cheeky bum pinch/slap

Hammer89

Princess Consuela Bananahammock wrote: »

The phrase missing here is 'with consent.

Doesnt matter if she's your wife or not - and a wife can revoke consent - if it's non-consentual, it's assault.

Would you consider yourself a victim of sexual abuse if your husband or boyfriend slapped you on the arse after you told him in no uncertain terms not to? Would you then liken him to a registered sex offender? If the relationship to the person doesn't matter, and you qualify the lack of consent to equate to sexual assault, then you have to consider yourself a victim and him an offender.

Edups

Hammer89 wrote: »

Would you consider yourself a victim of sexual abuse if your husband or boyfriend slapped you on the arse after you told him in no uncertain terms not to? Would you then liken him to a registered sex offender? If the relationship to the person doesn't matter, and you qualify the lack of consent to equate to sexual assault, then you have to consider yourself a victim and him an offender.

Personally I would equate it to rape, but I'd consider you an awful scummy **** for doing it

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Hammer89 wrote: »

Would you consider yourself a victim of sexual abuse if your husband or boyfriend slapped you on the arse after you told him in no uncertain terms not to?

I specifcially said assualt, not abuse.

Would you then liken him to a registered sex offender? If the relationship to the person doesn't matter, and you qualify the lack of consent to equate to sexual assault, then you have to consider yourself a victim and him an offender.

If it's serious enough then yes, absolutely.

I could flip this by asking: are you telling me that non-consentual sexual activity should NOT be treated as assault?

Hammer89

Princess Consuela Bananahammock wrote: »

I specifcially said assualt, not abuse.

Alright, I apologise, but answer under the same question under the assumption I said assault.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock wrote: »

I could flip this by asking: are you telling me that non-consentual sexual activity should NOT be treated as assault?

That's such a broad question. I can't tell men or women what they should be comfortable with, or what they should treat as a sex offence. But I can tell you with a large degree of certainty that if a man and woman are kissing, and one of them decides to progress things by massaging the other's genital region without stopping to ask, 'Is it alright if I rub your mickey?' then that non-censentual sexual activity should not result in the lady being considered a sex pest for failing to ask the bloke's permission.

Call Me Jimmy

"go n' ****e" - andrea corr

Johngoose

I've actually had mental women coming up to me digging the heel of their high heel into my foot on a night out,trying to right a wrong saying I stood on their foot.So women on a night out can be psychotic.

wakka12

Johngoose wrote: »

I've actually had mental women coming up to me digging the heel of their high heel into my foot on a night out,trying to right a wrong saying I stood on their foot.So women on a night out can be psychotic.

Jesus
Thats all I can say

Johngoose

wakka12 wrote: »

Jesus
Thats all I can say

I know.Think some women can be very "catty" on a night out,don't know what gets into them

wakka12

Johngoose wrote: »

I know.Think some women can be very "catty" on a night out,don't know what gets into them

I think the meat market vibe of some clubs can put them on edge a bit, some girls I know can get a bit tense because of that I think

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Hammer89 wrote: »

Alright, I apologise, but answer under the same question under the assumption I said assault.

If serious enough, yes. But I think you'll find that the range of punishments under the banner of sexual assault for such things varies wildly. Not everything winds up onthe sex offenders register.

That's such a broad question. I can't tell men or women what they should be comfortable with, or what they should treat as a sex offence. But I can tell you with a large degree of certainty that if a man and woman are kissing, and one of them decides to progress things by massaging the other's genital region without stopping to ask, 'Is it alright if I rub your mickey?' then that non-censentual sexual activity should not result in the lady being considered a sex pest for failing to ask the bloke's permission.

If someone can not tell whether the man or woman is conformtable or not, then that should really be a giveaway that grabbing their ass is non-consentual.

If they're at the kissing stage, I'd argue there's consent on some level: I'm considering the appraoch where NO contact, physcial or otherwise, has taken place.

Felix Jones is God

Johngoose wrote: »

I know.Think some women can be very "catty" on a night out,don't know what gets into them

Captain Morgan normally.

triggermortis

woman should wear the traffic light system on a night out "green=game for a ride" "orange= two captain morgans and you can tiddle my box" "red= frigged as ****"

HS3

triggermortis wrote: »

woman should wear the traffic light system on a night out "green=game for a ride" "orange= two captain morgans and you can tiddle my box" "red= frigged as ****"

Because talking to the girl would clearly be too much effort.

