I got colleagues suspended for rating women in the office

mansize

Renegade Mechanic wrote: »

Look lads and lassies, it's a fact of life yer just going to have to toughen up and accept

Good looking people will be talked about behind their backs. Ugly people will be sniggered at.
I expect I've been joked about plenty behind my own back, given the material people working with me would have to work with.

Oh, my poor feelings, someone thinks I look like a demented 80 year olds ball sack and wouldn't "score" in a brothel if I walked in with a million euros stuck to my micropenis, booooo hoooooo where's the nearest solicitor? :rolleyes:

The smart thing to do when "overhearing" a conversation is mind your own business, unless is concerns something important like framing someone to get them fired or something.
You know, something actually important...

People are going to talk about people and sometimes it's not going to be nice.
You will never, ever change that.
But go ahead and ruin your lives trying.

thats what people who are comfortable with the status quo say

anewme

anewme wrote: »

And this too shall pass..............

This is just a moment in time. Workplace situations don't stay the same for long. cliques break overnight.

Op just needs to hold her her nerve.

Just be professional, normal, open.

People will forget why they are supposed to blank OP.

As soon as the less toxic atmosphere becomes apparent, it'll ease up and I suspect in time more than a few people will thank her quietly.

swampgas

Renegade Mechanic wrote: »

Look lads and lassies, it's a fact of life yer just going to have to toughen up and accept

Yep, some people are going to have to toughen up and accept that some of their "banter" isn't acceptable in the workplace any more. Boo hoo, cry me a river

Renegade Mechanic

mansize wrote: »

thats what people who are comfortable with the status quo say

If the "status quo" is earning a living and not making mountains out of molehills and getting on with stuff then absolutely..

Men and women are coming out of college with their brains washed into thinking everything is fluffy and nice, and they're coming up against men and women who've had the chance to be taught and jaded by 15 years or more experience with how the real world works.
College has a lot to answer for.

Grayson

I still can't believe that people believe that sort of behaviour is acceptable in an office. How stupid do you have to be to say that stuff. It should be a fireable offence if only because it shows a complete lack of intelligence.

allthedoyles

Its not banter if its taken seriously and every human have different levels of a sense of humour .

Dr Jakub

Enjoy being the office pariah op, you deserve it. Nobody wants to hang around you now in case they say something you find offensive and you run off to the teacher again.

Widdershins

I honestly don't know what to think, OP. Fair play to you for having the heart to stick up for the women, I think it's a good thing that that was your first instinct,but on the other hand they were not breaking the law by making ribald comments and taking it to the employers seems a bit severe and nanny-state-esque..

It will blow over sooner or later..maybe you need to decide if you want people to feel afraid to speak uninhibitedly around you, or if it's worth it.

Renegade Mechanic

swampgas wrote: »

Yep, some people are going to have to toughen up and accept that some of their "banter" isn't acceptable in the workplace any more. Boo hoo, cry me a river

Cry me a bigger one, matey, because I'll be bantering away with people who have better hides than mine until I hit the dirt with my middle finger outstretched

Specialun

I hate when irish people say banter. OP should be suspened just for that

Dr Jakub

Grayson wrote: »

I still can't believe that people believe that sort of behaviour is acceptable in an office. How stupid do you have to be to say that stuff. It should be a fireable offence if only because it shows a complete lack of intelligence.

Yeah because I'm sure you'd want women fired for commenting on their male co workers :rolleyes:

clairewithani

Dr Jakub wrote: »

Enjoy being the office pariah op, you deserve it. Nobody wants to hang around you now in case they say something you find offensive and you run off to the teacher again.

Sounds like what bullies say to people who try to stop them being mean.

uck51js9zml2yt

Cornelius Crow wrote: »

Snitches get stitches

Please explain?

mansize

Renegade Mechanic wrote: »

If the "status quo" is earning a living and not making mountains out of molehills and getting on with stuff then absolutely..

Men and women are coming out of college with their brains washed into thinking everything is fluffy and nice, and they're coming up against men and women who've had the chance to be taught and jaded by 15 years or more experience with how the real world works.
College has a lot to answer for.

