6 month old sleep issues (worsened after vaccinations)

Babooshka

Hi

I'm sure this has been done to death but I'm going insane here. I've a 6 month old and it hasn't been plain sailing at all since she was born. She was born with a bad case of silent reflux. She's a smiley little thing but she has a fierce strong cry and is extremely willful and if she doesn't want to go to bed she screams the house down. Our fault and I put my hands up but we've gotten her into the habit of wheeling her to sleep then transferring her to her cot later on.

She's just had her 6 month shots and last night was a complete nightmare as she woke at 1.30 and was awake till 5. She vomited a bottle I gave her back up also so we think she had a reaction to the jabs as she also did at her 4 month ones too. Today she was sluggish and not quite herself and I'm here alone and I've spent 4 hours trying to get her to sleep including rocking? Wheeling, singing, dancing on my head, nothing worked until finally a last effort at wheeling just worked there but I dread taking her up to her cot like this as she'll probably wake but I will anyway soon. I don't even know what I'm asking people here. My spirit is just broken. As I'm on maternity leave I get up with her at night when she wakes and it's just been happening a lot more this past month. She was a much better sleeper before this and she used to go to sleep lying on our bed in the dark with me before being put in her cot so I don't know why things have reduced to this. I guess I'm just looking for anyone who's been through similar. It's such a lonely place to be sometimes. Thanks for reading.

Lashes28

I'm not sure I can help you. But I'm in the same boat with my 8 month old. Reflux colic and cmpi makes a nightmare child..
I've taken a hard stance at bed time and put him into the cot and let him cry it out. Some nights he's bad others he's great .But once I know he's feed and fresh nappy he's just bullying .
As for during the night. I can only relate to the soul destroying feeling of never being able to settle him .Tonight he's woke up at 12.15 and I've given him a bottle of water .He fell asleep back in to the cot and five minutes later he's awake screaming again. Currently he's singing in the cot and I feel like getting my coat on and walking out the door. He doesn't take a soother .And to be honest I've not gotten his 6 month vaccines yet cause I know he will be a billion times worse.
Hope you have a good night. And know your not alone .

bp

Would you consider a sleep consultant? I used one and found her excellent. Within a week we went from waking multiple times per night to sleeping through.

It isn't crying it out but we found a stricter routine was key. She is based on cork and unless you are in cork it's all over the phone and a sleep journal via email. Would highly recommend her a year and a bit later

mirrorwall14

Sounds like the 4 month sleep regression is still going on. Keep an eye on growth spurts, sleep went to pot for us every time he grew quickly.

And I would agree, routine is absolutely crucial. We've done bottle, book, sleep sack (teeth) and sleep since he was only 3 months old. It has been a life saver. Often when he's had a holy terror of a day or is sick we know he will at least go down from 7 to 11 even if he's up the rest of the night afterwards. We've been known to repeat the whole routine at 3am when required

Babooshka

Thank you all. She slept from 12.30 till 7 so thank God for that. It's so hard when you're in it and you can't see out the other side. We have had a fairly basic routine with her in that she gets wound down upstairs in the dark before bed every night. I sing to her which sometimes works but lately not at all, she gets so worked up that it's scary and inevitably ends up in the pram. This is why I haven't gone there with crying it out or sleep training. She gets herself into an awful state and I find it too distressing to leave her cry as it escalates into fits so we'll have to try again when she settles a bit after the vaccination. I felt so alone last night I really just needed a reach out. Thank you boardsies for replying.

pc7

Please don't cry it out, please don't. Would you wear a sling and keep them close, they can be sore and unwell especially after vaccinations. Might just need the extra cuddles. I know it's hard my lo suffered terrible with stomach issues, didn't sleep in stretches until 18 months old. I thought I was going nuts, I know it's so hard but it will pass. Every baby is different and isn't trying to manipulate you, they need you.
I don't want to turn your post into cio/or not but just wanted to say it will get easier. Getting out for air during the day is a big help too.
Good read here, http://www.pinkymckay.com/blog/sleep/

Anne_cordelia

I wouldn't cry it out either. 6 months is still very young. She's not manipulating you. She needs comfort for whatever reason. My child reacted to every vaccination for at least 48 hours after, maybe longer. I deliberately booked them at times when I had nothing on for days after so I could just devote myself to minding her and catching up on sleep during the day. There is a sleep regression at 4 months. Also at 6 months your baby is probably dealing with starting solids. As she has reflux could certain foods be causing her pain?

What are her naps like during the day? Can I just say my over-2 year old still wakes at night....its normal and it's much easier to just accept it will happen. They shouldn't be sleeping through by 6 months. Some babies do but most don't and bouts of teething, development like crawling etc will result in bad nights.

