When is it too old to have a baby?

Musketeer4

MRnotlob606 wrote: »

My mother left me before I was born

Like Trigger telling Del Boy about his father - he'd never known his dad, he died a couple of years before he was born!!:pac:

HS3

I'm 40 and would love one more, but I dont have the energy for the sleepless nights all over again. I see a lot of people my age are announcing pregnancies and births which I find surprising. I felt old having the second at 35.

If I was younger I would definitely go one more. But having said that, it's nice to be walking out the door without having to sniff a butt or clear up puke

So, OP, my answer is, it depends on the person. If they think they're able for it all, fair play.

learn_more

Reminds me what Christian zealots say about sex being for procreation. Would they say there is an age limit to having a baby which would infer no one should have sex over say 45.

Galwayguy35

seenitall wrote: »

I think you mean egg donation, not implantation.

It is no more or less right or ethical than men in their 50s or 60s having babies. Yet no one seems to care about that so much, do they ? The same way you often find Ulrika Jonsson or Sinead O'Connor being called 4-by-4s (well at least a friend of mind did, and he didn't lick it off a stone) but I have never heard or read of Rod Stewart or Mick Jagger being called 7-by-4 or 8-by-5 or whatever number they're on at this stage!

Attitudes to reproduction, same as ones to sex, are still riddled with double standards.

Not always, Mel Gibson is having strips torn off him since the news came out that he's going to be a father again.

boardsuser1

HS3 wrote: »

I'm 40 and would love one more, but I dont have the energy for the sleepless nights all over again. I see a lot of people my age are announcing pregnancies and births which I find surprising. I felt old having the second at 35.

If I was younger I would definitely go one more. But having said that, it's nice to be walking out the door without having to sniff a butt or clear up puke

So, OP, my answer is, it depends on the person. If they think they're able for it all, fair play.

i'm 6 weeks into life as a father of 4 after a gap of 4 and a half years, I wish I didn't leave a gap so big.

When I consider that I became a dad 3 times in 4 years prior to this. the mrs now wants to repeat that trend, no more big gaps. my eyes are hanging out of my head going to work after the night feeds (we take turns of course!) as we are getting back into the swing of it all.

HS3

KC161 wrote: »

HS3 wrote: »

I'm 40 and would love one more, but I dont have the energy for the sleepless nights all over again. I see a lot of people my age are announcing pregnancies and births which I find surprising. I felt old having the second at 35.

If I was younger I would definitely go one more. But having said that, it's nice to be walking out the door without having to sniff a butt or clear up puke

So, OP, my answer is, it depends on the person. If they think they're able for it all, fair play.

i'm 6 weeks into life as a father of 4 after a gap of 4 and a half years, I wish I didn't leave a gap so big.

When I consider that I became a dad 3 times in 4 years prior to this. the mrs now wants to repeat that trend, no more big gaps. my eyes are hanging out of my head going to work after the night feeds (we take turns of course!) as we are getting back into the swing of it all.

Congratulations! Though you've just confirmed my fears I couldn't do the night feeds again. I'm too old and have got used to my sleep again!

HS3

KC161 wrote: »

HS3 wrote: »

I'm 40 and would love one more, but I dont have the energy for the sleepless nights all over again. I see a lot of people my age are announcing pregnancies and births which I find surprising. I felt old having the second at 35.

If I was younger I would definitely go one more. But having said that, it's nice to be walking out the door without having to sniff a butt or clear up puke

So, OP, my answer is, it depends on the person. If they think they're able for it all, fair play.

i'm 6 weeks into life as a father of 4 after a gap of 4 and a half years, I wish I didn't leave a gap so big.

When I consider that I became a dad 3 times in 4 years prior to this. the mrs now wants to repeat that trend, no more big gaps. my eyes are hanging out of my head going to work after the night feeds (we take turns of course!) as we are getting back into the swing of it all.

Congratulations! Though you've just confirmed my fears I couldn't do the night feeds again. I'm too old and have got used to my sleep again!