But stepping into your bizarre little analogy for a moment. Even if a woman did follow such a a coding system, it doesn't mean she HAS to shag you. She still has a choice of who she rides, so you still may be going home alone.

fizzypish

Pinch a random girls arse? Sure... go for it but who in their right mind thinks that anything good will come of it in this day and age. Drunk\stupid people do stupid **** and ya can't fix stupid!

Rikand

So where does cheeky bum pinch place while you are currently in receipt of the shift. Is it still assault or an invitation to treat?

robarmstrong

I think this is really gone a bit too far with daft comparisons and spiteful posts, am I against pinching/slapping a random girls arse? Absolutely, it's completely invading someone's personal space. However, what if you've already had some form of interaction with the girl, you've kissed her a couple of times, you've danced with her for a good bit throughout the night? I saw a girl be all over a lad in a nightclub recently whilst they were on the dancefloor, she went to go get a drink and he followed her over to the bar and gave her a arse a squeeze only for her to turn around and flip out at him, leading people to think that it was some random pervert when in fact it wasn't, it was some bloke she'd been grinding up on all night.

I am more than willing to admit that everyone guilty of it whether it's intended to be a light-hearted bit of fun or not needs to be educated on respecting women/others, but it absolutely does not make them sex beasts or rapists, that's just absolutely ridiculous and has been exasperated due to today's society.

steddyeddy

Wrong? Yes. Sexual assault? If it was it means I was sexually assaulted countless times and there seems to a bit of gender discrimination involved in the assignment of outrage.

triggermortis

It is nearly always the woman who wouldnt get her ass pinched in a month of sundays that goes on the moral high horse speaking for every woman how it is sexual assault blah blah. im sure there are plenty of woman that dont mind, plenty of woman that do it and plenty of woman that go miles futher when drunk out with there girlfriend on hens etc.

some women need a cheeky ass pinch to get them to chill out and enjoy life instead of whining and moaning constantly

rant over

blue note

There have been countless threads recently where this is discussed and every thread has loads of guys saying that it happens to them regularly - is that sexual assault too? And girls responding that it is of course. Which isn't really the answer they're looking for even though they don't generally admit it.

Guys can't really see the big deal about a bum slap or pinch because it happens to them plenty and they think at worst generally it's a bit annoying. It also happens to girls regularly and it is a big deal to them. I don't know why everyone refuses to acknowledge that there's a difference in how both sexes perceive this sort of behaviour.

I also think that if women want this sort of thing stopped they have to stop doing it. Guys get groped and pinched and slapped on the arse from a young a age often by women old enough to be their mother and we're surprised that some of them grow up thinking that this sort of thing is okay? Some fellas think it's a bit of fun because it happened to them and they enjoyed it. If we want this to stop, one of the things that needs to happen is women need to stop doing it. (the other thing that needs to happen is these guys need to grow up and stop doing it too).

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

triggermortis wrote: »

It is nearly always the woman who wouldnt get her ass pinched in a month of sundays that goes on the moral high horse speaking for every woman how it is sexual assault blah blah. im sure there are plenty of woman that dont mind, plenty of woman that do it and plenty of woman that go miles futher when drunk out with there girlfriend on hens etc.

some women need a cheeky ass pinch to get them to chill out and enjoy life instead of whining and moaning constantly

rant over

Or maybe it's coming from women who've actually been raped by a man, someone who had no respect for consent or her body and as such, takes exception to being groped by a drunken slob

blue note

LexieOnRale wrote: »

Or maybe it's coming from women who've actually been raped by a man, someone who had no respect for consent or her body and as such, takes exception to being groped by a drunken slob

It's coming from a hell of a lot of women, loads of women hate it. Some probably enjoy the attention but I'd say they're in the minority.

Some guys also hate it, but I'd say those who feel that strongly about it are in a very small minority. Most probably find it slightly annoying or don't really care. And a few probably like the attention too.

Smart Bug

Coming from a male perspective, I simply cannot understand any posters confusion on this issue or their defence of a person's 'right' to grope a stranger in public (or private).

I don't know, I'm in my late thirties so maybe it's a maturity thing, but I would have thought it'd be self evident really.

steddyeddy

Same. I can't see the gray area in the question regarding my rights to touch someone else's body.

Hammer89

Smart Bug wrote: »

Coming from a male perspective, I simply cannot understand any posters confusion on this issue or their defence of a person's 'right' to grope a stranger in public (or private).

I don't know, I'm in my late thirties so maybe it's a maturity thing, but I would have thought it'd be self evident really.