You don't RATE people in the workplace!!!! Remember what happened with that Big 4 Company???

mansize

Dr Jakub wrote: »

Yeah because I'm sure you'd want women fired for commenting on their male co workers :rolleyes:

Rating them sexually?? Yes.

mansize

Renegade Mechanic wrote: »

Cry me a bigger one, matey, because I'll be bantering away with people who have better hides than mine until I hit the dirt with my middle finger outstretched

Sure :rolleyes:

Renegade Mechanic

mansize wrote: »

You don't RATE people in the workplace!!!! Remember what happened with that Big $ Company???

Yes people do, and as long as things like Testosterone and Estrogen exist, Men and Women will rate each other. Nothings going to change that. Idiots will get caught, but just be aware that they're the tip of the iceberg

Banter is too often used as a disguise for harassment, and accusing people of not being able to take a joke is a tactic often employed by the bully.

Deub

wakka12 wrote: »

Well if you have no personality sure then the only things to talk about are the weather and how physical attractiveness of other employees

Just to be clear: i don't do this type of comments. I am not into weather.

More seriously, the guys should have made sure no one could hear them. However reporting it to the mangement was a step too far.

mansize

Renegade Mechanic wrote: »

Yes people do, and as long as things like Testosterone and Estrogen exist, Men and Women will rate each other. Nothings going to change that. Idiots will get caught, but just be aware that they're the tip of the iceberg

Not out loud, not written down, and NOT IN THE WORKPLACE

mansize

Deub wrote: »

Just to be clear: i don't do this type of comments. I am not into weather.

More seriously, the guys should have made sure no one could hear them. However reporting it to the mangement was a step too far.

Why?

Dr Jakub

Richard Hillman wrote: »

Agreed. Sounds like a click bait journalist looking for material.

Thinking the same now. It's like all those Facebook posts that have been appearing since Trump won:

"I'm literally shaking right now. I found my eight year old daughter in tears. I asked what's wrong and she said 'momma I'm scared Muslims and LGBTQA people are going to be made sit on the back of the bus in Trump's America'"

1 like = 1 prayer

#thingsthatdidn'thappen

Stigura

Jesus f**king wept! No Way am I reading eighteen pages of this sh!t.

OP; You were outraged on behalf of others who were blissfully unaware of what was happening, somewhere in the big wide world.

It 'triggered' you and off ye went.

Well; Now the rest of the people are allowing ye ye own little 'Safe Space'.

Cool. Be grateful.

Out.

IamtheWalrus

I'm amazed at the abuse the OP is getting. No one should have to listen to that language in their workplace, factory or office. That's what the pub is for. This is 2016, you can't get away with that stuff anymore and I'd question the intelligence level of someone who thinks they can and should.

anewme

Renegade Mechanic wrote: »

If the "status quo" is earning a living and not making mountains out of molehills and getting on with stuff then absolutely..

Men and women are coming out of college with their brains washed into thinking everything is fluffy and nice, and they're coming up against men and women who've had the chance to be taught and jaded by 15 years or more experience with how the real world works.
College has a lot to answer for.

I'm in an office environment 30 years this week as it happens, so no college newbie.

This type of crap went out with the page 3 girls.

Op is in no way making mountains out of molehills.

Not acceptable behaviour in an office

Renegade Mechanic

mansize wrote: »

Not out loud

Indeed, don't go leaning out of the cubicle, and roaring at Tracey that youd like to have missionary intercourse for the purpose of procreation with her. It would of course make things a little awkward.

mansize wrote: »

not written down

Well now passing Tracey a note with the above written on it is just asking for trouble. She could be happily married!

mansize wrote: »

and NOT IN THE WORKPLACE

LOL....

Dr Jakub

mansize wrote: »

Not out loud, not written down, and NOT IN THE WORKPLACE

Ok let's all just be robots and never make comments about the opposite sex.

And like **** you'd want women fired for talking about men in the office.

anewme

Deub wrote: »

the guys should have made sure no one could hear them

Maybe the guys should not have said it at all in the office?

Grayson

Dr Jakub wrote: »

Yeah because I'm sure you'd want women fired for commenting on their male co workers :rolleyes:

If they were lewd enough. I've worked in a big office, people talk but there's a line that shouldn't be crossed. You don't get graphic when talking about coworkers. If you're not sure if what you're about to say crosses the line, then don't say it. It's not hard. Pretty much everyone else gets it.

