I got colleagues suspended for rating women in the office

Bongalongherb

After hours, it's like the muppet show, but just for muppets You people make me laugh. The two old guy's up on the podium giving it loads, thinking they are real men, but all in all they are just little skinny nerds.

Have some respect for the lassies, because most of you little dribblers here haven't a clue. Enjoy your sock, it's all you have left in life.

Flint Fredstone

Bongalongherb wrote: »

Have some respect for the lassies, because most of you little dribblers here haven't a clue. Enjoy your sock, it's all you have left in life.

How kind of you to drag yourself out of a vagina for long enough to type that.

Bongalongherb

Flint Fredstone wrote: »

How kind of you to drag yourself out of a vagina for long enough to type that.

I'm very good at multi-tasking, that's all I'll say, but thank you.

Car99

I'm surprised the management suspended the two employees on the report of one person to whom nothing was said directly. Very odd . Actually very hard to believe this happened.

Maybe op running an idea she had by the after hours forum to see how it would pan out in real life.

Jawgap

Car99 wrote: »

I'm surprised the management suspended the two employees on the report of one person to whom nothing was said directly. Very odd . Actually very hard to believe this happened.

Maybe op running an idea she had by the after hours forum to see how it would pan out in real life.

I kind of had that idea too - and the reported language doesn't sound like it would be used outside an internet meme! It certainly doesn't sound like something that would be said in an Irish workplace, but maybe the OP is writing about a place far away........

Bongalongherb

I'd say there is a lot more to it indeed, because in all fairness, why would a person in that situation upload their comment to after hours ?. If it is legitimate then ok, but this is the last place you would send a serious comment like that imo.

arybvtcw0eolkf

I think you're a lot of terribly gullible people.

I don't believe a word of the OP's story.

She's asking people to believe that just on her word alone (and on private conversations she overheard) that she got some people suspended from work!, yea right ~ BS. Complete fantasy.

Crosby Slimy Perfumery

Crosby Slimy Perfumery wrote: »

I think you're a lot of terribly gullible people.

I don't believe a word of the OP's story.

She's asking people to believe that just on her word alone (and on private conversations she overheard) that she got some people suspended from work!, yea right ~ BS. Complete fantasy.

I think she said there was an investigation, it wasn't her word alone, they asked the men involved.

Which doesn't per se make the story true. But a few posters have said "it's only hearsay/her word" etc. which is not what the OP said, she said they spoke to the men too.

SteM

Jawgap wrote: »

That's up to the individual - if it were me I wouldn't have reported it. It was was a private conversation.....what next? But I would have challenged them on it.

If they deserved reporting for having a conversation to which the OP was not a party, wherein they rated women on their physical appearance, what next? Report people because they rate their colleagues on their demeanour or psychological make-up? Report someone because you find out they hold extreme political or religious affiliations?

There is no private conversation in the workplace where other people can hear you. If you want to discuss things privately then do it out of earshot of others.

All your other examples are in your own head, none of those conversations happened. Even then, the 2 people were not talking about religious or political affiliations outside work. They were discussing in work whether they'd ride their co-workers within earshot of someone they work with. Real classy.

sbsquarepants

Blatter wrote: »

It sounds like you over stepped boundaries and are paying the price for it.

The guys sound like assholes but at the end of the day, they were not talking to you and you were not part of the conversation so you should have kept your nose out.

It'd be different if these things were being said to you (not necessarily about you) but they weren't.

I certainly wouldn't like to work with someone who was willing to go to management because of overhearing inappropriate conversations.

This sums it up for me. You don't get to choose what other people talk about ffs. The guys do sound like assholes i'll give you that, but so what?

You earwigged on a private conversation then went snitching to the boss when you didn't like it's content and now you're surprised that people don't want to talk around you - are you actually for real? You are actually surprised that people are giving you a wide berth?

timmy880

I'm surprised the management suspended the two employees on the report of one person to whom nothing was said directly. Very odd . Actually very hard to believe this happened.

Maybe op running an idea she had by the after hours forum to see how it would pan out in real life.

This stinks of a social experiment to test how people would react and tbh the results are expected....

I can't see how it's possible two people are suspended by the report of one person describing what she heard. There are many procedures to go through (including written and verbal warnings) before it reaches the suspension phase.

Bongalongherb

Crosby Slimy Perfumery wrote: »

I think you're a lot of terribly gullible people.

I don't believe a word of the OP's story.

She's asking people to believe that just on her word alone (and on private conversations she overheard) that she got some people suspended from work!, yea right ~ BS. Complete fantasy.

