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LDR Breakup - I want him back

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  • #52
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Chocolate fiend wrote: »
    Didn't you actually have two other threads about him? He has never ever sounded like a good guy, a nice guy, or a guy who cared a damn about you. Did one of you have a sick mother? maybe him?

    You will look back and realise this was a lucky escape! he probably feels the same.

    I did have other threads, not sure about the sick mother thing you're talking about though? The thing is he was so good in so many ways, then broke my heart at other times. We actually could have had something great, I truly believe that. He quit his job for 3 months and came to Ireland, he paid for the visa without a second thought, he's the most confusing man. I'm now left feeling like i'm the worst human being in the world.


  • #53
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Big Bag of Chips wrote: »
    Well, isn't he just a swell guy!!

    Honestly, OP. I'm beginning to wonder if you're 14 and this was your first boyfriend. Although these days I think 14 year olds would have more self respect than to put up with such a shambles of a relationship.

    I honestly don't know why you are so cut up about this fella. You should be thanking your lucky stars that you didn't waste anymore money on moving to the other side of the world to force a bad relationship to work. Maybe your upset is rooted in the fact that you find it difficult to believe that you put up with all this rubbish from him and the relationship still didn't work out. Maybe you feel for everything you put up with, and all the upset you went through that you deserved a reward at the end of it and the reward was a happy ever after.

    The problem with that is, this fella wasn't capable of giving you a happy every after. You went out for just over a year and for that entire year there were problems. With occasionally good times. The first year of a relationship should have NO bad times!! Seriously. I just dint understand people who seem to have to be in drama filled relationships. Life is hard enough. The one place you should feel safest and most secure and most relaxed and most cherished is in your relationship. If you're having a tough time, your relationship is the place you look for support. Yes, obviously relationships are going to take work and effort and sometimes things can happen to throw them off course a little. But that should be the exception rather than the rule. Weekly even monthly arguments are NOT normal. Feeling bad about yourself because of stories about the ex is not normal either. Always worrying and wondering is not normal. A persons actions tells you more than their words. And his actions were selfish.

    He told you he loved you. Wanted to move in together, get a dog.. whatever?

    I think we should move in together. You should move to my area and we'll get a dog and go on weekends away and have lovely romantic evenings in and walks in the country. It'll be lovely, and so peaceful.

    See how easy it is to say. Doesn't make any of it true, though. He was all talk but when it came to it he wasn't willing to follow through. You're hurt because you believed him and you invested too much to believe now that it was all lies. But it was all lies. He might be a nice fella, but he wasn't good at relationships, or at least this one. Lesson learned. You'll be a bit wiser the next time and if there's things you're uncomfortable with, or not happy with you'll catch them quicker, and not invest so much of yourself in changing someone who doesn't want to be changed.

    Yeah I think the fact I put so much in to the relationship and loved him unconditionally, tried to see past things he did and for him then to just give up on us because I was angry and upset and not at my best is so hurtful. I know you say I was duped, but why did he quit his job, come to Ireland for 3 months, then pay out $7,000 for our visa.


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