Deub

mansize wrote: »

Why?

For the reason, the OP opened this thread. Like many people already said, if you have issues with your colleague conversation, let them know that you won't accept it anymore and if it continues you will report them.
The same way if my neighbour is listening loud music at 2am, I would ask him to turn it down before calling the garda.

Dr Jakub

Grayson wrote: »

If they were lewd enough. I've worked in a big office, people talk but there's a liner that shouldn't be crosses. You don't get graphic when talking about coworkers. There's a line. If you're not sure if what you're about to say crosses the line, then don't say it. It's not hard. Pretty much everyone else gets it.

Forgive me for not believing you. And you'd be a total **** for getting a woman fired for talking about her male co-workers.

SterlingArcher

If they posted this list up for all to see and embarrassed someone sure go nuts.

You overhead a conversation. Acted on it.
You cannot be trusted to mind your business. You have no problem risking other peoples livelihoods so you can be the bigger person. Well done. I can not say anyone is really surprised nobody wants to be around you now.

Have a nice day.

PS the higher ups have discussed this. And probably went like this. One of the girls put in a complaint about the guys being sexist. Which girl. Ah you know the one with a face like Gordon Ramsay s ball sac.

mansize

Dr Jakub wrote: »

Ok let's all just be robots and never make comments about the opposite sex.

And like **** you'd want women fired for talking about men in the office.

I cannot rate men in the office

Hetero males and lesbians can't rate women

Gays and straight women can't rate men

Bisexuals can't rate anyone

It's quite simple really.

It's a working environment

bpmurray

Widdershins wrote: »

I honestly don't know what to think, OP. Fair play to you for having the heart to stick up for the women, I think it's a good thing that that was your first instinct,but on the other hand they were not breaking the law by making ribald comments and taking it to the employers seems a bit severe and nanny-state-esque..

It will blow over sooner or later..maybe you need to decide if you want people to feel afraid to speak uninhibitedly around you, or if it's worth it.

Actually, they were - it's called sexual harassment and it's illegal.

Woodhenge

I think it's probably best to start looking for a new job to be honest. I bet a couple of women in HR were on the phone saying 'that is extremely inappropriate, thank you for bringing it to our attention' then hung up saying 'ah feck it, now you'll have to suspend Bill and him your no strings an' all'.

Management will pay lip service to the company policy but in the back of their minds they will now know that when the company's back is truly against the wall and a tough strategy has to be taken the OP will not be the kind of person they can rely on to hold the line and keep the company message. They paddle their own ethical canoe.

The OP should have dealt with it in the spirit of the team they work with, be lighthearted or be upfront and strong, just something like 'lads I'm having you sent to gender sensitivity re-education camp if you don't knock that off' or 'slow down lads I can't keep up with my notes'.

Another route would be to talk to other members of the team and find out if they are actually the group pariahs and then make a complaint. It's clear from the reaction of the others they are not the team that share your sensitivities though so I think getting out is the best way forward.

mansize

Deub wrote: »

For the reason, the OP opened this thread. Like many people already said, if you have issues with your colleague conversation, let them know that you won't accept it anymore and if it continues you will report them.
The same way if my neighbour is listening loud music at 2am, I would ask him to turn it down before calling the garda.

The OP did address her complaint to them initially if you read it

anewme

Deub wrote: »

For the reason, the OP opened this thread. Like many people already said, if you have issues with your colleague conversation, let them know that you won't accept it anymore and if it continues you will report them.
The same way if my neighbour is listening loud music at 2am, I would ask him to turn it down before calling the garda.

It's not clear if Op has already spoken to them and asked them to tone it down.

If they keep it up after being told to quit, she should report it.

Dr Jakub

Dr Jakub wrote: »

Ok let's all just be robots and never make comments about the opposite sex.

And like **** you'd want women fired for talking about men in the office.