Are you saying that you don't like fantasies ?.

Bongalongherb

timmy880 wrote: »

This stinks of a social experiment to test how people would react and tbh the results are expected....

I can't see how it's possible two people are suspended by the report of one person describing what she heard. There are many procedures to go through (including written and verbal warnings) before it reaches the suspension phase.

It does seem like a social experiment considering the OP has not replied to most of the comments. Interesting.

timmy880

timmy880 wrote: »

This stinks of a social experiment to test how people would react and tbh the results are expected....

I can't see how it's possible two people are suspended by the report of one person describing what she heard. There are many procedures to go through (including written and verbal warnings) before it reaches the suspension phase.

The OP States that they interviewed the men, so whether it's true or not, she did describe a process.

rebelomar

I think we can file this one away under the never happened category...

I've worked for a few different companies in my time and have never encountered such stupidity (and I've seen a fair amount of stupidity).

If it did actually happen I apologise.

kfallon

rebelomar wrote: »

I think we can file this one away under the never happened category...

I've worked for a few different companies in my time and have never encountered such stupidity (and I've seen a fair amount of stupidity).

If it did actually happen I apologise.

Fair play to the OP tho, got 25 pages of people getting their kaks in a twist over a non event.

There was a little something for everyone to get worked up over!

CruelCoin

Anon.lady001 wrote: »

I want to find out people's opinions on this.. maybe some advice as well. I'm in a horrible position in work because I stood up to men who were belittling and treating my female colleagues like pieces of meat. But now people aren't speaking to me and I feel that I am being bullied.

I work in a large company and there are over 50 people working on my floor, all in close proximity to each other. There is a great mix of people and the banter was fun and harmless, for the most part. But on quite a few occasions, it became inappropriate and I made people aware about how I felt. The men in particular, would be talking about women they had had one-night-stands with the night before and what they had done to them... Not all of these men are single...

The last straw happened a few days ago. Two of the guys close to me were talking within earshot of me and I could clearly hear them rating women in the office. I clearly heard them say the following; "she is delicious", "I'd tap that", and "her tits are unreal". I also heard them make very cruel remarks about female colleagues whom they didn't find attractive. The tone of their 'conversation' was disgusting. It was so cruel and mercenary, and I wasn't going to let them get away with it. So I decided to do something about it. I went to the floor manager who escalated the problem to the senior manager. I was called into the office and asked to give a full report and transcript of what I believe they said. They then had interviews with the two men in question and both were suspended.

I thought I'd done the right thing but since this happened, I feel like most people in the office have turned against me and I feel like I'm being bullied. When I walk into a room, people blank me and walk out. I am being isolated. It's not just the men who are doing this, many of my female colleagues are not talking to me either. I can't believe this. I'm being bullied because I stood up for women who were being spoken about like they were pieces of meat. Some of you might say that I shouldn't have done it in the first place but I know that I would do it again, if it ever happened again. I'm wondering, was it wrong of me to stand up for these women?

Firstly i'm amazed that they got suspended in a "my word against yours" scenario.

I don't blame your colleagues for not wanting to talk to you, if you have the power to shut down their careers for something that may or may not be true.

Secondly "I wasn't going to let them get away with it.". Who made you the thought police? How high is your horse that you think that your view of the world should override everyone elses?
Nowhere is it written that you have the right not to be offended.

OP, you made your bed, shat in it, and are now bleating over having to sleep in it. Life lesson learned, hopefully.

Jawgap

SteM wrote: »

There is no private conversation in the workplace where other people can hear you. If you want to discuss things privately then do it out of earshot of others.

All your other examples are in your own head, none of those conversations happened. Even then, the 2 people were not talking about religious or political affiliations outside work. They were discussing in work whether they'd ride their co-workers within earshot of someone they work with. Real classy.

In the absence of any legislation to the contrary, the principle of 'reasonable expectation of privacy' applies. So if dumb and dumberer had been having the 'conversation' on email they'd be fair game as the DP legislation allows employers to access their own systems and people have no expectation of privacy there.

Two people having a conversation do.

Anyway, the more I think about this the more I'm convinced it's a wind-up, and anyway what led the OP to think the women in question needed standing up for? Maybe they were dealing with it in their own way or maybe they just thought the nature of the conversation said more about those having it than it ever said about those who were the subject of it.

Was there situation helped by the escalation of the situation, the subtext to which suggests all the other women in the place were somehow helpless and needed someone to stand up for them?

sbsquarepants

bubblypop wrote: »

Don't mind anyone on here calling you a snitch.
What happened was sexual harassment, and you were dead right to report it.