Babooshka

Thanks Anne Cordelia /PC 7

I was only on Pinky McKays website yesterday. I never really planned on cio as I'm just not hard enough to do it, her crying bores deep into my soul. Nor did I say I thought she was manipulating anyone. Just that she has a very hard time getting to sleep and she gets so worked up that the whole bedtime thing takes almost 2 hours.

She naps 2 to 3 times a day for an hour and one longer one for almost 2 hours (EDIT: she mostly did until of late whereby she can be a very light sleeper and wake after 15 minutes) She loves her sleep but fights getting to sleep. I have a wrap as with reflux was recommended but she hates being bound up and is a very wriggly girl who wants to walk before she can crawl! I love her spirit but right now just hating the struggle she's having getting to sleep. I definitely know she's not manipulating she's so small still. I was just asking other Mams how they get through in the dark of night alone as it really can get you down.

I guess I should just bear in mind that lots of other babies her age aren't sleeping through either and gently routine her for bed for as long as it takes. Thanks again.

Thanks

LegacyUser

I have two - my second is 6 months, my first is just over 2 years old. She was a silent refluxer. Both sleep at night, both were/are daytime catnappers (40 mins at a time for naps).But it is totally normal for a 6 month old to wake at night.The key thing is that they learn to go back to sleep.

Routine, routine, routine. Really really important. From what I have heard and read, the problem is that people do what works to get the baby to sleep when it's small, then as the baby gets bigger and more alert and interested - what works doesn't work anymore. And you end up trying every act in a circus to get them to sleep. So the end result is that THEY don't actually know what will put them to sleep, because there's so many different things being tried every day.

The whole point here is to try to teach them to learn how to fall asleep themselves. It is actually possible, without crying it out or anything like that. I think, at your stage maybe a sleep consultant would be a good idea. Let's face it, 6 months of broken sleep will break any parent, and you don't know what to do next practically.It's so hard. But the thing you have to remember is that YOU can't put her to sleep - she has to do that herself. Does that make sense? You can create the conditions alright, but the actual act of falling asleep is her and her alone.

To be honest, I think write off last night. No baby does well after vaccines, it's just how it is. For what it's worth, my advice (based on my own two!!)....bedtime - figure out your routine. Bath, book, bottle, bed. Whatever works for you, but in the exact same order down to the last little thing, every single night.She needs to fall asleep in her own bed, and (this HAS been done to death) you need to put her in her own bed awake. She'll probably howl. That's ok, you sit there with her and tell her quietly it's time for sleep. Does she take a soother, or have favourite teddies? Keep giving them to her. I don't know about the wrap, she'll probably hate it by now. Both of my girls have BIG personalities (I really mean that!!) , both sleep in sleeping bags, and they do bang around the cot a lot before going to sleep but that's ok. If she's getting hysterical, take her out, calm her down (in the bedroom, preferably dark or low lit, don't go downstairs, or out on the landing, or anything that might look interesting to her) and return her to the cot. Repeat - ad nauseum. I'm serious, it takes as long as it takes. Keep telling yourself that she will stop eventually because honestly, there is no six month old that can keep that level of hysteria going forever. I'm not a crying it out fan myself either, it's too hard, so stick with her. Switch out with your husband every so often if needs be. Your message has to be - it's bedtime now. If you stick hard to that for a few nights, her crying periods should get shorter and shorter and she should get better at bedtime.

The middle of the night thing - I wouldn't take her out of the cot (unless she's hysterical again). I'd just sit there , no lights on or anything, (or hang over the side of the cot!!!) and repeat what you do earlier, telling her it's sleep time or whatever.Again the message is - it's time to be asleep, in your cot. I know it's horrendous and exhausting and just godawful (I've been there) but seriously 4/5 nights straight of that and you should find that the waking periods get shorter and shorter. See the way you described wheeling, rocking etc - imagine trying to go to sleep yourself and someone having to help you and changing what they were doing every 20 mins or so? You'd never be able to fall asleep....it's kind of the same thing for her.

Oh the other thing is what time does she go to sleep? Early is better Like bedtime starts at 7pm, or 6:45pm or whatever works for her day.

Hope that helps.

pc7

It isn't easy and can be so hard when people offer advice and have babies that have slept through from 6 weeks. They are all different, do whatever it takes to get rest when you can. Our lo slept with us as it meant most sleep, we got all the 'rod for our backs' advice but you know it worked, got us all some sleep and it has gotten better. Really hope things improve, be good to yourself, you are doing a great job x

Babooshka

pc7 wrote: »

It isn't easy and can be so hard when people offer advice and have babies that have slept through from 6 weeks. They are all different, do whatever it takes to get rest when you can. Our lo slept with us as it meant most sleep, we got all the 'rod for our backs' advice but you know it worked, got us all some sleep and it has gotten better. Really hope things improve, be good to yourself, you are doing a great job x

Ahh thanks so much for that it gives me great comfort. And yes I get it about unsolicited advice. I never realised until I had this little bundle how much people go through with the little folk and how there's never one size fits all. We had a nice family day today and it's helped the mood a lot. Thanks again x

LegacyUser

As a parent to three children, I would advise to do whatever you can to help them sleep. We put our first child to bed in a routine and 30 mins later he would wake up and again we'd go upstairs, put him back to sleep and 30 mins later he would wake up....it was pointless.