Holograph

People say "Don't judge" but of course people can have an opinion on whether it is ideal or not for a person to have a child late in life. Of course there is a stage when it becomes less than ideal and when it is too old. I think people seem to be straining to look open-minded but it is not nasty simply to express a view that after early 40s may not be ideal for a woman to start a family, with the health risks and the fact that she will be in her mid 60s when her child is 20. People say a child can be born disabled to a mother of any age, and a parent could die or succumb to an energy-sapping illness young, etc, but why use the rarities as a way of justifying taking much more likely risks?

At the same time though, an older couple I know (he was nearly 50 and she was nearly 41 when they became first-time parents) are able to give their children a fantastic life, having well established and secure careers, and they are both in great health and seem a lot younger than they are, and they seem like brilliant parents. It's true that health and fitness won't cancel out the ageing process but it helps to slow it down though, and helps to counter-act the more debilitating aspects. But you are just not going to have the same level of energy for looking after young children in your 40s/50s.

It's a bit of a double-edged one - people like them deserve a family (much moreso than many who are a lot younger) but the stats for birth defects are undeniable (ok it's not a guarantee but it is still a risk) and their children will lose their parents to old age a lot sooner than most. People here have mentioned the pitfalls of having older parents.

HS3

HS3 wrote: »

I'm 40 and would love one more, but I dont have the energy for the sleepless nights all over again. I see a lot of people my age are announcing pregnancies and births which I find surprising. I felt old having the second at 35.

That I will be fathering my next two in my 40s never really worried me from an energy perspective. But having had a short but spectacular break down of sorts recently - because I was not just burning the candle at both ends so much as dicing it into bits and burning all the bits at both ends - it has occurred to me to consider it.

But I think it will be fine - as long as I can usefully cut back on _some_ of the too many things I have been invested in over the last decade. Picking and choosing has proven problematic however.

philstar

Mick Jagger became a dad again yesterday at the age of 73,

great news for him....but not so great for his child...imagine it being a teenager and your dad of 90 comes to pick you up, cringey!

tupenny

philstar wrote: »

Mick Jagger became a dad again yesterday at the age of 73,

great news for him....but not so great for his child...imagine it being a teenager and your dad of 90 comes to pick you up, cringey!

But he's mick jagger

Jimbob1977

philstar wrote: »

Mick Jagger became a dad again yesterday at the age of 73,

great news for him....but not so great for his child...imagine it being a teenager and your dad of 90 comes to pick you up, cringey!

But he will still have the moves like Jagger

DEFTLEFTHAND

Men are naturally inclined to reproduce with females who are at their sexual peak, 18-35.

Nature dictates that this time offers the best chance of avoiding any complications in a pregnancy.

mzungu

philstar wrote: »

Mick Jagger became a dad again yesterday at the age of 73,

great news for him....but not so great for his child...imagine it being a teenager and your dad of 90 comes to pick you up, cringey!

I dunno. I mean, how many of the other dads will have gifted the world such classics like Exile of Main Street, Their Satanic Majesties Request, Let it Bleed, Aftermath, Sticky Fingers, Beggars Banquet, Some Girls, Between The Buttons and Goats Head Soup?

'Tis safe to say that Mick will be immune from the cringe factor, even at 90. I fully expect that the Stones will most likely still be touring at that stage.

Skommando

If you can have them in your early 20's you have a better chance of having them, and a better chance of both mother and child remaining healthy.
That's not possible for everyone, but despite the pressures on women today to keep putting it off, and being told by society they should put it off, and put their careers first, don't underestimate how much harder it is for women in their late 20's, 30's never mind 40's to successfully have kids. Even just a year or two can make a big difference. If you don't have to wait, don't put it off.

DEFTLEFTHAND

It's why certain men 'trade in' when the missus gets old. Men like women at their peak because nature dictates that they feel this way. Even if they don't intend to reproduce with them.

Yes you will have certain sexual fetishes which deviate from the norm like the MILF culture, granny porn etc.

Exceptions to the rule of nature.

PucaMama

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

It's why certain men 'trade in' when the missus gets old. Men like women at their peak because nature dictates that they feel this way. Even if they don't intend to reproduce with them.