The workplace is not the place for it. By all means continue to admire the opposite sex (or same sex if its your preference) but be mindful of the fact that some people just want to go in and do a job to the best of their ability without hassle may not want to be sleazily objectified whether in earshot or not. Would you like your daughter to have to endure it? Or your wife? Your mother? Sister? Niece? Aunt?

Dr Jakub

mansize wrote: »

I cannot rate men in the office

Hetero males and lesbians can't rate women

Gays and straight women can't rate men

Bisexuals can't rate anyone

It's quite simple really.

It's a working environment

Not everyone is an asexual robot like you.

Grayson

Dr Jakub wrote: »

Forgive me for not believing you. And you'd be a total **** for getting a woman fired for talking about her male co-workers.

Forgive you for calling me a liar? Fcuk off.

And yes I would complain if it crossed a line. No-one is saying you can't talk about a coworker.

Renegade Mechanic

anewme wrote: »

I'm in an office environment 30 years this week as it happens, so no college newbie.

This type of crap went out with the page 3 girls.

Op is in no way making mountains out of molehills.

Not acceptable behaviour in an office

Ah yes, the demise of the page 3 girl.. Never interested me personally, wasn't my kind of thing, but I'd be the last to deny anyone who enjoyed it, and I'm sure the hundred and fifty quid an hour p3 girls were making was just killing them inside with all that patriarchy... :rolleyes:

But I didn't see a point in all the celebration at it's demise when it was replaced as instantly as it was removed by, well, the internet, which more people have easy pocket access to now, than ever pick up a paper, but hey, fight the good fight...

Anyway, I see no mention there that you've never seen or heard it happen. I think deep down you know it does, regularly.

mansize

Dr Jakub wrote: »

Not everyone is an asexual robot like you.

I'm far from asexual, I know the time and the place. Its simple really.

A woman is subjected to colleagues making disrespectful 'cruel' comments about some women in work, and sexist and demeaning comments about others, so she does the correct thing and reports them for behaving grossly inappropriately in work - and she's painted as being the one with the problem.

Stay classy, AH.

Renegade Mechanic

mansize wrote: »

I cannot rate men in the office

Hetero males and lesbians can't rate women

Gays and straight women can't rate men

Bisexuals can't rate anyone

It's quite simple really.

It's a working environment

Beep... boop....

J Mysterio

Standard enough spread in my section of the office. Two 8's and a 7 anyway.. There's a couple of 9's that pass by ocassionly and that is always an event.

mansize

Renegade Mechanic wrote: »

Beep... boop....

Is that the sound of the synthetic potato being added to the ready meal on the production line you work on???

Widdershins

bpmurray wrote: »

Actually, they were - it's called sexual harassment and it's illegal.

Is it? Talking about the women rather than to them? I didn't know that.

mansize

Widdershins wrote: »

Is it? Talking about the women rather than to them? I didn't know that.

Well now you know

anewme

Renegade Mechanic wrote: »

Ah yes, the demise of the page 3 girl.. Never interested me personally, wasn't my kind of thing, but I'd be the last to deny anyone who enjoyed it, and I'm sure the hundred and fifty quid an hour p3 girls were making was just killing them inside with all that patriarchy... :rolleyes:

But I didn't see a point in all the celebration at it's demise when it was replaced as instantly as it was removed by, well, the internet, which more people have easy pocket access to now, than ever pick up a paper, but hey, fight the good fight...

Anyway, I see no mention there that you've never seen or heard it happen. I think deep down you know it does, regularly.

Would not be tolerated where I am and I work in a male dominated industry - we had a guy who was watching porn on his computer, someone reported him to IT, he was watching porn while the rest of us had to work.

He was immediately dismissed

Dr Jakub

Dr Jakub wrote: »

Not everyone is an asexual robot like you.

There is a difference between being attracted to some one who you happen to work with and then discussing the size of her rack with your male colleague beside you. Can you not see this? If it was a genuine private conversation that the OP accidentally heard that was very discreet and not for anyone else's ears then fair enough id understand if people were disgusted with the OP because in that case it wouldnt be her business.

It seems however that these lads were quite open about their 'desires' which risked to and therefore offended people. they are grown men and should have had a bit more cop on. I hope they dont get fired because there may be dependent affected if they lose their job but the OP is not the wrong one here. The company hung her out to dry