Now, with our third, he regularly wakes at 9pm. He lift him out and he sleeps on my lap, while I watch tv. He's happy, I'm happy...it works.

This "habits" thing is rubbish. Ignore it. The worst scenario is them not sleeping because they are a nightmare all day. If they won't sleep anywhere but in your arms, well bring them out. Watch tv, let them sleep in your arms.

Ignore this advice by all means, but I wish I'd known this with our first. We spent 100s of very frustrating evenings messing about with routines and the impending habits we were creating....all nonsense.

Babooshka

Hi Shesty & Half a Lemon

Thank you both for your advice which are polar opposites! As I was saying previously there's no one size fits all for any baby and I can see the merits of both sets of advice.

My baby won't be comforted if she's put down and you pick her up ...a hug and a pat and put her back down won't work, its been tried many times and as mentioned she goes from zero to meltdown in seconds and picking her up doesn't console her she's almost sick at that stage and I can't just tell myself she'll get over it soon and keep doing it, I take no issues with anyone else doing that with their baby but it's not my choice of parenting. We need to explore other options. For now I've been so tired that yes, like you Half a lemon, I take her back downstairs if it's gone on too long. Lots of people will say it's inconsistent and sending the wrong message to her and it will probably take longer to establish a bedtime routine but, like you Half a Lemon, in the grand scheme of things I don't see it causing lasting damage and we'll get her into a routine when she's a little older and over a few of the challenges she's currently going through. I really appreciate everyone's input.

She's a lot better since her jabs last Friday, napping longer, sleeping from 11 at night till 6.30 and just more her bubbly self. So hopefully she's through that challenge. I'm sure the next one is close by!!

Oh by the way I should mention the reason I felt it was going to pot is also that she was sleeping from 9 to 6 or sometimes 7 from about 10 weeks (even with awful reflux she's still on medication for) until about the 4 month regression. I guess we were just spolied for a time! Shesty I appreciate the advice but putting her to bed early only means she's up from midnight on and it doesn't work for us. Once, about 2 weeks ago she slept from 7 till 6 next morning and we thought "hello!"...but it was a one off. Sometimes there's no rhyme or reason to their sleep habits I guess. Thanks again.

LegacyUser

That's fair enough, my advice was given to help out if you felt you wanted her in her cot all night.

I do agree with doing what works, but I am now at the toddler stage with my older one, and if you can reduce the battles now, and get them into some sort of a habit, it helps you at a later date, to be honest.There's a whole other set of difficulties that arise as they get bigger. But she is still only 6 months and it's totally normal for them to wake at night at this time. My older girl was also on reflux medication, and had a pretty bad four month sleep regression that went on for several weeks, but we did come out the other side. My younger (conversely) has not yet had that sleep regression at all - they are all so different. Definitely the few days after a vaccine aren't the best time to measure the sleep problems by!!!

I think if you really are finding it's driving you mad, a sleep consultant might be worth a look, as I said. Their advice will probably be similar to some of what I have said, but it will be tailor made for your situation and your child and more importantly, they will be there to help you out when you have a really really bad night and need some support.

hollymartins

I don't have any tips for the night time but would you consider putting your baby down for a nap downstairs? I used to put my son in his cot upstairs, I would try to settle but before I'd even make it downstairs he would start crying. I could be an hour trying to settle him and then I'd just give up and bring him downstairs with me. The breakthrough was when we got a travel cot which I keep in our sitting/dining area. I put him down for his nap and when he starts crying I am only a few feet away rather than running up and down the stairs, so I can reach him before he has a complete meltdown and has passed the point of settling.

So in our house day time naps are in his travel cot and then he only sleeps upstairs when he goes down for the night

Babooshka

hollymartins wrote: »

I don't have any tips for the night time but would you consider putting your baby down for a nap downstairs?

Hi Holly she's currently napping downstairs in her pram, the only way she will fall asleep currently is if we wheel her so she naps a lot there! This is her third nap today though so for now I'm just going to go with the flow. My initial post was when I was trying to get her to bed late at night, feeling very alone hence my cry out...thanks.

Lucuma

Babooshka sleep consultant have all different types of solutions (no cry) etc to tailor to your baby and your needs. Generally 250 to 300 euro is what they cost.