParker

I had a missed miscarriage identified at 12 weeks last year and I've just given birth to a healthy baby boy. (Come to think of it, it was this day last year that we found out)

Early in the pregnancy I'd suggest a private scan around 7.5 weeks. It's late enough that you're pretty much guaranteed to find a heartbeat but not so late that you're dragging out your agony. Obviously better if you can persuade the EPU to do it.

Later in pregnancy what really helped me to feel reassured was a fetal Doppler.
They're not for everyone, but I read a survey on r/miscarriage about whether people found a fetal Doppler helpful or not and something like 95% who'd bought one found it reassuring rather then crazy making so I took the plunge.

They're about E50 on Amazon and from about week 12 I could consistently locate the heart beat. 30s every second morning until I could feel him moving consistently. The one or two days I couldn't find a heart beat, I found I didn't panic because of the previous reassurance and because I could usually attribute it to eating breakfast/going to the bathroom first.

I reckon the Doppler saved me about E400 in private scans as I'd have been into someone every week without one.

Dinkie

Congrats on your pregnancy.

I'm pregnant (3 months) after 2 miscarriages in the past year and 3 in the past 2 years. All mine occurred at 5-6 weeks, so hoping I'm out of the woods. I already have a daughter who is 3. She was born after 2 miscarriages.

I don't think there is anything you can do to completely reassure your self. But there are things you can do to help. Get a couple of private scans, or ask your EPU for a couple of extra reassurance scans. Mine are doing this for me.

I also do accupuncture every couple of weeks. I find it really relaxing.

Remember the chances of miscarriage go down with every week.

Good luck

anndub

Thanks for all the responses.

I'm amazed how many people go through this. It seemed to me at the time that everyone around me were having healthy pregnancies bar me! I'm starting to think the Irish culture of keeping these losses private probably exacerbates the trauma.

Can you recommend a good acupuncturist in the Dublin area Dinkie? My mother swore by it when she was ill a few years ago so I'd love to give it a go.

I'll consider the dopler later on. My anxiety has actually eased hugely over the course of the week with the onset of morning sickness. I resented it last time but am loving it this time round!

Dinkie

anndub wrote: »

Thanks for all the responses.

I'm amazed how many people go through this. It seemed to me at the time that everyone around me were having healthy pregnancies bar me! I'm starting to think the Irish culture of keeping these losses private probably exacerbates the trauma.

Can you recommend a good acupuncturist in the Dublin area Dinkie? My mother swore by it when she was ill a few years ago so I'd love to give it a go.

I'll consider the dopler later on. My anxiety has actually eased hugely over the course of the week with the onset of morning sickness. I resented it last time but am loving it this time round!

Sorry, I live in Wexford - but others have recommended accupuncturists in the past for Dublin, so maybe they can tell you.

Hope things are still going well.

greenttc

anndub wrote: »

Can you recommend a good acupuncturist in the Dublin area Dinkie? My mother swore by it when she was ill a few years ago so I'd love to give it a go.

I went to a great accupuncturist who deals with a lot of fertility and pregnancy issues. She is not a herbalist though.

She is in sandyford so if you want contact details for her let me know and I will send you her details.