My cat is driving me mad

Airyfairy12

Can anyone offer advice with training a cat? He cries to go outside so I let him out, 10 minutes later he's crying outside to get back in, he comes in then cries to go back out again then he cries to get back in and the cycle continues, if he's out at night time he sits outside my window to get inside at all hours, I let him in then he wakes me up to go back out. He's been in and out at least 12 times in the last 2 hours. If I ignore him he just gets louder and louder, he'll sit outside my bedroom crying until he gets my attention, then he'll run towards the front door, look behind him to make sure im following then sits at the door crying until I open it. Ive tried keeping him in the back of the house at night with the doors shut but he cried so much he's lost his voice and I dont to stress him out.

His litter box is always fresh and he does use it, he has a fresh bowl of diluted milk every day and he's fed twice a day, there's always some food in his bowl so he's not hungry and he gets attention, he's rarely left alone during the day. Theres always somebody around.

He doesnt seem to be in pain, otherwise hes very happy and friendly but he cant make up his mind and its driving me crazy.

Fluffy Cat 88

Airyfairy12 wrote: »

Can anyone offer advice with training a cat? He cries to go outside so I let him out, 10 minutes later he's crying outside to get back in, he comes in then cries to go back out again then he cries to get back in and the cycle continues, if he's out at night time he sits outside my window to get inside at all hours, I let him in then he wakes me up to go back out. He's been in and out at least 12 times in the last 2 hours. If I ignore him he just gets louder and louder, he'll sit outside my bedroom crying until he gets my attention, then he'll run towards the front door, look behind him to make sure im following then sits at the door crying until I open it. Ive tried keeping him in the back of the house at night with the doors shut but he cried so much he's lost his voice and I dont to stress him out.

His litter box is always fresh and he does use it, he has a fresh bowl of diluted milk every day and he's fed twice a day, there's always some food in his bowl so he's not hungry and he gets attention, he's rarely left alone during the day. Theres always somebody around.

He doesnt seem to be in pain, otherwise hes very happy and friendly but he cant make up his mind and its driving me crazy.

2 questions. How old is he? Is he neutered?

Airyfairy12

Fluffy Cat 88 wrote: »

2 questions. How old is he? Is he neutered?

He's about 3, he's not neutered, could that be the reason? he's consistently like this, its not like he goes through stages

Fluffy Cat 88

Airyfairy12 wrote: »

He's about 3, he's not neutered, could that be the reason? he's consistently like this, its not like he goes through stages

Could be "in the mood for some loving" if you get my drift. Possibly looking to mate. There could be some females calling for some - ahem - attention in the distance.

BoJack Horseman

Airyfairy12 wrote: »

He's about 3, he's not neutered, could that be the reason? he's consistently like this, its not like he goes through stages

Definitely consider getting him neutered.
He will be more docile anyway, so could do the trick.

Airyfairy12

Fluffy Cat 88 wrote: »

Could be "in the mood for some loving" if you get my drift. Possibly looking to mate. There could be some females calling for some - ahem - attention in the distance.

Yeah haha I thought that maybe he had a girlfriend lol but I usually know when he's looking for something cause he goes mad and wanders around howling all day and night then disappears for a day or two, this seems to be more like neediness, when he is in the house he cries for attention, stops when he's getting petted or when you sit near him.

Airyfairy12

BoJack Horseman wrote: »

Definitely consider getting him neutered.
He will be more docile anyway, so could do the trick.

Yeah he needs to be neutered, he's fairly docile anyway he's just incredibly needy

BoJack Horseman

Does he have toys to play with?
Stimulation?

Also, and this isn't specific to his issue, but you mentioned milk.... Unless it's specifically cat milk then don't give him it. (Cats can't process lactose).

Airyfairy12

BoJack Horseman wrote: »

Does he have toys to play with?
Stimulation?

Also, and this isn't specific to his issue, but you mentioned milk.... Unless it's specifically cat milk then don't give him it. (Cats can't process lactose).

I know I dilute it with loads of water, he won't drink plain water, he's high maintenance lol the vet told me years ago that diluted milk is ok. He wont play with toys, ive tried, he only likes playing with sticks and I have to move the stick around for him to chase it

Nody

First of all neuter; any outside cats should be neutered full stop and that may help on it's own. Secondly once neutered look at getting him a friend (female, neutered) via rescue (because they can advice who they have who likes other cats to make the matching work better) to give him more stimulation indoors.

the beer revolu

1. Get him neutered ASAP. It is very irresponsible to have an intact cat free to wander.

2. Get a cat flap. He'll have his own door and will stop bothering you.

my3cents

the beer revolu wrote: »

1. Get him neutered ASAP. It is very irresponsible to have an intact cat free to wander.

2. Get a cat flap. He'll have his own door and will stop bothering you.

I doubt the cat flap will make any difference. We have a neutered tom that does the same thing as the OP's cat and its like he is trying every possible entrance and exit. He could go out a cat flap then whine outside a window then if let in whine inside the front door and ignore the cat flap at the back door. All the time there being the cap flap or another open window or door he could use.

Luckily he's not like that all the time but we get a session of trying out every possible entrance/exit every day.

myshirt

We have a cat 15 months old, alpha male, tomcat. He ventured into another cats patch and got his arse handed to him, came back with an infected paw and cuts and abrasions.

We got him neutered at that point. But he still cries to go out, and back in, and out. So I'm interested here in any advice. If this cat was on a quiz show with the top prize question being 'Do you want to outside or inside?' we'd be waiting a while for that money.

the beer revolu

my3cents wrote: »

I doubt the cat flap will make any difference. We have a neutered tom that does the same thing as the OP's cat and its like he is trying every possible entrance and exit. He could go out a cat flap then whine outside a window then if let in whine inside the front door and ignore the cat flap at the back door. All the time there being the cap flap or another open window or door he could use.