Nobody is saying men have a right to grope women, or women have a right to grope men. If it happens to a man or woman when they're shopping in Ikea then it's plain unacceptable, and the term 'sexual assault' is far more applicable then, when it happens in one of the last places you expect.

But we're talking about it happening in a nightclub and certain social rules are far more flexible in one of these places. I mean, would you walk up to a complete stranger in broad daylight and starting meeting the head off them? Absolutely not. It's an alien and unacceptable concept in any culture, and yet it's commonplace in a nightclub - any nightclub in the first world! Why? Because people go to these places to have fun and potentially meet someone, whether for a one-night stand or in pursuit of a potential partner.

It's a very, very sexual atmosphere and minor sexual acts, such as men and women tapping, slapping or groping an arse unconsentually, happen very regularly as a result. Your method of communication is very limited because of the music, so men and women will resort to physical means in an effort to communicate something with you, and sometimes those means involve what they interpret to be an innocent gesture such as a grab of the hole. But should those same men and women be prosecuted under a sexual assault charge? C'mon guys. Let's not lose the run of ourselves here.

Certain things are par for the course in a nightclub. I'm not talking about sinister, forced sexual acts - I'm talking random kissing, non-consentual fondling during a kiss, or touching an arse. You can't get away with these things in society, but you can in the highly-charged sexual atmosphere of a nightclub and that's because they are not like any other establishment. The location is paramount.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

No it's not more acceptable for it to happen in a nightclub. I don't go to a nightclub and leave my rights to my own body at the door. I don't walk into a nightclub and grab a guys balls because that's not something I would do elsewhere so why is a club any different?

Even most stripclubs have a strict rule of no touching.

ScumLord

Thelomen Toblackai wrote: »

You mean sexually assault a stranger ? It's something only knuckle draggers think is ok.

Gawd, it's only a bit of locker room talk. YOu liberals with your liberal media agendas and, and... something about Muslims..

blue note wrote: »

Guys can't really see the big deal about a bum slap or pinch because it happens to them plenty and they think at worst generally it's a bit annoying.

Do they? Now I feel left out and unsexy.

Hammer89

LexieOnRale wrote: »

No it's not more acceptable for it to happen in a nightclub. I don't go to a nightclub and leave my rights to my own body at the door. I don't walk into a nightclub and grab a guys balls because that's not something I would do elsewhere so why is a club any different?

Would you be less surprised if it happened in a nightclub rather than if it happened in Spar?

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

blue note wrote: »

There have been countless threads recently where this is discussed and every thread has loads of guys saying that it happens to them regularly - is that sexual assault too? And girls responding that it is of course. Which isn't really the answer they're looking for even though they don't generally admit it.

Guys can't really see the big deal about a bum slap or pinch because it happens to them plenty and they think at worst generally it's a bit annoying. It also happens to girls regularly and it is a big deal to them. I don't know why everyone refuses to acknowledge that there's a difference in how both sexes perceive this sort of behaviour.

I also think that if women want this sort of thing stopped they have to stop doing it. Guys get groped and pinched and slapped on the arse from a young a age often by women old enough to be their mother and we're surprised that some of them grow up thinking that this sort of thing is okay? Some fellas think it's a bit of fun because it happened to them and they enjoyed it. If we want this to stop, one of the things that needs to happen is women need to stop doing it. (the other thing that needs to happen is these guys need to grow up and stop doing it too).

That's because guys generally assume that it comes from a woman. If it was gay men groping their asses every other night, you can pretty sure there'd be fights started over it on a regualr basis.

triggermortis wrote: »

It is nearly always the woman who wouldnt get her ass pinched in a month of sundays that goes on the moral high horse speaking for every woman how it is sexual assault blah blah. im sure there are plenty of woman that dont mind, plenty of woman that do it and plenty of woman that go miles futher when drunk out with there girlfriend on hens etc.

some women need a cheeky ass pinch to get them to chill out and enjoy life instead of whining and moaning constantly

rant over

Absolutle bull****, but if it helps you sleep at night...

Mr. FoggPatches

LexieOnRale wrote: »

No it's not more acceptable for it to happen in a nightclub. I don't go to a nightclub and leave my rights to my own body at the door. I don't walk into a nightclub and grab a guys balls because that's not something I would do elsewhere so why is a club any different?

Even most stripclubs have a strict rule of no touching.

I find its more acceptable in Italy where its my legal right, nay, my duty, to have a cheeky pinch.

osarusan

Hammer89 wrote: »

Would you be less surprised if it happened in a nightclub rather than if it happened in Spar?

Are you talking about what's surprising, or what's acceptable?