Yes you will have certain sexual fetishes which deviate from the norm like the MILF culture, granny porn etc.

Exceptions to the rule of nature.

Do you think that every man with a woman his own age once he hits 40 should be "trading in". Because that's just an excuse to chase young women.

Jimbob1977

Jimbob1977 wrote: »

But he will still have the moves like Jagger

No, he'll have the moves like wheelchair.

DEFTLEFTHAND

PucaMama wrote: »

Do you think that every man with a woman his own age once he hits 40 should be "trading in". Because that's just an excuse to chase young women.

I mean in a pure mammal sense. The human is the only mammal who developed the concept of love. A male lion doesn't love the lioness he services, he does it because he's naturally programmed to seek out and copulate with a young viral female, to ensure the survival of his breed.

Basic instinct.

Skommando

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

I mean in a pure mammal sense. The human is the only mammal who developed the concept of love. A male lion doesn't love the lioness he services, he does it because he's naturally programmed to seek out and copulate with a young viral female, to ensure the survival of his breed.

Basic instinct.

The 'we're all just animals mantra' ? No, we're not just animals.

DEFTLEFTHAND

Skommando wrote: »

The 'we're all just animals mantra' ? No, we're not just animals.

Yes we're highly evolved but we still share some of the instincts of other mammals.

That's how we've thrived throughout our existence.

PucaMama

You can't compare an older man wanting a younger woman to a male lion and his pride, because men who chase younger women have no interest in reproducing they only want to lie to themselves thinking they are young again.

PucaMama

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

Yes we're highly evolved but we still share some of the instincts of other mammals.

That's how we've thrived throughout our existence.

Funny that doesn't apply when women look for taller or fitter men. Or for men with better jobs (better for supporting family). Then its women using men.

PucaMama

Ghost Pepper wrote: »

Such nonsense, men want to fukc young women because young women are sexier, it's as simple as that. Young again, did you ever hear such tripe.

Your only annoyed because it's true. Look at older women after younger men. Same thing. They want to kid themselves they are young again.

Tigger

PucaMama wrote: »

Your only annoyed because it's true. Look at older women after younger men. Same thing. They want to kid themselves they are young again.

still young not young again
but yeah your right we never grow up

DEFTLEFTHAND

PucaMama wrote: »

Funny that doesn't apply when women look for taller or fitter men. Or for men with better jobs (better for supporting family). Then its women using men.

No, it's nature in practice.

Women chose to mate with men of good genetics and resources (resources oftentimes override genes)

This goes all the way back to the hunter-gatherer period. Every woman in the tribe wanted the best hunter to provide for her and her children. It gave the kids the best chance of surviving and growing into adulthood.

LETHAL LADY

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

It's why certain men 'trade in' when the missus gets old. Men like women at their peak because nature dictates that they feel this way. Even if they don't intend to reproduce with them.

Yes you will have certain sexual fetishes which deviate from the norm like the MILF culture, granny porn etc.

Exceptions to the rule of nature.

While I agree we can all appreciate youth and good looks :-) I think you'll find that in reality most women in their "peak" prefer men in their peak also.

I recall being in that age group and the vast majority of my friends wouldn't give a second glance to a man much older than them.

Now that's not to say it doesn't happen, but it certainly was a rarity.

andekwarhola

Personally I think leaving it until early 40s and after is pushing it but then life isn't simple and sometimes things don't happen on schedule.

we'llallhavetea

i think have babies before whatever age it is that the chances of having a downs syndrome are higher than average because no one wants to have a diasbled child.

previous user

If your a woman 25, if your a man bout 73, for woman after 25 they become hunchbacked and grow talons.

LETHAL LADY

previous user wrote: »

If your a woman 25, if your a man bout 73, for woman after 25 they become hunchbacked and grow talons.

And they smell rotten too! :-)

Surreptitious

previous user wrote: »

If your a woman 25, if your a man bout 73, for woman after 25 they become hunchbacked and grow talons.

And they name him 'Damien'.

screamer

Young enough so that when you're called in for parent teacher meetings to the kids secondary school you're not mistaken for their grandparent!