Co-workers bitching about me

northgirl

Working in an office with 2 others who are always bitching about pretty much everyone every day so in an overall sense not surprise at what's happened but still really upset about this.

Recently I've been under huge pressure at work in terms of workload and have had problems addressing this with my line manager. None of this directly impacts the aforementioned co-workers however I overheard them today discussing me and how stressed I am during which I was badmouthed and bitched about unmercifully. This included speaking about me in a derogatory manner and some name calling. I'm struggling at work as it is and working to the best of my ability and now dreading work tomorrow and going forward.

I know I have to keep the bright side out here but I am really finding this hard to deal with

WhoWhatWhere

Have a chat with HR? This kind of thing is usually mouthy people who have nothing better to do. Confronting them would be the worst thing to do, but definitely speaking to HR or your Manager is a great idea.

stinkle

Have you a dignity and respect policy in work? HR would know, and name calling definitely violates that.

I'm sorry to hear you're struggling, work can be tough enough without dealing with childishness like that. Look after yourself first and foremost.

northgirl

WhoWhatWhere wrote: »

Have a chat with HR? This kind of thing is usually mouthy people who have nothing better to do. Confronting them would be the worst thing to do, but definitely speaking to HR or your Manager is a great idea.

stinkle wrote: »

Have you a dignity and respect policy in work? HR would know, and name calling definitely violates that.

I'm sorry to hear you're struggling, work can be tough enough without dealing with childishness like that. Look after yourself first and foremost.

Thanks for the replies We do have a policy which recommends the first approach should be to speak to the persons involved. I work in very close quarters with these colleagues and I definitely don't think it's a solution.

I will keep a record of the encounter and hope that I don't have a repeat. At least one I overhear. Head down and work I think. Thanks again.

Wanderer2010

This is where HR are absolutely useless I'm afraid to say OP. They will not in most cases start any kind of grievance or investigation until you go and have an"informal" chat with the people, or bullies, calling you names. With people who have had their self esteem or confidence knocked by name calling its impossible to reach a strong enough mental state to confront someone and HR know this therefore they hope you just forget about it, there should be some law against having to do the informal process if your not up to it.

I advise you tell your manager about it and ask him/her for advice. Also maybe mention to him you are contacting a solicitor about employment advice, that might convince them and HR you are serious. Good luck.

Mrs OBumble

Wanderer2010 wrote: »

This is where HR are absolutely useless I'm afraid to say OP. They will not in most cases start any kind of grievance or investigation until you go and have an"informal" chat with the people, or bullies, calling you names. With people who have had their self esteem or confidence knocked by name calling its impossible to reach a strong enough mental state to confront someone and HR know this therefore they hope you just forget about it, there should be some law against having to do the informal process if your not up to it.

If it's so bad that the person on the receiving end is that affected, management and HR should both have noticed it and acted on it a long time ago.

The informal process is for situations where it's a relatively trivial issue, best sorted out directly between the parities. It's the same as with neighbourhood disputes - it's always best to talk to your neighbours directly, before ringing the council.

But HR (like the council) know that sometimes you cannot do that - and if you tell them so, they will start the formal process.

However it's not going to be pretty: once people are adult, if they are bitches they are likely to stay bitches no matter what anyone says or does. Management and HR can lay down and enforce the law about workplace-appropriate behaviour, and that applies in work or in work events. But they cannot control behaviour in the supermarket, GAA club, whatever, unless it's so bad that it affects the company's reputation. And they cannot control what people think, or say outside of work.