Can you sexually harass someone in their absence? I don't think you can.


What happened was a (possibly imaginary) conversation followed by a hysterical over reaction and a bout of extreme nose sticking.

Widdershins

sbsquarepants wrote: »

Can you sexually harass someone in their absence? I don't think you can.


What happened was a (possibly imaginary) conversation followed by a hysterical over reaction and a bout of extreme nose sticking.

I didn't think so either but apparently you can.

timmy880

Is Anon.lady001 Louise O'Neill in disguise?

This thread will probably appear in her next book/documentary as being conclusive proof of rape culture in Ireland.

_Brian

I've come across this before.

It's not that they disagree with the action you've taken on this instance.

But, you've displayed that your willing to go to management to rat people out and in many workplaces this is seen as a line that shouldn't be crossed.

I assume you guessed in advance that there would be a shift in the atmosphere after you did this. These "lads" type stick together and having a few suspended isn't going to go down well.



Incidentally years ago we had one awful racist in my team, some liked him and some hated his carry on, and the one black employee in the group was being bullied.
I went to my then manager and he said leave it with him rather than a formal complaint which may stirr up trouble. Few days later he called the racist into his office and said he had overheard him while passing the lunch table in the canteen, firstly he denied it but eventually gave in that he was making derogatory comments - immediate termination.
I was impressed with the handling of the case.

pumpkin4life

People like you OP are the reason that I and many other lads posting on this thread are constantly walking on eggshells at work, whether it is something as innocuous of having a U.S general election opinion, or something as asinine as this. What you did was wrong and stupid out in all fairness; you know this hence posting this thread. I also know that if it was (and I have seen it done the other way), women rating men, than nothing would have happened.

BTW: These lads were stupid, but getting suspended for that?

Maximus Alexander

Dirty Dingus McGee wrote: »

Yeah, there is but maybe not the job you want and people are not going to resign from a desirable job willy nilly and I'd imagine it never looks good to resign from a job for prospective future employers.

Huh? How would you ever have prospective future employees if you never resigned from a job?

_Kaiser_

What the 2 lads did was childish, but the OP completely overreacted IMO

This sort of behavior happens in every workplace and both sexes engage in it. It might be tasteless but it's also human nature and something that should be shrugged off/ignored, or dealt with by speaking directly to the people involved and telling them how uncomfortable it makes you. 9 times out of 10 you'd get a sheepish apology and no more problems. That is how she should have dealt with it.

But the bigger concern IMO is how unaware the OP seems to be of this reality and her expectation that she would get the same "right on" validation from her colleagues as she is getting from some posters here - but even the way she phrases that (that she feels she's being "bullied" by others now simply watching what they say around her or choosing not to talk to her at all - presumably on breaks) suggest that she likely finds offence everywhere.

The real world isn't made up of echo chambers, "likes", and safe spaces. Particularly in a working environment you need to realise that there's a certain give and take to most situations and that you will always encounter people you disagree with/don't like/don't respect but have to still get on with anyway. That's life!

Although I do agree with others that question whether this event actually happened as even the title suggests a clickbait motivation or similar.

JimsAlterEgo

the manager and/or HR should have made it clear to all the staff why it happened and that this is not acceptable. You can b sure they told a very different story to their friends.
saying that you should have taken them to task first and then reported them if it continued

arybvtcw0eolkf

Bongalongherb wrote: »

Are you saying that you don't like fantasies ?.

Well now I wouldn't go THAT far, I'm known to indulge my fantasies sometimes ~ Sex & Sexuality forum >>> this way

sbsquarepants

JimsAlterEgo wrote: »

the manager and/or HR should have made it clear to all the staff why it happened and that this is not acceptable. You can b sure they told a very different story to their friends.
saying that you should have taken them to task first and then reported them if it continued

I'm by no means well versed in HR (we don't even have any HR where I work) but I would imagine the 2 dismissed lads would have a very strong case should the choose to pursue it - the where suspended (presumably without pay) without warning because a colleague didn't like what she overheard in conversation that she wasn't part off and which wasn't even about her?
Seems an enormous overstep in discipline to me.

super_furry

_Kaiser_ wrote: »

This sort of behavior happens in every workplace and both sexes engage in it.

It really doesn't. Been working all my adult life for a variety of companies and never seen anything remotely like this.

JayRoc

No one is right here.

OP should have exhausted all avenues before making an official complaint.

But unless you work in an all-male environment, have some cop-on about the sort of loud conversations you have in the workplace. It's called manners.

KERSPLAT!

Closed for review, cheers