Disappointed with my own sexual performance

LegacyUser

looking for some advice - I'm young 30's and I've had a few long term girlfriends and have never had a problem in the bedroom, with some great compliments and seemingly genuine feedback on being great sex etc.

I've always been a bit self conscious about my body as I'm not toned and have carried a little bit of a belly since my teen years that's been hard to budge and also a sweet pair of moobs that I'm more self conscious about than the belly :D Lately too I've started thinking my package might be a bit small and not enjoyable enough. I'm 6ft and I'm 5 and a half inches down below from the skin on my pubic bone (bit of excess fat on that too) to the tip of the head. I know this is considered average, girth is average enough too, but maybe I've just been watching too much porn and seeing what some guys have :shock:

I've sometimes had trouble in the past at the start of a relationship getting and staying hard. I get hard pretty easy, but once it comes to taking off clothes and about to do the deed, I can lose it and then start cursing myself and it completely ruins the mood. As I've gotten to know the girls better, it's never remained a problem and I'd be able to perform at the drop of a hat. The last long term gf I had, we had a great sex life and I think I may have gone soft on her once or twice at the very very beginning but for the 2 years or so I was with her, it was never a problem after that and we had sex a lot.

after breaking up with her 3 years ago, I've slept with more than a handful of other girls, some I'd been seeing on and off for a few weeks/months and others very short term.

My performance between the girls has varied quite a lot, some I've been confident and gave them a good time (some said the best ever and one was the oldest and maybe one of the most experienced), then the worst was one girl and we must have tried 5/6 times and I only managed to keep it hard and perform once, but it wasn't great, she said she would always need lube as she didn't really get wet.

A lot of it is down to how much I think they are enjoying it, the more I see they are enjoying it, the harder I get, but then this leads to another problem, that the more I see they enjoy it, the easier I can come, so it's often a case where I see they are getting closer and closer to orgasm but I can't contain my own excitement and come just before they climax so it can go from not being able to get hard, to coming too soon when it matters, I mean I can last 20/30 minutes no problem but then the time just before I come, I come just that bit too soon.

Girl I've been seeing lately I've had ups and downs with, she came over last night dressed in lingerie and again, hard to begin with but then I got soft when it got to performance time, then I got myself hard again and was doing ok, but then I got sensitive and actually came a little once or twice during sex, without properly coming, and then when I finally came, I felt like I could come by not even moving it but it's not like I was rock hard, it was just kinda difficult to move it without coming and it could have gone either way that I could have completely lost the erection or just come without moving inside her at all.

I think I've become a little more self conscious with this girl as I know she's been with a LOT of guys before me, she's crazy about me and I know this for sure, but in terms of the sex, I'm not sure how much I'm satisfying her and I'm quite often thinking maybe she'd prefer someone with a better body and a bigger dick as she would have had that before for sure.

I've put on a bit of weight recently and I'm thinking this may have a part to play as my confidence in general lately is a little low due to the weight gain, I'm 10/15kg more than I should be, maybe not loads, but enough to affect how I feel about myslef and how I think others feel about me.

just looking for any comments or advice please

Musketeer4

If you are carrying a big bf% then it is possible that it will cause your tesosterone levels to diminish. Maybe you could reverse that and improve your body image by adopting a healthier lifestyle.

Can you describe your current diet and exercise to us?

You can start doing HIIT and lifing heavy in the gym and that will help you twofold. Firstly it will improve your body and consequently solve the body image issues and secondly increase your testosterone levels meaning you will have increased performance at sex.

Permabear

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