Luckily he's not like that all the time but we get a session of trying out every possible entrance/exit every day.

I guess we're lucky in that regard with our two.
They never call to come in and only occasionally ask to be let out the door without a flap.

Walter2016

the beer revolu wrote: »

It is very irresponsible to have an intact cat free to wander.

It would be great if the judgemental crap could be automatically deleted in this forum.

Op asked for advice, not some judgemental statement.

Mod note... Please leave the moderating to the mods. If you've a problem with a post, report it instead of taking matters into your own hands.
Thanks.
DBB

Ficheall

Sounds like Eliot's Rum Tum Tugger..

the beer revolu

Walter2016 wrote: »

It would be great if the judgemental crap could be automatically deleted in this forum.

Op asked for advice, not some judgemental statement.

Ha ha.
If you think that's needlessly judgmental, you mustn't frequent here very often!

I gave 2 points of advise.
Social responsibility prompted me to add my outrageous judgmental comment.

You're funny.

Knine

the beer revolu wrote: »

Ha ha.
If you think that's needlessly judgmental, you mustn't frequent here very often!

I gave 2 points of advise.
Social responsibility prompted me to add my outrageous judgmental comment.

You're funny.

Not to mention him potentially fathering lots more unwanted litters of half feral kittens who will die very young in life. So being responsible is judgemental now.

srsly78

I had a neutered Tom that also loved to have the door opened for him - despite having his own catflap! Just don't perform the doorman service for him, he will eventually use catflap. Or open your window so he can jump in/out of bedroom.

Pretty normal cat behaviour it seems!

Airyfairy12

srsly78 wrote: »

I had a neutered Tom that also loved to have the door opened for him - despite having his own catflap! Just don't perform the doorman service for him, he will eventually use catflap. Or open your window so he can jump in/out of bedroom.

Pretty normal cat behaviour it seems!

The front doors been left open and he'll sit on the window sill crying to get in, when he sees someone notice him at the window he sticks his head around watching the front door waiting for someone to appear, you have to stand outside where he can see you before he'll jump off the window to come in, windows have been left open and he'll still cry to get in through the door.

We cant get a cat flap because the other cat tries to bring live rats and mice into the house.

Cuddlesworth

myshirt wrote: »

We got him neutered at that point. But he still cries to go out, and back in, and out. So I'm interested here in any advice.

Stop getting up to let him out. Stop letting him dictate his routine, his food, how he will be interacted with. Its a two sided relationship, heavily in the owners favour.

Cats have a routine, and yours wants attention through the night. He cries, you get up. It works, so he will keep doing it. You have to break that routine.

It will be hell to do because he will kick it up a notch at the start. Its just a question of who breaks first.

The gf's cat was the exact same, in and out every hour crying and pawing at a window. I convinced the other half to finally stop responding and he stopped at our window after a week, so now the cat spends every hour waking up her mother who breaks first.

When she isn't there he goes out at 11.30pm back in 20 and out again at 7.30am. That's his routine, you can set your watch to it, the cat sleeps the night. Every now and again he tries his luck with us but we ignore his cry's and he goes away.

myshirt

He just gets louder and louder. I need the sleep, so I give in. If I can get a week where my schedule is not as busy, I'll tackle him that week, because it's going to be a battle. This cat is relentless.

Airyfairy12

myshirt wrote: »

He just gets louder and louder. I need the sleep, so I give in. If I can get a week where my schedule is not as busy, I'll tackle him that week, because it's going to be a battle. This cat is relentless.

Same with my cat, ignoring him doesn't work, he just gets louder and louder, when that doesn't work he sits outside the door of whatever room im in and he cries and cries, he can go for hours.

riffmongous

Can you try earplugs at night? I use them to block out my neighbours dog outside in the mornings

the beer revolu

We came to a decision to exclude our cats from the bedroom after a couple of years of allowing them in. One cat clawed and cried at the door for close to two weeks. After a few days you learn to filter it out and then it stops,eventually.
Now he cries at the door as soon as he hears signs of us awake, rarely before.

my3cents

the beer revolu wrote: »

We came to a decision to exclude our cats from the bedroom after a couple of years of allowing them in. One cat clawed and cried at the door for close to two weeks. After a few days you learn to filter it out and then it stops,eventually.
Now he cries at the door as soon as he hears signs of us awake, rarely before.

Another cat classic, you'd think our cat was being murdered the noise he makes trying to get into the bedroom.

Airyfairy12

my3cents wrote: »

Another cat classic, you'd think our cat was being murdered the noise he makes trying to get into the bedroom.

I know, same with mine, then I feel bad and let him in, he's too cute to say no to.

Cuddlesworth

myshirt wrote: »

He just gets louder and louder. I need the sleep, so I give in. If I can get a week where my schedule is not as busy, I'll tackle him that week, because it's going to be a battle. This cat is relentless.

Airyfairy12 wrote: »

Same with my cat, ignoring him doesn't work, he just gets louder and louder, when that doesn't work he sits outside the door of whatever room im in and he cries and cries, he can go for hours.

I get it but you both broke first. So the next time you try, the cat will go for longer.

MintyMagnum

srsly78 wrote: »

I had a neutered Tom that also loved to have the door opened for him - despite having his own catflap! Just don't perform the doorman service for him, he will eventually use catflap. Or open your window so he can jump in/out of bedroom.

Pretty normal cat behaviour it seems!

Reminds me of the joke: dogs have owners, cats have staff...