Help..I really need advice

Bell1985

Hello Everyone,

I am just looking for a bit of advice regarding 2 problems I have.

I was young and very naive then , now I am 30 and want to move on with my life and have a family but I feel like I cant move on because of all of this , I am so desperate..please help..So I am separated from my ex husband and trying to get a divorce but cannot as he is refusing to make any contact even via solicitors , A Solicitor I cannot afford and have now stopped using, anxiously awaiting the bill I am hoping to try and get an automatic divorce after 7 years which will be next year. Has anyone heard of that?

The second problem is that we own a property together, no one is living there it is in negative equity quiet a bit actually. We drew down a mortgage with PTSB of 206,000.00 in 2009 , interest rates were huge..Anyway I finally left the home in 2012 as I could no longer live there because my ex was there and was becoming very abusive , he was an alcoholic and not very nice after drink. Anyway long story , I left the home and the mortgage has not been paid since early 2012 as I got sick and I have been in and out of temporary jobs since and he is just ignoring the mortgage exists. I am clutching at straws here, I dont have much income and I have huge debts hanging around my neck and I really don't see a way out, I have been speaking to a personal insolvency agency and she has advised of PIA or bankruptcy I really dont know which is best , I don't have much money left over every month and my ex will not communicate , So I have been dealing with the banks on my own, It is so hard doing this on my own and I really don't have a clue.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

Big Bag of Chips

Someone I know in similar circumstances were able to arrange a deal with their local authority where the local authority bought their house from them, paid the bank a reduced amount but the mortgage was then written off and they were allowed to stay in the house renting it.

This was in Dublin, so I'm not sure if it's available everywhere. The criteria for it was that they had to be in receipt of social welfare, ie not working.

It might be worth investigating. In saying that, it has been on going for 3 years now and is still not finalised, but is due to be finalised before Christmas. But no mortgage has been paid in 3 years and interest only was being paid for a time before that.

Talk to the bank.

Mr. Incognito

Have you contacted the bank ?

Bell1985

Hi Big Bag of Chips,

Thanks for the advice and taking the time out to respond.
I cannot live in the house it is not livable as a lot of work has to be done to it, also its near his family home. I have moved nearer to my home which is nearly 2 hours drive from there, also would not feel safe living there in fear he might turn up some night.

But thanks again.

Kind regards

KikiDee

Hi OP,

Have you spoken to MABS? They're quite good not only for budgeting advice but for financial advice. If anything, they could point you in the right direction.

I'd definitely speak to your local council about Bag of Chips post. It's surely worth looking into?

Best of luck OP.

Bell1985

Hi KiKi Dee

Thanks for your response. Again that would not be an option for me as I do not want to live there. I am living back home where I am much safer.

Thanks again

KikiDee

Apologies, I should have clarified, for Bag of Chips friend, they were allowed to live in the house. It might not be mandatory.

Bell1985

Oh ok thanks very much, I will look into it. Thanks again KIKI Dee

Big Bag of Chips

You wouldn't have to live in it. Just in the case of my friend they were allowed stay in it and rent it back from the local authority. If they sold it and moved out it would obviously have been rented to another family.

But, it would have to be habitable in order for the deal to go through because the local authority would be buying it to rent it. If it needs work done for it to be habitable they may well buy it at a lower price and maybe not write off the full debt, but honestly you need to go to the relevant places who can help you make those decisions.

Also, you would have to have the agreement of your husband to sell it.

Bell1985

Hi Bag of Chips

thank you for your help, Yes was just at a loss so said I would ask here first..Yes I know and he will not agree to anything just fed up thats why my only options were PIA or bankruptcy as he will not communicate.

Thanks again

Shint0

I appreciate how difficult your situation must be. If you are in fear of your husband you could apply for a protection or safety order although this is something I never had to do in my case. I can't really offer much advice on your housing or financial situation as I am in the fortunate position of being financially independent and own my own home which I completely renovated and lucky there is no legal challenge as it would be a bit heartbreaking to sell it after investing so much it. So it makes things much simpler in having a clean break. Hope you manage to find a working solution to resolve the issue.

Owryan

Afaik there is no such thing as an "automatic divorce".

Divorce in Ireland requires you fulfill 3 criteria: separated 4 out of 5 previous years, has to be no likelihood of reconciliation and provision made for care of children or other spouse.

You can get a diy divorce if you meet the requirements, but if hubby refuses to engage you may need legal advise which you could apply for through flac. I can't remember all the details but there have been divorces granted despite one side not engaging with the system.

nikkibikki

Use a debt management company. They look at your income and expenses and work out what you can realistically afford. They deal with the banks. Best thing we ever did was use one, reduced our stress massively.

Bell1985

hi Shint0,

Thanks very much for responding, I had a safety order at the start but i moved away and I could only have the safety order for a few weeks and at the time could not afford a barring order so left it drop.. I am living far away from him so no need but thanks for your advice.

Bell1985

hi Owryan

Oh ok someone said it to me once maybe not then, Yes I will be applying to Flac thanks.

Bell1985

Hi nikkibikki

Yes I got in contact with Step change charity and they put me in contact with grant thorton, I am just confused at the minute , I am just waiting as they are quiet busy so its a process and trying to put my mind at ease, so just wanted to know if anyone had any ideas.

Thanks again