Bad behaviour in kindergarden child

Cunning Stunt

Hi all,
Our little guy has been in kindergarden for 2 months or so and the past week or so we are getting reports of him hitting or biting other kids - not every day but every other day. This horrifies me, as he never used to bite and doesn't do it at home.
Also, they say he laughs when he is misbehaving or when he has done something wrong and I think that is really getting to them, because at least 3 of them have mentioned the laughing to me now. He does this at home too, and I think he does it because he gets nervous and knows he's in trouble.
They say he might hit someone, then immediately laugh and apologise...

Some of the kindergaden folk have said that it's normal for his age (he'll be 3 at xmas), but the next day I might get another report of something, so I don't know what to think here...I am blue in the face telling him to be nice in kindergarden and not to hit or bite.

Have any of you been there and do you h ave any advice? Should I be worried?


Thanks

LegacyUser

My little girl is(was) a hitter, on the heads of other kids. The one thing I eventually worked out was that the bigger the deal made out of it, the more she was likely to do it. I mean initially I could see when she was doing it (she was just 2) it was a communication thing - she was overtired, frustrated or just had too many people in her face and didn't know what to do when things weren't going her way. But the more I said it, the more it happened. Like you I was blue in the face. I tried everything - warnings before we went places, leaving a place when she did it, trying time out, everything. Then I realised when we went somewhere, and drove home afterwards, all she would talk about was how she hit XX (she has quite good language). That was the whole event in her head, the sum total of her visit to wherever. So I stopped talking about it. I used to say "yes you did, but that was silly. Now didn't you do great playing/running whatever? And weren't the cakes nice?" etc, focusing on the good stuff and emphasising the good stuff as being the thing that gets attention - not the hitting.

I did also buy a book online called Hands are not for Hitting, but actually, she was beginning to move out of the hitting phase by then.

I seem to remember you saying recently your little guy isn't long in kindergarten?? Maybe this is just it - he's discovered a new skill in this new place and look, it gets loads of attention!! It's a hard one I know, to emphasise that it's not right, without making a big deal out of it. But try to stick with emphasising the fun stuff he did and the good behaviour he showed and downplay the hitting as much as possible. This too shall pass.

For what it's worth, we have now moved on to pushing here (and I know exactly where she saw it happening for the first time too!!). It never ends.